ITT: We describe movies badly and others guess what they are

ITT: We describe movies badly and others guess what they are.

Volume V

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youtube.com/watch?v=XA62refAB2w
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Fuck my ass

Movies that should have been solved ages ago.

One
>Terminally ill malaria patient is played by surprisingly robust American actor
>Maybe that's because in true American fashion, the actor just couldn't put down the fucking burgers
>People shoot at the enemy with a chain gun. They just don't realize which enemy it is.
>Maybe it's not human

Two (A and B)
>Man with posh English accent wears his hair in a pony tail
>Someone gets stabbed with an unusual object
>Annoying ginger girl has bad credit
>But here's some salt water

Describes two very different movies released within one year of one another. One literally, one figuratively. List both if you're the fucking man.

Scratch that, someone just guessed the first on the thread that is about to 404.

But feel free to guess again if you haven't seen it spoiled.

>Nerdy underage b& girl doesn't understand whose fingers to fuck.
>Pedobear kidnaps her little loli sister
>Nerdy girl falls in love with a different rapist
>A comedy

just gonna take a stab at the second and say Fifth Element?

There's this chef and the president tasks him and his best friend to get back the president's most valued possession.

I can add more if needed.

> I can fly
> I can land
> I can walk on the wing

Decent guess but no.

Updating and reposting from last thread
>White guy skins baboon in front of black guy while talking about how baboon skin looks like nigger skin.
>Also talks about how how he tracked niggers and baboons by the smell of their shit.

Fight club

>faggot contracts autism
>gets attacked by super model
>almost dissected
>some other shit happens
>oh, we can teleport?
>why is my room mate here

Fuck, I gotta see this now.

Just a guess though: Is it...Congo?

Nope

Correct
Lion King
Airplane
American history x
Blue velvet

>Chilling in my living room
>Get teleported to a different planet
>Try to get back home
>Can't, I'm stuck here
>Become a rock star

Johnny Bravo episode 123: nightmare at 20,000 feet
>nailed it

Reposting this too
>Two guys try to support kid in different ways
>Kid leaves

>Man running for office
>Goes on stage and ditches the script
>Starts talking about how his campaign workers predetermined his outfit (amount of shoe scuff, tie color, etc)

Tbh I'm using this thread to help me remember, because I can't remember the name of this movie for my life

Planet of the Apes

Definitely not lion king, but kek

>Lion King
Kek! Not mine but I hope that's right.

>American History X
No
>Blue Velvet
Also no.

Incorrect

The Candidate?

How old of a movie is it?

No to airplane
No

Bulworth

Bulworth?

>Nigger takes a white man's cock into one of his orifices off camera
>John McClane is pissed the fuck off
>That white guy doesn't have a sign out front that says "Dead nigger storage"
>And this probably isn't the movie you're thinking of.

Someone will eventually get this.

Howard the Duck?

So not Pulp Fiction?

Pulp Fiction

>A man on the run from the mob seduces a wealthy retiree
>The retiree is also a man
>Not a pro-gay movie

>Have to babysit semi-retarded guy so he doesn't fuck up his brother's governor campaign
>Uncover election fraud plot
>Save the day

Yep.

Black Sheep

Fifth Element

>So not Pulp Fiction?
Nah. But starring at least three of the same actors. Actually, four. Scratch that, five! Kinda makes sense, when you think about it.

No.

Congraturation, you is win game

Blind date
Hudson Hawk
Color of night

Planet Terror

Fuck I'm dumb lol it was the Adjustment Bureau

Adjustment Bureau

Fuck. Beat me to it.

No to all. This is kind of an obscure artsy indie movie, even though it has a star studded cast, so don't worry if you don't get it. Someone else will.

>Fuck I'm dumb lol it was the Adjustment Bureau
Watch Bulworth anyway. It's similar to the movie you described and fucking hilarious.

youtube.com/watch?v=XA62refAB2w

Sin City?

>Musician dies
>Eats macaroni and cheese
>Spaces out under the influence of heroin
>Not necessarily in that order

>Found a weird book
>Gf tries to kill me
>End up in the past

>roguish siblings with a purpose sucker their friends into helping them with a big score in this tale of faith, karma, and recidivism.

>Be me, homeless smart mouthed faggot
>I look about as bad as I undoubtedly smell
>Despite this, a loli who uses crucifixes as dildos wants the D pretty bad
>Did I mention my best friend is a Chris Farley wannabe with the IQ of a fruit fly?

I'll give another hint
>Black guy thinks that white guy is his friend. (Even when white guy is saying this)
>White guy dies

Stepbrothers?

Never-Ending Story 2?

Blues Brothers, assuming "score" is a pun

>niggers crash on planet
>nigger snr, being a deadbeat, sends nigger jr to slay monsters and find Oreos
>nigger jr starts fucking with nature
>nature fucks him right back
>mini nig finds monster
>learns how to invisible
>rapes monsters unsuspecting butt hole
>returns to big nig with cigarettes and an Oreo feast
>big nig gets leg confiscated for being a lazy cunt
what a twist

The Ghost and the Darkness?

nope, but i still haven't seen that one

you got it

>Never-Ending Story 2?
Nope

Moonrise Kingdom

Oh god, I can't remember the name of the movie, but this is that Jaden Smith vehicle isn't it?

Die Hard with a Vengeance

you're thinking of After Earth. dunno if it's correct though

How about uh Evil Dead?

It is indeed, gents

No.
Also no.

Are you just going to list every Bruce Willis movie ever made until you get the right one? Let it go, user. Let it go. Write some movies of your own to stump the stumpers. That's the best revenge.

Nope
Really don't know why anyone doesn't remember this scene

>oh my God they actually did it! They blew it up GOD DAMN YOU!

Alright, we're going back to easy mode.

>Run, Forest, Run!
>Said no one ever
>Twice
>Because this describes two movies

List them both, my fair anons.

I'm not the only one listing every Bruce Willis movie but yes that's what I was trying to do but I'm only phone in it's hard as fuk.

>girl ties up a man in his own house
>cuts off his balls
>plot twist: it's not the first time she's done it

Pulp fiction
Tarantino is one brave cunt

Close, but no

Fuck, I can't read

>reluctant child celebrity tip-toes around others' expectations and gets way with murder.

Give it a rest, friendo. Save your battery for something bigger and better. This was a movie no one saw, apparently.

The thing about Pulp Fiction is that we actually kinda see Ving Rhames getting butt fucked. We don't see it like it's a porn, but we see Peter Greene (Zed) having his fun. That doesn't happen in the movie I listed, which is why I said it only happens off camera. It might not even happen at all, for all we know. Someone just alludes to it.

I agree Tarantino is a brave cunt.

>Everyone tells an actor they saw the twist coming
>A character plays her own actress

The Good Son

haven't seen it, but not the one i was describing

Can we get a hint?

Is the murder literal or figurative?

And The Good Son is about Mackaulay Culkin as a child serial killer. Came out right after Home Alone 2. Creepy as fuck.

To lazy for a job i need cash for free

This reminds me of a movie so I'll do it.
> Be John mclane look a like
> Girl ties up guy in her house
> Pretty much does everything but cut his balls off
> Plot twist it is her first time to do this

Pulp Fiction

One of the worst movies I've ever seen Hard Candy

Mulholland Drive

Hard Candy. Seriously bleak movie

Do you guys prefer easy clues for a hard movie? Or hard clues for an easy movie?

Here's some easy ones for a tough(er) one. But lots of you have no doubt seen it.

>Here mom, eat this poisonous yogurt.
>The Fly gets cuckolded by his own son! No wonder he beats the shit out of him.
>But to the son's credit, he didn't know The Fly was his dad
>He did know Kevin McCallister and Sebastian Valmont are his brothers
>One more figuratively than the other

>skeleton is tired of spooks
>falls in tree
>inspired
>imitates fat man for lols
>gets whole town in on it
>is too spooky and gives up
>decide to bone female Frankenstein's monster

Looper

Sure
> In the past I ran and I ran and I ran.

Misery

>Guy is waiting to die
>Sees dancing people everywhere
>Girlfriend has spooky eyes
>At a dance and everyone does the scary dance
>Guy dies

The second clue might be an okay interpretation, but I don't remember anything like the first. Anyway, great movie, but no.

murder in the literal sense, but using the term "murder" is also a bit of an exaggeration

Backdoor Sluts 9

Nightmare before Christmas

Tim Burton's all-claymation attempt at recapturing the magic of Beetlejuice.

The second clue is definitely Back to the Future

Clearly Hannah Montana

Last Boy Scout

>Guy visits house
>little girl befriends him in barn
>takes bath with dead dad