does anyone have any dirty jokes that i can tell the cute girl at the donut shop?
she's really cute and i want to get with her
i told her some shitty jokes the other day and she kinda laughed
jokes i told her:
why did the scarecrow win an award?
because he was out standing in his field
what's the difference between vitamins and hormones?
you can't hear vitamins
I've been searching google for more but all of them are trash
>pic unrelated
where do you fuck a hooker at 2AM in downtown?
in her stab wounds
haha i'll use this one for sure
thanks
any more?
How do you get a faggot to fuck a woman?
You stuff her vagina full of shit
what's the warmest par tof the female body after death?
My dick.
>mfw OP's pic
do you have to break the skin to fuck the girl in pic?
Just walk in and say
What's up my nico nico niigga.
jesus christ
look at those numbers
chek'd and kek'd
topkektopget
:( my dick thought mmm extra tight, started to rise then when I realised it just went back soft
Is this the fabled confused boner I’ve heard so much about?
thats called a ballsack
what's the difference between a jew and a pizza?
a pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven
this made my day
beautiful
also, What's white on top and black on bottom?
IQ charts
Do you niggers really tell actual stand up jokes to break the ice? I only tell corny ass jokes to my wife.
well what do i do then?
what should i say to the gril?
Witnessed
Dubs of truth
nice dubs
and it continues
You sir, derserve the kekheaven
Have you decided where you wanna take her out for a date?
jesus christ
this thread is stealing all the gets
holy fuck
no that means you're straight but dumb
no i have no clue
also i don;t have a car or drivers license
im a streak breaker
what does pizza have in common with parents?
if they are black, the kids got nothing to eat.
This isn't reddit.
Fuck you
no u
no fucking way
>1 number off
fuck you
...
sorry, *you* are the one who's full of shit
If you use this she might think you are a violent freak. You are legitimately retarded if you say this.
fuck then what do i say?
i've never asked a girl out before
and i'm trying to make her the first
also what if she says no or has a boyfriend?
what do i do?
Play video games and watch porn in a dark basement for the rest of your life.
i'm on no fap
trying to not masturbate
trying to make my life better
i don't want to be on the internet all the time
i don't want to be alone
What is the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?
I've never paid for garbanzo bean on my face.
you say:
Hey user, do you happen to know what a Cotton mouth snake and a condom have in common??
hmmm, no
....I don't fuck with either one of them. What's going on tonight?
TOP KEK
This thread is blessed
Dub blessed
worst joke ever
czech em
I like you btw OP. I 'd go out with you if I wasnt at the other side of the earth.
As for that girl, scope if she's into you first. If she is, it almost doesnt matter what the joke is.
Also try to find beforehand if there is a bf in the picture. If there is let her come to you, dont pursuit cuz she will friendone you as backup if you seem for certain.
hey op, do you have any milk for the refrigerator?
why yes i do
oh, well, dont have a cow!
thats an example of your joke formula
what's the best thing about having sex with twentynine year olds?
[spoiler]there's twenty of them
how do you make a baby crawl in circles? nail one hand to the floor
what do you call a pile of kittens?
a meowtain.
what so you call a pile of baby humans?
tragic.
The quints have spoken! You must use this one. No matter how shit (get it?) it might be!
Nice (2,5*dubs) man!!
what's slower than a turtle?
a snail.
what's worse than a snail?
the holocaust
And rape is the opposite
So fucking close
wtf is that line across Chris' chest? is that from a fat fold?
What's the difference between a bean burrito and a four year old girl?
I don't fuck my burrito after I eat it.
I agree with this user.
It depends. Is she racist?
What's the difference between a gay guy and a fridge?
The fridge doesn't fart when you pull the sausage out.
how do i find out if she has a bf?
all i know about hr is that she works at the donut shop
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
what do donuts and your crush have in common?
i eat both their holes
So I was eating pussy the other day when all of a sudden I tasted donkey cum.
I sat right up and said to myself, "So Grandma, that's how you died!"
wut
i'm not sure
she did make a joke about hating fags one day though
Busted.
you want a botch that can joke about fags, but not a bitch that actually hates fags. which is she?
why can't she hate fags?
only fags hate fags
lol it's impressive how dumb you two are. I never thought I would ever have to explain that one, and I'm not going to. But gaht damn...
Or you two are just beta as fuck... I gave you the benefit of the doubt tho and assumed you are dumb
thanks for clearing that up! whats going on tonight?
what?
What's brown and rhymes with snoop?
Dr Dre
i lost here, finally
faggot.
you should think about taking yourself from this earth in an abrupt and hurried fashion.
Here's one, this will work, trust me
>How do you fuck a cute girl from a donut shop?
>Rape her in the parking lot when her shift ends
that second one is a bit creepy bro
lmao
i'm sure that would go over well
A young boy comes home from school one day. His mom asks him how his day was and he responded by saying it was great.
Curious the mom asked her son what made it so great and he replies by saying he just had sex.
Horrified the mom sends him to his room and tells him to wait there till his father comes homes.
Father comes home and his wife tells him what happened to their son at school. He tells his wife that he'll take care of it.
Father walks into his son's room with a big grin on his face and says "Well, your mom just told me you became a man today."
Son replies "I guess I did."
"Any questions you want to ask me, son?" asks the father.
"I do have one." replies the son
"ask away my boy." responds the father.
"How long before my ass stops hurting?"
Quints of truth
>also what if she says no or has a boyfriend?
>what do i do?
Then you fuck her stab wounds.
lmao
You: What happens when you put a dead baby in the microwave?
Her: IDK
You: me either, I close my eyes when I masturbate.
Profit....
Wait, when did your dick become part of her body and not just merely in it?
why does an elephant have four feet?
because on an elephant, six inches would look ridiculous.
A Rottweiler, a pit bull, and a German Shepard are at the vet's one day.
Bored the Rottweiler asks the pit bull what he's at the vet's for.
The pit bull responds "I used to have an abusive owner. One day he came home drunk and kicked me. That was the last straw so I attacked him and here I am to be put sleep."
"I see" says the rottweiler and then he asks the German Shepard what he's at the vet's for.
The German Shepard responds "I was always overprotective of my master. One day when the mailman came to deliver a package my master left the door open. I rushed out and attacked the mailman and now here I am waiting to get put to sleep."
"I'm sorry to hear" responded the rottweiler.
Then the pit bull says "We've told you what brought us here. So how about you tell us what you're in here for."
The rottweiler responds "My master is a beautiful blonde who always walks around the house naked. One day she bent over and I leaped on top of her."
"Say no more." says the German Shepard
"So I take it she's brought you here to be put down also?" asks the pit bull
"Hell no! I'm getting declawed."
awww :)
Here's one of my jokes...
You: do you have a dog?
Girl: (yes/no)
Y: I have a dog. I take real good care of it. I make sure he's eating g the right things.
Girl: yeah?
Y: Yeah, like I Crack an egg in his dog food so he gets a nice shiny coat.. Oh and I feed him lots of pineapple.
Girl: Whats the pineapple do?
You: oh, that gets the egg taste out of his cum.
"Shit in her pussy" is the punch line you fucked the quints.
If every girl looked like that between her legs, I think my life would get a whole lot easier real fast. I mean, I look at that picture, and it's all smooth, no butthole, no cunt, and I feel nothing. I don't even care. My life would be a lot simpler if this held true for all women.
how about this?
i like the tits but those disgusting beef cuts between their legs make me wanna puke
QUINTS! Its the apocalypse!
better?
i made op's pic as well
small world
Who’s on the right
no clue
just some pic i found online
can you take her nips off too