Time for some secrets thread! Go ahead and share your most fucked up moments

Time for some secrets thread! Go ahead and share your most fucked up moments.

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we ha sec all ve rets

pretty accurate

What kind of smelly cunt writes in a book like that?

The holocaust never happened.

kek i read it like that as well

thats a fact user

im stealing money from work, small amouts of course

idk

Nice try FBI

bUmp

My secret is that many years ago I was the one who glued the gym teachers shoes to the floor during a lesson.

I also glued up all the locks to every classroom that day while everyone was in lessons

I also once put a dog shit in a bag and put the bag in the teachers desk drawer

I hate my, life I am saving to buy a revolver and end my suffering once and for all but in the meantime I am the happiest man in the world in front of others, how much I envy them guys I would like to have half of what they have to start again, but I see that many can not appreciate ...

are you sure you want to do that?

Once, I killed an opossum with a baseball bat.

about 10 years ago had to babysit my sister.
She had a friend spend the night
The friend was precocious (~5'9")
ended up drugging them with my mom's sleeping pills
got carried away rubbing against her puss and got some goo inside her

Few months later find out she is preggo.

Her dad ends up going to jail

So we met a guy in a swingers bar.

I let a guy cuck me and my girlfriend in exchange for £20k. We needed the money as a house repayment. He got to have her once a week for 6 months, I had to watch and sometimes join in. Never rhad to do any gay/bi stuff which is good. I was only allowed to fuck her when and how he said for that 6 months though.

He never used a condom. And he was black. She's not pregnant, it's over now and we have our house so I guess it's all good.

i still havent killed myself, because i am a pathetic coward, despite how shitty my life is

Got railed by my uncle for 4 years while my parents were alternately in and out of jail/rehab. Pregnant at 15. Had an abortion. Haven't had a proper relationship since.

I'am an undercover cop.

Damaged much? Any odd fetishes as a result?

Did you like it?

Did he got in jail?
Did your parents knew?

I'm so sorry. Let me fix all your problems.

Yeah, right.

Nothing too odd. Got trust issues though. Occasionally but not always.
They didn't know about the pregnancy, and they didn't believe or didn't want to believe the rest. He never went to jail.

I keep thinking I have a chance with a woman that I'll never have a chance with

Was he disgusting looking like all pedos?

Yeah, pretty much.

How old are you now?

21. (22 in a week..)

I wish you'd kept that as a secret, really.

>Got trust issues though.

How does that manifest itself?

I voted for Trump. Feels bad man.

Constantly doubt people's intentions. Can't really deal with people being nice to me which makes me seem cold. Self doubt. Wouldn't class myself as a basket case though.

I drugged and fucked a co worker at the mid year employee party. She was drinking heavily so i thought fuck it. This was a Friday night, i spent all weekend afraid I would be arrested on Monday, but when i saw her she apologized and thanked me for looking after her and taking her home that night. I have done it twice since. She is a raging drunk so I get to fuck her every few months, no condom and drop load deep inside her.
I love that i fuck her and go home to wife and children.

I'm obsessed with my GF's fat sister. I don't even like her, I just really want to fuck her, and think about it to an unhealthy degree.
Pic related is her body type.

It's fun to pretend.

I am somewhat of a half god. Unfortunately I abandoned my responsibilities to come here and relax. Everyday that goes by I can feel the world slipping further into madness do to the huge imbalance back “home”. It pains me to see the world in the state I have left it in but, I feel as though I am not ready yet. I don’t know what to do...

This is why these threads are shite.

I really hope you change your mind. Things can get better.

How does it feel when you see yourself in a mirror?

How many hits did it take?

Happy birthday!

youtube.com/watch?v=VsMcdEswK8k

Five hits.

Thanks.
Kek

Sounds about right they are pretty fast when cornered. never as easy to land a clean hit as you think its going to be

My second one stunned it, and I was able to crush it's skull. The last hit was just for fun. By the way, Opossums are nasty.

Agreed they freeze when you shine a flashlight on them then you just have to aim for the reflecting eyes.

I'm glad things worked out, user but jeez. 20k to cuck you for 6 months? I don't think that's worth it for either of you.

When I was a kid me and my friends egged a house for no particular reasons. The owner caught up with us and managed to grab me. I screamed for help and attracted the attention of a drunk group of teens who proceded to beat up the man after he didn't immediately let go of me when they demanded it. I managed to get away and later learned that my saviours were arrested.

>He never used a condom. And he was black. She's not pregnant, it's over now and we have our house so I guess it's all good.
Nah, it isn't good, you're a faggot cuck.

I used to be a stripper and sell my self for drugs. One of my client was a family member

Freaked out on meth and was going to kill my girlfriend in her sleep. Lucky I never did it. Already have a felony and live with her so I'd be the first suspect.

Sucked off the local dog catcher for a year. Was basically. His on demand cock sucker.

I mean ok, but how does his profession enter into it? was he catching a dog and you were like I'm gonna suck that dude's dick

and his wife probably has lost all respect for him

All day drinking sesh with some bros. Things got weird. Stupid roughhousing. One guy gets his penis out, another pretends to lick it. Everyone laughs. I'm in the closet and its the hottest thing I've seen but I act all cool. Things move on and we get into a truth or dare situation. My turn, I'm 'forced' to get on my knees in front of a friend. Act all grossed out but secretly I'm so hot inside. Have to suck him for a full minute. I do the deed but pretend to hate it. He gets hard. Everyone laughs. Its common knowledge among my friends and even my current gf knows. No ones bothered, we were just bros being dicks

Tldr had my first gay experience in the back yard with my best friends cheering me on

One of a few of the pics

I pooped my pants in elementary school and threw my underwear in the trash.

Can confirm me and long term S.O. did a cuck thing and ruined the relationship.

get on my level faggot, for M Bison that was a Tuesday

That's nothing I did that last week. Drunk and stoned out clubbing.

I have masturbated next to my friends while they were sleeping. And felt them up while they were sleeping.

No one should sleep in a bed with me if they think ill be platonic.

bullshit. you know damn well you dont have any friends.

they knew they were just to scared to leave and make a scene. you second rate sexual predictor

feelsbadman.jpg

Basically. He was chasing a weiner dog around and I was like what if that was me sucking his dick.

Im pretty good at predicting sex, yes.

My roommate forced me to give him a blow job while drunk because he caught me watching sissy porn.

Fuck you Hercules

Lol I meant predator. you cunt

refreshingly honest, you cocksucker. I approve.

What drug did you use?

Shoplifted groceries for about 12 months.
Got caught 3 times.
Held by security all 3 times.
Went to police holding cell once.
Went to court once.
>mfw not in a proper first world country

I masturbate to the memory of how spinal taps feel now that I don't need them any more.

sometimes i bump threads

jews.

I am the British serial cat killer

So was he the one that got you pregnant?

Got a spinal tab on the minimal legal amount of analgesics.
Not a good feel.

>Posted an ex the other day in a state thread
>she was recognized
>freak out and delete
>regret deleting
>FML

Wouldn't surprise me. If you are, stop it.

Yep.

I lost my virginity to a whore in Peru.

not really a secret but last weekend my gf taught my 10yo niece how to shave her legs and pussy, I casually watched some of it.

good work

bumpz

Id like to know how he told you to fuck her

I fucked my cousin when I was 13 - she was 21
>1st time for both of us
>we don't talk about it

nice

>21
was she a whale or potato or something? or who raped who?

I'm an attorney.

Been practicing for a few years.

Half of my friends (or their family members) have come to me looking for advice or dealing with messed up shit.

I've learned that half my friends are complete cunts, and I've slowly withdrawn from most of them. It doesn't bother me that they've done fucked up stuff or been in fucked up situations, but the fact that act like they've got their shit together is what gets me.

Got divorced 3 years ago. I immediately started a 3-year painkiller habit, to suppress the depression I was left with. I blew $100,000 over those 3-years. I also lost my freelance business, worth $150,000 a year.

Had to move in with my parents. I can't find the motivation to find a shit job. I borrow $1300 from my folks every month. My creditors call 5-6 times a day.

I had to dump my girlfriend, whom I loved SO much.....because she turned out to be a habitual/compulsive liar.

Today, a few hours ago, I received a $24,900 tax bill from the IRS - from the year I divorced.

I've been high on cocaine for 4-5 days per week for the last 2 months. I stay up for 2-3 days, and my parents don't realize. I have not relapsed on painkillers, but I fear the coke may present an option for addiction.

I’m 37 years old

dam son

Yeah. It’s been a rough few years. I’m gonna stop the coke, though. It’s just such a ridiculous waste of time/money/health/etc

You'll pull through. Get your shit together, you'll feel much better when you do, though it sounds like it'll be a long, slow process.

Anyway. I used to shit next to the toilet in primary school. I don't even know why, I just used to scoot to the side after I sat down and push one out right onto the floor. Then I'd look at it and walk away. I remember a teacher asking my whole class about it one day. I'm pretty sure the bitch knew it was me.

Thanks, user. I appreciate the encouragement.

Now get back to shitting outside!

I'm starting to have problems seperating thought from reality sometimes

Aaaagh my gawd this was literally me a couple years ago minus quite so much cocaine. Lost everything. I'm 37 also now. Still with the folks but I've got my shit together and things are looking up. You have to remember that no situation is permanent and keep plugging away. But believe me, I know how you're feeling, and it's hard.