So what can I do to prepare myself for childbirth?

So what can I do to prepare myself for childbirth?
I thought if I practiced insertion, it would help, but my last thread I made on the topic, everyone started calling me a fork, or were asking for more cartoons.
Please stay on topic this time, how do I prep for releasing babies?

A fork?

Just kill yourself, then you will feel no pain from releasing your parasitic spawn into this retched world

Tits or gtfo

...

I don't know, some assholes think I'm a fork or something. They obviously don't have brains.

you fucking fork

What the fuck does that even mean?

Fork

I think they don't understand how forks work. They go in the mouth, they can't type on internet.
Also, fuck off will ya? Already had to deal with
that other thread being derailed, I want to know
what to do. Forks aren't sentient to type. Nor
can they respond to people over internet.
You can't fucking talk to a fork because it has
no mouth to speak with.

you can have orgasmic births,they sound less painful,but i think that requires a partner you love,and a bathtub. how is your relationship with the father?

Fork

and some pliers

Fork.

> how is your relationship with your father
ftfy

Fuck both y'all
And fuck you especially, I know you were in that last thread,

Tits time stamp

>So what can I do to prepare myself for childbirth?
You can't, your hormones change enough to allow your pelvic ligaments to become elastic, there is no way to duplicate this level of body deformation.

Call your local abortionist, or save money and use a fork on yourself.

...

Get that dildo dragon out and fork me hard baby

Buy a fake baby shove it in your ass

You're supposed to use the fork on the unborn fetus ya dumb cunt!

If you're a single mother, than have fun finding decent guys who'll date you. Because you won't.

I'd highly suggest not getting a child pregnant , you'll go to prison.

Listen, I am not a fork, and I am not shoving
forks into my holes. Honestly, if I was a fork, I
wouldn't be asking this question because
a) Forks can't type
b) Forks can't have babies
And forks are too pokey to shove up my baby
hole, so there's no way I'll be doing that any
time soon. So you two can both just fuck off

How about pliers? They aren't pokey plus they'll enlarge your baby hole

Tits

I was told to try using progressively larger dildos.

How big is ur pussy

Pliers will do fine, cheaper than dildos too

My bf says it's very tight, but that might be because I was a virgin before I met him.

Pliers aren't as smooth though.

post it and we can tell you

I was stretching my wife's hole with inflatable plug. A lot of insertions and fisting.
Childbirth without tearing or cuting.