Relationship/dating advice thread

Relationship/dating advice thread

I'm not gonna pretend to be a guru, pickup artist, or sex god. No Red Pills, no hatecels.

I'm just a normie with experience who can tell where other people might be going wrong

How do I open up to a new boyfriend about a fetish/fantasy that I have because of past sexual abuse?

ive got a 5 incher. should i be worried about sex in a relationship

That's some scoliosis right there.

Classmate always flirts with me. We've felt each other up, kissed many times, always end up dancing together drunk etc. She says things like "oh how is a guy like you still single blah blah blah" - and then she goes and gets with two different guys in front of me in a club last week. Is she trying to make me feel jealous or am I overrating how much she likes me?

First, and this is very important, you have to make sure it's healthy for you to even engage in that fetish.

I had an ex who was sexually abused, and she was a virgin when we met. Every step forward we made sexually had the danger of causing her to take two steps back.

The mind wants different things when it's horny. Just make sure that any conversation you have about it includes a brief description of your past abuse, giving him the understanding in advance if you have to suddenly stop, so he doesnt feel like he did something wrong and can then help you.

If you ask him to engage in something with you and then suddenly get triggered and ask him to stop, it's going to be very confusing for everyone. And then at least he can reassure you that you dont have to feel guilty.

Other than that, you can bring t up in the bedroom, just giving him directions and then letting him take the wheel if he's comfortable.

nah. If a girl is at the stage where she's gonna see your cock, she already wants it. Unless it was a micropenis, she's probably not gonna hit the brakes. Just make sure you know how to use it. I know it's cliche, but foreplay and vocalization goes a long way. Most girls don't cum from penetration anyway, so 5 inches is enough to make getting fucked feel good (if it's thick enough). Just make sure you make her cum before or after, probably with your mouth.

Best way to approach a girl at a club ?

this is a pathetic attempt for attention OP
porn is better than dating or casual sex

Dance well, once you have her attention just go for it.

using the power of interpretive dance

Girls can be complex. Sometimes, you can't think of it as "she has an amount of attention to give to each man, and it all has to balance out to 100%". It can change, be in flux, or conflict. She can be giving 70% to 2 guys at the same time, if you follow.

She clearly likes attention, and likes to play around. She could be making you feel jealous on purpose, or maybe she's just enjoying herself. It's always hard to tell with that type what they want.

The best thing to do is just make your move. It differs if you want a relationship or you just want to get your dick wet, but in the end making your move is the only way to know what she wants.

You might become one of a few guys she fucks, or if she actually likes you that way, she might cut it out with the other guys.

TL;DR she would probably fuck you if you made a move, just don't expect a committment

At a club, like most situations, confidence is key. Look as fly as you can, and look like you're having a good time. If you're dancing your ass off, looking like you're just there in your own world having fun, people should notice. If you seamlessly hop on over to a girl who's dancing already, she'll probably accept it. People go with the flow when they're drinking.

Doing this to a group of people, whether it's all girls or a mix, is risky. If it's a group of girls, they're probably just there for like a girls night and want to keep it closed. If it's a mix of girls and guys, you're risking the guys getting aggressive

Anyway, find your opening, dance together, let her go get her drinks or whatever and then catch up to her

If I wanted attention why would I do this on Sup Forums?

real grills are better any time

You're doing this for attention because since you don't have tits offering to get other people to see tits is the next logical evolution of the attention whore that can't produce them with a time stamp.

No real girls are not better. There is zero draw back to watching it on film. Trying to get with them in person is boring, time consuming, a pretty big std risk, way too much effort for someone you're not even going to want others to know you slept with, you don't want to be around them at all, you don't like the personality it's basically all sex anyway. Rubbing one out just avoids all that shit in the first place.

I'm really into BDSM type stuff, what is the best way to bring this up without sounding creepy?

Also going deeper into the topic, my relationship goals are basically to have a few fuck buddies (sub girls) and have them wearing bondage shit around the house and chastity belts when they are out. How do I even start with these goals without sounding creepy? I get "just find a kinky girl lol" but thats going a bit further then just finding a girl. How would I even bring this up? I feel like it would be alittle off to come off as vanilla and then out of the blue be all about that 50 shades of grey stuff. What do

>ayy bby wan sum fuk?

Thanks man. Dating in college is a fucking pain in the ass. Only now I am realising how big of a difference there is between physical engagement and a relationship. Trying not to place too much of an emotional weight on women is fucking impossible for me.

It's tough. You just have to know what you want, and try to filter the girls you meet. You might want to possess someone, and be close with them, but you have to know if you just feel lust or real feelings. At the same time, you have to know if they would even be good relationship material.

This is a really complicated one. I'll have to speak generally.

First of all, make your intentions clear from the beginning, and then try to find women in places where those intentions are acceptable. You may find a gf, and then get her into it, but then you need to either get her okay with you having other women, and find other women who are okay with it as well.

These types of women like strong, experienced men. So you may want to just start with a normal girlfriend who you can grow and experiment with, but let her know you want it to be an open relationship early on.

Also, if you have lots of play partners who you're not exclusive with, they're not necessarily gonna take commands once they leave your house.

Really it sounds like you want a harem and I think that that's too big a goal to even be considering right now.

The best advice I can give is to insert yourself in the local BDSM communities, genuinely try to learn and grow, get into poly relationships. Dont feel entitled to anything, dont try any tricks. What you have right now is a fantasy but you can't chase it just yet. Be real with yourself and with others

>At a club, like most situations, confidence is key.
hog wash. If you're such an expert you'd know a club is 100% about looks. Nothing else what so ever.
>oh hey im just going to creep up here and ease drop on this conversation and say something witty
no that'd be weird as shit even if it wasn't too loud. you can dance like a fucking monkey being electricuted to death and girls won't give a shit if they find you attractive. they are not there for witty conversation, they go there to get drunk and nail whatever guy they find most attractive. they're not there to have "fun with their friends" they want to look good and meet someone that looks good. it's entirely superficial, acting like it's anything else just shows you have no idea what you're talking about. they don't want to talk you're not going to have a fun conversation yelling over music. the lighting sucks to help people look better to drunks. it's a cultural sucking pit of people pretending there is a facade of anything to it other than looks.

So pretty much just state that I'm looking for an open D/s relationship with the girls that I meet and just go from there.

I think in the past I've let these girls pretty bluntly that this is the type of stuff I'm into. It was met with a lot of resistance.

>Also, if you have lots of play partners who you're not exclusive with, they're not necessarily gonna take commands once they leave your house.
That's what I was thinking, really wasn't planning on commands past the chastity belt thing.

>harem
Yea that's what I'm picturing. As an end goal like you said. It's quite the fantasy but its one I wouldn't be able to make happen most likely until I'm out of college and have more time.

>Don't feel entitled to anything
This is a mental hang up that I'm trying to get over right now just as a general thing when it comes to relationships.

But even with all that, I'd be down for just having a kinky GF to create a real D/s relationship with for right now.

First of all, I never said I was an expert. Second, I did say "look as fly as you can". But I can't give them any fashion advice or change how they look. So besides looking as good as they can, what else can they do that they have control? Be confident, have fun.

If you look sexy as hell and just stand around looking at the women, your chances aren't gonna be as great.

I'm not gonna read all the rest you said because at no point did I ever say this

>oh hey im just going to creep up here and ease drop on this conversation and say something witty

I said dont approach women in groups. I also said if she wants to take a break from dancing, go catch up with her, try to share some drinks and what I didn't mention but I guess I need to spell out, is get her back out on the floor so she's not dancing with some other men. At no point did I try to pretend that you were gonna be able to use witty charm and one liners to make a real-ass connection.

If you were friends with any women and talked to them before they're inside the club, you'd know that plenty go in groups. Yes sometimes they split to try and get fucked but sometimes they do just want to look good and dance with each other and definitely DONT want guys approaching them

I'm sorry you saw some girl you were eyeing on the dance floor get figerblasted ten feet from you while your popped-collar ass was wallhanging, and I'm sorry /r/incels got shut down but don't come making things up for an excuse to shit on people man, fuck.

trying to make u jealous u fucking dumbass

>But even with all that, I'd be down for just having a kinky GF to create a real D/s relationship with for right now

Go for that. And if that's what you're after, then you don't have to be up front about D/s. Things can progress naturally.

As I said though, an important thing about making your intentions clear is to do so in places where those intentions are acceptable.

Also keep in mind that chastity or discreet public stuff is actually kinda heavy. You might see it at just wearing some sexy device but it's not always comfortable to wear and it's giving up a lot of control. It is not something you typically do right away with someone, even if they have a fetish for it too.

Try fetlife for finding meetups, or any number of kinky dating sites. Or on vanilla sites, you can allude to it. I know OKC has kink themed personality questions you can answer publically. That way you already have an idea if you're on the same page.

And yes, entitlement is the big one. Number one thing that kink-minded women complain about is dominants thinking they own them within minutes of talking. You don't own them until they give themselves to you (obviously there are play parties and sluts but you know what I mean).

Seeing a girl, heavy self esteem issues (abusive mom), any tips on how to improve/fix that?

i was in relationship with one girl that had similar problem. You cant

It's not really something you can fix. Just be careful not to make it worse. Choose words carefully if ever talking about her appearance or other girls. Compliments do help, even if she seems to be ignoring them, just don't overdo it. It can be hard with things as simple as complimenting a new haircut. If you are too positive and overwhelmingly love the new one it COULD make her think you didn't like the old one.

Again, just be careful and supportive and don't give her any reason to think you dont like her appearance. HEr emotions will overtake her in hard moments, but when she calms down you can at least walk her through the logic and point out that you never said anything negative

>dis green?

just be forward with her, don't go light on the PDA and other small things and be there for her whenever she needs it?
oh, and don't even look at other girls

>yis, dis grn 2

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Thanks for info, will try keep that in mind.

Stop being needy.

How do I get my girl to do anal?

have you tried just asking her?
maybe for a birthday present or as a joke or something

Play with her ass a bit during normal sex. Just rubbing it while eating her out or doing doggy. This is just to see if she hates it or not.

Eventually you just have to ask. It takes prep so you can't really rely in the heat of the moment. But she has to actually want to try it

R.I.P. My Thread

You sound like a worthless shitsub of a man yourself dude.. how can you hope to dom any woman?

That's some scoliosis right there.

0/10 here, I've been friends a grill (7/10) for about 4 years now, and we talk about all the b.s. in our lives. Basically I have earned enough trust to try something out but don't want to ruin some thing this far into it... What can I say or do to make it less of a "jape" for both of us, when I tell her?

I've dom'd plenty of women lol. You talking about my insecurities? I'm working through them user :)

Dude from what i read i can only understand that she see you as her best friend. And unfortunately she will not see you as anything else .