ITT: We post about the weird things we've done recently

>ITT: We post about the weird things we've done recently

I tried summoning a demon named Zagan in my dorm.

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youtube.com/watch?v=SnTL1L8a6YI
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I'm assuming you weren't successful? Lord Zagan did not deem you worthy.

I know I did a few things wrong, one of them being not showing him what a human looks like so he could manifest properly. I also have yet to do a dismissal. So, if it did work and he can't manifest, I'm just haunted by a spooky.

Look at this sloppy ass shit, no wonder you failed you miserable fuck. Now try it again, and do it right this time you fucking shmuck.

I know, solid green, red letters. I can't carve it in the hard wood or else maintanance would have my ass.

>haunted by a spooky

My dude, prepare your anus

Dude I've wanted to be haunted by a spooky my whole life. That dream was dwindled under my atheism, but damn if it had worked like it said. WHEW

Lord Zagan probably doesnt like Keystone Light..

So let's remove all superstition and allegory from the concept of demons and the supernatural.

Assuming they are real, they are a literal manifestation of humanity's inability to diagnose and alleviate its own objective evils. Humanity in general is simply too subjective; we all believe in different goals for what defines 'good' and 'evil' in society and the universe. We can generally agree, but never have we been able to clearly, concisely define such concepts. This is not necessarily a failure of language, more of understanding. As a result, to perform this kind of action - summoning a demon - is certainly possible, but not feasible just based on this set of facts.

In general, supernatural occurances are very similar - we simply do not have the capability to understand them fully. While we have witnessed people - Psychics, Demonologists, Occultists, etc - who claim to have this understanding are easily misunderstanding their own comprehension. For example, let's assume that our understanding of the 4th and 5th dimensions are accurate. A ghost, then, could very well be a presence that is capable, or even a perception that is capable, of crossing time and the continuum. This, of course, might be impossible, but it's a better explanation than most.

The bare facts are this. If we assume that summoning demons, spirits, constructs of will, etc are possible, it's not advisable not to do so. The common explanation is that these are inherently bad due to their nature or their supposed properties of existence. However, the reason is much easier. If you knew nothing about it, would you be interested in disassembling a nuclear reactor while it's running?

I said I live in a dorm mate

Dude, its 3 a.m. I'm just a guy who's read too many fantasy books and bought the lesser and greater keys of solomon on kindle. I literally tried summoning a spirit with a fucking kindle fire in my hands.

Then let me tl:dr my argument

>everyone says summoning demons is bad because demons
>I say summoning demons is bad because what the fuck do you actually know

I like your style. My processing ability is a little slow but that was my exact thinking (kinda). I don't really believe in god or spookies, but I wanted to know.

Okay, Jesus. Where to begin?

First, you're using seals of Solomon to summon a demon. If you had a basic knowledge of Solomon and his occult dealings, you'd know that'd like trying to win the black vote while wearing a ku klux klan robe.

Second, where the fuck is your salt? Even a thing of Morton's will do in a pinch.

Finally, those runes are inexcusable. The reason you're not clawing holes in your own flesh right now is because whoever you thought you were summoning was either laughing too hard or was too disgusted to bother with you.

I suppose this is pointless to add, but why are you idiots still trying to summon demons? They are niggers, crackers, jews, and mexicans all rolled into one. They ask increasingly evil things in exchange for power, and then take that power away once you're in a deadly situation and you're damned enough. You are literally better off playing Russian roulette with a semi-automatic than you are summoning demons.

That's fair.

But here's a nice question. What the fuck would you have done if it worked?

>bought the lesser and greater keys of solomon on kindle
>bought the lesser and greater keys of solomon
>bought

You do realize those have been public domain since, like...as long as 'public domain' has been a concept? You could just download them off sacredtexts, or literally any torrent site.

You're gay, and boring
good question. I was actually assuming if it had worked the dissmyssal would work and I had the "Bind it to a box and burn the fucker" ritual components on stand bye.
Its was 5 dollars (for both) to avoid the inconveniece of having to tote my laptop.

I feel I should mention this. Hell? There's no fire, it's just like that day where you decide to an hero. Every happy memory is used to remind you of what you lost. Every bad memory and sin just hammers on that button that screams 'you're worthless' in your brain.

Only you don't get a rope or gun to end it. It's dark misery for all eternity with no escape.

No amount of power, wealth, or status is worth dealing with demons.

However, this was my box

people like this actually exist. jesus fucking christ

What, you're gonna tell me you've never thought "Wouldn't it be neat to try fucking with the supernatural for fun?" The worst/best case scenario is i waste 30 min to an hour and it doesn't work.

ive been nonreligious since i was like 9. so no, i havent had my brain beat in to the point where i thought that would be even remotely fun

I don't even believe in god, mang. Haven't for 7 years now. I don't let that get in the way of my curiosity.

you spelled retardation wrong. I really do hope a demon rapes and murders you just so im slightly embarrassed

Hell is most likely construct implanted by literary works such Dante's Inferno. If Hell exists as a place, or even as a state of mind, then the mind of the individual would build it. There doesn't seem to be any specific cosmic purpose, at least that would make sense to humans, for Hell, or even Heaven to exist.

I'm not saying they
>specifically
don't, I'm just saying that an individual is more at fault for their own sins, but 'sin' in itself is more of a human denomination. There are faults in all 7 sins as being inherently evil, and there are faults in all 7 virtues in being inherently good.

Because of this, I don't think Hell would exist in a way we can foresee. As it is, Hell seems like a form of cosmic ultimate prison. However, in the grand scheme, Humans are likely to be so insignificant, that it would go without saying that it would be an effective waste of capability within the universe.

I suppose what I'm getting as is (tl;dr)
>Hell can't feasibly exist as we think of it
>Heaven is likely in the same boat
>individual perception is the more likely candidate

what a sloppy sigil.

Fucked my boss, and then used the ingredients to make myself some food.
No washing of the hands, made sure to dig into each ingredient on the make table.
We had some good laughs

Dude, I like it. Wish I could fully comprehend those posts, but I feel like that was one of the points.

If you weren't right I'd tell you to suck my knob.

I counted to 40 on Sup Forums without anyone stopping me.

I bet that's the highlights off your day you lonely fat bastard

That's interesting, you work in food or was just fucking and cooking on your off hours.

Small things user, its what gets me from one failed attempt at proving god real to the next.

Try chaos and fix ur sigils.
summoning isn't real.
neither is god, demons, ghosts, or anything paranormal.
there is something in the quantum though.

if i try (and succeed) to summon a demon, any, even a lesser one, just to talk to him because i'm lonely and want to find out if i put a 12. gauge to my head i'll be fucked in the afterlife. will he show up? will he be mad at me?

Hey, you got me. I was actually collecting books on chaos magick. I have a very vague idea of what it's about going in.

Well for one I got this get

awesome

I feel that user. I decided to try summoning after my longtime room mate moved out of the dorms and I got a little lonely.
It doesn't take much balls to user post about your dubs. however I GOT EM

Damn right it is you fucking faggot, you try doing it.
Cheers user.

Yeah. I guess the weirdest thing I did recently was drive with a friends older brother, and along the way he got a call from one of his hood boys and we had to make a quick stop in the middle of town for him to beat the shit out of someone before we went on our way to buy alcohol.
Fun times. Not as fun as these digits.

i thought this is a model railway circuit
disappointment.

Was there a hood rat not RESPECTING MY DUBS!^

Condensed Chaos is the only one worth reading.
The rest is just repeated shit.

You honestly shouldn't discount the presence of a... well, a God, nor should you completely discount that presence.

That was a really difficult sentence to build.

So, basically - we have direct correlating evidence that tells us about evolution and how life on the planet evolved. We also have supporting evidence that can point us to how the planet was formed, how other planets formed, how the solar system, stars, and galaxy formed. We even have an idea of how the universe was formed, and continues to be formed. We used observation to form speculations, not the other way around. This is the basis of Science; we observe, take notes, then come to conclusions based on our notes. We then test those conclusions against the real world to create knowledge.

What falls outside of our knowledge is what becomes pure speculation. What falls outside of speculation becomes the realm of fantasy. What falls outside of fantasy is impossibility. But, by virtue of this concept, impossibility is possible simply because the concept of impossibility exists. We simply haven't expanded our ability to comprehend far enough.

So, we know that evolution is a thing, and it has a lot of evidence to support it. We know that single-celled organisms started the fire. We have theories that preclude how that life arrived there, but this is where the train stops. Life is a largely unknown value, although not for lack of trying.

The concept of giving life to the lifeless, or creating life, has been the topic of research since the dawn of research itself. But, for all our findings, it's falling into the realm of impossibility. This is why we can't completely discredit the presence of something greater in the universe. I can't say whether that is a God, or simply beings of higher understanding, maybe even just luck. There are clearly forces at work in our environment that are beyond our ability, at least for now. For that reason, I'm weary to place a name to it; but I know it's there.

I'll look into it further. Thank you sir. and is there an author's name I should look for?

AYYY YOU DID IT!

wat a weak attempt, it's clear you weren't committed, even to a mortal, Zagan won't notice you if your heart's not in it (metaphorically, but literally would really get his attention)

a real god gives dubs

someone typed this on Sup Forums dot org

I am you're god

you're a faggot

You sound agnostic. I respect that.

FUCKING YEAH I DID

Yeah, its kinda hard to, but I want to give it another solid try before I do it again.

Did Zagan show up?

I have never read about any of this shit but I'm so amused by this thread I'm going to look into it. There better be a demon of love. I'm definitely going to summon it and laugh my head off

>I am you are god
well which one is it

Go role play on /x/ u fucking faggot

Why not both?

was his first name Carl?

its most likely it will laugh when your head comes off

I honestly wish I could say what I am.

I'm just not Religious at all; if I had to label myself with anything, I'd say Darwinist, because I'm too weary of Religion as a concept to really approach it in any way, even as an agnostic. I feel like it's a label that is too... shit, I don't know a good word for it. Too... Punitive? I'm not sure.

Religious labels rub me the wrong way in general. I'm just religiously neutral.

youtube.com/watch?v=SnTL1L8a6YI

Threads Titel music

>mind blown

Apparantly my posts are spam. Wonderful Sup Forums

Nah mate, I'm sure I fucked the ritual.

I feel that friend. Had that problem for a bit, but then I stopped worrying about labels because they mean something different to everyone.

sppoky, not much of a metal guy. I prefer upbeat jazz or punk.

We are gods. You can jump off of buildings. You will not be hurt. The cops can not arrest you for crimes.

but if we are gods then cops are gods too

You're not ready dude. Start with the Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram and work your way up. Get the book Practical Magick and the Chicken Qabalah. Those two are essential if you're serious about this. You shouldn't mess with the Lesser/Greater Keys of Solomon until you're 40 years old and have kids. That's the rule. Many, many, people have tried to do what you're trying to do way to early in the game. And do you know what happens to them? They commit suicide or go completely insane. Don't do it. Please take my word on this. I've been practicing since I was 22 and I'm 35 now and I wouldn't touch the Lesser/Greater Keys of Solomon. Demons are not something to play with. If you're serious about this take my word on it.

No it's just us

Phil Hine

but i'm a cop nigga

I got a couple results on Practical magick. Which author my dude?

thank friend

No it's just us

Well then you can get away with killing people in the first place sooo...

sitri, friend

I'll save you the trouble and tell you that demons aren't real and you just spent like what, an hour writing shit on the floor for no reason?

Well at least you can go spook some people if you drew that somewhere outside. Preferably in a school. That'd be funny. I dunno man, maybe your 'demons' will come out as a reward for some exposure.

Sitri?

2 weeks ago i got fired from my job so ive been dicking off playing league of legends waiting for callbacks.
weird

Probably gonna try and summon a demon with a homemade oujia board when im high as fuck with my friends. Seems worth it.

he can help you with 'love'

Elaborate on your experiences.

I gave you the wrong title and I can't seem to find my hard copy so my bad, but it's something like that. If you want to give me an email address I can find it tomorrow and send you the details. And if by some insane chance I can't find it (I will) I can send my copied transcripts of some of the rituals. Once again, only if you're serious about this because this is not something to play with. But if you're willing to devote an unbelievable amount of mental, psychological, and yes even spiritual energy to the craft I'd be glad to help you.

Googled it. There is way too much information on Wikipedia

if god is real, i will get trips

Well you got pretty close

>got in a car with coworker and her friend
>felt like awkward autist ~60% of ride
>contributed fucking nothing to comversations
>wondered if this is how grils are
>realize i clearly haven't been around enough grils, since having to ask that question at all
>find out from coworker's friend "getting coffee" usually a gril's way to ask4sexing without coming out and saying it
>think back to all 9001 times someone asked me out for coffee
>men, women, children
>scared
>there's no way
>life isn't a porno
>i kind of want to bang both of them
>only figure that out after failing horribly to convince coworker's friend to do business with me
>they work next day, i want to read a book
>the shame of putting the night into context while walking through cold dark alleys
>reflection on all the rays of the spectrum shining through tonight
>my fucking life
>whatisthis.exe

autism Sup Forumsros
sometimes it Hz.

God isn't real sorry friendo.