Hey guys guess what

Hey guys guess what

I wish I would get published

You get published but james Patterson takes the credit

Granted but its a police report

I wish my dick would stop falling off

Granted.

You no longer have a dick

I wish I had sex with a car

Thanks dad i can really trust you

Granted but now you are a car and your owner is sweaty and overweight

I wish I was dead

I wish i could make high quality rips

I wish my parents loved me

Granted but your undead

Granted, but reincarnation exists and you reincarnate into the same kind of life

I wish jews would stop shilling on Sup Forums, i just wanna jerk my little dick to loli porn and not see a huge nigger dick

Granted. Your parents love you.

But they died 10 years ago.

Granted but only because you explode if they dont

Granted, but they take turns raping you every night

Granted they're both hyenas

Granted but you´re not popular and facebook steals all your views

Granted, there are no more jews on Sup Forums.

And not a single thing changes

I wish i were a fish

I wish i could see the dinosaurs

Granted, but you don't get gills and drown

Granted, but you're a fine filet and I gobble you up for christmas dinner

I wish i was a pokemon master

Granted, but you're used in Japanese gay porn

I wish i was dead

Granted, but only 5min b4 the meteor strikes

I wish i had a bag of skittles

Goddamnit.

Granted, but in reality you're locked away in a psych unit hallucinating

Granted, but you get raped by professor oak

Granted, but you have to fuck all the dinosaurs and survive then you can get back home

I wish the pool never got aids

Granted.

You are teleported millions of years back in time to the jurrasic period. You will be hunted by dinosaurs for the rest of your life and you will never see another human being ever again.

Granted, but now it has super aids

You can, its a trex right before it eats you

granted but the bag also contains peanut m&ms

I want free psychedelic mushrooms

I wish i could loose my virginity to a hot shemale

Granted, but its closed for maintenance anyways.

I wish i could follow the damn train

Granted but theyre death caps

Granted but the skittles just make you explode and fucking die because fuck you

Granted, but you have a bad trip and the devil pulls your teeth out of your arsehole,

Granted but shes 50

Granted but she has a pussy also

Granted, but you're now black.

But bright cloths would keep them away along with them being wary of a nre creature

I wish someone would give me a (You)

Granted, but it's just your dad in a wig.

I wish I had 10 million dollars in my bank account.

Granted, but fucking kys faggot.

JOKES ON YOU I FUCKING LOVE THOSE

Granted, but as you are walking home you get shot by a guy from florida

Still hot. Thanks user
Better?

granted but it's me and I call you a faggot

you fucking faggot

I wish I were hot af

Granted, but your accounts are now frozen indefinitely for "accounting discrepancies".

I want an attractive girlfriend who generally cares about me.

Granted, but we forgot to hit reply

Sounds about rights

Granted, but it's all dirty money, you're going to jail

Granted, but the it's just someone calling you a fucking faggot

and you also have a nut allergy.

Oh :^(

Granted but shes a trap

Granted but your mother will die in her sleep tonight if you don't respond to this post, no immunities

granted, but you have erectile dysfunction

Granted, but she gets passed around the office filled by all of her male co-workers.

Granted, your virginity is so loose it falls off

Granted but there's stingrays

NOOOOOOOOO MY REESES AND PEANUT M&M

Granted, you're now literally so hot your skin and muscle has melted off, leaving you a glowing red skeleton. You're still sentient and can walk around, but you cannot feel, taste, smell, hear or see. You merely use your "skeleton sense" to know what is going on around you.

underrated post

RREEEEEEE

Granted, but she gets gang raped by """refugees""" in cologne and the trauma prevents her from ever enjoying sex ever again.

Granted. But it's because you're being roasted alive.

I wish my dick was 1 inch bigger, always worked when I needed it to and won't turn me gay somehow.
HA take that!

kek'd and checked

Granted, but you're now always clammy to the touch. Slightly disgustingly sticky.

I wish the world knew how evil jews were

I wish I was American

I want pic related

I wish that you would believe your eyes
If ten million fireflies lit up the world as i fell asleep

Granted.

But it's a black dick

Damn it :^( can I wish to correct it?

Granted. But you become so disgusting you'll never need to use it again.

It's one inch bigger but the growth came from a cancerous tumour.

Granted but you live in a New York ghetto

Granted, but you slowly lose girth for the rest of your life until you have a literal pencil dick

Granted but its during the great depression

don't really have a dick so fucking deal

I shall provide.

Granted, you now have a 2 inch dick

but falls off after the very next time you cum

I wish Conker's Live and Reloaded wasn't a massive disappointment

Granted, but you now have type 1 diabetes.

Granted but you die in a shooting the day after you enter the country