How do you manage when she left

how do you manage when she left.

Ur, keep busy with developing and reaching your goals? Top of that list is be better at math.

Focus on your stuff. Keep your mind busy and distracted until she goes away.

it's 4 am where I live, and she left, without a warning, though it was not to be unexpected. I'm left with most of the things, I'm left with everything to manage. No sense in writing about it; drugs don't help, C2H5OH doesn't help, talking with friends doesn't help. Can't work, the pain is too much. I've divorced 5 years ago. This is the first and last woman I've loved since. It wasn't perfect, it was barely bearable, but at least it was something. Now it's nothing, and I'm just older.

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it was like take a stone off from around my neck

Not op but that's an excellent picture.

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"Developing"? I'll call bullshit. I've already graduated McL twice, got BSc and MSc (Technical Physics/Applied CS). I've started doing PhD, it makes no sense, it's boring, not challenging. What "goals"? I've earned more money than I can spend. I've played music for people, I've written for people, got acclaim, it makes no sense, it's neither fulfilling nor fun when there's nobody that can share that with you.

What "your stuff"? After 5 years day-by-day with somebody, there's no "your stuff". You can't be "busy and distracted" for your entire life just to cope with pain. That makes no sense.

Yes, it's like a stone was taken. Pity, the stone was my heart.

It's pretty, but I'm not into feels usually. She'd go into feels and drew pretty foxes for me. She made me feel-proof.

help someone.

Do you know why she left?

she wouldn't have left if you weren't all autistic cucks

i miss you monica...u got pregnant by some cuck u don't even know.

I know only what she told me. She told me nothing of relevance. She did that dozens of times. It's the first time she left me, inside, I don't feel her anymore, I don't want her back, I feel empty, desolate, barren.

Maybe I'm autistic. I don't say I'm not. How is that related? Woman can be with man who are real tyrants, who abuse them, who treat them like dirt. Why can't they bear living with someone they hurt and who needs their help?

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yo that's the most autistic thing I've ever read in my life. But it's alright Sup Forumsro. You can still get a awkward nerdy girl with a tight minge

I've already had that, more than once. I've also had a non-awkward nerdy girl with a tight minge, with which I was married to for two years. I still don't see your point.

Also, if that's the, quote, "most autistic thing [you]'ve ever read in [your] life", then I suppose you started lurking Sup Forums about a week ago?

i wrote this some time ago to somebody who was "still attached" to his gf. For you it's way too early to even think about not being attached, but perhaps it'll help you or somebody else here someday

"The reason why you're still attached to her, is because you dont see her as she is RIGHT NOW (in this very moment), but the way she used to be when you were together and had the "good times".
You have to concentrate on the present, the way your relationship is RIGHT NOW and how you two feel about each other RIGHT NOW.
It hurts to realize that your relationship has changed, but once you do it you realize that there is no point in being attached anymore. You dont love her anymore the way she is RIGHT NOW. So eventually you will move on, but take your time."

i done been here. Are you still fucked up about her leaving?

At this point you should probably just turn to men. A gay man's spectrum of what is attractive to them is much wider than a woman's. You could be the fattest dude on the planet and as long as your hairy youll be considered a bear. You can be skinny little boy and a big strong man will take you and dominate you. You really cant go wrong being a gay man and looking for a partner. There will always be someone for you.

sadly, user, that's not how it is this time.

I'd have wished it was, really. That's how it were with my ex-wife. It's how it were two years ago with C. I've gone over that. This time is different.

I'm not attached to what she *is*. I'm attached to what I've *lost*. I see her, as she is. That only makes it impossible for me to grieve, feel anger or angst. I pity her, but I know I can't help her. Also, I'm in pain, and I know she simply can't help me, even if she wanted to; and she doesn't.

Truest shit. Plus that prostate hands free cumming

Us guys are all bad at math and calculated risks. Women are sneeky... Thats how they get us.

My life got fucked up by her leaving. I'm left with all the issues (job included), all the bills, all the responsibility, all the guilt. She just played the victim game again. I lost, this time completely. I'm not even mad. I don't want to get her back, I don't want to fix anything. I'm just lost and barren.

You know who can help you with that? A big strong gay man.

Why is it so, that I can do my effing calculus, and she can't even manage addition of two numbers of two digits each, and yet she managed to fuck me out of last 5 years of my life, *when I was already 26 and divorced so I should know already how this shit will go*??

these other dudes are honestly right, asp. A dude will support you. They won't be choosy. Anal all the time.

success is the best revenge, and she will try to worm her way back into ur life...Dub that, nope.. Roll for anything other than her. Shes just going to try to finish the job.

You could've theoretically been probably right to some degree. I'm bi, so I considered it for a while. Fun fact: it doesn't work that way; gay man aren't better than women when it comes to relationships. They're as greedy and needy.

At the same time, you lose the quality cuddling and pussy.

You'd need a straight man to actually be of any value.

So you'd need to be a girl.

I'm not a girl.

I'm not LGBTQQTY-whatever-LMNOP-attackhelicopter.

I look like a man.

I usually act like a man.

I'm just broken inside, that's it.

roll that nat 20 and get yourself a nice bear that'll kick her ass

nigga how you act like a man? You walk with a slightly long gait? Slouch a bit? Ain't no such thing as being a man socially. only thing that makes you man is that wang dang doodly dong. Don't matter if you wear a dress

get some ice cream and pick yourself up as soon as you can man

I agree, user, but now I just can't succeed, even if I wanted. I'm broken. I can't even play, can't write, can't compose anymore. I barely can do my job, and I'm all in pain, and all in debts, both emotional and financial? How can I be happy and succeed, if I've lost everything that had value for me, most of it even before she left?

Were you molested as a kid?

Suicide duh

suck some dick for heroine. or just buy heroine. i guess you could do either

>wang dang doodly dong

I manage,
and try to not think about it;
eventually,
I am hoping that I will see
I have moved past it.
When I am with her;
I don't even know her yet.

I usually try to act like a man; I try to be responsible for other people when I have to, and for myself always. I try to help people who need help and can't manage by themselves, and motivate those who can. I stand by my choices. I'm not afraid to take risks and bear the consequences.

>the consequences will never be the same

The Textbook "Man". And you know what?

Fuck it. It doesn't help any. I'm fucking tired with all that. It only makes all the loses seem bigger and the holes seem darker. The more I try, the more I feel failed.

homey you got issues. That's some toxic masculinity all in your mental. clear that shit out. clear out all your social "norms" from your head and live as a fucking person

That's why you need to let a big strong man take care of you. Take a break, you've done all the heavy lifting your whole life. Know let a man with all the necessary muscles do all the lifting.

Need advice on what to do, in a "relationship" with this girl, we hang out and fuck occasionally but she keeps telling me she can't see herself being with me. I'm the addictive type where if I find a girl who cares I focus on them. I hate myself and want to end it to stop the pain that'll come when she leaves but every time I bring it up she guilts me in by saying she loves me and how she depressed and all that. How do I end it?

end it. tf. Don't let manipulative bitches use you, man. You're looking straight down the barrel just waiting for the trigger pull if you don't end it

Tell her to make up her fucking mind. Either she cant see herself being in a relationship with you and thats the end of it, or She loves you and wants to be with you. it cant be both ways and continue being healthy.

Tried that (drug OD, hanging, throwing under a car, chest stabbing). Failed each fucking time. Bring that meme with that fucking kid for me, it's spot-on. Either I'm destined to live, or I'm so fucking loser that I can't even kill myself. Won't try again, sorry, nothing funny in getting a wheelchair for life etc. when you're alone already.

tried morphine. It helps, but I get tolerance really quick, and after 2-3 times the dosages knock me unconscious instead of numbed.

I've been "bullied", in the sense I've been repeatedly beaten etc., for almost 10 years, by both my mother, father, and kids from my hood, until I've learned to hit back. Nobody managed to hit me first again since then. My father stopped when he got a black eye and got his jaw damaged. My mother stopped when I've broken her ribs. I've changed my hood, and started to hit first if I feel endangered. I'm almost 6 feet tall and 200 lbs, so I've had no real problems of the kind with people from "outside world" since then.

Never learned to properly hit back women, though.

I'm not Bridget Jones, ya know.

Maybe. I've dropped the "norms" in the beginning. Learned the "norms" again, when I decided to marry and have a kid. That's how it works. It's hard to be a parent when you're still a kid.

honestly,
this, mate. Been there. You can't win this one. You can still cut your loses. Otherwise you'll end up like me.

it does get lonely too fast, though.

it hasn't even been a day, and I'd give everything to have her back, like a night ago,

although I neither want it nor would it help.

What

I'll probably just dump some old pics and dank memes, until I get 404/pruned, and then I'll lie and wait, until something important happens to me.

do you want to know the story of that pic? I can tell it to you, if you want.

>do you want to know the story of that pic? I can tell it to you, if you want.

this was supposed to go to you, user, sorry for the screwup.

those are dated 2012

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Sure man, i got alot of free time.

I went to her funeral.

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Get over it or don’t, every failure in this world is a failure for one reason or another. If you want to be one of the countless losers that got taken down by love, the world doesn’t give enough of a shit to stop you. If you want to rise and fight against the negative emotions and emerge a better and stronger man, well, I don’t really give a shit, do you?

I bought a plot of land, garden, so that we would have a place to go together, hang out with friends, spend spare summer days.

The garden was kind of abandoned, with tons of old junk laying around. There was this old number plaque in the junk bin behind the house.

I got it out and wanted to fix it, so it'd look like new. It got some rust, so I fixed it with enamel, but it still had to be painted.

And she was a painter, the "real" one (she got MFA in Graphics, but she did a lot of paintings and linocuts in the mean time.

She saw I printed out the stencil and tried to paint it, and she offered to help.

I said "sure, knock yourself out".

She hadn't touched it since.

It was May when she said she'll do it.

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The pic is the stencil itself.

How.

Pray tell, how.

That's all I'm asking.

How can I rise?

I tried literally everything.

Those emotions tore me, broke me, ate me. They did it countless times. I'd gladly be stronger.

How.

Maybe she moved or died.

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No. She left me today, after living with me for all that time, spending every day on whatever shit she thought was important, without any regard to things she said she'll do, without any regard for my stuff, my problem, anything that wasn't directly affecting her.

And now, she just left, without even a note, and after I tried to phone her, she texted me that she went to her family (brother who was in rehab 3 times, father who hit and insulted her, mother and brother repeatedly, and mother who provoked all that shit in the first place) and doesn't want to talk but probably will call me when she wants to take her things.

too tired to keep up the facade at all times

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I'm too tired, won't be able to keep it up much longer.

From one stranger to another, that’s up to you to figure out, plenty of people don’t, and they spend their life wallowing in misery. To be honest with you, I myself have struggled, but it’s impossible for me to give you advice due to everyone’s situation being different. People are habitual creatures, but we are also creatures of change. What I mean by that is that it’s very easy for you to get stuck in a self destructive cycle, but it’s also very possible to break out of it. Very possible, but very difficult. The worst thing that could happen, which happened to me for a while, is when you start to enjoy your own misery. If you are at that point, snap the fuck out of it. Don’t fall into the trap of instant gratification like video games when you are depressed, that could ruin your life. Get out, and fuck up your schedule around, inducing chaos and change to your life is the fastest way to break out of any habitual cycle, anyone else in your life you care about? Mother, sister? Focus on them, focus on kids, animals, helping others. It will bring you joy, once you feel joy, focus on your hobbies. Don’t retreat directly into your hobbies because that could work out negative like I said earlier with the instant gratification. This is about all I or anyone over the internet could do to help you, the rest is all up to you. Good luck stranger, I sincerely hope you overcome this.

I just marked the 10 year anniversary of the day she left in the Fall of 2007. It's been 10 years and I've been keeping busy and following all the advice, going to parties once in a while... I'm sure I will get over her soon and meet the next great love of my life, and that bodes well for you.

I haven't. it's been 5 years and every relationship ive been in feels empty. i see her nearly everyday full of regret and hope one day itll happen again but i know it wont happen so im in a purgatory of a caged depression

Recently had a long term relationship end. Won't pretend I have all the answers; I'm still working through it.
Every day gets easier as you go. Sleep will be hard. Try to keep taking care of yourself.
I started writing down my thoughts and feelings. Forces you to face them. Helps process everything.
Good luck.

I don't enjoy it.

I just don't generally enjoy life, because most things stopped being enjoyable for me long time ago.

I don't have any real schedule to keep. I'm not a creature of habit. I don't have any instant gratification. I don't have any gratification.

I don't really care about nobody, and nobody really cares about me.

My mother treated me like dirt, because he hated my father and herself, and my sister treated me like dirt, because my mother treated her that way, and she was convinced my mother loved me more.

I focus on my plants. I care for them, but I'm too weak to keep it up. They're too dependent on me. I don't feel joy helping them. I just don't want them to suffer for my negligence and shitness.

I think about her all the time. Don't know why, Never felt a strong connection to her during the relationship. Every time i see her i get a weird feeling in my head. Whenever someone brings her up i get it too.
I miss her, a lot.

it's been 9 months and i think about her every single day
i miss you patti

We broke up last friday.

It was a big thing for me, but I feel like she didn't mind it as much. Since then I've been a tad sadder than usual and trying to move on, but it's hard sometimes.

I'm just focusing on keeping my life functioning in a minimum and letting the feel of longing go away.

We were a couple weeks away from moving in together, too. Not sure if that makes everything better or worse.

Sleep was hard already. Now it will be nigh impossible, user. I don't have drugs strong enough to make me fall asleep and not kill me in the process. And I've got a deadline for big IT project in two weeks.

I was supposed to finish it with her.

She has her separate contract, but if (when) she fails to meet the deadline, it's me who'll have to eat the shit.

Last time, every day it got harder, until after a couple of months later I tried to kill myself.

Don't want to go that road ago, really.

that's how my first 5 years after a divorce looked. I managed to cope, just to get hit by the same shit again.

if you're not sarcastic, you're honestly terrifying me.

we lived together for about 4 years.

I'll probably need to redefine "minimum" in context of being functional in my life again. Right now, I can't even get drunk or stoned. I can't do fucking anything.

Well, in your situation, unless you create some hope for yourself, this is the end for you. You’ll probably stagnate and degenerate until you die or choose to end your own life. I hope neither of those are going to be your end, but you’re the one in control.

spend my days in perpetual depression that I never want to get out of, because sadness is the only emotion I feel anymore. Hello fellow tortured souls, misery sure does love company.

How do you create hope?

Hello, fellow soul.
Misery sure does love company.

There’s no formula, but the best advice I could give is to distance yourself from misery. Like this thread, stop actively trying to seek it out, stop trying to find people who understand you, most likely they are just miserable too and you just feed off of each other’s misery. You’re right, “misery loves company.” But if you are aware of it, why the fuck are you still here feeding it?

it's 6 am, the sun is rising, I'm too tired and the pain is too much for me to continue.

Good night all. Hope you won't have to go the road I went.

I wasn't seeking misery. I was seeking company. If you think that not speaking of your misery makes the world better, I'd say you are mistaken.

/afk

>you don't have to be the one to manage when you're the one who leaves her