How can I kill myself with it looking like an accident...

How can I kill myself with it looking like an accident? The only thing keeping me around is how it would destroy my family if I ended it, but the thought of how we have no purpose and are a cosmic accident terrifies me and I can't stay here dancing on the stage.
INB4 "don't do it" "you can talk to me" "Kurt Cobain it"

I should mention it'd be better if it was a painless death as well

go into the bad part of town and start screaming "SIEG HEIL NIGGERS"

This

Bruce Willis

handgun, gun cleaning equipment, boom, headshot, "weapon accidentally discharged while he was cleaning it."

heh, old joke, "how do i get to Dublin Hospital?"

"Stand on that corner and scream "FOOK THE IRISH"

>tries cleaning loaded weapon
Does he want people to think that he was retarded too?

Funny how suicidal people always seem to think that being "accidentally" killed will somehow not destroy their family.

Buy a bottle of helium and like, 100 balloons. Fill the balloons with helium and tie them to the gun. Now shoot yourself and let the gun float away.
???
Profit

Car crash. Get up to highway speed, find something solid and steady to crash into. Pretty much instant if you're going fast enough.

I was thinking of this earlier hive mind at work

If it's an accident then it's better than the person choosing to leave them behind

Well you could drink a bottle of whisky then try walking down a very long stairway

Overdose on fentanyl derp
Your family will blame the drugs
Fucking clever eh

The LD50 of raw potatoes is like eight whole potatoes. Use a blender to make a "healthy smoothy" and chug away.

If you don't know what LD50 means, googling it will help a lot.

Squad

Still my fault though, I'd want it to look completely accidental and to not change how they remember me. Their druggie son's death would be terrible to live with

Not trying to be a fag, but if you're at the point of ending your life, do something ridiculous like join a suicide cult or a militia or something. You'd be a hero to a very small number of people and your family would say "oh it was just that cult/militia/power bottom bug chaser gang's fault"

helium, cpap mask etc.

leave lots of buzz lightyear erotic fan fiction around so they think you're an autist with a hardon for infinity and beyond

go on a "spirit journey", eat a fuck ton of mescaline and die to the elements/dehydration/apex predators. Not a warriors death, but not a bitch either.

Background: I'm in my 4th year of medicine, anything like that (especially involving gasses and chemicals/drugs) will be obvious since it'd be assumed I'm well aware of the risks. And I'm only a little autistic.

"Slip and fall" into speeding traffic

this ones a slow burn, so hold on.

leave your shoes untied, all the damn time.
for months, be seen tripping on yo got damned shoelaces for pete's sake!
get nicknamed "tripping fag"
trip yo ass in front of a truck or something i dunno man, you're putting so many specific demands to this suicide request that I really feel you should just try running the fuck away from everything and trying to make a new life. who knows, you could end up marrying a stripper with a heart of gold who accidentally gets you hooked on heroin and you both slowly descend into madness and tragedy while you turn into real spoopy skellies? Like, if shit can get no worse, why not become a mercenary in fucking liberia? Those motherfuckers do coke and fight rivals naked. If you have nothing to live for, you have nothing to lose.

Your literally too stupid to die.

Play blue whale. It will be out of your control.

Enter an underground fighting tournament. Endure years of cuts, scars, concussions and broken bones before having a heart attack due to the steroids your mafia backed manager pushes on you.

*You're

Yeah man, I should read a book.

Not a half bad idea, getting away could work just as well

Hold your breath as long as possible trying to get a Guiness world record.

Leaving the stove gas on would look like a retarded fuckup

Free-diving record attempt, that's dynamite

Get a shit load of bad tattoos before you leave town. Go some place small. Establish yourself as a gun toting self important gangster. Enjoy minor fame, and when the 5-0 gets too hot for you, skip town on your highschool dropout girlfriend you picked up along the way who thought your dirtbike was cool. Go to the next state over, rinse, repeat, fuck small town pussy until nothing matters anymore and you mainline a fat shot of dope before driving your sick harley head on into a mack truck sunburnt as a raisin at the ripe ole age of 48

total faggot here, but if it would destroy your family if you were dead wouldn't it be less painful for them if you admitted you were a furry? I mean, they may wish you had died, but you would still be around if they needed a blood or organ transplant from a family member.

Find a place where no one goes and dig a tunnel.

Get something that will make you go to sleep and then kill you.

Crawl in to the tunnel and seal it behind you by collapsing the entrance.

Go to sleep.

enjoy the afterlife.

>buy dashcam with driver cam
>go for a drive on a high-speed undivided highway
>as oncoming truck approaches, "fall asleep", and drift right (or left for amerifats)
>profit