Shitty lonely sunday

>Shitty lonely sunday
>tons of time to reflect and think instead of keeping apartment tidy
>Realizing best years are behind me
>The days where I was a care free teenager
>Biking around city with best friend
>getting into mischief
>Don't give a shit about the future
>Only care about the now
>No smart phones
>No cell phones
>Just freedom
>All behind me
>Relishing in my newly found freedom
>Fucking, partying, living life
>Future is now on my mind, but feeling of invincibility makes me think everything will work out and fall into place
>Everything is awesome
>I am TRULY free
>Be now
>31 years old
>Getting fat, always tired, underpaid working unfulfilling job where I make other people rich
>Watching people die (Friends, family, co-workers)
>Only death in my future

Now I'm sitting on my couch, in my one bedroom apartment, drinking cheap whisky and listening to Nujabes...HOW WAS YOUR FUCKING SUNDAY?

Not as bad as yours OP. What made you give up?

I've always known this really.
But I think with seasonal depression, drinking and being alone for the past while has allowed me to reflect on these thoughts

Max dubs checked. Yeah the holidays are rougher, everyone is doing the family thing while you plan meals for one.
Drinking when sad is usually not helping being sad, but you prolly already know this.
Eh , find a hobby, find something you like doing. It's how I get by

Stop doing what you're doing. I mean it's not working out so try something new. I know that's not how depression works but it's worth trying.

Easier said then done brah
I'm medicated for the more severe instances of this shit I put up with, but I've already pigeonholed myself into the situation I'm in (At least career wise) and I'm pretty tied done financially to that.
So unless my debt suddenly disappears, I gotta keep doing what I'm doing. But I guess that's life right?
People leave your life, they disconnect, they move on. It's just something I have to come to terms with. The past is in the past, but still feels shitty as hell.

At 31 you have more a did more than me (31 too).

I'm 25 OP. Already feel the same. I don't have aspirations to be a rich suit. I don't feel sad about my loneliness really. Not even sure that I "gave up". What did I give up on exactly?

As long as I pass my genetics and find peace within myself in the present what else is there? I miss the feelings of freedom and dreams but, I could quit my job tomorrow and be free. My old dreams were shallow and silly.

Nothing is stopping you or me from reliving the old feelings and being free. The problem is, those things have come and gone. You could emulate them, but the feeling is no longer there.

What is it you want from life? I feel numb but not bad. I just no longer "feel" like I used to.

Is this a crybaby thread or are we gonna figure out how to live again?

Didn't see daylight again because I'm a middle aged alcoholic night owl. Haven't had a decent job in years, failed musician, liver issues from drinking, no real friends only people I know in passing, no wife or kids, no family left in the city where I live other than my parents who are getting quite old now. Been on awful bender this month that has only made things worse yet somehow it's hard to want to care enough to stop. See it could always be worse.

I think I know how to live again but my nasty habits are hard to break. I'm definitely too numb for the crybaby shtick at this point though.

Being a night owl is fun. Being a drunk, no so much. Fix that shit man. Easier said than done, but you don't know the good feels on the other side. Its a journey with no reward until the end.

I've been alone all day too. I got so bored that I went for a drive just to get out of my head.. don't know what to do other than surf the chan and watch tv for background noise. Idk if i should pour myself a drink rn or smoke the last bit of my kief left and listen to music or something

Been trying to fix that shit for 15 years now. And I kinda miss the daylight.

You know it's an interesting concept. Taking your life in your own hands sorta speak (Forging your own destiny), but I believe that part of that is down to chance. You can only do so much with the cards your dwelt. Even in Texas Holdem, you have to wait for something to be drawn by the dealer to win your hand. And I think this speaks to life itself.
It's all apart looking at your hand and realizing that you need to wait for a chance to come around to take control of it to win...It's a random chance that sometimes...People don't get.

I agree it could be worse user...but we're all fighting our own pain in our own way. Doesn't diminish the pain of someone else...Just different ways of dealing

Cut back slowly on the drinking. Eat sugar to keep sanity. Slowly fix sleep cycle. 1 hour and 1 drink at a time.

Do this for 6 months.

Well you aren't gonna find a good chance whining on an anime image board. Study the occult. You can will desire into reality.

>Getting fat, always tired, underpaid working unfulfilling job where I make other people rich

These are all things you can change.

If you want the reward, you gotta put the effort in.

Existential pain is tricky. I have no easy answers for that as I have it too and more so the older I get. I'm hoping that maybe one day I'll hit this sort of who gives a fuck moment and the dark cloud will lift.

Been thinking I would cut back slowly all month but it just turned into a bender.

lol you guys are all so weak willed. Become a satanist and gain personal power. At least use your negativity, which you all seem to have plenty of

I noticed that nujabes album cover and clicked right away. Do u listen to him

Schizophrenia.

Listening to Sky is Falling right now and been listening to a good playlist for him.

He was taken too soon man...

>HOW WAS YOUR FUCKING SUNDAY?

I bought a chile relleno on my way home. Delicious. Best part of the day. With habanero salsa. I was blissed out.

I've always found it kinda funny just how comforting good food can be. Like I didn't have any of this shit on my mind when on friday I treated myself to a nice, top sirloin steak that I grilled (rare of course) with some pan fried perogies and veggies and was in total bliss. Probably why I'm getting so fat haha, using food to make me happy

......Sean?

Nope not sean

stuck an onion up my ass today
layers

Go travelling Sup Forumsro, reinvent yourself in a new country, go to jamaica and live on a farm, buy a house in ghana, live on a boat in vietnam