What's the dumbest shit you did while drunk, Sup Forums?

What's the dumbest shit you did while drunk, Sup Forums?

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Once I got soo shit faced I climbed up a jungle gym to the big swirly slide.

Went down and almost immediately fell 5ft to the ground on my face. Broke my glasses and bruised my tit.

While i was on drugs (not quite drunk) I thought the CIA was following me, then I fell into violent psychosis and nearly hit somebody with my car, then ran away from the police. I have court in the next few months, hopefully I don't end up in prison.

Fuck my sister, and almost wake her up because i was starting fuck her pretty hard, freeze out of fear, but the fear made me cum buckets, after that afraid that she was pregnant. So in the next week start few Awkward conversation about the pill to find out if she is on it. Thank the Lords she was

drove and wrecked my car

tfw when you dick is too small to wake her up

I tried to insert my finger forcefully in my anus while drunk and wiggle the shit out of it until it can't wiggle no more.

The next morning I pulled out and saw that it was my hamster all along. That was my last pet hamster.

>show titi or get hiti

and here on todays show of "things that never happened"

smashed my car, into another car.

I don't recommend it.

i shot a guy in Reno just to watch him die

fuck a trannie drugged her and then smash his head with a hammer

this is a good post

this is a good boy

there is many things both wrong and confusing about this

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drained a bottle of rum and made tater tots, figured if I wet my hands and was fast enough I could pull the tray out of the oven without burning myself (leidenfrost effect, right?)
>wrong.gif

Climbed up on the roof of our house during a party and fell asleep one time

>Undergrad at UC Berkeley.
>Shit faced drunk walking down University Avenue.
>Pull my cock out through the zipper and get hard.
>Car pulls over.
>It's a middle aged businessman.
>Get in and suck his cock. Swallow his cum. >He's the first of three.
Never sucked a cock before that night and haven't sucked one since.

This. Total of 10000 EUR cost for repairs, fine, lawyer, getting back my licence.

>came home drunk to gf passed out.
>felt horny and like the man
>fuck it, ill go for it i thought.
> kicked down door, whipped that belt off
>shit whipped across the room into the lamp and woke her up.
>"sup daddys little bitch" (she likes that shit)
>pull the covers, grab her pajama pants by the waist line
>haunching over her, I rip them off so fast and hard I go flying back into the dresser
>broken mirror, glass everywhere.
>apparently she was drunk too, and didnt respond.
>got my belt
>went kitchen.
>ate hot pocket and passed out under table.

MFW when waiting in the living room when she woke up to tell her what a mess she made when blacked out. She believed me.

bump

went on 4 chan