I need your most fucked up jokes Sup Forumsros

I need your most fucked up jokes Sup Forumsros.

This is my favorite one: What's the hardest part about seeing a child get hit by a car? My dick.

your shitty life

Damn

What has more brains than a sandy hook student. The wall.

How do you break an infants spine?
Put it in and let it grow

Whats the best thing about fucking eighty eight year olds?

Theres eighty of them

what color was kurt cobains eyes?
>blue
yeah your right, one blew that way and the other blew the other.

Classic

>How do you get a baby in the bathtub?
A blender
>How do you get it out?
A tortilla chip
>What's worse than ten babies nailed to a tree?
One baby nailed to ten trees
>What's the difference between a truckload of babies and a truckload of watermelons?
You can't unload the watermelons with a pitchfork
>What did little Suzie want for Christmas?
Parents
>What did she get?
Leukemia
> What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
I take my boots off to jump on the trampoline

That's most of what I can recall right now. Godspeed user

a mexican and a black are in a car. whose driving?
>the cop

Holy fuck user those were brutal. Thanks man.

>dead baby jokes
Highschool all over again

>Why can't you fool an aborted baby
Because it wasn't born yesterday.

Disgusting. :) Also nice dubs.

>How do you make a little girl cry twice?
Wipe your bloody dick on her teddy bear

Missed:
What end of a baby do you put in the blender first?
>the head?
No, the feet, so you can see its expression

what do you do if you see your tv floating at night?

you say "drop it nigga!"

How to make a 6 year old stop crying?

Quit wiping your bloody dick on her teddy bear.

What do you say if you see your fridge floating away?
>nothing that's a huge nigger

>what does a nigger ad an apple have in common?
they both looking good hanging in a tree

You fucking monster
G E T O U T

...

>What's blue, shiny, and sits at the bottom of a pool?
A baby with slashed water-wings.

>What's green, shiny, and sits at the bottom of a pool?
Same baby, six weeks later.

>What's more fun than a baby swinging around, tied to a ceiling fan?
Stopping it with a shovel.

>What's funnier than a dead baby?
A dead baby in a clown suit.

>What's funnier than that?
Dead baby in a clown suit sitting next to a kid with Down syndrome.

What do you call 5 black people having sex? A three way

>What's black, blue and likes to thrash around?
A baby in a plastic bag

What is the best thing about fucking 28 year olds?

There is 20 of them!

Wut?

3/5ths compromise, American history

What's the difference between a pound of cocaine and a baby?

Eric Clapton doesn't let a pound of cocaine fall out the window

3/5ths compromise

>How do you lie to your wife and get away with it?
Tell her she ran into the wall

Hahahaha this took me a minute.

Quality stuff. Getting all Jim Crow in this shit.

...

A priest and a rabbi are chatting on a street corner when a little boy runs past. The priest says, "Let's fuck him!" To which the rabbi replies, "Out of what?"

Jesus Christ fed 2,000 people with 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish, but Adolf Hitler made 6 million Jews toast

>why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side

You fucking monster. Get out.

pic is what sickos like you get off to

Why do woman always ask the same questions?
Especially after sex...
Like "Where am I? Who are you?"

Is it okay if a child is precocious or is it still pedophilia?

I'm a bit split when it comes to the abortion question, on the one hand, I like to kill children. On the other hand, I oppose increased rights for women.

I once saw a black man running on the street, holding a TV, I thought it was mine, but nope, mine was still at home, polishing my shoes

What are the similarities between a Jew and a stiff nipple?
Both disappear after a hot shower

I called my son a damn disappointment and my girlfriend burst into tears.
Obviously she has not overcome the miscarriage.

Do you know how to save a negro from drowning?
-No?
-Good.

I was at a restaurant and noticed my waitress had a black and blue eye. So I made my order veeeery slowly. She's obviously not very good at listening

>How many dead prostitutes does it take to change a light bulb?
Not 4, my basement is still dark

>What does a baby look like when ya put it in the microwave for 2 minutes?
Don't know, I close my eyes when I masturbate

>What's worse than the Holocaust?
6 million Jews

What's the best thing about showering with a 12 year old girl?

If you slick her hair back, she looks like an 8 year old boy.

lmfao! havent heard that since I was a kid

Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms?
>They fall through the holes in his hands.

Wow

boomer detected

wut

What breaks when you give it to toddlers?
>Their hips.

damn Sup Forumsro

>What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed to death?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
>You know what I hate about fucking German girls?
They always gotta feel the need to tell you their age, "Nein Nein Nein Nein Nein" like bitch I know your age.

Three Catholic priest are on a boat with some other people when suddenly, the boat begins to sink.

The first priest says "women and children first!"

The second priest says "fuck the children!"

The third says "do.. Do you think there's time?"

>>"How many VietNam vets does it take to change a light bulb?"
>>"I don't know, how m-"
"YOU DON'T KNOW MAN, YOU WEREN'T THERE!!"

>>German knock-knock joke:
>>Knock Knock
>>Who's there?
VE ASK ZE QVESTIONS!!"

out of 6 people enjoy gang rapes.

>>How do you stop 5 black guys from raping a white girl?
Throw them a basketball.

>>What's the difference between a Taliban training camp and a Pakistani elementary school?
I don't know, I just fly the drone.

>> My girlfriend got her period in the middle of us going down on each other.
It was a 6.9.

I'm waiting for a rapper to have the name Tree Fiffs.

>>When I bowl, I come close, but I can never get all 10 pins down. My score sounds like a German rape.
"9...9...9...9...9..."

>what do a cue ball and a mexican have in common

the harder you hit them the more english you get out of them

>how many cops does it take to push a handcuffed prisoner down a flight of steps?

none, they tripped

What did Hitler say when Goebbels came over for dinner? "If I knew you were coming, I'd have baked a kike!"

An abbo mother says to her daughter: "when your father comes home from prison today he's gonna stick his most prized possession where you pee."
Daughter says: "Why's he gonna put his petrol can in the sink?"

OMG THIS MAN HAS A FAMILY! - J.R.

>How is Jesus like Josef Fritzl's kids?

He only had two grandparents, he disappeared from the time he was twelve until he was thirty, his mother watched him get nailed, and his father is the big man upstairs.

What do you call a black chick giving birth?
>taking a shit
What’s long black and smelly?
>unemployment line
What do you call a bunch of blacks in a barn?
>ancient farm tools

you need professional help m8

What do you call the world's most expensive haircut?

Chemotherapy

A man with only a dollar goes into a brothel.
The man asks the manager, hey i only got a buck, got any super cheap hookers? dont even care if shes diseased.
The manager thinks for a second and says, well we have a dead one upstairs. Give her a rinse and you can have at her.
The man agrees, pays a dollar and goes upstairs.
half an hour later he comes back down, all sweaty but with a big grin on his face.
The manager asks how was it?
The man smiles and answers, "it was great! except her nose was all runny."
The manager thinks for a moment and says "oh its time to empty her, shes full again."

So, there's this old yente and she wins $10 million in the lottery. She takes the money to her accountant.
>"First I wanna invest $5 million inna stock exchange here."
>"OK, Miriam. That's a good idea."
>"Next, I wanna give $4 million to Israel."
>"OK, Miriam."
>"Lastly I wanna give $1 million to the American Nazi Party so they can build a statue of Adolf Hitler."
>"Oy vey, Miriam! Why in G-d's name do you wanna do that?"

Miriam the yente rolls up her sleeve and points to her tattoo.

>"Because, bubuleh, he gave me the winning number."

Here's an other one.


A little girl walks into the washroom just as her father steps out of the shower.
The little girl asks "daddy, when am i going to get a penis?"
The father looks at her and says "when mommy goes to work".

Did you hear about Evel Kenevil's cousin, Klu Klux Kenevil?

He tried to jump 50 niggers with a steam roller.

LMAO!! A JEW GIVING MONEY TO A CHARITY! !! PRICELESS...

>Why do police dogs lick their assholes?
To get the taste of nigger out of their mouths.

What starts with "N," ends with "R," and is a word you never want to call a black person?
"Neighbor."

Fucking kekked

>What do you call a Jewish Pokemon trainer?
Ash.

>What's the difference between Andrew Jackson and Jack Daniels?
Jack Daniels is still killing Injuns.

How can you tell your sister is on her period?

Your dad's cock tastes like blood. duh.

Difference between a baby and an apple?
>I don't come all over an apple before I eat it
I think every 14 year old knew these

fpbp

...

I knew this one as:
Why do you put a baby in the blender feet first?
So you can cum on its face.

A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street and a little boy on a bike passes them. The priest says "Lets fuck him!" and the rabbi says "Out of what?"

...

How can you tell when an Asian is lying?
>When he says his dicks' as big as his IQ

To tru

Tbh yeah, it's been a while so I can't remember em all. It's like those free credit report dot com commercials that me and my autistic friends learned and would repeat ad nauseum around that time

yeah, he means in millimeters

What's more disgusting than a dumpster full of dead babies
One's alive at the bottom
What's worse than that?
He eat's is way up
What's even worse than that?
He goes back in because he is still hungry

I have a few more Asian jokes

What's another name for an Atom Bomb?
>Antique Rice Cooker

Go to bed, Milo.

q. what's brown and sticky?

a. a stick

What is black and has twelve tits?
>a trash bag outside the breast cancer ward

>what's the difference between a black Jew and a white Jew?

Black Jew goes in the back of the oven.

What's the difference between black people and snow tires?
>>Snow tires don't sing when you put chains on them.

What's the difference between a Jew and a Pizza?
>>Pizzas don't scream when you put them in the oven.

What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies?
>>I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

I was not expecting a historical joke

Hadn’t heard that. Good follow up

what did hitler say to the black jew?

get to the back of the oven

Pretty twisted

Why do German shower heads have eleven holes?

>Jews only have ten fingers.

Why is aspirin white?

>Because it works.

What's the difference between a Catholic priest and acne?

>Acne doesn't cover your face with white shit until you hit puberty.

What's the difference between a suicide vest and a feminist?

>A suicide vest accomplishes something when it's triggered.

Two to the one to the one to the three