ITT: We describe movies badly and others guess what they are

ITT: We describe movies badly and others guess what they are.

>Tootsie visits the dentist

Movie 1
>A caring father forms a troubled but rewarding mentoring relationship with his young son's friend
>A woman shares some ice cream with her doorman
>A best selling novelist receives phone calls from a dedicated fan
>"I'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing with you!"
>"But I'm not laughing."
Additional hints
>Russian taxi driver seduces sister who wasn't laughing
>Doctor says lay off the salt. Last thing we see is man salting food heavily

Movie 2
>A man walks into town with his cock in his hand
>What he does with it is illegal in 49 states
Hints: I've never actually seen this movie, so I can't tell you anything about it. Kek! I just know that the production company came up with that as a tagline, then decided not to use it for obvious reasons.

Movie 3
>Be me, depressed Japanese man
>Attempt suicide; Fail
>Move to Thailand; Meet qt 3.14 thai girl
>Wash her dishes
>Attempt suicide; Fail
>Start to enjoy life in Thailand
>The lizard is lonely when he realizes he's alone
>Ambiguous ending
>Also, Yakuza

>ayy lmao
>common cold
>movie ends

>it's terrible

Every Steven Seagal movie ever made.

>robots look human
>guns
>stuff blows up

Terminator.

Cool Running's

Yes! Actually, there's a lot of movies that fit that awful description.

Slightly less accurate.

war of the worlds

>emo vampires
>party
>cruise through the night
>talk about art and poetry

>Gay guy beats people up
>Faggoty friend makes a porn with him, filming man in shower with dildo
>Gay guy rapes women to prove he's straight
>Gay guy dies; gets eaten by crabs

>kylo ren
>drives bus through the night
>thinks about art and poetry

Patterson

Are these the same movie? Wat?

Correct.

uh, thank god, i'm trying to get this solved for days..
>correct

Marathon Man

no

>a convience store
>a video store
>drug dealers
>shit happens

>Women go some place that's like a festival
>People look like vampires
>Vampire guy tears girl's shirt off, exposing her breasts
>Are these people really vampires?

Clerks

Right.

Clerks

Clerks?

Yep

iron man becomes black and jack black experiences intense withdrawal symptoms

>girl gets job
>hates boss
>quits

Tropic Thunder

The Devil Wears Prada

>badass cop is badass
>itsatrap.jpg
>an hero?

yup

>Therapist talks to various people in a town
>Everyone spills their guts to therapist
>Therapist never really says anything, just listens
>People heal themselves by talking to him
>Therapist isn't really a therapist
>Also, Earl rides his skateboard

>people shoot in warehose
>stevebuscemi.jpg
>the end

IT'S NOT FUCKING RESERVOIR DOGS

>IT'S NOT FUCKING RESERVOIR DOGS
Reservoir Cats

>honker
>jeopardy
.>vampire slayer not slaying vampire

>John Connor goes to prison
>Kevin McCallister's dad can't get him out
>The Green Goblin wants to buttfuck him but becomes a mentor instead
>John Connor and the Green Goblin stab Roseanne's ex husband

>midgets walk around a lot.

Dracula (1992)

Con Air?

no

>Let them use phone
>Get buried in the yard

Animal Factory.

Better Luck Tomorrow

Correct. I'm impressed. Even though I made it kinda obvious, I didn't expect anyone to get that for a while.

>entourage really good at writing equasions on windows
>make a lot of money
>still unhappy

nope, but I'll put it on my list

>A mans wife cheats on him then he goes on an adventure with a black man and sets himself on fire.

>slaps a frog
>?????
>lollipops

>Be me, socially autistic faggot
>Literally forget to eat because I'm such a sperglorg
>People make fun of me for being a wizard
>Run around in circles all day
>Almost kill some innocent people just for the fuck of it
>Become social outcast
>Spend rest of life total pariah
>Travel to Heaven
>Turn into Jesus v 2.0
>Go back to Earth
>Try to teach other people how to become Christlike
>They still tell me to go fuck myself

The Marine

Toy Story 2

>beta starts to dream about spiders
>beta sees himself but alpha
>alpha fucks beta's wife
>beta gets alpha's wife
>turns out to be a goddamn spider

Cocoon

>girl new job
>talks to guy about art and poetry
>shoots someone else

Good will hunting

no, but it's acceptable

no but close

Game of thrones

Bully

Cool.

Another guess: Hell Comes to Frogtown

A winner is you.

good flick. true story too

Top fucking lmao

did i mention kung fu?

>dude has oneitis
>dude and friend crash a party
>meet qt3.14 at party
>oneitis forgotten
>qt3.14's cuz is angry, kills friend
>dude kills cuz
>dude and qt3.14 both an hero

Probably still to0 easy.

Nope

>dudes appearantly don't like each other
>fight
>martha wins

>Be me, undercover cop
>I'm the good looking Hollywood hunk of the moment, so it doesn't even matter that I can't act my way out of a wet paper bag
>Hang out with good guys
>On the trail of bad guys
>The bad guys might not be bad guys
>The good guys aren't the good guys
>Maybe I'll become a bad guy too

Which two movies does this describe?

You posted this last night and someone got it...and I've already forgotten what it was.

no, as long as i was in the thread no one got it

>the good nic cage movie
>no, not gone in 60 seconds
>the other one

22 jump street

The Rock

or

Leaving Las Vegas

Wicker man

I stand corrected. I very accurately described four movies: that's one of them, which I wasn't thinking of, and there's another that also fits the formula.

romano and jillette

>girl pissed at older sisters bf
>sends him to jail
>bf and sis die

Close

breathless

just a bunch of people sleeping but it's really dramatic with epic music scores

i forget the name its like enemy or something

I don't want to spoil it for others since I didn't guess it myself. But someone definitely gave a movie that matched the description (illy-bay athgate-bay, if I recall correctly).

Correct! It's enemy

>dude good with books
>travels through europe
>fucks satan

Vanilla Sky

Probably not the movie you're thinking of but it fits.

Sixth Sense?

American History X

Nope, although these aren't bad choices

Matchstick Men. Adaptation

>illy-bay athgate-bay
???

Lord of War

Close enough.

you ill never guess this one.

The movie teases you about raping a 16 years old, the rape happens but there is no escene... FUCK YOUR AUSTRALIANS!!!! wasting my time

>teenage dickbag terrorizes town
>watches movies in jail
>good man
>jk hes still bad

>install gentoo
>the feels
>get dumped

>American History X
It was Animal Factory, as guessed correctly.

>Sixth Sense
I haven't seen it, so that might also fit, but it's not the one I'm thinking of.

Hint1: The two movies did come out the same year.
Hint 2: Mine isn't supernatural.

9th gate

>dude can't speak good
>dude sees doctor
>brother gets married
>dude learns to speak

Win

Inception

yup

Pig Latin for Billy Bathgate, which was the movie I thought someone gave for your Steve Buscemi.jpg mystery. But I guess that was the wrong movie too.