>be me >early 30s >live alone basically as a recluse >go to work and come home every day >vaguely successful financially >occupy free time with hobbies, marijuana and VR porn >dislike most people and don't want to be around them >make efforts to go out when invited, but afterwards, feel like you blew it or weren't funny enough >generally feel like you don't belong anywhere >yet also feel really lonely all the time
I'm not exactly complaining; I'm just wondering if I'm going to end up regretting this down the road when the dementia kicks in and there's nobody to take care of me. But even if I thought this was a bad idea, I wouldn't know how to integrate into normie society. I'm just too much of a weirdo; always have been.
Just replace early 30s with mid 20s and weed with amphetamine and you just described my life too. In every social circle I enter I'm that weirdo. I enjoy being in good company time to time and they seem to like me, but in the end I yearn to be alone.
Gavin Adams
bro, are you me?
i think i'm pretty close to offing myself. i don't feel sad. just fed up. bored. dissatisfied.
Gavin Young
have you ever considered that you may be autistic? i did some online tests a year or so ago and discovered that i'm likely a high functioning autist. with this knowledge, a lot of all my memories suddenly made sense.
David Campbell
27 Paying a mortgage Solid Job Spend most nights on /b, playing vidya, and watching porn
Man, I think youll find out youre not in a minority here.
Connor Adams
Careful with those amphetamines!
I may indeed be you. >don't feel sad. just fed up. bored. dissatisfied. dat. feel.
Yes, and yes, high functioning autist according to the internets. I don't know what to do with this information though.
MY MAN
Jace Wright
where are you from?
Tyler Sullivan
meh used up several years of my life drinking, drugging and traveling
you always end up in the same place
Nathan Long
>mid 20s >college dropout >lucked into a p good blue collar job at a good company >things finally seem to be coming together >still hit with crushing lonliness from time to time
Landon Brooks
Just find another weirdo and hook up...geez.
Lincoln Young
that windows 95 nostalgia
Dylan Williams
oh my oh my, so much this
however I've become numb to the loneliness, but there must be more to this, uh existence
Aaron Butler
44 yo here same as you less marijuana and the "VR" You aren't a weirdo, you just don't fit in this so called "normal" society. But let's s get real, most of "normal" people are dumb and/or fucked in the head beyond recognition, and boring as hell with their small talk. So yeah don't worry, continue your path as you can and have fun with the trip, in the end we all reach the same destination.
Elijah Nguyen
I had thought I was finally numb to being alone but after getting a taste of normie life any stoicism I had is fuckin gone
Blake Rodriguez
I'd say once you do get dementia, that's when you neck yourself if you can remember to. Keep livin the good life until you can't remember it.
Brody Garcia
Isn't that what a weirdo is? Not saying it's a bad thing.
Luke Hughes
what is it like being so old?
Liam Gomez
yeah that's been my life for the last 3 years, since i've had to move away from all my friends.Not much luck with relationships. though i always seem to be talking to some girl or another. Spend my nights smoking weed, playing the vidya online, and drinking on the weekends.Decided reccently that its time to get out some and attempt to live before i hit 35 and realize ive pissed my 20s away in a 1 bedroom apartment alone
Ayden Scott
Well for the people you don't beyond with, for sure, buit it's just name calling. We are always the weirdo and/or the asshole for someone else that don't like your way of living.
Cooper Morris
Nothing special in fact. As long as you maintain your health, it's just another year on the odometer.
Alexander Robinson
Fkin losers
Joseph Morris
but your life is almost over? dont you think about it all the time?
Lucas Adams
Grew up in Michigan (US), now in Los Angeles.
Girls take up so much fucking time though. I'm kind of sick of them except for sex.
hello frand
>after getting a taste of normie life any stoicism I had is fuckin gone This is definitely a problem. When I DO hang out with people, seeing how easily they "work" with each other can be hard to shake for a while.
I'm happy you commented. Thank you for your viewpoint. What do you do when you get lonely?
A lot of the "non-normal" people I look up to are getting older now; people like R. Stevie Moore and Tonetta. And reading about their health problems and how they really don't have anybody in their old age is really starting to make me worry.
Lincoln Jones
I have the same where a lot of my past experiences could be explained if i was actually diagnosed with autism.
The results of my tests however say its more likely im a sociopath/psychopath because i dont have a hard time identifying peoples emotions and dont have any degree of anxiety when being around other people.
If these things apply to you as well you might wanna get tested for that.
Dominic Baker
I'm pretty happy being a recluse, I'm not a total loner as I have friends over often but I rarely go out anymore, the problem is I need a job now or to try and earn some neet bux
Isaiah Clark
normie get out
Owen Stewart
my grandma lived alone most of his life, she is now in a caring home.
Luis Collins
just make something that makes other people happy without interacting directly with them, thats how a lot of jewtubers live and you can make some ad revenue in the process.
Eli Johnson
Sounds like have self esteem issues dude you should talk to someone about working on it
Juan Russell
same here, just different age an no VR. i feel embarrased just to be alive sometimes. i feel like everything i do is an inconvenience to someone and i over analyze stuff way too much. turned to psychadelics recently and those have been helping with my depression but i really yearn for a companion. i have no strong relationships with anybody
Noah Bennett
Men, u just describe my life, work 24 hrs days in between, i fucking hate this.... but at least i have money to eat, and buy my cigarretes and alcohol.
Isaac James
Pretty much the same except I live with my girlfriend who wants to marry me and I want to break up with but too much of a pussy to do it.
Considering an hero lately
William Bennett
Hey faganon !!! >be me > mid20s > insulation keep me sane > mason raping mind or found my sanctuary? > go to work > stop thinking ONLY WHEN BREATH BY NOSE AND EXHALE BY MOUTH >CHECKM8
Kevin Cooper
>my grandma lived alone most of his life tell me more about your trap grandma
>just make something that makes other people happy without interacting directly with them One of my hobbies is recording music. I don't think it necessarily makes anyone happy, but that has been the idea. No ad revenue (I release my stuff free on Spotify, Pandora, etc; never really see much from that) but I make a lot at work so it's not a biggie.
I don't disagree with the low self-esteem. But at the same time, I feel it's a part of me, you know? I don't necessarily want to change who I am just to fit in. Maybe I'm looking at it wrong, but that's my feeling anyway.
>i feel like everything i do is an inconvenience to someone I know it's easier said than done, but please don't feel this way. I have known several people who have said similar things, and I've always thought "where did that come from?! you're no inconvenience!"
I do like those psychedelics. I don't like taking them alone, so I think that's why I'm more of a weed dude. But dat change of perspective is niiiice.
My last relationship of 4 years ended because she wanted to get married (first!) and THEN move in together. She was still living with her parents the whole time and I felt like she had more growing up to do first. She wasn't cool with putting more effort into herself, so we broke it off. I think back about how close I came to being stuck living with a woman I didn't want to live with anymore. I would have been just as much of a pussy, reasoning that I can't kick her out because she has no money and nowhere to go, blah blah blah.
sup dude. you got that there schizophrenia?
Nathan Adams
I wish I had schizophrenia, I would tha n igger feeding of the government while working for the Jew with my own magic
Carson Carter
>My last relationship of 4 years ended because she wanted to get married (first!) and THEN move in together. She was still living with her parents the whole time and I felt like she had more growing up to do first. She wasn't cool with putting more effort into herself, so we broke it off. I think back about how close I came to being stuck living with a woman I didn't want to live with anymore. I would have been just as much of a pussy, reasoning that I can't kick her out because she has no money and nowhere to go, blah blah blah.
Sounds familiar, I was supporting her while she was completing her PhD and had no income so ending it would have been extremely difficult for her. Coming up to 4 years as well. Was it mutual or did one of you end it?
Brody Martin
I think I might have some good news for you!
>I was supporting her while she was completing her PhD and had no income so ending it would have been extremely difficult for her. That sucks but I totally get it. Is she done with her PhD now? I imagine she's got a shit ton of student loans, but don't let yourself get stuck dealing with it if you're not happy anymore. Could you talk to her about needing more space, and suggest living separately "for a while?" That might offend her enough for a full break-up, and then you're free!
>Was it mutual or did one of you end it? It was more or less mutual. Basically she asked why we haven't gotten married yet, I told her we needed to live together first, and for that to happen, she would need a job and a car (she had neither). This was a problem because she didn't want to live in LA even though I need to because I actually work there. Kind of snowballed from there and we ended up agreeing that we wanted different things. We still text occasionally but it's kinda weird now.
The thing I don't get is this: she wanted to get married so that we would be together forever. I was open to getting married too (even though I see no benefit), honestly, but I wanted to take things slower and get married down the road.
So I was willing to be with her forever, which I always kind of thought was the main point of being married. I find it ironic that SHE wanted to get married but couldn't stand to be with me any longer unless that happened. Like, she wanted to be with me forever, but not for another year or two until I'm ready?
Jayden Kelly
The fact that she is so obsessed with getting married and you dont give a shit about it at all means the relationship wouldnt last. I mean, your values are in no way compatible.
Christopher Johnson
Exactly. What sucks is I was very clear when we started dating that I wasn't really looking to get married, and she "toootally felt the same way! marriage is antiquated!"
Don't know where that changed, but it isn't the first time this has happened to me either.
Parker Martin
i feel like i get to know and accept myself better. when i take acid alone. i take a look inside myself and forgive myself for some of my flaws. after awhile it fades but then i just drop again and i feel better for a couple weeks.
Lucas Bennett
That's awesome. Maybe I should try it again. I just know that when I used to do it more often with other people, when I would go off into the bathroom alone or something, I would really start to freak out about, like, "what purpose is my existence if I'm not being observed by anyone else" or something weird like that. I just wouldn't want that for six hours or something lol
Noah Cook
>That sucks but I totally get it. Is she done with her PhD now? Yes finished now, got a job earning decent money too. I still feel sorry for her because she also doesn't have any proper friends and wants to spend all her time with me. I've considered the living separately thing but I think it might just be dragging it out, better to just end it... I tried once but I backed down when she started crying and saying she loved me, I can't handle it.
>It was more or less mutual I don't understand it either, its like marriage and kids is a target that has been set for them, another box to tick. My friends are engaged, from my perspective they definitely should not be getting married but they all insist it is right for them. I understand where you're coming from, why does it matter if it happens now or in 5 years? So long as you're together, right?
Samuel Perez
She was probably very into you at the time, and still is. At the beginning of relationships people often turn into yes men, women as well. If she would've told you at the time she wanted to get married you maybe wouldnt have started dating in the first place, at least thats probably what she thought. Its a dick move and they usually expect they can drop these bombs in after a few years and get away with it, like an energy company raising their price.
Hudson Wright
Normie company is overrated. Most people are quite boring most of the time and it's better to be in good quality company for brief and spaced periods of time than having to suffer uninteresting people more often. It's not your fault user, you're doing it right.
Josiah Thompson
>another box to tick >why does it matter if it happens now or in 5 years? So long as you're together, right? YEP. You and I are on exactly the same page. OMG LETS GET MARRIED LOL
I don't know what to tell you about your situation, because I have the same problems with relationships. I feel so bad when I consider separating myself from the one person in the world who really loves me. Like finally someone appreciates me, why don't I appreciate them the same way?
It usually ends up in very stressful situations and painful breakups. Sorry, bro.
>She was probably very into you at the time, and still is. I'm sure you're right. But at least, when she acted like I was crazy, I knew that I was very upfront about the whole thing from the beginning.
Sebastian Sanders
>I feel so bad when I consider separating myself from the one person in the world who really loves me. Like finally someone appreciates me, why don't I appreciate them the same way?
Feel like I'm having a conversation with myself here, comforting to know other people have the same issues as you. I know what needs to be done really, just need to get the balls to actually do it.
