ITT: We describe movies badly and others guess what they are

ITT: We describe movies badly and others guess what they are.

Volume V

>It's not polite to spy on people
>Go to your room
>Don't to that, she's your daughter!
>Now what do you have to say for yourself? What was that? I can't hear you.

Unsolved mysteries

>Zed's not dead, honey
>In fact, he smokes crack with Sam Harris in a skyscraper
>Andy Dick cries on a talk show next to Sam
>Did I mention Sam is married to a fembot?
>Based on a true story!

>Batman snorts coke
>Gets HIV off camera
>Brutally murders a bunch of people
>Based on a true story
>Probably not the Batman you're thinking of

>People sit around talking about stuff in a bathroom for two hours
>That's more or less the entire movie
>We never learn who these people are and we don't want to know by the time it's over
>Not Saw

>A man is really upset that someone else is consuming his dairy beverage.

>urgent mission is taken on
>bald guy dies
>his daughter puts out

>"I would have thought it was Clemenza"

harriot the spy

There Will Be Blood

The Godfather?

I'm reading the book just now.


>guys gf dies
>still visits family
>sike she’s not dead anymore she’s undead
>happy again
>more zombies appear and gf goes insane
>gun happy criminal minds guy whohappens to be guys brother makes resistance group
>kills gf



>Aaah, a penis!

>Man with posh English accent wears his hair in a pony tail
>Someone gets stabbed with an unusual object
>Annoying ginger girl has bad credit
>But here's some salt water

Describes two very different movies released within one year of one another. One literally, one figuratively. List both if you're the fucking man.

Can't believe no one has even guessed at the first in all this time. I bet you'll get it if you read the description backwards.

>What happened to the power?
>What happened to Dad?
>What happened to not being raped?
>Fuck trees.

>Bald guy goes off his meds, almost nuclear meltdown, dead girlfriend, race car, midgets everywhere, oh look a sunset

Office taken over by terrorists.
Made before terrorists were automatically sand niggers.

too easy huh?

>A disabled man and a woman that only looks disabled fight to make the world a little less dark.

The Louis C.K. Story.

Louis dindo nuffin.

>easter is fucking ruined
>what a waste of hamburgers

nobody got it in last thread

>kid sees things nobody else can
>is deemed lucky by local organization
>"it could happen"

No, it's not the Sixth Sense

The one eyed monster?

>die like a cuck police officer
>ghost like a cuck police officer

Odd thomas


Angels in the outfield

>Be me, strong, silent type with a tender heart from the wrong side of the tracks
>My oneitis gets attacked by a pack of niggers one night and I fight them off
>But there's this faggot who looks like a dark haired Fabio who wants to fucking stab me!
>And he's really good at juggling

3rd one is a kevin smith movie?

28 Days Later, from the girl's perspective.


Donnie darko?

>drunk goes to new country
>goes native
>death all around
New clue swords and armor




Godzilla (the one with Matthew Broderick)

The Last Samurai

If that accurately describes a Kevin Smith movie, it is not one I have seen.

>too easy huh?
Nah, dude. I'm just good at this game.

The Last Samurai

Selma Hayek is the sexiest bearded lady you'll ever see.




I don't think anyone else actually saw this movie so here's another hint

You're forgetting Rebecca Romijn.

>An everyday toiletry is wielded with brutal effectiveness as a devastating weapon
>Thor has had enough of your shit
>And now you're fucking dead, old man
>But so is he
>Probably not the Thor you're thinking of


Gunplay, vampires, twins, trains, sunglasses.

radiation threat? nuclear waste being shipped in? it's disappeared? radiation threat, but it's not from nuclear waste. oh shit.

> if it only weighs a couple of thousand tons, why does it have a gravitational attraction strong enough to crush people to pulp?

>2 males and 1 female get lost
>hijinx ensue
>go home

#2 Wonderland??

>young male doesn't feel like he belongs
>separated by a flood
>hair pulling
>disgusting conditions portrayed as good

Homeward Bound

>man and his co-workers are betrayed by their boss
>seeks revenge
>is hunted by government
>The Mount Everest of hacks

All unsolved

>a man struggles between a thankless job and his seventeen year old infected daughter.
>free at last
>don't pay up, get cut

>mentally deficient men redefine family
>nachos and lemonheads

>yellow inbreds murder hotties
>Christmas cookies
>my brother's my daddy

Cirque Du Freak

Stir of Echoes

Y Tu Mamá También

Possibly not your movie, but it certainly fits.

>piss of morgan freeman
>become god
>give morgan freeman his job back

Ding ding ding!

Bruce Almighty

that is a book series silly they never made a movie of it.

Bruce/Evan Almighty



The Crying Game

yup that was an easy one

Bruce almighty

two is American Psycho

>Cirque Du Freak
A feature film adaption of the novel, directed by Paul Weitz and starring Chris Massoglia, John C. Reilly, Ken Watanabe, Josh Hutcherson and Willem Dafoe was released on October 23, 2009.[1]

>almost drowns baby
>wife mad at him because he's crazy
>more genius

Yup. Shit movie.


Blair Wrench Project


what do you mean he gets HIV off camera?

a beautiful mind

They made one
It was named after the first book. "The Vampire's Assistant"


You think American Psycho was a true story? Really?

But hey, check 'em, newfriend.


Bubble Boy's sister is a crazy slut.

It sucked, but it happened user
Just like the last airbender

>futuristic pyramid

is that a yes?


>Niggers being niggers in niggertown
>Steals camera from white people
>Steals cocaine from other group of niggers
>Gets gf preg
>goes to jail
>has kid
>Gets out
>Steals more cocaine
>tour of niggertown
>Niggers continue being niggers
>True story

And then?
And then?

what do you mean what about last airbender?

I mean John Holmes, the porn star and suspected murderer played by Batman (Val Kilmer), died of AIDS. But not before he took part in the Wonderland Murders, which is what the movie was named after.

By the way, the movie was already solved. It was Wonderland.

Maybe I should clue you in as well.

>fuck that whore

lmao i dont know this movie but i have to see this reality show

New Jack City?

I've never watched a movie with niggers, so I'm just guessing.

>ghost std

snow on tha bluff?

Rain Man?




Nigger you know what about it, that movie was shittier than a street in India