My gf who I thought was the love of my life left me for someone else long story short

My gf who I thought was the love of my life left me for someone else long story short.
What're some ways to distract myself/better myself in this phase of obsessive depression?
Any response appreciated, I only have myself now.

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A bottle of Gentlemen Jack, a cigar, and good movie/book.

If you have a job start asking for more shifts. It helps keeping yourself busy and puts some cash in your pocket.

...

Bump

How much money do you have? If you want an unhealthy fix I would say strippers, and alcohol.

and cigarettes

My work is pretty boring. All I do is think about her and how she's played me, I get so exhausted thinking about it all day + eating sleeping pills to get to sleep keeps me in a rut.
How can I improve myself to make myself have hope for the future? Other than working out ect..
Thanks for a reply.

$1500 total in savings..

What's a good book you'd recommend?

Well, I would try finding new hobbies such as go hiking, play a new sport or even pour my heart out through art.

She's probably fucking her new boyfriend in front of my 4k TV I let her keep because she led me to believe we were getting back together. I'm a fucking cuck.

I'll start doing all three... Only time will heal I guess. I hate the fact I'm going to be thinking about someone that won't be thinking about me for the next year or so probably.

Other than working out? If you aren't already, you need to start. It gives you goals, endorphins, and confidence. If you already are, carry on. Also, learn a new language. That is what I did about 4 years ago, and now I live in korea with a gf 14 years younger than I am. Also, don't trust women.

Nurture relationships with friends. If you don't have any then go meet people.

If she played you she will play other people and struggle with that for the rest of her life. You got out, which is a good thing.

Post her nudes.

Cross country skiing is the only thing that can help you bro.

What's Korean pussy like? Worth learning the language for obviously?
Koreans like relatively attractive Caucasian guys? Thanks I reckon I will.

OP asked how to move on, not how to wallow.

I strongly suggest you get into self improvement. She left you for a reason. And while she obviously wasn't the right girl, there are things you can do to better yourself. Get really into that, spend a lot of time on it. Get fit, put yourself out of her league, and by the time you do you won't even want her anymore because you'll realize all the ways she was horribly flawed.

I regret deleting it now. Fuck I know how to make mistakes haha sorry.

Start a new activity, something that will be a challenge.
Stick with it and become good at it. Focus on quality, whatever it is.
Set yourself goals - with that activity and also aside from it. Aim towards them.

She's gone, but clearly the girl you loved isn't exactly what she is - the girl you loved wouldn't have done that if your vision of her had been fully true.
Now you know better what you want in a woman, keep your eyes out in the future, what you want and also, what to avoid.
This takes time, so do constructive things and don't let her behaviour affect you in negative ways.

Also, don't read old messages from her or look at photos and that kind of thing.
It is pretty important that you make a clear cut - if there wasn't some kind of arguement at the end where you told her what you really think of her behaviour, then you should perhaps let her know.
Otherwise, just cut all contact, delete her from your phone and so on.
Then keep busy.

Me, I have been a lot of political philosophy recently. "The Tragedy of Great Powers" is what I am currently working on.

A lot of people say it's tighter, but it really varies. It does tend to be wetter, though, and they usually have very little body hair. If you are relatively attractive, you would do well with non-westernized Korean girls. If you have a bachelor's degree (in anything) you can teach English here pretty easily.

She left me because I wasn't understanding enough in her emotions and how the things I'd do affected her. Really low self-esteem, thought I'd cheated on her when I travelled to Canada/USA and remembered all the times that she hated. She said she realised in a moment that it was never going to work. And then found someone else in less than 3 weeks. I didn't enjoy the party scene I thought her enough, too insecure to dance with her which she values a lot considering she's pretty much an alcoholic

I got drunk one night and found out from a friend that she'd been out somewhere "with" someone else and said a bunch of shit I now regret. But she's blocked me and I've deleted everything I have of her. We were from the same small town and I live in the room that we spent everyday for 6 months together in. The happiest memories that I have have been with her. The classic you don't know what you got until it's gone scenario.

Sounds like something I'd like. Anything else you'd recommend? I'm desperate so I'll take anything

Dancing comes with practice and exposure.
Find some patient and fun girls and learn with them.
Then you won't have problem in future.
It feels awkward at first, but if you learn to let go and not care what other people think, it becomes kind of like a game.
Find an older woman on dance floors who don't mind showing you and aren't expecting anything from you.
Also, if she found someone in 3 weeks, either she is on a rebound, or she is a fickle retard anyway. Don't overthink it - most importantly, it isn't really anything to do with you.
Say "fuck her", and move on.
Don't ask yourself "what did I do?" because that's not how it works.

Why do you say non westernised Korean girls?

This is probably bad advice, but my mum dying got me over the ex pretty quick

You'll still have those memories.
If you are meant to be with her, and you really are made for each other - then maybe somewhere down the line you'll be back together.
I don't think so though, from what you've said here. It sounds like she was probably a bit of a party girl, you said she drinks a lot, and probably isn't happy with herself.

No matter what, focus on yourself - there is some good advice in this thread. Learning another language is a sound idea.
If that place bothers you, make new memories in it. Invite friends over, have parties or gatherings. Maybe a good thing would be to set an objective that you want to move out of there and find a new place for yourself.
That means a new goal, saving money and finding a place to move to.
Maybe a new job if you want. No harm in looking or applying.

I would say that that she's very fickle and it's a rebound, he's less attractive than me and just listen to her.
It's hard to say fuck her because she actually tried to keep things together for a fair while, I was just being difficult and not confident in myself enough. I feel like over analysing everything that happened with her will make me more aware for then next girl, but it also does get exhausting

Yeah, as I suspected it's also because she's just unstable- that's almost always the case when someone up and leaves in a relationship. No sensible person would ditch one bf for another right away.

You should definitely get into dancing. Try at home first with some afro-latin funk and just swing and feel it out. You just have to take the vibe of the song and transmute it into your body

She isn't happy with herself, extremely insecure. Advice appreciated

not that poster but hey have no frame of reference for white men and hold asian values. they're easier to tie down than western women

Yeah one step forward three steps bad I think

Well man, you know the answer then.
Work on things which will naturally build your confidence in a solid way.

These in general are, overcoming your fears on a regular basis, and doing constructive and challenging things.
Learn dancing, practise in your house like this guy says, maybe go to classes for a few months, ask older women to help teach you in some quieter clubs.
It is something you aren't confident about, and are a bit scared of - so confront it. You will feel better in that regard afterwards.
You don't know what will happen in the future, so stay in the present for now. Analyse the past to some extent, but don't spend all your time there. It is good to introspect as long as you don't become stuck in loops, and you apply what you learn in the present.

What're some cons about asian values.. Superficial shit?..

Not much you can do about that then man, maybe in time she'll work on herself too.
Remember, if you ever feel like nothing is quite how you'd like it to be - you can move to somewhere totally new, with a new job and new opportunities.
If the new place doesn't suit you and you still don't like it after a few months, you can always move back or go somewhere different again.
It can really build confidence to do that. First few months are the adjustment period.

Cheers for the advice. Hearing someone else say it seems to resonate with me more.
Occasionally some pretty hot girls body language tells me that they find me attractive, I've only just stared getting looks from girls in the last year or so and I'm 24. I'm too much of a coward to ask any out, I don't know how.

Hey man, you've seen the signals, so just give them a smile and see if they smile back.
Try chatting with them, just have conversations and become better at that. You don't have to ask them out right away.
24 is young and there's a lot of learning ahead. All of life is practice. Socialising, dancing, dealing with girls - all improves little by little as you do it more.
When you feel like doing something, or saying something, or speaking to a girl - just do it.
Don't hesitate or think about it, just say "hi" and smile. They're just people.

get a gym memebership. Spend 1-2 hrs a day there. good place for self improvement and meerting bros. when you are lookong nice and fit it will give you better selection of women. Make your yourself a 9 or 10 then date a 7 or 8. then you have security around your women.

How can I have that security with them in ways that doesn't depend on looks? She said I was the most attractive guy she's dated before which was 5. I was too good for her I think played on her insecurities a lot but still led her to leave me not the other way around. I'm kinda glad she hurt me instead of me hurting her, unconditional love for ya. I still do it's not like a switch for me like it seemed to be for her..

If she found a new guy in 3 weeks she was already talking to him before you guys broke up. No chick leaves a relationship unless they've either been approached by someone or have approached someone else and they hit it off. I guarantee it

become a fucking lion

That's so fucked up that it's true. It was with some guy friend she used to go out on the town with with her other friends. The first time she introduced me to him he shit himself when he saw me which I didn't expect. Fucking hell she really isn't the person she convinced me to belive she was this whole time. I guess I can't trust pretty and insecure chicks at all which makes honest sense when I say it out loud anyway. Fucking whore God dammit

They're terrified of being alone. It's not really ever a weakness for them though

You are learning for the future man, most likely she didn't do anything at all with this guy before you broke up - so don't think that way.
But they do tend to have emotional back ups - not all of them, but the insecure ones.
Don't let it make you paranoid for the future, that just fucks things up.
You'll know the warning signs to look for now, that type of girl.

As for the guy who shit himself, that was probably his own fear or guilt from what he had in his mind - girls are often clueless. That she didn't find it weird and wasn't nervous shows that either she is Hannibal Lecter level psycho, or she didn't feel she was doing anything wrong and that he was just a friend at the time.

>who you thought was the love of your life
You shouldn't take things too seriously. Your only setting yourself up to fail.
What happens happens. Nothing in life lives forever. All things must die.

>good place for self improvement and meerting bros
I'd say it is more for this and a lot healthier to go for this reason than for looks.
I like feeling strong and confident in my abilities, being bigger is a side effect.

Sometimes you can feed a girl's insecurities - but if she doesn't have problems she will overcome that and realise that you like her for who she is. Sounds like this girl had problems.

You don't have to become huge in a gym, you can just optimise yourself a bit, give yourself challenges and beat them. For me it felt good to exercise and lift weights because I feel I am mastering my body. That feeling came after a while. Also helps you to know yourself, and it opens opportunities that crop up in life.
Maybe you will feel like doing some new sports that require a bit more fitness, or a part of your lifestyle will change in some way.

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Lay down on the floor and cry. After a while realize she's just stupid hoe and laugh about it. Stand up and continue with your life.