Be me

>be me
>16 yo, shitty high school
>recently broke up with 6/10 (Probably biased)
>Does fencing twice a week, barely any homework, lot of time on my hands
>jacks in an unconventional way by using my wrist and thumb
>jacking one night
>nuts
>I think I'm done, but I feel like I can go for a little more
>feelsgood.png
>nuts 12 more times that night
>Tells friends about it, most skeptical but one tries the jacking method
>Next night, can't nut at all. Drained like a sponge after finishing dishes
>Friend comes to school the next day, tells me about success
>Gets a group of continuous nutters
>researches about sperm banks
>Finds salary of the average donor
>mfw I set my friends and I up to be sperm donors
>mfw I realize that you can make $125 for each donation

Lucky you. We don't have a sperm bank for miles where I live.

What is this mysterious technique you talk of?

Not how sperm donations works. You're an idiot and underage. kys faggot

You better fucking explain this method

MODS!!!!!!!

>you can make $125 for each donation
>$125 for each donation
>donation
noun: donation something that is given to a charity

Step 1. Grip the edge of your trousers waistline with your thumb
Step 2. Expose your Doug Dimmadome
Step 3: Lie down with your Doug Dimmadome gently pressed against your wrist and arm above the wrist (Preferably on a comfy and springy surface, couch or bed, etc.)
Step 4: Turn on your favorite video
Step 5: Start humping your arm while sanctimoniously pushing on your Dimmadome
Step 6: Once you find that spot, which will be hard if you don't Jack at least twice a day, and you nut once, clean up and recharge. Continuous nutting will take some time, effort, and a lot of clean up
Step 7: Once you Jack and Nut, repeat steps 4-6 until you can't

That doesn't make sense from step 1. You'd be better drawing a diagram.

Or be more detailed.

Allow me to draw one, or at least try

I don't think you're allowed to donate more than once a week or so.

>be me
>sitting at home watching Big Mouth on Netflix
>doorbell rings
>open it to see a guy holding a bucket
>asks me if I could make a donation to the local hospital to afford a new sperm storage freezer in their fertility lab
>timeformydailycommunityservice.jpg
>tell him to hold on as I close the door
>head to my bathroom with a fitness magazine
>spend about 3 minutes beating my dick harder than a Muslim beating his wife for wearing shorts
>hereitcomes.gif
>jizzum in a solo cup
>quickly throw on my pants
>run back to the door with solo cup in my hand
>see guy with the bucket just walking away to the next house
>yell "Hey faggot!"
>he looks around confused
>I run over to him with the cup
>I dump it into the bucket
>his face is a combination of shock, horror, and disgust
>he says nothing and proceeds to the next house
>I walk back in my house
>I resume watching my Netflix show
>I lay back in my recliner with a smile on my face knowing I just earned my ticket to heaven
>mfw

fucking kekd

ayy

Garbage drawing

please make a greentext thread and put this in it. please

Explains everything. Not being sardonic at all

You're welcome

i was being sardonic

I dont get it, draw again maybe with dild to show where

So around the back of trousers or wut?

I'll try. If I do, I need someone to screencap it. It is a life goal of mine to have a greentext become famous.

post a gif showing what to do or something
cant understand otherwise

totally. this is gold right here

Front of trousers where the Dimmadome is.

Sounds like jerking off but with more complicated steps.

thumb in front of, behind, or inside of dimmadome?

agreed. post a gif showing us. this shits fucking complicated sounding

So basically hump the line where you would slit your wrist to die?

Right here: 752361480

Doug dimmadome

link like dis
>

Depends where your personal spot is

thanks

P. much.
Not across the street, down the road

fucking kek

Do what these guys said, or explain better

Thanks

This thread lol.

Im absolutely stealing the dimmadome ref

Rub your dimmadome against where you would cut your wrist lengthwise

how tho. Show us almighty fap god

thanks for your donation

...

Be my guest lol. I can just make one for you if ya need it

Fap God!?

This fucking thread.

DIS OP?

Anything to help the hospital, sterile betas, and lesbians everywhere.

Dick Dicadome Approves

Please continue to elaborate on the instructions

Yes, but get that thumb in there firm so you dont let go

Wait so like this op??

Doug Dimmadowns

holy fucking shit KEK

I'll give it a go with this qt for porn.

Make a dimmadome for me?

Is trap?

Here ya go

is trap.

FAP TIME

pls respond

had a similar experience with solicitors

>be few weeks ago, housesitting and babysitting for my brother and his wife
>spending a week in napa valley for their 10th anniversary, i know ... rich people, amirite?
>anyways kids are at school, and they said a package was supposed to arrive that day
>doorbell rings, i stop shit posting in some gore thread, put on some clothes, and answer
>2 women old as fuck, one black one white
>"hello my name is annoying mcfuckface is user here? i left some literature with her a week ago, whats your name?"
>... literature? why does that sound suspicious as fuck?
>"my name is user and nah, they're on vacation this week"
>"oh thats nice, well can i ask you a question, do you go to church?"
>OHFUCKNO.rar here it fucking comes?
>"uh, nah ... not really"
>i do but i am waaaaaay not in the mood for this right now
>"oh, i'm sorry to hear that, well what do you think of that shooting down in texas"
>"um, not much to be honest, tons of bad stuff happens everyday that nobody hears about"
>"yes thats true i guess, are you familiar with the book of revelations?"
>"yeah, thats the one where the four horsemen, i played a video game about that once, good game, shame what they did to the developers"
>"well they say that when the devil comes back, chaos will reign, aren't you afraid of the devil and going to hell when that happens"
>"nope"
>at this point she has gotten the message, this shit aint happening
>then as she is turning around to walk away she says something like "well you should be, because you are going there"
>as i am closing the door i say "cool, i'll see you when i get there"
>the look on her face when she turned around was priceless
pic related

Based OP

This is the best thread ever.

Alright I got a chuckle but I wouldn't go that far

No.1 trap.