I've made a suicide pact with my brother in the name of Chaos...

I've made a suicide pact with my brother in the name of Chaos. I need suggestions of things I can do to rough up society. I can't be caught this year at least.

-keying cars
-Cuming in library books
-Wiping feces on water fountain nozzles
-throwing broken glass on roads
>I need more

If you're wondering, we're not going to be doing any felonies until next year when we kill ourselves

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might as well just kill yourself now faggot

Because we're starting a cult and it won't go anywhere if we do that now.

Rub a slice of lunch meat (any kind would do.) on your ass.

Put it in a sandwich, and then give the sandwich to someone

Then watch them eat it.


I can't believe people do this shit. As if they have a complete lack of empathy for their fellow man.

God damn sociopaths.


Throwing glass on roads won't do anything but grind the glass into dust.
That wasn't really meant as advice, you sound like a major dumbshit.

It won't go anywhere period.
Might as well cut to the chase.

>get large tub of margarine
>place in a public phone box or any public room with no cameras
>bury large firecracker in margarine, leaving fuse exposed
>light fuse, run away

Rick roll as many people as you can. Send text messages to hundreds of random telephone numbers and random usernames online with the rick roll youtube link.

Been thinking of making a shit ton of these and somehow spread them around on roads. Fuck I hate traffic.
Good luck with the pact.

So you are a suicidal faggot. Probably because "Boohoo society is mean exe." even though most society will give you opportunities to live like a king if you are just willing to take them.

Instead of ending your misery like the sad suicidal faggot you are you decide to mess with as many people as possible. How are you gonna do this? What is your evil master plan? Doing minor things that might mess up life for a few people.

God I understand why you want to kill yourself, you are a sad excuse for a human being. Even when going fuck it all mode you do it in your little bitch pathetic way.

Aids needles in gas pump handles.

My name is not important... What is important is what I'm going to do. I just fucking hate this world and the human worms feasting on it's carcass. My whole life is just cold, bitter hatred... and I always wanted to die violently. This the time of vengeance and no life is worth saving. And I will put in the grave as many as I can. It's time for me to kill... and it's time for me to die.

>no felonies
>gets charged with aggravated assault with a biological weapon for smearing poo on a water fountain
>accused of war crime
>turns out the Geneva convention bans the use of biological weapons

I can see this playing out in my head.

omg i fucking died

Sugest lowering the legal fuck age on every public board you can find once or twice each week for a year, that will rock the boat and get you plenty shitbird enemies.
Good luck b/ro

Cyclists will get a lot of punctures tho

> Freeze shaving foam
> cut open
> throw block of foam anywhere
> watch as anywhere is filled with foam
Although I have no clue about the temperatures needed and transport.

No they won't, stupid.

it would just explode in the freezer

yes, they will moron. I cycle, glass and thorns are pretty much the only things that give you punctures

>I just fucking hate this world
And so you're going to cum into library books? Wow, you sure will be teaching everyone a major lesson.



Go to truck stops at night, and slash every tire you can. Mostly trucks delivering to grocery stores. Disrupt the food supply.

first part


Become a politician, opportunities will present themselves.

You cycle and you've never heard of kevlar? or thornproof tubes or liners or slime? Real cyclists, as in commuters, couriers, and people who use bicycles for transportation, who aren't weekend warriors/spandexfags, have had that shit solved for a loooong time... I could drop you like a ton of bricks.

Just for keks, take a huge shit on the floor in the back of walmart.

bippity boppity boopity and other nonsense bycyle jargon

still, dosent change the fact he's gonna ruin tires of the "weekend warriors/spandexfags" which is still fucked

I cycle too but i ride straight over glass np. Try using decent tyres like schwalbe durano plus or conti gatorskin hardshell

fuck those fuckers, they're the reason everyone hates cyclists. what the haters dont realize is all the other people on bicycles hate those elitist douchebags too...

>keying cars
>-Cuming in library books
>-Wiping feces on water fountain nozzles
>-throwing broken glass on roads
Are you twelve?

worst vidjagaem

I cycle to work. I have kevlar lined tyres. Still get punctures occasionally. Thrornproof tubes dont work for shit.
Also, you have just identified why you are an idiot. Most people dont have any of the stuff you mentioned, they just buy a shitty bike and ride it whatever way it comes therefore, lots of people get puntures. You are dumb.

you gays should watch Home Alone, it's right at your level, and you can learn how to make relly cool traps and stuff so you can take over and become chaoslords for real. it thingk theres even a part 2 youll get a ton of ideas for real

Over time secretly store away petrol

When you have enough, one moonless night take all the fuel and sneak onto the local schools football pitch

Use the fuel to write the most offensive phrase you can think of in the biggest letters possible

A really good one is to write the 14 words as this will really rile people up (Write it in english otherwise no one can read it)

When completed light the lettering with a match and admire your handy work.

Use a drone to take pics and upload them to Sup Forums

post suggestions

>black spray paint and get every camera you find
>handheld emp device near local police stations or hospitals
>good ol fashioned inner city arson

Your goal should always be to interrupt the money flow and put a wrench into their system.

>be giant faggot
>make kys ''''pact''''
>first let me do some childish poop fart tier pranks
>to make impact for chaos
>too retarded to think of better ones
>too kuch of a faggot to do proper ones
My suggestion: kys today.

Imagine to empty a sack full of marbles inside a parade...

I ride at least 200 miles a week in the southwest, U.S. full of goatheads, shit roads broken beer bottles everywhere, I ride for a living. I have been running thornproof for the last year and a half, and am on my second pair, (the valves fail), point is I have gotten a shitload of mileage off of them compared to regular tubes. before that i was on slime tubes and those lasted about a year each set as well (inside liner fail on one, and i just changed out the others because they were old. Oh and this is on both shitty cheng shin tires and some panaracers...
>Most people dont have any of that stuff? Yeah, your'e wrong, again like I said, commuters, couriers, people who ride for transportation DO, douchebag, and if you cycled to work for any real distance and your job depended on you being punctual, you would know about that stuff too, poser casual pussy.

this user gets it

the systems will always be in place. this is completely 100% for my amusement

> commuters, couriers, people who ride for transportation
This is most people who own a bike? you are dumb

you're not going to cause world wide chaos with pranks you dumb fuck.

Than why don't you ask us for big scale Kevin style mayhem ideas instead of babbling about suicide pacts?

the big scale ideas are already planned. i need some childish stuff like this to start low and get more cult members

if you'tr going to fucking kill yourself do more than just pranks. christ, take down the economy or something. BE CREATIVE

lmao and you're posting it on a traceable forum


Dont make fun of people with asbergers

ive already taken precautions so i cant be traced here

fair enough user, hopefully we see a new and crazy cult arise in the following weeks. here's an idea: make a website that seems harmless but through cryptic updates you tell your followers what the next move of your cult is


>puts road spikes on road bc fuck traffic
>causes more traffic because car tires are popped

Are you fucking stupid

Fucking losers. Burn down your city council, fake videos of famous people fucking monkeys, kidnap dogs and let them fight to death
You sound like a teenage pussy



reported. Hope you're using a VPN

Is this here
Sup Forums kindergarten: the thread ?

an example: where I work, 5 people including my self cycle to get there. I come the furthest at about 5 miles. The other 4 have shitty £200-300 max mountain bikes with whatever shitty tyres came with the bike. One guy has to come literally about 500 yards yet he has had 2 punctures this year. I preach to them all constantly about kevlar tyres but they just dont give a fuck. Most people are morons.

most of your shit would lead back to you easily

>condoms full of piss are your multi-tool of choice
>anything that has a lingering stink thrown into a departing subway train
>stickers with a very offensive message plastered onto taxis and buses
>meddle with advertisement in a funny way

And as a personnel recommendation of devilish mischief...get yourself a noisemaker that makes a shrill peeping sound every 20 seconds and hide it close to your biggest enemy.

yeah im not defeding them i once almost broke my hand giving one a ass-slap cause he was driving on wrong side of road..


this guy knows what's up