Canadian Sup Forumsartender Fag here

Canadian Sup Forumsartender Fag here,

Any questions. tips, jokes, killer stories for me while I wind down after a shift?

Any drink recipe talk can go fuck itself....

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chapters.indigo.ca/en-ca/books/the-12-bottle-bar-a/9780761174943-item.html?mkwid=s_dc&pcrid=197328790699&pkw&pmt=b&s_campaign=goo-DSA Books Best Sellers&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI8KeKuf_W1wIVT1x-Ch0HvwGREAAYAiAAEgIU8fD_BwE
amazon.ca/Bar-Book-Elements-Cocktail-Technique/dp/145211384X
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Why are ceasars so fucking disgusting?

Have you ever just beat your moose meat from behind the bar to the hot milfs standing on the other side and blew your timmies creamer in a shot glass and served it

Not everyone's cup of tea I guess.

I like em in a short glass, spicy, accompanied with a nice lager.

How do I get your attention in a crowded bar?
I don't have tits.
Also apple juice, ginger, lime, and ginger ale. What booze mixes best with this? Srry

I have banged a few waitresses and a couple customers.

We need a sex move called the "Double Double".

How do I get you to pour me a double without paying for a double?

Frig eh

It's all about that first impression man. I know everyone standing there wants to get served.

So when you finally get asked,

1.) Know what you want.
Everyone has stood behind that faggot at a fast food joint for 10 minutes, and then when he gets to the front of the line he hasn't even looked at the menu? Fuck that guy. If we're dead, maybe we can talk about new drinks or suggestions, but if it's Fri/Sat kinda busy, move your ass.

2.) Have your payment method ready. Cash is king. Ya, we can probably screw a little more with our taxes, so we love it, but its also the fastest. If you are forced to use plastic. Use it once per night.

3.) I have a penis, and you have a penis. I'm at work, and I don't have time for the macho game. Just talk to me like a human, dude.

Be awesome, and you'll get noticed.

If you don't know my last name, I'm not even considering robbing my boss for you. Fuck off and pay for your own drinks.

Ever kill anyone? Like they drunk drove after you fed them drinks and they killed themselves or someone else?

Stories about cutting people off? Got any good ones op?

Not that I know of. Totally possible I suppose.

You'de be amazed at the amount of airline flight crew I've been wasted with until the early hours of the morning. Mostly flight attendants (both men and women) but a few pilots for suuuuure.

I work At a small town bar in louisiana. These faggot bikers came in one day and asked me for a sex on the beach. I told him i dont make that shit. He get mad. Tell him the boy bars are in lafayette

Always thought that all pilots are drinks was just bullshit. Wonder why they drunk so much. So do you have a disdain for alcohol since you work with it? Like someone who works at a pizza place hates to eat pizza.

I cut off a monster of a man one time and he lost his mind.

Problem was, it was early in the day and there was basically no one in the pub except him, myself, and and old lady accountant. He was getting violent and so I slapped him in the face and took off running.

This mountain of douche chased me out the door and all the way around the building. Thankfully he did NOT have a runner body and he had been drinking.

I beat him to the door, ran inside and locked it. The accountant was already on the phone with the police.

chapters.indigo.ca/en-ca/books/the-12-bottle-bar-a/9780761174943-item.html?mkwid=s_dc&pcrid=197328790699&pkw&pmt=b&s_campaign=goo-DSA Books Best Sellers&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI8KeKuf_W1wIVT1x-Ch0HvwGREAAYAiAAEgIU8fD_BwE

amazon.ca/Bar-Book-Elements-Cocktail-Technique/dp/145211384X

Start Here

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Whiskey dude

Since you're Canadian and I'm an Amerifag who hasn't been to a bar outside of the United States, is it customary to tip You? Do you get paid a living wage? Here a beer, cheap shit drink/shot is $3-$4 and normally I would tip $20 at the end of the night if my drinks weren't empty long.

I'm a big tipper.
Would you poor me just a little extra or nah?

If they got cash or card in hand, they'll get attention
I don't mind rippin the same cards over n over, that's why I use fast tabs when it's busy..
It's the ones that don't rip I gotta type in that piss me the fuck off

You ever serve someone famous?
If so what did they drink?

I make minimum wage where I work. (I think you're bartenders make less than minimum.)

Tips are awesome, and they'll definitely you some leniency and privileges at some points in some places.

That being said, I try to give the best service I can to everyone, including the cheap cunts.

Once and awhile I might.

But no big dipper ever misspelled "pour"

MODS!!!!!!!!

Sorry Sup Forumsro checking ID is a hard habit to break.

Dude... it's the easiest drink ever...
You lazy bartenders. Piss me off.
I get behind the bar and you can't hold me, I show everyone I'm confident and I'm better than you could ever be. Bartending and cocktail construction is so fucking easy, all you gotta do is remember shit.

Not op, but you need people skills, charisma, and tits help too.

After busting your balls about >pour I realised I used the wrong version of >you're
fuck

How the fuck could you tell?
20 btw I could drink in CA

Not really, if anything I drink more since I'm tending
No op btw
I don't like shitty drunks tho, they make the alcohol look bad...

Agree, but cash is still my favourite child.

Fag, kys we serve beer and whiskey

Some kid gives you an id and you can tell it's fake. Kid is mature and well mannered.
Serve him or kick him out?

Kick him out, kids dont have money

I served George clinton and the Parliament funkadelic
George drank a glass of red wine. Cabernet I belive.
I also served soja, Chris Robinson from black crows, Robert plant of led zepplin, Joan jet... hm there may be more, I think about it.

Everyone thinks everyone else's job is easy.

Mine's not, yours isn't either.

Grow up.

Kick him out, but don't confiscate the ID. Send him somewhere I know are less diligent at checking. It's a win/win, I made a future customer, and if the other bar gets busted, Ill be seeing some of their customers.

How long have you been tending?
Probably not as long as I have with that attitude
6 yrs here, and I'm good at it so it's not that difficult...

Lol sorry j just realized that last part was for the kids who think it's easy..
Sorry I've been a little on edge recently. I got a work in 12 hrs haven't been to sleep yet

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I only get pissy about making blended drinks cuz we have a shit vlender... now if we had that island oasis tho... then it'd be cake...

What I do, specially if I have chunk ice, to get the drinks to blend better, more smooth, is put the ice in a clean plastic bag and smack it against the back bar a couple times, the you'll have chipped ice, it will blend easier then.

We bought a small slurpee machine and we run it with no flavour. Makes blended drinks unreal fast.

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That's pretty smart!
Man, I work in a hotel bar and they are kinda stingy when it comes to spending money. We don't get the blended drink request too often anyways. The bag method works okay for like 4 at a time tops.

What kinda bar do work in? Restaurant?

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Right now I'm working at kind of an old neighbourhood bar. Been around a long time. Switches between sports/karaoke at nights. Smaller town I moved to about 4 years ago. It's not bad.

Cool, at least that type of bar is consistent, and you know what you'll be getting into on a daily basis. Don't have the random wedding after party of like 50 people just showing up all at once.
I've never worked a club (too lound) but we have jazz in the lobby on Wednesdays . In some independent restaurants I've worked in we have music every Friday sat, so it's not too bad on the ears...
Gotta take care of those ears man... I know some good tenders that have pretty significant hearing loss.

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I always liked the old horseshoe design...

Always looks super cool, but what a disaster to stock. Go to the back, carry it out, repeat..... repeat.... repeat..... repeat....

>I like em in a short glass, spicy, accompanied with a nice lager.
Tric'd u in2 drink recipe talk, Noob.

You got me..... good one Farva.

>so I slapped him in the face and took off running
Lmfao

>lemme get a liter of cola

Lmao

Good thread

>License and registration... CHICKEN FUCKER, bBackAaWwww bawk bawk!

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Something that pisses me off is when it's busy and I make a pass and then dude turns around and starts asking people what they want...
I will straight up skip that douche and he'll have to wait till I come back. I don't tolerate that shit...
Also when they tell you one thing and they make it like they are done ordering so I start getting the drink, then they say another thing..."I'll have a whiskey n coke...(5 sec later)... Oh and a budweiser... (mofo..okay)... (7 seconds later) and a gin and tonic... (fuuuuuuuuuu)...

At this point I stop making everything and I look em straight in the eye, repeat everything they have ordered thus far and ask if there is anything else, at all they can think of that they want in addition...
God damn it, people need to know how to order drinks in a fuckin bar, bro!

I feel like I've eaten here.

Specially when it's BUSY

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Welp looks like thread dead.
Adios have a nice morning

>itt
>complete fags
Holy shet kys