Psychanon from last night here. Psychology/advice thread, take 2...

Psychanon from last night here. Psychology/advice thread, take 2. Tell me about your problems and I will try to advise or explain. Bear in mind I am not a doctor.

>psychoLOGy

I'm never satisfied in my life and am a serial cheater.

I think I enjoy the thrill of the hunt more than I do the actual kill, if that makes any sense.

Once I have the prize, it becomes almost worthless for me. So I chase girl after girl and really do enjoy the stage before any kind of relationship is defined. As soon as they try to lock me down, or I lock them down, that's it, the hunt is over.

I hate this about my self. I've cheated on my wife, with whom I have 2 kids with, 5+ times now.

FIX ME.

oh psychanon, why are you a fucking loser?get that soft science bullshit out of ere

Sounds like you don't actually have an end goal in mind. Do you have an ideal woman? Someone you would be happy with in your mind?

It's less science and more life experience, but I appreciate your input.

I don't know.
Every woman I go after is better than the last in some regard. It's like just moving onto the next best thing I know I can get.

In my head, the idea woman is just the next one I know I can get.

How do you view your wife?

i have no disciplin when i'm sober and can only study/work when i'm high from cannabis

how do i flip it around so it's opposites?

I'm being fixed at the moment by a psychologist, i had a rather bad breakdown in august and i'm just starting to feel somewhat lucid again. I can't leave the house still, but we are working towards that. One thing that surprised me was when I admitted I was species dysphoric, she was totally cool with it, and encouraged it.

oh hey, its me.

Stop smoking completely. Weed affects people differently but it can cause mood shifts and make you less energetic. Plus, it's a really shitty habit to have when you're trying to start a career. One failed drug test can fuck up some really great opportunities.

Work ethic, on the other hand, is something that can only be built by just sacking up and doing the work. You will progressively build a tolerance for doing things that aren't fun.

I'm glad to hear you're recovering.

i've had breaks from it for 2+ years and i'm still retarded when i'm sober after all that time

Insecure. Believe you are worthless so seek outside validation.

Not quite pure life experience, but it definitely helps relate to patients. More scientific method applied to mental medicine.

...

Good thread

That's an interesting take. Could be right.

is this me?

I'm much the same as this user, though I only once sort-of cheated. (And that was apparently because she thought we hadn't properly broken it off when I thought that was clear.)

Define what you mean by "retarded." Do you actually feel less capable when you're sober or is it just difficult to get motivated?

Why are you such a faggot?
Why haven't you killed yourself yet?

how do you help a borderline (BPD) person? how do you lessen their anxiety about everything?

i can't concentrate on anything properly and don't take notice to my body signals such as thirst or hunger, never look at the long term and only seeking short term thrills to pass time

Thanks.

It's hell. The rational side of my brain wants to do shit, like just go for a walk, until anxiety overrules everything. We're doing CBT.

how do you deal with guilt, i barely ever felt it until recently.

that's just escapism. you're running from your problems because you're afraid of the outcome or don't think you can tackle the issues that you face.

survivors guilt too. fuck.

I'm not sure, user. I'm not a doctor. I'm better at helping people with more mundane issues. You should seek a psychiatrist, and try to make a habit of anxiety-relieving activities like exercise.

Hello faggot. Im holding into some sadness. How do i embrace my emotion and bawl it out?

Someone needs to invent a benzodiazepine that doesn't cause dependency and works like valium+xanax combined.

What happened to make you feel guilty?

do you think if i use the weed until i've studied enough and gotten a job i could quit the weed and live a normal life from that point?

What has made you sad?

you're in for a ride

a lot of shit.

How do I stop hating myself for things I did, things I said, stupid decisions I made? How do I deal with shame?

i was cheated on hard by ex-wife, almost killed in a car accident, and then led on by some chick all about a year ago and it's caused me to become increasingly unhinged mentally.

i have no idea what to do beyond seek a psychiatrist.

you're not helping.
heh, the girl is like allergic to physically demanding tasks.

No. You could easily relapse to your old behavior. You need to be able to work without being high, period.

Is that other user right? Are you afraid of the future?

Not sure. Wife left one year ago? Triggered childhood of being raised by aloholics?

That's a lot to cope with. Do you have things in your life that are more stable? Maybe a job you enjoy or a hobby, like art?

I hate my job, I hate my degree, I have trouble trusting people, I'm resistant to change, and I feel that there's no effective way to get ahead in life. I love my GF and have a good family and a few close good friends but I just want OUT of society at large because I dont feel like I mesh right. I cant stand politics, I cant stand materialism, I cant stand capitalism, I just want a small home, grow my food and just be happy, but I cant do that since society doesnt allow for it, so Im miserable because Im stuck in a system I cant escape and its draining my soul.

Any advice would be great

I'm here for you if you want to elaborate. I'd like to know what sort of things are bothering you, more specifically.

Have you come to terms with the fact that she's gone, or do you still hold feelings for her?

I have a full-time job I've become increasingly disillusioned with, but I need it to pay the bills.

I barely enjoy anything anymore. Vidya, art, nothing. I just kind of do it to pass the time. I've completely lost any motivation I had to accomplish anything.

does not like go to outside since i'm 12 years old (22 now)
dont like people in general, i avoid having contact with them
and so i does not speak, even when people speak to me, i try to make clear and simple answer to be alone faster
i lost courage, i does not trust in myself anymore...

There's a lot of things you can do to escape the typical everyday. Naturally, I gravitate to suggesting military service, something I myself am pursuing. Would that be something you might enjoy?

It's a way to learn trade skills, get great benefits, cut your expenses to near zero, meet interesting people, and if you want, travel.

if you think you'll find it on a Sup Forums thead by a guy that's not actually qualified to give you help, you really do need help

you can't really help, they will always feel a certain type of anxiety. the extremity of the behaviour will lessen with years.
anxiety controlling excercises can help but won't always, and when they won't the person will probably feel worse.
the best thing you can do is being understanding of the mental state the person has and being supportive, but like i said, that is one hell of a ride, because there are bound to be issues you're not gonna be very supportive of;

thanks, but i'll be taking most of it to the grave. i hurt my family without fully realizing it though, and didn't notice how much until recently. that sucks.

i think so

No and no. Ive spent my entire life suppresing my feelings up until a couple weeks ago.

>not op
usually people who talk like this really hate themselves and can't stand to see other people "meshing" well like they cant. i get that what you really want is to lessen your stress levels. you should do that by resolving your internal strife first.

kys

In the past, what things have made you most happy? Your relationships, or more internal forms of happiness like self-improvement?

Embrace it. Practice self compassion and understand that regret orientation is both a distorted way of thinking and a type of maladaptive coping skill like worry (feels useful in short term; ultimately useless and destructive)

Also get over yourself. You are not center of the world.

Respond pls

do drugs untill that is a bigger problem

He is the most important person in his world.

i'm not having suicidal ideas. i'm "normal"
i guess that a good point.

Sounds like social anxiety. I can relate. The best thing to do is to confront it, to try and find friends in a setting you can be more comfortable in, like a hobby group.

I used to make sprites for people a lot. Never was particularly good at it, but people seemed to like them. I played instruments periodically. I never was good at that either but it helped a little.

You first.

The system is broken. Guess there is nothing to do but complain and be martyr.
This type of fatalism is dangerous because it reduces personal responsibility and encourage destructive blame.

Maybe. But that type of thinking got him there.

You need to find a way to express it. The most natural ways to release these feelings are to create art of some kind or another, or to just hash it out with someone. Find someone you can talk to about it, face to face.

ill do you if you do me, you piece of shit

this came out of nowhere, i have absolutely no idea where this is from. many people say that these kind of problem are due to something that happened while ago and is something to move on. I get it, but no fucking idea where this is from.

with all these terror attack i'm more and more convinced i'm just normal and people are somewhat crazy go outside...

Im 28 years old, I considered military but its not something I align with because I fear death. Its nto the fact things are the everyday, I see how inequitable the world is at a macro scale, I see how inequitable the world is at the micro scale and ultimately feel like "whats the fucking point?", not in a killing myself way but in a "how can I even get motivated" way. Like, I work my job for 7 years, bust my ass, take initiative, be better than any of my peers yet the people who suck the right cock get ahead. Not only that but at a more macro level I see my Managers making 5x my pay for doing dick all, absolutely useless people, and basically anyoen I talk to says it works roughly the same where they work. I cant motivate myself to change my job because they treat me like shit because in my head im thinking "chances are, ill have to deal with the same shit with different people, at least I know these assholes and can navigate them".

I actually love me, love life, and have things i could be passionate about. I actually dont mind not meshing with people, except it stops me from being given a chance to prove myself valuable and limits my social network which means I don't have access to many job opportunities (#1 way employers find new employees is by internal reference).


Either way thanks to both of you since just talking sometimes makes me feel better if only for a short while.

You're the creative type then. You should find an instrument you like, find skills that let you make things yourself and others can enjoy.

Go fuck urself with ur shitty "advice".

I really should, but my insecure ass is also extremely self-critical and honestly, fearful of people badly reacting. I've had bad experiences with that.

i guess that an advice ?

I use some drugs to mellow out, but Im too responsible to ever let it interfere with work/school/family.
The system -is- broken and its ultimately either choose to ignore it and become a cog in the broken machine, or resist and be in pain. I cant lie to myself, ive tried so many times to just convince myself "who cares? these issues are mostly far away from you, most everyone is working under the same broken rules, and you could exploit the system" But I can't, it just doesn't work. This is how I actually found out how I could be happiest, but that isn't really attainable without first submitting to the system.

My happiest state would be to have a small amount of land with a small cozy cabin, grow my food, make my energy, live a homesteading life. But to do this I need at least 100k, to get that I need to get more money, to do that I need to mesh better with people/society, and worst yet this all takes time out of my infinitely short life. I am TERRIFIED of not existing, of not being alive. I want my life to be as close to 100% happy, pleasure and hedonistic as possible given this absolute limit of life.

>because I fear death
There is a lot you can do in a non-combatant role. As a matter of fact, the vast majority of military personnel are not soldiers. It's an interesting sort of culture too. I am averse to people who don't like to work hard. The military erases that, everyone has to bust their ass. It's not a panacea, but you should look into it. If you're American, the US Air Force in particular has a lot of well-paying tech fields they'll train you in.

That's simply part of the territory with art. Even if you only make it for yourself, it would be cathartic though.

I'm Canadian (yes, our military is pretty laughable) so I guess I cant really ask many questions. but I mean if its something I could get into as a 28 year old maybe? Is it something where you get paid while training too?

I'm sorry you don't appreciate what I have to say. I do hope I've helped you in some way.

Military technical training can be very long, anywhere from a month to a year or so. I can only imagine they pay you during training like any other job.

You really should find an activity you can enjoy with other people. The only way to get more comfortable with anything is to expose yourself to it. Athletic pursuits like a fighting style or going to a rock climbing gym would be especially good, the adrenaline and dopamine will ease the anxiety and let you speak more freely.

You're right, it would be at least cathartic, even if I never decide to share it.

OP here again, did a little reading, and It's possible that you could immigrate to the US and enlist here. The US military is quite well-paid, and we get a shit-ton of benefits for life like really good banking. Something to consider if the Canadian military doesn't have much to offer.