Do you shit before or after you shower?

Do you shit before or after you shower?
>shitting before means your asshole will be very clean after you shower
>shitting after means your asshole will be all wet and the poop goes out faster

>not shitting a moist schlob in the shower

Before. I use my fingers to drag the shit out at mach speed and wash them off in the shower

I shit in my backyard and then throw it at my neighbors very confused dog.

Kek
Shit before and after. Sometimes I shower twice.

>remove shower drain grid
>squat like a predator
>smear the residue like aztec warpaint over your face
>christian rebirth under pulse mode

during

If you aren't showering after do you just lick them clean?
I occasionally toss my turds at old Mrs. Harris across the street

Before, and for some reason I actively avoid farting.

As in all the time or just shower time?

right because a human can say to himself "oh i will choose to shit right now" whenever he wants because our bowels actually work by force of human will. i shit when i have the urge which remarkably isn't timed to when my body gets wet, which is a good thing otherwise all humans would be shitting their pants 5 minutes before or during any time rain falls. stupid thread

shit before, i dont want my poorfag 1ply tp to rip and tear

"I'm incapable of holding my shit until a more opportune moment."

Hey autist a lot of people shit before they shower so they know 100% their asshole won't smell and can ensure they won't have any dingleberries

you can't control it that way!! here's a test for you: shit right now. if you can't do that then you can't "choose" to do it before or after an arbitrary event like taking a shower!

Its called a routine. If you don't eat like shit or with irregular meals then you can shit within the same couple hour time periods each day

obvious troll is obvious

>Try to shit before
>Can't
>Hot water gets the plumbing moving
>Shit afterwards
>wipe
>get back in shower
>re-clean ass
?

i dont think water makes the poop come out faster, and its not really a speed issue for me?

i generally pooped before i showered until i slowed down my schedule. now i only shower twice a week. and i poop twice a day thanks to fiber.

not me. i have no choice in the matter and i doubt others do either. this sounds like the lies people tell others when they say they always break even at a casino. everyone breaks even but casinos make tons of money somehow.

go fuck yourself

my wife is usually in the shower when i need to shit, so i poop in her garden and tell her it was a raccoon.

btw you didn't say you could choose to shit right now at will so your stories about choosing to do it before you soak your body in water are dubious

Not really a speed thing for me either it just feels better to shit with a wet asshole
Most people can control their bowel movements man

then shit right now

I choose to shower around my shit. I usually need to shit between 9-10. I shower then

really? i prefer a slow shit. one thing i hate about the fiber pills is they take the fun out of dropping a deuce.

makes more sense saying you wait to shower until after. this other bullshit about how i choose to shit is a lie though.

I like to shit because I imagine it's what it feels like to have a dick in my ass. No homo

kek

I try to shit before showers and in the shower when I get to my ass I stick a soapy finger knuckle deep so as to clean out the last inch or so of my Angus. I have a shit diet so I usually can never get my ass clean from just wiping. During the day I periodically have to go to the bathroom to rewipe, a problem that's exacerbated by the hot climate I live in.

I trained my body to only shit when I hear the shower running. Otherwise my asshole is locked up tighter than

i try not to shit. i think its really disgusting
havent shit in 3 days

>>shitting before means your asshole will be very clean after you shower
>>shitting after means your asshole will be all wet and the poop goes out faster

I shit then shower. If I wanted my asshole wet to be able to shit, I'd have you tongue my bung.

i always assumed this was why straight guys spent so much time on the toilet

>shitting after means your asshole will be all wet and the poop goes out faster
How the fuck do you shower or what’s wrong with your poop?

>i always assumed this was why straight guys spent so much time on the toilet

Nah. Faggots have blown out assholes, so the the shit just brindles out all lubricated with cocksnot. Straight guys have a proper bowel movement, and that takes a bit of time.

Before. I hate going after and the toilet seat being all kinda moist from the shower steam.

So you wear diapers?

If I hadn’t eaten mostly cheese for dinner I swear I’d be able to shit right now. This never happens to me.