ITT: We describe movies badly and others guess what they are

ITT: We describe movies badly and others guess what they are.

Volume VII

>Be me, single father with two digit IQ
>Not surprisingly, I'm black
>My son dresses like a gang member and almost gets kicked out of school
>Like most blacks, I drive like a fucking retard and practically kill a bunch of people whenever I'm behind the wheel
>Eventually, I meet this big, scary motherfucker.
>He turns out to be a BeeGees fan.

Ralph Fiennes kills a LOT of jews.

Schindler's List

the untouchables?

>Guy fills a gallon jug with water
>Shoots a dog
>Buys some tent poles and some duct tape
>Turns out he's retired

logan

men in boat seek absolute madman
operatic helicopters

nope

no country for old men

>There's this cop who wants to kill an Irish kid
>And I'm his friend. I don't want him to die.
>So I go to work down at the steel factory and try to make a difference
>Along the way, I learn Spanish

No.

Jaws

Batman II

>mid 70s new york band, sens organs of divine creature and a chines year goes on epic treasure hunt

repostan
>two egotestical man try hard to one-up each other the whole movie
>top-hat
>red rubber ball
>bird in cage

>a father gets shot in the back and dies
>gets paid 200 dollars for it

Phantom of the Paradise

I'm sorry, I was looking for The Dark Knight.

It's Batman II

>A nigger takes a white man's cock into one of his orifices off camera
>John McClane is pissed the fuck off
>This other white guy doesn't have a sign out front that says "Dead nigger storage"
>And this definitely isn't the movie you're thinking of

A bum and a cheating whore take a boat ride and do the biggest ice bucket challenge ever.

Apocalypse Now.

wreck it ralph

no sharks appeared in the movie

Titanic

Two guys are actually one in real life, the film is somehow fake and real at the same time

bioshock infinite?

Nope

>no sharks appeared in the movie
Batman II

that's the one

the machinist

Titanic.

Hide and Seek
or
Fight Club
or
Total Recall

Probably the last one

Blitz ?

nope

No

No

>astronaut
>crash land on unknown planet
>monkeys rule the planet
yfw it's planet earth

>Be me, strong, silent type with a tender heart from the wrong side of the tracks
>My oneitis gets attacked by a pack of niggers one night and I fight them off
>But there's this faggot who looks like a dark haired Fabio who wants to fucking stab me!
>And he's really good at juggling

does it involve a $5 milkshake

Kill the Irishman?

Planet of the Apes

No.

Planet of the Apes... original, not bullshit remake.

correct

Morpheus and a couple of Space Marines go on a rescue mission. Learn latin along the way.

>Everybody got fivehead
>Brain magic
>Shouting names
>Invents new shade of red

Batman.

Shutter Island?

>Kill the Irishman?
An excellent suggestion. They really are just red headed Jews.

But that's not my movie.

Star Trek or Battlefield Earth

>janitor lives in a bad neighborhood
>next door neighbor dies
>adopts their surviving daughter
>teach her how to clean
>eventually becomes decent at this type of job but still is dumb at times
>daughter fucks up a job
>janitor assumes responsibility
>dies

Lara Croft raids tombs.

nope, not star trek

Batman III.

Leon: The Professional

leon

Correct

Wall Street guy has jealousy issues that result in numerous murders. It turns out it's all a joke.

Correct!

>be me
>Dad fucked up and I have birth defects
>Everyone loves to sing but all they do is shuffle while doing it
>Whatever fuck this shit I love to dance
>Try and ask some guy for help getting pussy
>Get abducted by aliens afterwards
>Eventually escape and come back home, the aliens stuck some weird shit on me and everyone is freaked out
>Sing Stevie Wonder to get the aliens to fuck off

Batman IV.

Happy feet

American Psycho.
2EZ
Checkem

Until Dawn

american psycho

Nope, tip: nicolas cage

Winrar

>Run, Forest, Run!
>Said no one ever
>Twice
>Because this describes two movies. Name both of them, if you can.

Friends come home from college. Iron Man sucks a bunch of cocks to repay his debt. Dies.

(If you can get this one, you're old as fuck)

Less than Zero

>Old as fuck
33

adaption

>meme guy slips into coma and chases a sly nigger in a fantasy, hellish land
>nigger slips into reality and possesses meme guy's body
>meme guy possesed a freshly dead corpse instead
>meme guy chases nigger and wants his real life body back, in reality

>boston
>bank robbery with the crew, kidnaps a girl
>falls in love with girl
>one finally heist at a baseball stadium

Good job user.

The book is much better by the way. The author is the guy who wrote American Psycho.

>sign up for some probable scam
>some doll turns up on my house
>a series of unfortunate events
>dies
>but not really

matrix

Monkeybone

No

The Town

Adaptation

yes

Old veteran relives his time killing Gooks by getting a bunch of Gooks to kill him to protect his new Gook friend.

The Prestige.

nope
yape

Gran torino

John Wick

Correct!

Preaching to the choir, my man. I've read every book Bret's ever written. And Less Than Zero is what inspired me to write my first novel when I was 19.

Gran Torino

>Three sisters
>Truman Capote creates his own glue for post cards
>Russian scammer in denim jacket
>A finnish bear takes his fantasies to far

Happiness

>Fraternal siblings perform their duty as hoc proctologists
>Glaring misnomer regarding the color of a main character's hair
>A main character, as in one of several; not THE main character

Desperado

Nice.

I'm 37 and I remember that movie when it came out. Less than Zero is the "Catcher in the Rye" of Generation X.

yah

yup

Dead ringers

Forrest Gump becomes a Congressman and defeats the Evil Empire.

>gang shit
>southie pahk my cah in scotland yahd

>retarded guy acts even more retarded than normal for the whole movie
>wins a medal

Charlie Wilsons War

>I dont want to read this letter, lets get high from sniffing gas instead and watch RC-planes

That one stupid starwars prequel where that space nigger jar jar becomes a government jew?