Someone tells me he "plays" an instrument

>someone tells me he "plays" an instrument
>he can't play all of his major/minor scales and arpeggios fluidly and effortlessly, improvise proficiently in a jazz setting, and play at least three pieces from the instrument's classical repertoire

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You can't do it either

Outside of the jazz improv part, these are totally normal expectations of someone who plays an instrument, unless they are still learning (less than 3 months of experience)

Then they are "learning an instrument"

>someone tells me he "plays" an "instrument"
>there are no pieces written for this "instrument" in the classical repertoire

there is no such thing

oh, please point me toward the pieces written specifically for electric bass guitar then, an instrument invented decades after the end of the common practice period

>in a jazz setting
sorry I don't play black music

>an instrument invented decades after the end of the common practice period
huh, Stravinsky died in 1971

>Someone complains about my proficiency at instrument I am able to play.
>remind them there is no objective definition of anything and we have no idea why we're alive.

he write anything for electric bass?
the common practice is generally agreed to have ended around the turn of the 20th century. composers were (and still are) still writing in traditional forms, but standard tonality as The rule was on its way out.
people continuing to write "classical" music doesn't automatically make a repertoire of notable pieces for electric bass exist

tfw post-african repetitions

sorry i'm not a gay autismo i play music to get chicks

There's always playing the bass parts by figuring out which is which (tuba or trombone in a brass ensemble, cello in a string quartet...); it's not the easiest thing in the world and you might have to try out some non-standard tuning if push comes to shove, but it's definitely possible.

>playing electric bass guitar but not also string bass

there's your problem

>playing music to get chicks
I'm fairly sure they can see right through it.

>he can't play La Bamba
Leaves me dry as fuck, desu.

sure, but OP's talking about the classical repertoire written for the specific instrument

not the dumb ones

why would I play upright bass, I'm in it for sex, drugs, and rock n'roll, not art

Eh, fair enough. Kind of a workaround, though not being able to read music sheet is inexcusable. But I can give you that it's winging it.

Not too much of a fan of that because my experience with that sort of girl has just been ending up with some pretty heartless sex and an odd feeling of emtpyness, but, hey, you do you.

but the stylophone has no classical repertoire

kek, just transcribe music written for totally different instruments in the same pitch range

You think I am some kind of faggot? I play music to piss people off.

Very punk of you

If someone calls me out on my lack of finesse at guitar I just say "it's punk rock it's not supposed to be good"

What would be saxophone's classic repertoire?

In my experience most students start to easy jazz tracks, big band and, at least in my country, bossa nova and chorinho

no gatekeeping please, if people play an instrument, however shitty they might be, they're playing it.
if they wanna tell people what theyre doing with their free time theyre allowed to tell em theyre playing that instrument.

I suggest you accustom yourself to the taste of semen.

pretty sure there's plenty of romantic/impressionist/expressionust pieces for saxophone out there

>2017
>he doesn't eat cum
lmao @ your life

>eats cum
>isn't famous
Got any excuses?

yeah, I don't eat my own cum though.

the only instrument i can think of is the theremin

There are a bunch of saxophobe concertos and shit. What do you think top level classical sax players do?

If you can't play flute and clarinet, nobody's going to give a shit about you except kosher funk and white guy reggae bands.

Punk is fucking dead and buried. It's time to fyre up the goddamn sequencer. HEIL HITLER!

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