Alright faggots.
**ASK A PLUMBER ANYTHING**
If you ask the right question you may get some very interesting greentexts.
If you ask a new question you will get new greentexts. (You know.... O.C. That one thing the board is lacking)
Also general plumbing advice.
If you appreciated the advice you were given, reward me with tits.
I like tits.
Been to any houses, you regret ever going to?
why do you charge so much to replace a p trap
electrician here, ama
What can I do to fix my toolet that is clogged with Andy sixx size logs???
Son, get comfy.
>Working for small business.
>Boss phones up one day "Got a job for you user"
>"No worries, what's the address?"
>Boss gives address
>Now just letting you know user, this guy may be a little... strange..
>"....ok"
>Rock up to house.
>Walking up driveway.
>Little pieces of paper all up driveway.
>Huh.... they look like toilet paper.
>Keep walking.
>Further up driveway. More pieces of paper.
>Brown stains.
>That *IS* toilet paper.
>MFW it's not wet, and it's not from a sewer overflow.
>Wtf.hat?
>Alright, let's see what i'm up against.
>Alpha chin on.
>Walk up to door, knock.
>Door opens, man is standing behind wire door.
>6'2 hulking fat hairy greek man.
>Completely butt fucking naked.
>Gigantic flaccid cock in full view.
>What the flying fuck.
>"WHAD YU WAN?"
>Uh... I'm the fuckin' plumber.
>Giant naked hairy greek bastard grunts.
>Hang on a sec.
>Walks into next room.
>No worries, must be going to chuck some clothes on.
>Walks back out, opens door again.
>Still butt fucking naked.
>"Alright come in..."
>Herewefuckinggo.avi
Cont.
Callout plus parts.
Which way does shit flow?
When is payday?
Most hair you've pulled from a drain?
>Fat greek bastard starts walking inside house.
>You know what, I'm behind him, he can't fucking trap me here.
>I'm gonna go have a fucking look.
>Step inside house.
>Place is a fucking pigsty.
>Newspapers stacked almost as high as my head.
>Canned food stacked up everywhere.
>Weirdest part of all.
>100's of tubs of vaseline.
>Like fucking HUNDREDS.
>All stacked up next to the newspapers and canned foods.
>Half of them have the lids off and are fucking empty.
>What the flying fuck???
>Wade past all this rubbish to his bathroom. He walks inside it.
>Bathroom is small bathroom.
>One bath.
>One sink.
>All of it, ENTIRELY
>let me be clear about this anons
>ENTIRELY SPLATTERED....
>WITH SHIT COVERED TOILET PAPER.
>It's like nothing I've ever seen.
>We're not talking like a few dalmation spots here and there.
>We're talking like massive lumps and chunks and everything.
>EVERY FUCKING WHERE.
Cont.
Downhill.
I dunno, like a lump you could wrap your fist around.
Oh look, a newfag.
>So fat greek bastard waddles into his shitty toilet paper covered bathroom.
>Ohgodthesmell.choke
>He walks up to the cupboard.
>Opens the cupboard door
>Turns on the tap.
>And points at the cupboard.
>"See?"
>....no....
>"See?? See?"
>No mate I don't see, what's the fucking problem?
>"Is leaking! See?"
>Mate, you're going to have to get out of the fucking way.
>He walks out, and into the kitchen.
>Stupidly I walk into that festering bathroom.
>Sure enough water is pissing out into the basin cupboard while the tap is running.
>"See? See?" He asks?
>Right now, I realise, he's right behind me.
>I'm trapped in a shitstained bathroom, with a naked fat greek man and several half used tubs of vaseline.
>"That's it I'm getting the fuck out of here".
>"But you not fix problem"
>He's not moving.
cont
>Fat naked greek man still not moving.
>Aussie masterrace, mind like a steel trap.
>"Of course I haven't fixed the fucking problem, I've gotta go get my fucking tools out of the car mate."
>Stares at me angrily.
>Shit's about to get real.
>"Mate, I need you to get out of my way, so I can get my tools, and get it fixed."
>Fat naked greek continues to stare.
>Prepare to punch his stupid hairy fucking face in and be wrestled to the shit covered ground.
>Hairy behemoth Grunts.
>Gets out of way.
>I start walking out of the house.
>He follows.
>I walk to my car.
>He follows.
>I get in my car and lock the fucking doors.
>He is standing at the window just staring at me.
>In middle of street.
>Still butt fucking naked.
>"Where you going? You fix! You fix!"
>"Hang on mate"
>"No! You fix, you fix!"
>"HANG ON MATE".
>Phone boss
>"Who the fuck sent this job, is this a fucking joke?"
>"What do you mean?"
>"Dude, this guy is fucked UP, who phoned this IN???"
>"Hang on, I'll give you the number of the guy's social worker.
>......
>Fucking SOCIAL WORKER?????
>Tell boss "I'll call you back...." through gritted teeth.
Cont
>Phone social worker.
>"Dude, I can't fix this fucking job! What the fuck is with this guy?"
>"Yes sorry user, unfortunately there's not enough mental health facilities available, so they have to put this guy in a commission house for now"
>"Mate! He's more fucking worried about a water leak under a fucking sink, than the BIG STEAMING PILES OF SHITTY WALLPAPER ALL OVER HIS WALLS!!!"
>Yeah, I know, the place is disgusting, I'm sorry about that...
>..... Mindsnap
>"YOU FUCKING ***KNEW*** THE HOUSE WAS LIKE THIS BEFORE YOU FUCKING ***SENT*** ME THERE???
>"Yeah... look... sorry... seemed like an emergency... thought we might have to get it fixed..."
>...double mind snap..
>"SO EVEN FUCKING YOU!!! WHO I ASSUME IS ***NOT*** A GIGANTIC CRAZED FREAK, SEEMS TO THINK A FUCKING LEAK.... IN A FUCKING CUPBOARD... IS MORE FUCKING IMPORTANT.... THAN CLEANING SHIT OFF ***FUCKING...... WALLS***????????
>"........................uh.......yeah... look... again sorry for that.."
>breathed in as deep as I could
>yelled as loud as i could
>FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKK YYYYYYYOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!
>Hung up.
>Fat naked greek guy taps on window again.
>"You fix?"
>FFFFFFUUUUUCCCCKKK OFFFFF!!!!!!
>Started engine.
>Hightailed it the fuck out of there leaving fat naked greek man standing fat and naked in middle of road.
>Drove to nearest KFC.
>Vomited my fucking guts up.
>Phoned boss, explained story.
>Boss laughed his guts up.
>Abused the cunt out of him.
>Took the rest of the day off and drank myself silly.
Didn't fucking rock up to work the next day either. The boss did not complain.
Naturally my return to work was met by a lot of cheesy bastard grins by all the boys, and the usual rounds of ribbings.
Bastards.
As a carpenter that has fucked up some plumbing on accident ( Broken hot water pipe left un attended for 2 hours) I hate and love you. Good luck with your trade sir.
Oh, and payday's thursday.
Glad to see a fellow KBW fan. ;)
Most foul, wretched, putrid stench you've ever had the misfortune of inhaling?
Yeah, I understand the frustration of a lot of carpenters who've accidentally ran nails through pipes. I get it.
You should learn to repair them yourself bro, save yourself the hassle of calling a plumber, or getting ribbed by one.
I got a lot of respect for you bastards. I could never in my life work the precision you blokes work. Bravo.
The pit of a thousand arseholes.
It was the place I was living at. Me, my best mate, his old man, his younger brother, the middle sister, and the middle sister's daughter.
Sewer blocked up, only access point was under the house.
Literally stank of 1000 scratched arseholes.
And I had to go under the house to fix it. :P
b-but you fix?
Did you literally type out a stutter?
Kid, come back when you've grown a pube.
And I don't mean the one you piss out of either, junior.
What is the most effective strategy when you want to stomp goombas?
What's the weirdest problem you've ever had to fix?
Good thread, m8. Keep the stories coming
hahah i thought someone was gonna get stabbed with some tools in this story
Hold B, run, press A, land on top of them.
> Work at hospital.
> Called in to Intensive Care Unit.
> Blockage in toilet Plum/b/user.
> Walk in.
> Turd looks like it's fresh from an elephant's arsehole.
> Literally the size of two coke cans stacked up.
> Could not flush it, water went past and it didn't move.
> Tried to move it with brush, just stuck to the fucking thing.
> Threw brush in bin, started breaking it up with a steel pipe.
> Still took a number of flushes.
> Stank like hell.
> Mate who worked with me ran around telling people about it.
> Funny bastard.
> Was literally telling people...
>"Yeah, was HUGE!!! He had to break out the JACKHAMMER to bust it down."
> Bloke was a legend. ;)
why didnt you do water reticulation that way you could have worked or the whole system and wouldnt have to learn the whole building code and gt to work on bigger pipes also way better job for not much less im guessing you will have a great answer but i have done both plumbing sucks
What's the biggest or most interesting fuck up you've seen?
Same story as the last thread...? Real plum/b/ user or copypasta user ?
Yeah, got trained in maintenance. It suited me anyways because precision is not my game.
Real plum/b/user.
I save my copypasta.
If people ask new questions I post fresh pasta and then save it.
People rarely ask new questions.
>reticulation is where its at loads of fun way bigger pipes
also what part of world you in
Dunno what reticulation is, unless you mean running mains pipes, in which case fuck that.
Have worked on steam, mate, tell you what, steam is a fascinating beast.
I'm in Ausfaglia.
What happened to lil peep?
She lost her sheep.
...
What country?
Ausfaglia.
That translates to "Australia" for newfags.
Nice, I just started my plumbing apprenticeship a few months ago.
Nice one mate. Which branch of plumbing are you doing?
you ever show your junk to a bunch of kids?
Industrial, commercial and
residential plumbing. The company does everything.
Any other good OC OP?
would you ever take on a 30 year old apprentice?
Not sure....
But thanks for the oc question.
New greentext.
> Be me.
> Called out to public park.
> Whole area flooded.
> Searching for cause of flood.
> Locate drinking fountain stand.
> Some dickhead has obviously kicked it over breaking it.
> Pick it up, deciding what to do next.
> Sharp pain in leg.
> WTF?
> Sharp pains start shooting all over legs everywhere.
> Smacking at legs, not fixing issue.
> Too much pain, realise I'm getting bitten.
> Giant black ants crawling all over pants.
> Start running towards, car, remove overalls.
> Throw overalls on ground.
> Bitten on dick.
> TWICE
> Remove boxer shorts, slap all ants off my now completely naked body.
> Run to car.
> Just as busload of school kids rolls up.
> Not sure if they saw me or not.
To be fair, they all kinda piled off and went around doing schoolkid things, while I frantically grabbed my spare clothes from the back seat and chucked them on, so I'm pretty sure they didn't see me starkers, but god, even proving the fucking stings wouldn't have got me out of trouble for that one.
Take one of them on over a kid any day.
30 year old has experienced life, isn't going to be a smart arse, and is less likely to roll up hungover.
Will also be more likely to listen when you tell them something.
Checked.
Ask specific questions, receive specific greentext.
thanks, i'll see you monday morning then.
Be here at 7.
How do I apprentice, and can a fat man do this job?
I was 120kg when I started the apprenticeship, so yes a fat man can do the job, but the more weight you lose, the easier you'll find it.
i think you have to go to trade school first
Thanks. I'm 195kg right now.
Lol, you ain't even getting out of bed at that weight, troll.
whats the best way to fix a leaking pipe? It is a toilet intake pipe and it appears to have a small crack as it is very slowly seeping out water. I have checked that it is not coming from the seal in the cistern and it is definitely the pipe itself about midway. Don't have full access to the pipe or I would have just bought a new piece and fitted it. Is there anything I can use (tape, silicon, sealant) etc, etc to fix this without it costing me a fortune?
Photo please.
It's only 430 pounds, and I'm pretty spry for a fay guy.
is stealing copper pipes a worthwhile investment of time? is it better to sell as scrap metal or to a dodgy plumber?
>Fay guy
I will now leave in shame.
Dunno what it's like where you live, but in ausfaglia they take your license details whenever you hand in scrap, so if there's a suspicious theft, the first place the cops look is the scrap yard.
"plumber" is an American word for "Scam Artist". They have formed a rock solid collusion ring, affectionately known as a "union", whereby they are able to charge exorbitant prices for the most basic work.
That being said, any of you youngfags who would like a nice comfy career - plumber is it.
Worming hard or hardly workin OP
Spoken like a liberal fag who's never gotten his hands dirty in his fucking life.
You don't like unions? Alright.
Stop taking holidays. Work weekends, and work 16 hours a fucking day faggot.
Because all of those things were brought to you by unions, so if you don't think unions are any good, give up all your entitlements and work harder for less money, pig.
how many papers have you published?
Hardly any plumbing work atm so taking up other jobs on the side at a cheaper rate, easy work but longer hours and less pay.
There's a few places out there that don't require an ABN. Just gotta ask around.
Best way to get an apprenticeship on a union site?
About 10k shit tickets per roll.
Never been asked for an ABN, only for my license.
Walk up to the gate and ask who the plumbing company is that works there, then contact them direct.
Im about as conservative as you get on Sup Forums. I don't like inflated prices brought to you by unions/cartels
Its not 1910 anymore - get over the Union shit dude.
I hole-hardedly agree, but allow me to play doubles advocate here for a moment. For all intensive purposes I think you are wrong. In an age where false morals are a diamond dozen, true virtues are a blessing in the skies. We often put our false morality on a petal stool like a bunch of pre-Madonnas, but you all seem to be taking something very valuable for granite. So I ask of you to mustard up all the strength you can because it is a doggy dog world out there. Although there is some merit to what you are saying it seems like you have a huge ship on your shoulder. In your argument you seem to throw everything in but the kids Nsync, and even though you are having a feel day with this I am here to bring you back into reality. I have a sick sense when it comes to these types of things. It is almost spooky, because I cannot turn a blonde eye to these glaring flaws in your rhetoric. I have zero taller ants when it comes to people spouting out hate in the name of moral righteousness. You just need to remember what comes around is all around, and when supply and command fails you will be the first to go. Make my words, when you get down to brass stacks it doesn't take rocket appliances to get two birds stoned at once. It's clear who makes the pants in this relationship, and sometimes you just have to swallow your prize and accept the facts. You might have to come to this conclusion through denial and error but I swear on my mother's mating name that when you put the petal to the medal you will pass with flying carpets like it’s a peach of cake.
fuck plumbers. fucking uneducated lazy dipshites who make $100K/yr
I hole-hardedly agree, but allow me to play doubles advocate here for a moment. For all intensive purposes I think you are wrong. In an age where false morals are a diamond dozen, true virtues are a blessing in the skies. We often put our false morality on a petal stool like a bunch of pre-Madonnas, but you all seem to be taking something very valuable for granite. So I ask of you to mustard up all the strength you can because it is a doggy dog world out there. Although there is some merit to what you are saying it seems like you have a huge ship on your shoulder. In your argument you seem to throw everything in but the kids Nsync, and even though you are having a feel day with this I am here to bring you back into reality. I have a sick sense when it comes to these types of things. It is almost spooky, because I cannot turn a blonde eye to these glaring flaws in your rhetoric. I have zero taller ants when it comes to people spouting out hate in the name of moral righteousness. You just need to remember what comes around is all around, and when supply and command fails you will be the first to go. Make my words, when you get down to brass stacks it doesn't take rocket appliances to get two birds stoned at once. It's clear who makes the pants in this relationship, and sometimes you just have to swallow your prize and accept the facts. You might have to come to this conclusion through denial and error but I swear on my mother's mating name that when you put the petal to the medal you will pass with flying carpets like it’s a peach of cake.
electricians dont make that much
I hole-hardedly agree, but allow me to play doubles advocate here for a moment. For all intensive purposes I think you are wrong. In an age where false morals are a diamond dozen, true virtues are a blessing in the skies. We often put our false morality on a petal stool like a bunch of pre-Madonnas, but you all seem to be taking something very valuable for granite. So I ask of you to mustard up all the strength you can because it is a doggy dog world out there. Although there is some merit to what you are saying it seems like you have a huge ship on your shoulder. In your argument you seem to throw everything in but the kids Nsync, and even though you are having a feel day with this I am here to bring you back into reality. I have a sick sense when it comes to these types of things. It is almost spooky, because I cannot turn a blonde eye to these glaring flaws in your rhetoric. I have zero taller ants when it comes to people spouting out hate in the name of moral righteousness. You just need to remember what comes around is all around, and when supply and command fails you will be the first to go. Make my words, when you get down to brass stacks it doesn't take rocket appliances to get two birds stoned at once. It's clear who makes the pants in this relationship, and sometimes you just have to swallow your prize and accept the facts. You might have to come to this conclusion through denial and error but I swear on my mother's mating name that when you put the petal to the medal you will pass with flying carpets like it’s a peach of cake.
Once again, if you think unions are a detriment to society, give up your weekends, give up your holidays, give up your overtime, and give up your 8 hour working day, and go back to working 16 hours a day for a pittance for the "betterment of your country".
Unions simply give people what they deserve. If you don't deserve a fair rate, then work longer hours for less money with zero benefits, and really show those union cartels who's boss!
Painters dont make that much
I hole-hardedly agree, but allow me to play doubles advocate here for a moment. For all intensive purposes I think you are wrong. In an age where false morals are a diamond dozen, true virtues are a blessing in the skies. We often put our false morality on a petal stool like a bunch of pre-Madonnas, but you all seem to be taking something very valuable for granite. So I ask of you to mustard up all the strength you can because it is a doggy dog world out there. Although there is some merit to what you are saying it seems like you have a huge ship on your shoulder. In your argument you seem to throw everything in but the kids Nsync, and even though you are having a feel day with this I am here to bring you back into reality. I have a sick sense when it comes to these types of things. It is almost spooky, because I cannot turn a blonde eye to these glaring flaws in your rhetoric. I have zero taller ants when it comes to people spouting out hate in the name of moral righteousness. You just need to remember what comes around is all around, and when supply and command fails you will be the first to go. Make my words, when you get down to brass stacks it doesn't take rocket appliances to get two birds stoned at once. It's clear who makes the pants in this relationship, and sometimes you just have to swallow your prize and accept the facts. You might have to come to this conclusion through denial and error but I swear on my mother's mating name that when you put the petal to the medal you will pass with flying carpets like it’s a peach of cake.
general contractors dont make that much
I hole-hardedly agree, but allow me to play doubles advocate here for a moment. For all intensive purposes I think you are wrong. In an age where false morals are a diamond dozen, true virtues are a blessing in the skies. We often put our false morality on a petal stool like a bunch of pre-Madonnas, but you all seem to be taking something very valuable for granite. So I ask of you to mustard up all the strength you can because it is a doggy dog world out there. Although there is some merit to what you are saying it seems like you have a huge ship on your shoulder. In your argument you seem to throw everything in but the kids Nsync, and even though you are having a feel day with this I am here to bring you back into reality. I have a sick sense when it comes to these types of things. It is almost spooky, because I cannot turn a blonde eye to these glaring flaws in your rhetoric. I have zero taller ants when it comes to people spouting out hate in the name of moral righteousness. You just need to remember what comes around is all around, and when supply and command fails you will be the first to go. Make my words, when you get down to brass stacks it doesn't take rocket appliances to get two birds stoned at once. It's clear who makes the pants in this relationship, and sometimes you just have to swallow your prize and accept the facts. You might have to come to this conclusion through denial and error but I swear on my mother's mating name that when you put the petal to the medal you will pass with flying carpets like it’s a peach of cake.
>deserve
Gibs Me dat
Soyboy
but what worked in 1903 works in 2017.
I hole-hardedly agree, but allow me to play doubles advocate here for a moment. For all intensive purposes I think you are wrong. In an age where false morals are a diamond dozen, true virtues are a blessing in the skies. We often put our false morality on a petal stool like a bunch of pre-Madonnas, but you all seem to be taking something very valuable for granite. So I ask of you to mustard up all the strength you can because it is a doggy dog world out there. Although there is some merit to what you are saying it seems like you have a huge ship on your shoulder. In your argument you seem to throw everything in but the kids Nsync, and even though you are having a feel day with this I am here to bring you back into reality. I have a sick sense when it comes to these types of things. It is almost spooky, because I cannot turn a blonde eye to these glaring flaws in your rhetoric. I have zero taller ants when it comes to people spouting out hate in the name of moral righteousness. You just need to remember what comes around is all around, and when supply and command fails you will be the first to go. Make my words, when you get down to brass stacks it doesn't take rocket appliances to get two birds stoned at once. It's clear who makes the pants in this relationship, and sometimes you just have to swallow your prize and accept the facts. You might have to come to this conclusion through denial and error but I swear on my mother's mating name that when you put the petal to the medal you will pass with flying carpets like it’s a peach of cake.
rip thread
Oh, so people don't deserve weekends, holidays and 8 hour working days?
Then why are you not giving up yours?
Oh that's right, because you're a faggot.
You LIKE the benefits that unions have brought you, but that creates a cognitive dissonance where you can't handle the fact that unions are actually beneficial, so you have to play dumb instead.
I'm a on my way to becoming a glazier and trust me , not to much money there not bad work though
Hard work bro, you have my sympathy.
Why do you want us to be broke
as I said, your argument is well placed 100 years ago. But today its fucking pointless. Christ you are stupid.
And some cunts just had to make it political..
LOLOLOLOLOLOL.
The argument is still valid faggot.
If you don't like unions, and think they're a burden, give up all the things they gave you, and all the benefits you still get.
Without them you'd have nothing, so if you TRULY believe they are no good, remove yourself from their influence. NOW.
You won't of course. Then you'd have to admit you're a fag.
Holy shit you're retarded.
poopy pee pee poo poopy poo peeeeeee poo peepeee pooopy pooopy peee poo pooop peeepeeepeee poo poopy pee poo pee pee poopy pee pee poo poopy poo peeeeeee poo peepeee pooopy pooopy peee poo pooop peeepeeepeee poo poopy pee poo pee pee
Modern medicine might have been well placed 100 years ago. But today it's fucking pointless.
Wait.
How many norovirus infections have you had?
mm yes that's why I cut my self and rub smallpox on it
How straight forward is it to change over a rad? I’ve been quoted £400 for 3 (6ft 4ft 3ft) is this a fair price? Or shall I go all home improvement on it and try it myself?
Hello fellow plumber worked in the industry for a few years but ended up with a better offer working as a crane operator. But can relate to these stories in an almost personal level
It's kind of straightforward and kind of not.
Turn off heater, wait to cool.
Shut off water supply, find drain line on system, it will be at lowest point under floor.
Drain water from there.
Remove and replace.
Reapply water pressure.
Go around to each rad unit, there's a square thing on the top end on one side, turn it anti clockwise, and hold a rag against the hole to bleed the air out.
Relight.
Considered crane ops, but the concept of sobriety was not my forte.
How can I check the water pressure running to the house without cutting any pipes?
Remove one end of your water meter.
Turn it slightly to the right.
Turn on the water and see how far it shoots.
Best type of tap washer? Looking at bunnings there's a lot of slightly different designs to pick from.
bunnings.com.au
Nearly any type of tap washer will last you a lifetime if you're not a faggot like most people.
You only ever literally need to turn them until the water stops. It's so simple. They'll last forever that way, it only requires a gentle shut off.
But you can sit there and literally DEMONSTRATE to people how effective it is, and then watch them wrench the fucking tap shut as tight as they can.
Every FUCKING time.
