I'm planning on hanging myself by this week

i'm planning on hanging myself by this week
any tips on how to not fuck this up?
best knot?
best rope position?
do's and don'ts?

test it on a watermelon

Is it possible to persuade you to not kill yourself, OP?

I tried hanging myself about 2 weeks ago. I fucked up since the belt was too short and no proper position on where to hang it and then police were involved. I'm feeling pretty alright now even though nothing has changed.

watermelon doesnt have a neck you dumdum

Don't hang yourself. If you're going to kill yourself at least do something worthwhile with your life that leads to your death in the process. Damn, all these suicides without a purpose, damn.

The kind of knot that my best friend used on himself.

I had to bury a friend today OP. His name was Harvey and he offed himself just outside of his home yesterday.
I'm not going to just hit you up with unsolicited advice and lies of "people care about you." Just please don't make some stranger or friend out there have to bury your body.

If you want someone to talk to, just reply with your preferred method of communication, I'll try to see what I can hook up.

You condition your thoughts into reality, you could be a totally different person if you wanted to be, but hey keep being depressed and suicidal for no valid reason!

Best knot would probably be from a German Shepherd

Same here. Shit's fucking hard. Sending off a mate like that. I almost couldn't do it because seeing his face so peaceful filled me with a lot of shit.

nope im good user
am too lazy to type my sad boohoo story too (it's actually not sad it's more on the pathetic side)

> I fucked up since the belt was too short and no proper position on where to hang it and then police were involved.
so do you contact with the ground when you did it? or did you hang it somewhere in your ceiling?
i don't have anything i could hang the rope on my ceiling so i figured i'd do it on the doorknob or on my bed.

>do something worthwhile with your life
can't
even i want to i don't have time

i know that a few suicide "notes" were posted on Sup Forums so...

just dont kill yourself. its a stupid thing to do. so shut the fuck up about iy. plus asking Sup Forums to help? really?

why? life is going to be awesome soon. either that or we'll all die soon anyway. you gain more from biting your teeth together and waiting for the artificial intelligence and the shitload of scientific revolutions to make our lives a living paradise.

I swear to piss I'm not trying to be edgy and one you up or anything, but half of this guy's face was missing. It was closed casket, but since I live in a very small rural community, I had to do a bit more than just put him under the ground.

You have my sympathies user. We know what it's like.
OP, don't make another one of us.

If you have a vehicle I'd advise jumping from a high place. 12+ meter falls have a much higher success rate than hanging.

You always confuse the watermelon for its prey

>autistic
oh fuck how'd you know
i wonder what gave it away

>best knot?
A fucking noose... what do you mean?
>i don't have anything i could hang the rope on my ceiling so i figured i'd do it on the doorknob or on my bed.
Oh, you're autistic...

then have my dead body posted in gore/rekt threads?
no thanks

Damn. That bad? Sorry you had to deal with that.

Enjoy.

Google exit bag you nigger
More peaceful that way, and it spares whoever fines you of having to look at your discolored, bloated face
That's how I'm gonna go out eventually, once the neetbux dry up

>tfw finally worked up the courage to kill myself
>Sitting in my car with no reasonably painless way of doing it
>Decide I'll drive to my cities most popular suicide spot since it seems to work for everyone else
>Get there and go to fence
>It looks SHORT
>Like "I'm going to break my back but not die" short
>Decide I better poke around for the high part
>See an area that has cameras, big fence, suicide signs etc
>"That must be the location"
>Walk up there and start figuring out how to get around the fence
>There is a young asian guy there too, looking sad, listening to music on headphones
>As I'm trying to figure out the mounting process to get around I see the Asian guy scuttle off really quickly
>okay.jpg
>Get back to climbing over
>"M8, COME DOWN HERE"
>Two policeman
>Chads
>They call me down
>Basically tell me I can get back in my car and leave and to seek help, or they will arrest me and forcibly commit me
>There is a worried old guy standing nearby - I figure he must live here and watches for people looking to jump
>Cops walk with me to my car
>Have to walk by a large crowd of what appears to be tourists and down the steps past normies (rich normies) coming out of the restaurant there

Was pretty fucking humiliating.

mind

Lel

HOLY SHIT
that was the one im looking for user
thanks

I was with you until you mentioned a rope. What kind of dog do you have? I don't think that you should tie up a small dog, if that's what you're implying.

do some heroin or something first so it doesn't hurt as much

Yea I tried doing it somewhere on the ceiling. I don't think it's possible to hang yourself from a doorknob, lmao.

There was a kid i knew years back that told me his plan to kill himself. We were both on suicide watch and I couldn't manage to say anything to persuade him from doing it (please don't ask me why). I never heard from him since and to this day I regret it.

So maybe if I keep some user from offing himself maybe my life will be worth sonething. And this is coming from some douchebag behind a screen that knows nothing about you.

Lmao. I've had chad policemen in my situation too. They didn't give a fuck about me and were talking about football with eachother most of the time.

Are you feeling better since then though?

>trying to off yourself in public

humiliation is what you deserve, faggot. How about you don't mentally scar a bunch of random people just because you fucking fail at life?

dude same

Blow all your money on drugs and get extremely high before doing it.

What would stop you from hanging yourself? There's someone who cares about you, and you're also in charge of making changes. Are you in a bad place in life, not having what you want? Well, fucking make it happen man. What if you took this loss, and work on bettering yourself; eating healthier, lifting weights, learning socializing. Many people have been in your position, got their shit together, and now live a great life looking back at their suicidal thinking as a necessary step to get them where they are now.