Just had an epiphany of how worthless I really am

Just had an epiphany of how worthless I really am.

Can I get some feels?

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en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neuro-linguistic_programming
m.youtube.com/watch?t=201s&v=U6OoCaGsz94
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You feel worthless yet you have the audacity to beg people to take time out of their days to cater to your shitty mood? Sounds very selfish for a seemingly worthless person.

This
Hey op if i roll dubs lets kill ourselves together
Check em

...

Whats wrong user?
I wont judge you.

Lol yeah

Still dealing with the fact that I'm the cause of my best friend's death 9 years ago.

And this is now a shit thread!
Well done!

I miss read that as "I bother people by burning them alive"

99% of people are fake

That would bother me.

Shit man..
Ive felt that way about ex I had long time ago..
But whats it all about? Accidents happen. (You dont need to explain if you dont want to though, I know shit can be hard to talk about)

ooh, story time! Go

Drinking one night. Wake up in the morning. Find out he flipped his car on the highway 6 times. I was the one that bought. I was the only one that could buy. He actually begged me for an hour straight to buy before i gave in. Shoulda just went with my gut.

My boyfriend recently cheated on me. I thought we would end up married one day, I've never loved anyone more.
A bunch of my single male friends started hitting on me after finding out I was single again. When I turned them down a bunch of them basically told me to fuck off and stopped talking to me. Having a fake friendship with someone and thinking someone cares about you when they're really just holding out hoping for sex hurts a lot more than being "friendzoned" I assure you.
A lot of my friends that are in relationships are getting married, having kids, and just generally too busy for me now.
I feel really alone. I lost the love of my life and then started losing everyone after than it seems like.
I just now had another guy friend tell me he didn't want to talk anymore because I didn't want to sleep with him. I don't feel like I have anyone I can trust, and I really just need someone on my side but now there isn't anyone left. I put so much effort into people only to have it fuck me over.

Sorry for the long post. I just needed to vent and cry everything out tonight. Hope you all are well Sup Forums

I'd share my feels with you, but I dont want to waste my time.

Same. Couldn't be bothered writing all that shit now.

That had to be harsh man..did you get in trouble or do you struggle with the guilt cause no one knew?
Mine was alcohol related too.

Feel you.

What's with this edgy mask faggotry? You're not spooping anyone

It's an attention whore, ignore Sup Forumsro.
This shit is proprer cancer

Not trying to.
Whats with edgy superficial questions?

Heck yeah man, I'm definitely worthless. My life is beautiful though and I'm loving every second lol

I've also got this sweet fucking delusion that I'm better than practically every other human being.

No. Never got charged with anything. Everyone for years just keeps spouting off the same dribble...if you didn't buy it for him he would have found someone else to. Problem is i can't accept that. If i didn't buy, no matter if he did find it somewhere else all of history would have been different.

I cant fully relate but I feels your pain.

Long story short.
I dated guy years ago, we drank alot.
He would get abusive.
One day I called cops.
He held me at gunpoint so they wouldnt come in.
He eventually let me go.
He shot himself in the head immediately afterwards.

Sometimes I think if I didnt call the cops and just took the pounding I could have just left jim..then maybe he could have got help..aa or something.
But I didnt pull the trigger..you didnt force your friend to drive drunk..
That probably wont help your sorrow nut I feel guilty sometimes too man.

Bump

He never should have been layin hands on you. That goes without saying. And if you called the cops that night you must have been fearing for your life. I'm truly sorry he decided to take his own life. That has to be so incredibly heavy to carry with you on the daily. How do you cope? I could really use the advice, cause my addiction to drugs has only masked it. I still feel like ending it every day

He was putting other people at risk driving while out of his tree. Your friend was a dick. No need to feel guilt.

He was young and impulsive. Regardless, if I hadn't purchased then he wouldn't have been able to make that decision.

Im drug addict too..not cause of that, been one forever (2 days no h..trying to quit)

Woooosh, im crying now, in a good way.

When it crosses my mind, I try to tell myself it could have been avoided..but it wasnt, and I dont believe shit happens for a reason.. Shit just happens. I think to myself, thats the way it went down. We were both fuvked up..we just wanted fun and got misery with each other..he died, I lived.. Lifes unfair..yada yada.
His family tried to blame me..not for calling the cops but..idk..they were wierd and that was thier boy.

Do this user, and do it for yourself and me...the next time someone gives you grief about it, you tell them this..
"Yup, I know...yup, I know...tell me about it" stuff like that. Hold your head high when you do, look them in the eyes, cry if you need to. Then when it's your turn to rebuttle in the conversation say this, "I know I fucked up I know its my fault and I hate myself as much as you do, so if there's anything else you want to say..say it...or GTFO!"
Say that to them user. Beat them to the punch before they do and say it with conviction.
I dont care who that person is. Your friends parents, your parents, his sister, brother, yours, friends, family, dog. Anyone..you shut them down with that.

Well thats not constructive advice at all.

Well there's no point wallowing. OP didn't do anything wrong, and his friend could easily have wiped out a family of 6.

It's not anyone giving me grief. No one even thinks it was my fault. But I do. It's on my mind every day. It fucks with me so much. I was addicted to Vicodin for 8 years. Taking 20-23 pills a day. Finally got sick of being sick. So i checked myself into rehab earlier this year. I was in for 9 months. Worst experience of my life. I'm diagnosed with massive depression, depersonalization, and derealization. Finally i got out a month ago. My ma (who is the only person i had anymore) picks me up and i stay with her. Last week she kicked me out because i relapsed. Now I'm couch surfin and smokin dope just to be able to function. It's just so fucked.

You clearly have it all figured out huh.

Samefagging so hard

I don't even feel human most the day. This shit is so fucked.

No, but what's the alternative? He can't change the past, neither can you. There are probably unfortunate consequences to lots of insignificant things we do in life but we don't have the benefit of knowing what's exactly going to happen. You can't live your life crippled by guilt. Especially over someone, who I've pointed out already, was being a dick.

Guilt is incrediby debilitating. It slowly eats you up and if you allow yourself to dwell on it for too long it can destroy you. Talking about it can be therapeutic, but allowing it to take over is just as much self abuse as cutting, or other self harm. It's cliche sounding, but I highly recommend talking to a therapist for advice on putting these events behind you, so that you can live life again. The pain never goes away, but you can control it.

Hello R, nice to see you again.

We're ALL worthless fan. Life was a mistake.

Don't let that stop you. All life is precious and every loss is a tragedy. Miraculous as evolution and organics are, we often times try to justify things a certain way or opt into strict lines of thought. That's bad news bears.

When you realize that life was accidental and is meaningless on a cosmic scale, you can let free and be happy. Remember that survival on a universal scale is built through connection and experience. You know heights are dangerous because you seen your friend get hurt falling off a cliff. Etc etc .

Remember that friendship and family if you can, are the utmost important. Building experiences any way you can, even finding fulfillment alone, can give you a satisfying life. Money and value only matter because resources are limited.

Life. Experience. Life is meaningless so do everything you can do enjoy it and satisfy yourself.

you come off as very selfish

You gotta move on, your friend would have wanted you to move on. You gotta live your life as if it never happened, be born again. Dont use that ancient past as an excuse (even if your not, don't let it be one, for why your life is miserable and worse). Start from scratch, new leaf.

I understand what you're saying. I know that i should just move on but i can't. I hate this. I fuck up shit on the daily cause I'm constantly fazing out. Tried rehab. Tried psychiatry. Im on crazy meds. Nothing takes this fucking thought out of my mind.

I know man.
I hate looking at myself in the mirror unless I have mask but dont hate yourself. You have compelling story and maybe someday it might help someone else with their grief.
I know mental illness.
I know self pity and hate and self harm..harm for fun usually but not always.
I know drugs.
Try and stop opiates, smoke more weed.

And dont think about killing yourself..if your bud loved you he wouldnt want that and I dont want that.
There is community support groups and therapy and theres no shame in trying to connect with other people who have been through hell. People will listen..
Fuck, ive been in therapy over half my life..am I cured..fuuuck no. Am i better, hells yeah.
If you dont have money there is ways around that. Some networks base it on income and if you have none, you can get help for free basically (idk what country you live in but I imagine theres stuff)
Or narcotics anonymous is great place to go to vent about shit like this.
If groups hard to find, look into churches..im not religious one bit but churches can run some pretty good groups believe it or not.. (if they ask you if you believe in god, just say yrs..saves alot of trouble believe you me.)
But it's all up to you..dry them eyes hold your head high, thank your friends for them couches and hang in there.

Oh hi guy!!

Pretty much..life should only just ever be about having fun.
Life is meaningless but it can be worth living

have this gif and cheer up

no.
you already have too much.
have a hot cup of self-esteem and motivation, to gulp down your depression-hangover.
Fucking savage.

>implying people arent already wasting their time by being here

w8, looking at anime cheers weebs up?
I thought you just fall in love with them, ignore reality and continue to imagine yourself being in contact with them to keep reality from seeping into your basements...

Claps slowly.....

Solid advice.

Must be nice being this guy, haha.

Why thank you Heath Ledger joker..would totally let you tell me by the way, hehe

People die homie. If you feel this bad like you can escape, then you need more. Join the service son. You're better serving your country than moping around thinking about killing yourself.

People die. Life is precious and like I said, a loss of life is always tragic, for any reason. But death is inevitable and people make mistakes or are simply in the wrong place at the wrong time.

It might be hard to make piece with yourself. And you may never. But you can't let one death haunt your life.

Let me tell you a shitty story

>Be me 3 years ago
>19 years old newbie security officer at a behavioral facility
>Be talking with suicidal people all the time and feel like I'm helping save the world
>One day this dude wraps his neck up with a bed sheet then jams himself underneath a bed in a super weird way in attempt to choke himself and not be able to stop himself.
>We stop him.
>The hospital decides to discharge him(I'm full wtf mode right now. He just attempted suicide and we're pushing him on the street).
>Walk the guy to the exit.
>I tell him to stay safe and be careful
>He walks, the nurse leaves. I watch him as he walks towards the street
>I see him fumble with his pockets.
>All of a sudden he slips a belt around his neck, very quickly ties the belt to a nearby rail that's next to a creek.
>He jumps and he is hanging off this rail
>I tell for backup and Sprint outside
>Literally deadlift his choking body over the rail and rip the belt from the rail
>He choking and crying and begging for me to let him die
>I kind of just hold him for a few minutes until police arrive and we get him inside

He thanked me 3 days later and told me that he couldn't imagine what it would be like for his family of I hadn't intervened.

I haven't seen him since he left our facility. I have hope he's still alive.

But in all reality. I hadn't thought of him in years. His life was precious to me at that moment. I felt for him. And now that moment is over. And I can move on.

...

Uggh...stupid fucking spell check..how the duck it get "tell" from "rail"!

Fuck me joker!!! Thats what I meant.

You are becoming our resident therapist! I fear you are a bit like Alice... giving good advice but very seldom following it? Ah well, ::hugs:: I must go but wanted to say hi. You are usually coming as I am going. C'est la vie...

I keep hitting new lows in my life as well OP. I'm still to find out how worthless I am. Friends never want to hang out with me. Family that knows I exist had pretty much abandoned me. I've put my fullest effort into my minimum wage job. Getting more responsibilities but no reward or credit for my work except when someone fucks up and uses me as a scapegoat.
Every girl that I have asked out has either rejected me and humiliated me or has stood me up, changing their minds before even giving me a chance. I've reinvented myself in hopes that it may work out. It's gotten to a point where I crave and hate human contact because everyone just sounds so insincere when it's not negative. I fucking hate my life.

post tits

Haha..I thought I was friendly neighborhood thread hijacker, haha.

goddamnit, who else but spooky :D

Not that kind of thread, guy.

it's simple.
Instead of perpetuating depressions by constantly talking about them and trying to unwind the mental knot responsible for them, throw these people into a better life directly.
Force them to take responsibility by taking either care of the elderly, sick or minors, so they get a sense for the insignificance of their own "feelings".
Over time they will adapt to their new work-schedule and realize that they
a) actually can be productive and gain positive feedback from those they care about. And not just fake slaps on the shoulder, but genuine thank-you's for the physical work they themselves have done and therefore are forced to accept as real.
b) gain self-esteem from a)
c) stop identifying themselves with the negative thoughts they had because of b)

Work therapy fixes almost all problems related with depressions / lack of self-esteem, so stop sitting around contemplating your missery, but get your ass moving and apply for a job in the social department.
And no, I don't care how much you hate people.
DO IT!

Fuck off sad cunt
Go start one of your attention whoring thread instead of larping here.
Don't forget to cry and to punch yourself in the face

Hi!!!!!!!
Haha..cant sleep..saw this thread..what can I say..
Sluts, tribute, and rekt can wait, haha.

That too! I told myself I wouldn't encourage you again tonight; honestly the temptation is strong, but the clock is stronger.

There is a lot of sadness on b tonight. May we all find strength in sharing.

what the fuck is up with this faggot posting his stupid face every other post

Haha, peoples feelings arent insignificant..maybe to you.

It's 11 o clock in the morning and sunny where I am, can you all cheer up a bit, please. You're bringing me down.

True story. When i was in rehab they use to tell us all the time..fuck your feelings.

Worst experience ever.

Yes! This! It really puts things in perspective, and forces you to focus. It engages your drive for compassion and brings purpose and satisfaction, filling the emptiness. Soon the emptiness fades, and you will meet like-minded compassionate people while doing this.

Im here to help op,,
I was being murky lurky then saw this...I thought it was bait but nope, op for reals.

Haha, sure thing.

they are objectively and absolutely, because it's an individuals free decision how heavy they weight certain types of thoughts.
Traumas never disappear. All a therapist does is giving you the right tools to deal with them, by showing you that YOU are the only tool available.
Depressions, self-hatred, low self-esteem, they are all just short-circuits where one judges him- / herself too harshly.

So the solution is obvious:
Stop feeling this feel.
And work is the best distraction to forget it (for some time) and learn new aspects about your own capabilities, both helping you to come to a new, better judgement about yourself.

And why does it work: because your feels were insignificant and artificial to beginn with.
They are a result of limited knowledge about yourself. So start working and prove yourself that you can do better.
No excuses accepted.

How do you just start over? Go to a different state. New circle of friends. All that. How do you do it successfully?

we all feel like that sometimes

me just now
>>bzzzzzz having a shave in bathroom
>>mom hoovering
>>how long are you going to be in there user?
>>me not long
>>she goes into kitchen with the hoover
>>bang smash crash
>>wftf jpeg
>>i think the cats knocked something over
>>go in kitchen moms on floor in pain
>>wtf
>>my head hurts
>>w w what happened
>>i i don't know, i fell back
>>jesus crying out loud
>>i feel weird
>>phone an ambulance

mfw i can't be a comfort to my old dear

Well then I geuss we should be robots with programmed thoughts...wait knock on wood....then we all be conservative nutjobs..haha

This thread...

because you didn't listen.
They wanted you to distance yourself from your depressed self and find out what else is their.
Obviously you failed, so it's time to get practical.
Work for the elderly, disabled or minors, to actually get a connection to humans, and ultimately yourself again.

Every action begins with a feeling..that is not insignificant.
By significant I dont necessarly mean good..
I mean it's good to be a self aware human being..those counselers that said fuck your feelings are quacks.
Think about it

You are more akin to a machine than you might believe.
Look up en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neuro-linguistic_programming
You can be literally programmed by experts in NLP.
And by forcing you to work, I offer you the option to re-programm / fix yourself.

So just forget him?

...

Yeah..the human brain is a meat computer that processes 40 billion bits of info a second..but we are self aware free thinking beings that fuck to reproduce more shaved monkey people..duhh. So we not robots...except conservatives..they robots.

you're not bothering them, they're just looking at your and are either disappointed that you're not playing "let's make each other stars" by looking back at them, or they're disgusted at the state of a world that would make it so you're not looking back at them with confidence...

i hope this makes sense...

Explain me reflexes.
Almost no actions beginn with feelings.
Feelings are supersticious and a result of our highly developed, active brain functions.
Most actions carried out by us are a result of subconcious reflexes tho.

And to fix your higher functions, you have to fix your subconcious ones first. Therefore get used to a strict work-routine, adapting to it subconcious (f.e. waking up even before your clock bells), and then actively observe yourself how you actually can be a functioning part of your social circle. And that in itself produces pride and therefore bolsters your self-esteem, directly combating your circular, depressive thought-pattern that you were trapped in previously.

Yup.

This

You thought about changing yourself so you no longer feel that way?

At least I wouldn't give 2 fucks about his advice.

also, what is your fixation on conservatives!?
Do you already project your enemy-stereotypes onto me because I disagree with you?
I'm german, just so you know.

But I find this process interesting.
How about you drop this wall and take my arguments for what they are worth, without attaching any prejudices from you onto them.

How do you do that? How do you really just forget everything and start over?

Reading this does me a sad.

Pretty much. Change your look. Habits. Forcefully change yourself to be completely different. Sometimes it helps for a while.

I'm sorry user. That wasn't the intention of this thread.

by taking anew job, f.e.
Haven't you read the last few posts!?

Not so much an epiphany as it is reality just setting in. Your worth is what you make it and you're the only one who can change it, if you so desire. Whatever you do, don't allow a pack of "smarter-than average" chimps decide your worth for you, people are self-satisfying to a fault even when they know it's wrong. Deal with it yo...

But how do you forget everything that's happened in your life? The rest i get. But the fuckin thoughts. The fuckin time i stole from him. And the fact that I've done nothing with it.

You forgive yourself eventually.
You mark it off as the past ONCE YOU ACTUALLY CHANGED YOURSELF.
One step at a time, user.

Thats like saying you have the ability to make your bladder empty by saying..I really dont feel like I need to pee. Then ignoring the mess when you piss yourself

And no, the conservative thing wasnt directed at you, just been seeing stupid right wing posts about hating niggers and how trump is best US prez ever...just ignore it.
Sorry

>Thats like saying you have the ability to make your bladder empty
And you have this ability, by getting up, and taking a piss.
Sitting there and contemplating about your full bladder, and the pain it gives you won't fix anything.
/metaphor
And the same things apply to your thoughts.
You have these circular thought patterns, because your current environment supports them. Changing your environment, habbits and actions - in short, proving yourself that you can do more, will have the same effect as taking a piss: it reduces the pressure, and helps you to understand that it was an easy thing to fix to beginn with, so you mark it off as weak, old you, and embrace the capable, proud new you instead.
And to meet that new you, you have to be it.
You have to live it.
Hence get your ass moving and start to work.
No better way than to find your new you than that.

You don't just start over, it's a process that takes time, how much time is up to you.

My life use to be shit, shitty enough that I was drinking a fifth of vodka every day. I never felt like I belong any where, that I was nothing but a waste of space and just a burden to every one. I had zero friends, literally no family (Last family member died 11 yrs ago) every day I drank myself stupid, thought about killing

You question yourself on how you can change, how to make a difference. The problem is you're trying to tackle a larger issue, before you even conquered your small shit.

So sit there and make a list of every thing you hate or dislike about yourself, start small and work your way up to the larger shit.

Here you go OP, watch this motivation video. It helped me out a lot with life so far. Just remember to make your bed.

m.youtube.com/watch?t=201s&v=U6OoCaGsz94

killing myself*