Ok here is the point. Im 36yo and the last time i had sex was when i was 20yo so now tell me just one thing...

Ok here is the point. Im 36yo and the last time i had sex was when i was 20yo so now tell me just one thing. How do i get pussy as soon as possible? No rape no paysex no tinder. So?

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Meet a girl and ask them out. Your standards are probably just too high

socialize. cut down on your standards.

those are the main inhibitors of sex.

Sex is overrated

find a chill chick that has some of the same interests and then just go with the flow. dont be too "desperate".
try thinking that its not just something you put your dick inside of

Talk to a lot of women. Eventually one will want to fuck. Then fuck her.

you will have to fuck a 300-400 pound ugly whale she may or may not be a ingle mother. thats the fastest way

step 1 go to gym
step 2 eat properly
step 3 repeat 1 and 2 untill fit
step 4 learn social skills
step 5 socialize
step 6 get lucky

go to a bar / club and talk to women, if you are decent looking it works if not ... well.

IDK lol

Just ask for it?
Not verbally, but behave like a sexually available man.
Everybody likes sex. Men and women alike.

It's as Oscar Wilde said;
Everything in this world is about sex, except sex. Sex is about power.

OP, you have to do is marathon in the car and the last thing I need is the only way I know how much you are the only one I have to go tell me about it and I will be a little bit late for me physically and I will likely be the best way to go about this but it is a good time?

Sex a hooker, don't pay.

try without rubber.

Solid advice.

this. this so much. for anyone wondering, this is the true secret. but you have to be willing to fuck the person who wants to fuck you.

This guy gets it

I have

bullshit. a lot of fit as fuck geeks are just buffing up without getting laid.

being fit helps, but socializing is the number one trick.

try with a woman.

Backpage. Or I've had good luck in the psych ward as well.

Wut???

Hire an escort or a prostitute. I'll probably never get laid without paying for it, so that's what I'm gonna do.

What have you got against paying? I mean you haven't got laid in 16 fucking years, maybe it's time to quit clinging to "rules" and just get your dick into someone - prostitutes, fatties, uggos, whatever it takes.

The psych ward $$$

Really i wanna check it out. But do i just go there as a visitor or as a patient? How are you allowed to talk to the hot ones anyway? Arent they already been occupied by the sadistic and sick sexobsessed caretakers?

>no rape
>no paysex
>no tinder
sounds like you dont want sex

You near London? 16y/o virgin desperate to lose virginity to an older guy

No shit

here's your opportunity op, hope little boys are ok

I just dont know man. In my area all the whores are ugly and old. Wouldnt pay a dime to those disease ridden cum dumpsters. Maybe some high class escort service for several hundreds of dollars but its not stimulating me enough. So i end up once again fapping and thats it was. But i like the idea with the psych yard i seek something for longer than just a few hours. Even they are crazy though kek gonna try it out

oh, hello.

see op, it wasn't that difficult

Easy, this worked for me after a long draught -

Step 1) Realize that sex won't chase you or present itself perfectly to you.
Step 2) For confidence, regardless of your current stature, exercise, eat healthier, go outside and shit. It'll change your mind and perspective - others will notice your mindset change and possibly appearance change.
Step 3) Bulletproof coffee every morning. MCT oil is a huge help mentally and physically.
Step 4) Pygeum supplements and Lecithin supplements. Makes you jizz like a volcano (if you up your water intake as well) and that'll help you out comfidencewise as well.

The most important step is...

Step 5: fucking kill yourself faggot. It took you 15 years of no sex to work on whatever kept it from you? You're better off dead.

Fucking suffer while you're at it - even gay people and traps find a way to get their rocks off.

found the projecting one

getting fit is bullshit. it's all about socialising. I'm 180cm 90kg and not that good looking but I still have women coming up to me at bars. you really don't have to be anywhere near fit.

lie

Oh you mean woman like that go for you?

fuck this I'm getting on a plane.

no I mean last friday I was at a bar and accidentally bumped into a fit 19 year old teen and next I end up spending the rest of the night with her after some shots. Will remember to get pix next weekend coz none of you belive me right now.

Go to the hospital, tell them you're suicidal, have a plan and already made the noose. They'll send you off to a short term ward for evaluation. Go after the girls - in my experience they're horny as fuck, boredom and loneliness are a great combination, so they're receptive, especially to someone who isn't fucked up like the rest of the freaks in there. There's always been at least one fuckable chick, proceed as normal. Talk to her, pretend to be interested in whatever, play cards with her. If she's too fucked up to function like that just tell her she's cute and start touching her, then if she responds well keep going.

I too want a good fuckable bitch who will stay with me and you realationship and shit. Not a fucktoy for a night overpriced and dirty. Just like OPs girl in the pic.

also I'm Finnish and I've heard it's easier up here but dunno

best fucking plan boi

What about the staff and workers there? will they even let me talk to girls in the first place? What if i get seperated or it is gender seperated? In this case i would be healed in an instant

brb gonna go do some research about the medical system.

You're scared of something. Maybe you've had a possesive gf in the past and you're afraid of getting into a similar situation.

Did you just wake up from a coma, or are you just extremely socially retarded?

Sexual Predator/10

This whole plan is pretty predator and you are literally exploiting someone so you can have sex... which in your theory makes you totally fucking awesome.

I have a better idea: why not just realize that your self worth is more than just if you have sex and that just because you have sex doesn't mean you are now valid and totally a real man.

Seriously just hit on every girl you see. Married girls are the sluttiest.
If 10 percent are dtf, then you have puss for life.

Sauce on OP's pic

All we need is a wet hole everytime we get horny

Hey retard, maybe OP is just tired of watching porn and would prefer having sex. Go on with your lame armchair psychology. Not everyone that wants to have sex is looking for validation drydick.

you took out the three easiest methods of getting laid you idiot.

You'll actually have to leave your house or try PoF or OKcupid.

The nurses and tech will try to keep you apart, but just find a place without cameras like the bathroom and fuck there, or get her info and hook up when you're out. I've never seen a segregated one, they're all coed for short term afaik.

What I love is how completely vile that sounds.

Well, I'm going to be honest with you, if OP was just tired of jacking off, he wouldn't have come to and online website seeking with desperation for advise on how to "get the sex".

Even still, let's say he is, having sex or finding someone open to the idea really isn't that difficult. There are plenty of opportunities that don't involve exploiting some and not giving a fuck about that persons well being.

I'm just saying, pretending you are a crazy fucker to get into a psych ward to prey on women who have some issues is pretty fucked up. If you have to go that far, there is something honestly wrong with you.

Ol thanks for that. Im gonna try it out

>still live with mom
>impossible to bring home girls or pretend like im independent

Assuming you can get to Germany and are STI-free:

>Alles Ohne (all without condom) parties are fairly common, in which one or two girls have sex with a lot of guys
>Unprotected sex with prostitutes is technically illegal but they film it as porn to get around that
>So long as you don't mind the smell and feel of other punters cum (it takes getting used to, the first time is the worst) then you can have a lot of fun
>I've done it over a dozen times so far, fucking regular prostitutes and escorts doesn't come close
>As a proof of concept I'm one of the guys in the following video: pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph57619c31828d8
>Be warned that there's always a risk that someone might find out, though the chance is very slim

Pic related - I found this one in a psych ward like a month ago, she was there for being off her meds and threatening her parents or some shit. She had some acne going on in the hospital, but it went away once we both got out - I mention this because no one really looks great when they're there, but they do clean up nicer once they get out and can put on makeup though.

Whats wrong with a deranged girl from the psych ward? The best thing is you could be able to control her. Just take her home like a takeaway and you got your girlfriend on your side. Ok she might kill you in the night with a knife for no obvious reason but that AFTER many rounds of sex.

Woohoo the psych ward definitely is a hidden treasure

No thanks. Thats not what i would like

It doesn't matter. The idea here is that She's in the ward for having some kind of emotional/psychology issue. You are Preying upon her and exploiting her life or where she happens to be in her life at that moment simply so you can, "get sex".

>Oh man! An easily exploitable emotionally vulnerable chick!
> Yeah!! I getz the sex for freez with her!!

>Oh man! A drunk chick passed out in the room!!
>OOOh yeah, I'm Gettin the SeXzz tonight!

>Oh man! A vulnerable small child!
>Getting the Sexxxx tooonight!

>Oooh Man!! A drunk and emotionally distressed dude is passed out at a party!!
>Getting the Brown Hole Tonight!!

Any of these cases and more are fucking wrong and you are a predatory in this situation.

She looks so Finnish, where are you from?

Kek

Alabama

^this tbh