Text a girl w/ this pic and say

text a girl w/ this pic and say..

"just found this spider in my toilet lol"

ha ha ha is imply u hav large penib h ha aha is funni

sand nigger detected

txt sent waiting for reply

Heya, just wanted to start things off with that's a nice thread concept "Anonymous". My name's Dave, put 'er there, pal! Haha! I'm here to help see if we can't bring out the maximum GAG! potential out of this one. Let's put a spin on the concept and see if we can't come to an agreement about some exciting innovations! That's the power of teamwork and brainstorming, brought to you by Dave. Here's what I suggest!
>hard mode: text it to a girl you have a secret crush on!
>legendary mode: text it to a girl's MOM where you have a secret crush on the girl, but are sending this instead to her mother for the WOW! factor of how unexpected that would be, for both the girl and the mother! An absolute shoe-in for 'getting the girl'. Give it a try!

Friends wife

I'm more concerned that they're missing the toilet seat

thank you for your service

Same. How does someone get to that point in their life? It just breaks and they say fuck it, I don't need a seat? They must still care somewhat since the toilet isn't filthy.

...

JUST DO IT

Some chick

girls love dicks

i was thinking the same thing. primitive living.

She didnt even notice....

...

anyone got the original? without the spider? got a similar idea

>filename
lolwut

...

thanks

She just saw it.... It took her 5 minutes geezz!!

ok? post her response.. jesus

what do you have in mind user?

hes a nigger, i can tell because of his long dick

I know, right?

Haha sorry

Bullshit keep going

Lame ass shit your clearly friend zoned

We are married so ill wear that

i mean nothing special. its just the girl im talking to is scared of spiders. so i feel like it'd ruin something thats supposed to be funny if she just gets terrified

And the thing is that the person still needs to shit. I understand that pissing while standing up is the norm in general, but they still need to take dumps! Unless they AC-130 them like JDAMs on Afganistan, then they still nees the seat

She is a Star War

Fuck

Follow up. She is negging you. She wants it.

Thank you for this, friend.

Ik shes seen if before
Star crosses lovers

Photoshop the spider on top of your dick. Tell her that the only way to avoid dying is to have someone else suck your dick.
And then actually have a spider inject poison into your dick so it will be realistic... and will potentially kill her

Sean?

“Nah, it’s not. My dicks bigger”

wtf yeah. last initial w. who's this?

She handled my dick she know it isnt

show me her feet

Nice coincidence. Wrong last name.

Showed this shit to my gf.
Now she says she wish she had something that big.
Fucken thanks OP

Nah dude. That is your friend's wife or what ever.
She reversed imaged the cock spider you sent her and now she knows you are a Sup Forums faggot.
She's not telling you so you don't murder her in her sleep. You stupid cuck.

Normies dont know about reverse image search tbh

It's 2017, there are more computer savy normies than Sup Forums browsing autists TBH

your fault retard.

>there are more computer savy normies
AHAHAHAHAHAH!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
"Someone" hasnt left his basement in a while.
:^)

Multiple toilets available, procrastinating on replacement and only use that one for pissing?

Time to get a new gf user. You'll remember my words if you don't break up with her, she sounds like a total bitch for just making that statement. If anything, thank OP for showing you what kind of whore she is.

Remember my words: SHE'S NOT WORTH. DUMP THAT BITCH.

You sound like you haven't left your mother's sight in a while. I forgot how it felt to be 12. Enjoy it while it lasts, little nigglet.

underrated

If this is real dump the whore

had a friend like that, nothing was ever official but ended up a hit and quit it pretty much total hoe (bragged about it) but hey fucked and I'll graduate a non virgin

>You sound like you haven't left your mother's sight in a while.
D-did you just "no u" me?
>12yo
>nigglet
mhhh... ive seen this attack pattern before, i shall emulate it:
LOLMAO i fucked you crackwhore mom yesterday, youre fucking poor, im gonna go fuck my super hot qt gf you dont have, shiteating fagnigger
>getrekt.

newfag detected

wtf

i don't know why but it gets better every time it loops

user leave her ass but she could also just be being a smartass too and joking around but if shit goes south start working out it'll release endorphin and make you feel good I usually live a sad lonely ass life and I usually do 50 pushups before bed and go to bed a happy mother fucker

...

satanic trips dont lie
you gotta do 50 pushups or youll go to hell, confirmed.

fucking kek

oh shit I got satan trips well I've had more trips than girl friends so I got that going for me...

>working out before going to bed
Sounds like a great way to get insomnia.

I strongly disagree.

your experience of the population at large is primarily defined by the traits you observe of other humans online, so the results are already skewed.

people don't even know how to tell if emails are legit, or even remember what companies they have legit business with.

I'm going Air Force after HS so I usually drink some protein powder and just do like 50 pushups in a slower fashion to 1) break down muscle so they build up stronger 2) increase the pushup count cause red phase gonna be a shit load of pushups 3) it makes me tired and I sleep well and 4) if I wanted to get tired I'd drink some alcohol (gotta get my mom to buy me my rum first...)

cucked by a picture of a shadow. how low (in luminosity) can you go, sir Issac lame-ton

this thread

>
>I'm going Air Force after HS so I usually drink some protein powder

aka sucking off a dude

either work your way to the top or suck it to the top which ones easier bud?

What did you say about me you little bitch?
Ill have you know i graduated top of my class...

at dick sucking school? congrats!

were you the valedicksuckian of your class? did you graduate magna cum onmyface?

Sith scum

No cool chicks to send too cuz I'm married, but my buddies responses gave me a chubby

I dont want her thinking its small though

This thread is a trap

muh dick

How do I get friends like this

all deez chicks want da D

Texts seem funny wish i had frens to send it

^

You can send it to me user, I'll be your friend.

>do u ever send normal pics
Literally my life

...

rip

This is embarrassing the ratio of content/messages being exchanged

Weak

Haha!

if that was ur dick I feel sorry for the girl

How do you take a shit on that toilet?

>All the retards sending this picture to chicks who know the size of their dick
The point is to get you laid instead of spayed

>tfw no spider gf to stick ovipositor in my dickhole

asking the real questions.

nah opposite ... you have insomnia then exercise tires you out

I think this is something for hyperactive people ... you do a burst of pushups and all of a sudden you dont want to move at all you just want to lie there and catch your breath ... then sleep

you force yourself to be physically tired and it seem to turn into a general rest

this thread is very funny

Lol

Denied in 3.....2.....1

top kei