Autistic elementary school stories? I'll start

Autistic elementary school stories? I'll start.

>be me in 3rd grade
>one of the worst behaving kids, annoy the ever living shit out of my teachers day to day
>they all hate my guts, except one teacher
>guy in his 50's kind of tall (by my elementary views ofc)
>has a moustache, that kind of reminded me of a small critter for some reason
>as i said, he doesn't really hate me, but doesn't like me very much either
>my fav teacher since he is the only one not trying to get me expelled for my shit

Fast forward 3 weeks

>Time of the year when we go on a boring fucking field trip arrives
>forfuckssake.png
>nothing much happens, except the 2nd night
>me and my friend gets told to take a shower (we go in 2 person groups)
>taking shower casually when i have one of the most autistic ideas
>i pour the whole bottle of shampoo on my ass
>sit down on the floor, made of tiles
>start sliding around making horrible screeching noises, rotating around like the fucking idiot i was
>friend looks at me in pure confusion, but after a minute or so, he does the same and joins in the fun
>we are too loud, one of the female teachers notice the noise coming from the boy's bathroom
>she knows i'm the one taking a shower so rushes over like a maniac and kicks the fucking door in
>sees me and my friend completely naked, covered in shampoo sliding around on our asses
>screams at me to dress up right now and go downstairs, where the teacher's gathering room is
>friend doesn't get shit on ofc, i'm the bad kid
>doesn't even let me wash off the shampoo, so i go downstairs after dressing up, still covered in shampoo
>makes me write an essay about why i shouldn't do that
>as im sitting down at the teacher's desk I'm still holding back laughter, but suddenly pure terror sits on my face
>if my fav teacher finds out, he'll hate my guts
>in the middle of grieving, i start thinking about his moustache for some reason, and the small animal it reminds me of.
>suddenly, he appears behind me

cont.

>start sliding around making horrible screeching noises, rotating around like the fucking idiot i was

i'm fucking dying

Go on

I’m invested, continue please, OP

>not paying much attention to my surroundings
>i reach over to get the paper and pen he brought me
>still thinking about his moustache for some fucking reason i thank him by saying "thank ya, ya fucken' shrew" in a countryside accent
>ohshit.tiff
>i realize what i just said, i quickly try to turn around to say sorry for my mistake
>by the time i finish turning around i see his hand approaching me with the power of a 1000 suns
>slaps me so fucking hard across the face that i immediately roll off the chair
>I'm crying on the floor covered in my own saliva, snot and kid shampoo
>i realize again what i just said and for some reason my sides reach orbit
>crying and laughing at the same time, face stinging like fucking hell, the female teacher walks in, makes me sit down and write my essay
>field trip over, back at school, i see my fav teacher
>run over to him to apologize
>sees me, turn around and pretends i don't exist
>This goes on for another 4 years until i switched school
>mfw

This story is pretty short and to the point.

>Be me
> Pretty stupid kid in elementary school
> Have no friends
> Everyday at recess I run around pretending to be sonic
> Autism levels are over 9000
> Teachers hated me because I swore all the time since my parents used every word under the sun around me
> At recess there’s this kid with down syndrome that hides underneath the slide
> He likes to jump out and scare people when they come down it
> Everyone’s just kind of annoyed with him
> One day I walk up to him and call him a retard just cause
> He runs off to get the teacher
>Teacher comes back with tard asking if it was me
> Teacher had a hunch it was me
> Tard looks at me for a moment but can’t recognize me because is retarded
>mfw

And this isn't even the most autistic thing i've done throughout school. Did you also enjoy your elementary school days Sup Forums?

>our school has a huge red ash field beside it
>me and this one kid i really hate are on it picking up rocks and throwing them at each other
>this little nigger is standing so far away
>i watched Terminator the night before and thought it was cool
>close one of my eyes and pretend i'm arnold schwarzenegger
>imagine a little red crosshair appearing over his head and all of his information appearing in my vision
>chuck my rock with all of the force my noodly 5yo arms would allow me
>rock sails in a perfect arc and somehow bounces right off of his forehead
>scream "TERMINATED"
>he runs in the complete operate direction of me screaming and crying
>rock split his forehead
>start crying too because i know i'm in deep shit

they made me design and give him an "i'm sorry" card so i got off light. I did the same thing a few months later with a chunk of ice to a girl i liked during a snowball fight and i had to do another card

...

Let me guess, your parents are liberals.

My parents don't really bother with politics anymore but my dad sat me down when i was around 7yo and explained why not all of the Germans were bad during WW2 so take from that what you will

Did you go to Berkshire elementary school? very Somali things happened to me.
>kid we all called Crawford, slow kid autistic
>would hide under the slide and bury himself in wood chips
>someone would come down the slide and he would pop out and scare them
>one day my group of friends enlist crawfords help
>told Crawford to go up behind random people and scream as loud as he could in their ears
>first kid Crawford walks up behind
>all of us watching from a distance
>big kid probably weighed about 150 for being in the 5th grade
>hear Crawfords war cry
>BALEHABLEEEEEEHH!!!!
>startled kid
>turns around and drops Crawford with one swift blow
>can't contain our laughter and at the same time shitting bricks
>never got in trouble for it

>be me 6th grader
>at football game
>bored because always on bench
>decide to spread buttcheeks and expose open butthole to whole team real quick
>coaches and parents saw
>too autistic to be embarrassed or understand why it was socially unacceptable until 10 years later.
>one team mate later came out as gay and still messages me today about that one day i spread them cheeks for everyone out of nowhere

Well, if it comes to tard encounters

>me, bad fucking kid, swears all the time
>i bully kids and work my faggotry in school
>one day i go to take a piss in the bathroom
>i pee all over the wall and in the trashcan
>there are mainly urinals, and 1 stall
>mfw i hear someone from the stall
>stall can't be locked since tards n' shiet
>i kick in the stall
>smaller kid peeing there is absolutely terrified, but keeps peeing
>i grab his shoulders start shaking him around like a maniac
>his piss goes everywhere, covers entire stall like a sprinkler
>he starts crying, falls on the floor and starts having a seizure
>he is still peeing, gets covered in his own urine
>holyshit.exe
>i run to get a teacher
>teacher immediately calls parents who come and take care of him
>next day, it turns out the kid is epileptic, and they had to take him to the hospital immediately
>he is under close supervision for 3 days and stayed home for more
>almost get expelled for it and i have to apologize to him and his parents when he comes back to school a week later
>i never bullied kids again after that
>mfw i'm the real tard in this story

>in gym class
>coach says we doing something or other thats going to take a long time so we should all go pee first
>leads us into bathroom
>leans against wall right next to urinal
>stares at all our dicks as we take turns going
>registered as weird but not noteworthy
>ffwd 20 years
>jokes about penis inspection day on Sup Forums
>remember that i apparently actually had one
>inform parents
>now they're upset
>i still really don't care

...

holy shit

>our school had a "best fighter"
>bullied me occassionally
>as we're all coming in from break like 20 of us head into the bathroom
>absolute chaos with that many 8-10 year olds in one tiny bathroom
>can see bully leaning over sink drinking from it
>the perfect opportunity
>casually walk past him and slam his face into the sink
>walk straight into stall and lock the door
>the perfect crime
>he starts screaming demanding to know who did it
>no one knows what he's talking about
>mfw the sounds of struggle and punches being thrown begin
>people are rushing to get out of this tiny bathroom
>ABSOLUTE MAYHEM
>eventually teachers are called and they totally empty the bathroom
>say i was in the stall and didn't see a thing
>he's missing from school for a week
>years later we attend the same high school and learn that he had to start attending anger management classes

Before we head into the story were going to need to know some back story:
>Be me in 3rd grade
>My favorite coach gets replaced by some white skinny dude
>Immediately hate his guts
>1yr later another coach comes to help the new coach
>Hate her guts too
>me being the autistic 9yr old that I am I "devise a plan" on how to make them leave
>Involves this kid called junior, never knew if he was really autistic or not as he was really introverted and wouldn't speak much except the teachers and even then he would talk with a slurred accent
>Over the course of several weeks I "befriend" him
Forgot to mention he had a weird affixation with ladybugs
>The plam basically involved him shitting in their desks and me later congratulating him with 500 ladybugs
>FFW 2 weeks, it's friday
>Coaches are gone, nowhere to be seen
>Gym is complete fucking chaos
>Tell junior to do it
>"Am not ready for poopy time"
>Fuck.jpg
>Tell him I'll give him an extra 200 ladybugs if he does it now
>"Mmmhhhhhmmmmmm, ogei"
>10 minutes later he comes back
>Due to the state of chaos the gym was in nobody noticed him
>"Can I get my ladybugs nao?"
>Crap I forgot to bring his stupid ladybugs
>Tell him I'll give him an extra 50 if he waits until next week
>"okei"
> Gather up 50-70 ladybugs during the weekend
>"This will do" I think to myself
>FFW to momday
>I bring them in my a small container that I poked really small holes in as to let the ladybugs breathe
>Give them to him
>"Danks user"
>Coaches return and immediately give us all timeout while lecturing us
>I can't stop fucking laughing
>One of the coaches gets suspicious and asks me if im responsible
>For some reason this sends my sides into orbit
>I couldn't stop laughing no matter how much I tried
>Get suspended and my mom is called in for a conference
>I get the shit spanked out of me so I developed an even deeper hatred for the coaches
>They're gonna pay
Forgot to mention, junior released the ladybugs and they bred out of control
Cont.

whoa mama

>junior released the ladybugs and they bred out of control

yes this is good

>be me
>be in 3rd grade
>we had this landwhale hall monitor who always smoked on campus, let's call her Ms.Michelinarms
>she was a total bitch, everyone hated her even the other teachers
>one day me and my autist troublemaker group devise a plan to fuck her day up
>we gather in the back tables at lunch time and prepare our assault
>the way the cafeteria was arranged left a blind spot in the very back, so if anyone was doing shit back there nobody would know
>it was the perfect spot, had a good view of Ms.Michelinarms bitching around the cafeteria as usual
>itstime.rar
>I make first attack, flinging a handful of chicken nuggets as far as I could across the lunchroom
>perfectly strikes right into the nigger table
>niggers chimp out
>see a cup of mac n cheese fly across the room, don't see where it lands but I know from the screams that it has begun
>suddenly all hell breaks loose
>entire cafeteria goes apeshit, trays of food flying in the air, kids screaming and hiding under tables
>Ms.Michelinarms goes berserk, hollering at random people
>once her back is turned, I get the biggest spoonful of mashed potatoes I could
>fling that shit straight into the back of her head
>she turns around, shrieking like a banshee
>briefly makes eye contact with me, but then stomps straight to the nigger table and starts dragging kids by their shirts
>my buddy Devin takes this chance and flings his pear jelly, exploding all over her back
>Ms.Michelinarms goes full sperg and screams at a random kid in the table down, yanking at his ear with her pudgy sausage fingers
>at this time Principal walks in shouts like a drill sergeant
>lunchroom abruptly goes quiet, that's all it took
>me and friends sink down in our seats and act like we did nothing
>it works
>dozens of kids getting pulled out of cafeteria, everyone else is evacuated
>entire nigger table along with 17 other kids get in trouble
>no one at my table ever got caught
shit was fucking hilarious

So you hated their guts for no real reason. Then you pulled this shit and got spanked for it. So you hate them even more now? For the shit you pulled?
This is some autistic shit indeed.

Cont.
The ladybugs pretty much swarmed the whole school and exterminators had to be called in, exterminators did a pretty ahitty job though since the place was still covered in ladybugs
>FFW to 6th grade
>Am regarded as one of the cool kids in 6th grade because I would fuck with the teachers a lot and even made one start crying
I know I'm an asshole
>Coaches hate my guts now
>I would get in trouble for the smallest shit
>One day for some autistic reason I decide to ask the coaches if they liked big juicy pickles and then pull out a store bought juicy pickle
>Approach the female coach that hates me even more than the male coach
>Asks her if she likes big juicy pickles
>One of my cronies comes out of nowhere and asks her if she likes bushy cookies
>She gets fucking pissed and says she's gonna contact our moms, principle, and cops
>I was pulling out the pickle as she said this
>She turns around and heads for the building
>Immediately get fucking heated
>Thought to myself "what am I supposed this pickle now"
>have the world's most autistic idea
>Throw the fucking pickle at her
>The packaging breaks on her head
>She's covered in pickle brine
>Looks down and sees a pickle
>She screams and runs into the school building
>I fall to the floor crying my eyes out of pure laughter
>Go back inside into building bc play times over
>Have to go back to my classes
>Swear I hear her crying as I pass her office
>Next day I get called into the office for sexual harassment
>She also said I was the one who shitted on her desk
>Get junior to defend me and he confesses to shitting on the desk making me no longer in grave trouble
Junior also later asked for compensation
>Get suspended for a week
>junior gets detention for a week
>My mom hears about the story and she just laughs her ass off, she took away my ps2 rights for half a year though
>hatch a new idea
>Ask junior if he could put another pickle on her desk
>"Ogei but your gonna have to pay me"
Part 2/3
Cont.

Just appreciate the damn story. You're on Sup Forums. Do you really think that this is a place that welcomes moral judgments, or at the very least, will take advice from them?

Yes, I was a very autistic child indeed

I don't give a shit what you think of Sup Forums faggot.
I can turn this to a cock rate thread if I want to.
I felt like saying what i said so i did.
The second you think you have Sup Forums figured out you pretty much lost the game

I'm not making an assumption of all Sup Forums. I'm mostly making an assumption of your response, and all the moralfags that think their advice somehow matters.

>be me
>Kindergarten
>Have crush on 7/10 redhead
>Every day during nap time I would sneak next to her and kiss her while she slept
>One day the teacher thinks we're talking instead of napping and yells at us
>She wakes up
>I panic and start rolling away while screetching
>Still friends with her today

I don't think my advice mattered at all.
Just confirmed OPs autism.
Nothing here matters.
Sometimes I'd be a moralfag sometimes not. Im user hear me roar

>very Somali things happened to me.
What, like a pirate attack?

shot down a blackhawk

>be 5th grade
>new jamaican kid is assigned next to me
>im spanish white so we are racist to each other but we make each other laugh somehow
>everytime lessons starts hes super annoying
>hmmm....a plan
>steal one of my dads screwdrivers, stay in class with jamaican kid so we late for lunch
> he goes to the bathroom
>loosen every chair and rush to lunch with a bandaid from the nurse
>kids come back from lunch tired cause we on 5thfloor
>fatkids sit down and go down instantly
>everyones shocked and laugh but go down 1 by 1
>teacher panics and tells everyone to get up
>inspects chairs
>swipe jamaican kids desks by accident revealing screws and driver
>he gets expelled

HE STILL LIVES IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD,MORTAL ENEMIES TO THE END

>Asks her if she likes big juicy pickles

I fucking love Sup Forums

Well, okay den

10/10 love story

"Skinny's in the wire!"

3/3
Cont.
>Immediately knew he meant ladybugs
>"Fine I'll get you 100 more ladybugs"
>"Okei pal"
>She's gone for the next week or so (probably because of the pickle incident)
>her office door is locked most of the days except friday
>For some odd reason it was unlocked friday
> Ask junior to put the pickle on her desk
>"Nuh uh, not until you pay me
>Knew some shit like this would happen so I stored some ladybugs in a bag inside my backpack (half of the shits were dead btw)
>"Thanks u bud"
>Hand over the pickle which read, "you cannot stop the pickle god"
>junior waddles his way over to her office with the pickle on one hand and the bag of ladybugs on his other
>He trips on the fucking door stop
>pickle and bag of ladybugs drops to the floor inside her office
>He hastily waddles his way back outside the office
>"I need moar"
>I ran out of ladybugs, tell him that hell have to wait until next week
>"Okei"
>Next day comes in and she's back
>Turns out she came back the day before but not until much later
>We lock eyes and she immediately takes me to the office hand on ear and everything
>Tells the principle what happened
>Forgot to mention we got a new principal because the other one got accused of molesting a kid even though he didn't
>New principal doesn't believe her
>Tries to check the cam for footage
>Can't see shit because the ladybugs started nesting in the gym cameras and my school is too poor to afford new ones
>Since it couldnt be proven I got off without getting in trouble
>Coach locks herself in her office and I dear I hear her screem as she uncovers the mountain of dead ladybugs hiding beneath her desk
>FFW to 8th grade, decide to get in touch with some of my old classmates
>Turns out while I was in with grade someone else left a pickle on her desk which ultimately made her quit her job
>Feel kinda shitty for what I did but at the same time I felt like a complete Chad

>be me in 6th grade
>hardcore narutard
>some kid with bad teeth kept making a 'pop' noise with his tongue
>veryfuckingannoyed.exe
>this kid did it all after school and did it to annoy the shit out of me
>had a bad day
>seen the stranger thing lookin' twat and his anorexic dork of a friend walking down the hallway before lunch period
>did the pop noise
>i fucking raged and screamed like naruto and chased him down the hallway
>yes, i ran like naruto too
>chased him through the cafeteria thru a crowd of people and eventually stopped when he ran into the boy's bathroom
>i got tired and said "UR LUCKY" and just went to hang out with my friends instead

not really a funny story just one of the sperg shits i did
i always ran like fucking naruto in gym class and shit

wad
Related inspection story
>on a summercamp with kids from school
>its in the woods so ticks aplenty
>previous year each room had an assigned adult the check us for ticks
>stories about this slutty 30yo who was checking the kids penises, pulling back the foreskin
>luckily I had guy who let us check ourselves
>this year we were all sleeping in the same room
>this scrawny kid whos nickname was 'piss' in local language had checked himself and found a tick on his balls
>the teacher then put him up on a chair while 20 other boys stood and watched
>while using a flashlight he smeared his balls with ethanol and tried to pinch off the tick
>this took at least 15 minutes and all I could think of was to never tell anyone if I got a tick in a place like that
>the autist was definitely the adult

...

>Our school consisted of 2 floors
> there was this 4x4m area on the second floor in a corner where we could look down to the 1st floor
>1st floor corner was the gathering place for a bunch of sluts
>we would go there every break and spit down on them making them screech in the most autistic way
>the staircase was literally on the other side of school so they never ever caught us
>2nd break period commence we are there with my friend
>i gathered the nastiest fucking load of spit mixed with snot and other goodies that i managed to cough up in 5 minutes
>about to unleash a Tsar bomba on them thots
>literally Nagasaki 2
>bombsaway.dat
>i see the green spitball falling towards one of the thots
>getting closer and closer
>principal steps in their circle (probably to send them back to class cause they are fucking loud)
>oshit oshit
>the mother of all spits hits him dead on his baldspot
>he screams "WHICH ONE OF YOU FUCKERS DID THAT?"
>by the time he looks up, we aren't there
>we flee the scene and never get found out
>tfw i nuked the principal

If this thread is still up later I'll answer questions and post more stories, I'm too tired for now

Does middle school count?
>be 6th grade
>there was a kid would wear a shitty Assassin's Creed cosplay every day to school, not once took it off even for P.E.
>always moved slowly down the hallway with his head down and hood up, and would touch nearby people as he walked like in the game
>one day some kids were poking fun at him in the theater hallway, don't remember what they said to him
>he suddenly slides his phone out from under his sleeve and onto his wrist
>he has a fucking hidden blade app on that makes noises and turns the flash on
>Edgio Autistore proceeds to make stabbing motions at their necks and naruto runs down the hallway
>kids left just completely puzzled
Fast forward to 7th grade
>walking with female friend down the hall
>suddenly Assberger's Creed walks right into her, drops his binder
>she apologizes and we help him pick his stuff up
>he tugs at his hood in a tipping fedora kind of way
>"All is forgiven"
>he walks away
>never see him again after that until freshman year of highschool
>he fucking bleaches his hair almost white
>wore some kind of anime cloak every day instead of Assassin robes
>he's with a huge group of kids that always wear fingerless gloves and headphones 24/7
>one day in middle of biology
>he fucking starts banging on the door because he thinks it's locked (it was unlocked)
>he starts shouting and flailing his arms
>threatens to shoot everyone in the classroom if nobody opens the door
>teacher goes outside and has a talk with him
>mfw he didn't even have that period

>I liked to do stupid, wacky shit to make everyone laugh.
>sitting at lunch table before school
>have a bookbag with wheels and a U shaped handle, like a luggage bag.
>try to get people to bet on whether I can fit my head through handle bars of bag (I had a big head)
>someone puts 5 on it.
>I struggle, but manage to ram my head through the handle.
>bell rings, time for class
>can't get my head out
>all my friends are pissing themselves with laughter
>everyone leaves, just me and volunteer
>she calls the janitor, and gives me a lecture about how being a fool for attention isn't a good way to make friends, etc.
>manage to pull my head out right before janitor arrives
>he gives us a dirty look and mutters "horseshit" under his breath

The same janitor also caught me swinging on some pipes in the bathroom, pretending I was an Olympian on the uneven bars.
"Those could burst and shoot scalding water on you, you dumb little shit."

>Edgio Autistore

Alright my sides are officially fucking gone. I can't

For shame faggot

Maybe if it did then Sup Forums wouldn't have gone to shit. Its mainly tards who pretend b is amoral when they want to justify their autism, but suddenly sperg out at anything they don't like like its a moral crisis.

>hidden blade app
>Edgio Autistore
>Assburger's Creed
>bleaches his hair white
>anime cloak
>fingerless gloves and headphones
>threatens to shoot everyone in the classroom

Fucking 10/10

Yeah. Notice that Sup Forums has started to get more and more easily offended every year

>Edgio Autistore
>Assberger's Creed
Holy fucking shit

>8th grade
>special ed because I'm autistic
>sit in front of nigger
>have lots of free time cus special ed
>turn around in my desk and conversate with nigger
>Conversation devolves to shit talking because nigger
>Nigger shit talking devolves to him mocking me with retard impression>"duhduhduh" non fucking stop
>autisticragemodeactivated.webm
>take front left leg of niggers chair/desk
>Fucking flip!
>nigger goes back with his desk
>ends up upside down with desk surface pinning his face/upperbody to the floor
>mullet lesbian TA helps nigger to his feet.
>nigger is dazed but not out
>as soon as he collects himself he rushes at me.
>lesbian is stronger than I though
>holds nigger back as i'm directed to the principals office
>suspended

Someone needs to screencap this shit

>>briefly makes eye contact with me, but then stomps straight to the nigger table and starts dragging kids by their shirts
>>entire nigger table gets in trouble

based dad

>>one team mate later came out as gay and still messages me today about that one day i spread them cheeks for everyone out of nowhere

well, have you hooked up with him yet?

Wow I thought I might have been slightly autistic growing up but you faggots have convinced me I was just very shy..wow