I'm dealing with depression and anxiety for almost 6 years, and it's getting worse. No matter what I've tried...

I'm dealing with depression and anxiety for almost 6 years, and it's getting worse. No matter what I've tried , it seems to be alright for a few days but then depression kicks back in. It's like there's someone inside my head that's constantly trying to make me feel like shit.
Is there any drug that can help? Im tired of this shit. And no, I won't kill myself. I don't want my mom to suffer.
I just wanna know how you fags deal with this.

i've been feeling like this for years, user. i quit smoking weed and popping pills for about 2 years now and honestly it makes me feel different. i had the same thoughts just like you, "i dont want to kill myself, i dont want my family, friends, and boyfriend to feel like shit."
best thing to do is to get help, go to a psych ward,, group therapy worked for me really good because everybody will listen to you, makes you feel appreciated and not alone. if you really want some help dont worry about calling a suicide hotline and get tips about it.

dont try to get into doing drugs, not gonna help, just gonna get worse. i've had two friends overdose on heroin (started off years ago with weed and pills like me), then one last year, my #1 best friend committed suicide because she never got help.

try to talk to someone, let off some steam, write about your day in a journal, paint something abstract, do something to get your mind off of the shitty thoughts that roam your thoughts at the dead of night. it sucks dealing with this stuff.

I started to write about my day, but most of it it's just painfully sad to read.
It's so fucking hard to open up to someone. I don't want people to treat me differently because of it. I try to act cool when Im at work or home, I don't think they know or care about what I'm going through. I keep all these to myself.

Sounds similar to how I felt. Research bipolar disorder type 2

Find something to keep yourself busy. Gym worked for me

Never heard about type 2 but now that I just googled it, it seems pretty close to how I feel.
Is it really necessary to seek professional help?

exercise
kratom
sunlight
healthy eating

pick something and make it a thing in your life, if life is already hell a little more pain to stave off the future torment is nothing. Its all about staying engaged with the world (not your overly anxious mind) and sticking with things. No one can really fix this for you but yourself.

There's a difference between who you are and who you think you are. Who you think you are technically isn't real, but an invention. Our minds are conditioned by literacy, a man made tool. A trick then, is to realize that you can control language, rather than have it control you.

Additionally, mindfulness is pretty helpful in getting out of your head. For me, I say to myself, "I am my environment" and I focus on immediate senses: what do I see, what am I hearing, what is my body feeling, breathe. This tends to snap me into the present and out of my head

>There's a difference between who you are and who you think you are.

ya that thing called the subconscious?

I started to eat healthy and exercise but when I'm alone in my room my thoughts keep haunting me.

That's what is hardest for me. I just can't get out of my head.

ya its because you are alone in your room where you always spend time self examining yourself, watch what happens next time you are thinking bad, walk out of the room into another environment and watch how your perspective changes, its pretty crazy. The power of the subconscious is insane. In regards to what to do don't try to fight it or anything or repeat silly mantras, just let thoughts go through you like water and pick and choose what you like, I always look at thinking as possibility and not totality or at least try to. Also try to keep yourself engaged in other shit, try to get a hobby or just something autistic that you enjoy to pass the time/get your brain off things. If you aren't working definitely get a job or maybe try to work more assuming you dont loathe your job/its not the source of problems. Idle time just results in self examination I find.

This shit is not easy at all so don't expect it to be but it is possible to break out of it and enjoy life, you practically have to fight for it though depending on who you are and what exact issues you are having. Everyone is different though and not everything works for everyone. You really are going to have to explore the potentials of what to do yourself and find what works for you.

Also I would really recommend meditation more so as a break for your mind and your psyche, its probably the most calming thing you can do without chemical intervention. I personally find it very hard though to actually properly meditate, it takes practice.

Cannabis is the cure for everything.

no its really not

its fucking useful sometimes though

I tried NPL and affirmations, it worked for a couple of weeks. I'll try meditation.
And you're right, I should get a hobby so I can keep my mind busy

Not necessarily. Can get dependent on it for your happiness. Then your tolerance keeps getting higher and higher, then it does nothing for you becoming a waste of money and you sink into a further depression because you have been keeping dopamine levels too high for too long, bringing a dip.

this, homeostasis is a bitch

Also with depression myself but if I surround myself with friends I'm better, if you have someone you can talk to or some friend you will definitely feel better, you need to talk to somoeone and I mean a friend if you have one, I wish you luck and send you a hug, user.

I basically realized that if I cannot act to make myself happy I'll work to make the people I care about happy

I have friends, but I just don't feel comfortable talking about this with them, I don't want them to treat me differently.

Former depressed guy here. I would be lying if I said psychedelics didn't help, but I won't advocate drug use to fix things. I went to therapy, took meds. etc. nothing worked. But then I realized I was living a lie. The person I was living as was a social construct I made up. How I thought I should be. I kept trying to trick myself into being happy when I was in social settings but I just wasn't. Then I realized I needed to stop being a people pleaser and just do what makes me happy. Erase everything you think you know about yourself and start over. What makes you happy? Focus on that.

I tried to start over, erase everything that was making my life miserable. But eventually I ended up where I begun.
Any advice to avoid this?

got a bad case of depression and anxiety too. what stresses me out the most is how long I could hide it from my family. what actually keeps me going on is that I take comfort in the thought that if things got really unbearable, I have something in my safe that I can use as an "emergency exit".

I know its twisted, but having the tool to end my own misery at any time I want gives me some boost of confidence in my daily living.

Brazillian J-Jitsu fixed the majority of my problems going back 20 years.