Suicide techniques? I'm turning 30 in a few months and I want to end it before then...

Suicide techniques? I'm turning 30 in a few months and I want to end it before then. What are the most efficient and painless ways to off one self?

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you are gay if you kill yourself

I won't be anything if I'm dead, so that doesn't really matter.

lostallhope.com/suicide-methods/statistics-most-lethal-methods

good luck user

How would one acquire cyanide?

you will always be gay, just because you can't think of it doesn't mean you aren't one

This thread makes me really sad for some reason, OP you've lived almost lived 30 years why do you want to end it now?

...

Heh good luck.
Tried overdosing, now kidney failed.
Relative tried hanging now has brain damage.

Just take meds and you'll prob die someday anyway

Go do a bunch of awesome stuff. Buy a Ferrari. Travel the world. Quit your job by slapping your dick onto the CEO's desk. Do amazing things that nobody ever gets to do. Why not? You'll be dead soon. You may as well live for at least one week before you go. If you don't, then you probably don't actually want to die.

I don't see any reason to keep going. I work and come home, rinse and repeat. No matter how I try to change things it just gets worse. When I bring it up to my 'best' friend his response is essentially 'uh why dont you just not be sad'.

I'm going to die alone, sad and unfulfilled. I'd rather get it over now than wait another 60 years, as my family is somewhat long lived.

Just gonna say, nothing is that easy. I don't have enough money and I work for the government. I'm living paycheque to paycheque so I don't have the room to go nuts.

You can try helium bag.

But be warned. If you hate your life now, you're gonna hate it a lot more if your attempt fails.

'if u want to kill yourself, just start shitting money and serotonin'

shove your fauxenlightenment back into your neck bearded mouth.

That's why I want a sure thing. I don't want to wake up and still be alive.
Pretty much this. I appreciate someone wanting to help, but not with non-advice.

Most Painless - Exit bag

Most Badass - I call it "The Works"

At the top of a decently tall building, tall enough to reach maximum velocity while falling, you stand with a noose, painkillers, a knife, aspirin, gas and matches, and handgun. Tie the noose to the building and wrap it around your neck. Pop as many painkillers as you can, followed by aspirin. Douse yourself in gas, slice your arms up (down the road) light yourself on fire, jump off the building and shoot yourself in the mouth before the noose rips your head off. Bonus points for a highly public area with lots of foot traffic

Most Confusing - I call it "The CIA Hit"

When you inevitably fail with the exit bag (and hopefully haven't given yourself extreme brain damage from it) bring the rest of the helium to the middle of a large open field, along with a BUNCH of balloons and a handgun. You can add to the facade by tearing all tags off your clothes, bring no ID of any kind, etc. Fill the balloons enough to support the weight of the handgun. Tie them to the gun, shoot yourself, and let the gun float away. Do this on a very windy day in order to get the gun as far away as possible. When you're found there will be no talk of suicide. If you're clever you can make it look like you were deep into crazy top secret shit and were killed for it. You can also make it look like it was political and that you were some sort of secret spy. The possibilities are endless really.

My Favorite - I call it "The Woodsman"

Throw a party for your 30th birthday in a rented cabin near the woods. Ironically enough, I too plan to die at 30 and this will be my method when I get to age 30 in 5 years. Invite everyone you know, the more people there the better. Now this is simple but tricky at the same time. Basically it's similar to "The CIA Hit" in that you really need to prepare cleverly to get the idea across. Come up with a crazy reason to wildly run into the forest. Start screaming about aliens, bigfoot, the government, whatever. Once you have everyone's attention, yell "I SAW IT GO INTO THE FUCKING WOODS I WON'T LET IT GET AWAY THIS TIME, NOT AGAIN!" And then run into the forest alone. Run as far as possible, far enough for the gunshot to be inaudible to anyone at the party. Off yourself deep in the wilderness where no one will find you. You will forever be known as the guy who's probably living with aliens or Bigfoot.

That's actually a pretty valid reason. Still, once you reach the bottom there's no other way to go but up. I used to be in your situation a few years back although I am quite a bit younger than you (24)

Try setting goals for yourself, and maybe read one of those cheesy inspiration books, they actually kind of work. My goal was gaining weight and getting fit (I was a twig back then). It took a while to do, but it got my mind off of things for awhile, long enough for me to secure a new job and have a new girlfriend, who I'm still with now.

Things get better man, trust me. Give it a few more years, you got this man.

ITT: TEENAGERS.


This guy is 30 your 16 yearold wisdom and retarded jokes can't help him. He has probably lived for double your lifetime, or three times your accessible memory, stop being so egotistical to think some brain fart u shit out will change his life, or even raise his brows.

If you want to talk add me on discord: Sultads#5647

Don't do it. Even if you have the shittiest situation possible it is better then nothing. Even if it means you get to jerk off or eat something tasty it is better then throwing away the only chance you have to be conscious and sentient.

Sad truth that nothing assures a certain painless death unless you know a doctor willing to euthanize you.

Even shooting yourself in the head could result in so much pain and you still being alive and hospitalized.

Take some meds hun.
Zoloft isn't expensive and I'm doing fine after taking it.
Fine as in I don't want to kill myself.

yo man I struggle with just giving up all the time. Life is hard and unfair and LONG AS FUCK.

I just focus on the shit I like, I have a lot of favourite shows that I am waiting on next seasons of. Shit like that.

Allegedly the only chance we have

Take drugs, if you're suicidal you might as well experiment with different states of consciousness, try weed or lsd or something, u might fall in love with one.

Fucking this. Anybody who tries to show him the good part of living is wasting their breath. I was diagnosed with MDD at 16 and Bipolar at 19. I'm 25 now, and not one person in the last 9 years has been able to "talk me out of" depression

I've set a few goals and achieved a couple, but it falls flat. I can't find love and I'm trapped in an area where it's impossible to find anyone and very hard to meet anyone online.

This is why I followed the assisted dying bill so much here. I wished it included people who don't want to continue living.

I can't focus on the things I like. Now I actually hate getting into them. I used to relish Sundays as my friends and I would play roleplaying games together but now I have to drag my ass out of bed to log on.
Since we all die eventually, does it matter? If I eventually cease to exist then I will always lose.

Yeah, you literally can't unless you're giving them meds 100%

Not OP but have extreme bouts of suicidal thoughts. I've come to the "solution" to that argument and it's this: No matter what happiness I will have in my future, I won't even know I'm missing it because I'll be dead. It won't matter.

>have to drag my ass out of bed to log on.


Why user, just serotonin or..?

Have you tried taking a vacation, OP? I don't think you have depression as in the mental issue, just temporary depression because of the situation that you're in right now, feel free to correct me if I'm wrong but that's what it sounds like to me.

It could be the environment that you're in. Look for new jobs in different states - Seattle or Denver are great places to be right now. A change in scenery might be good for you.

When I say I'm going to do something I do it. Especially if I promise to my friends.
Pretty much why I feel like death is the answer. The only reason I haven't done it now is because I'm still conscious. I have this thought of my mom crying, asking if she made some kind of mistake as she looks at my baby pictures. I want to end my pain but I don't want to cause her any.

I've actually moved all around the country. Canada, by the way, which is expensive as fuck to fly in. I've done different jobs and now I'm back in my home town. I've got some time off which I plan to spend at home. But I doubt it'll help with more than my sleep as I won't have to wake up on time.
I don't blame them for trying. It's flattering, actually. I used to think that way. I hope they can keep that optimism.

Ending now resulting of not seeing your own tomorrow that's what scares me the most i think all of us have been there some still stuck try changing job get out of government funded salary how bout restaurant? Or any other that you like. Motor ,car? Anything look for a job in other country ? There is so many things to do like traveling...

Well 2 of the 4 options I laid out will eliminate the possibility of her thinking you offed yourself lol

Dude. When someone wants to kill themselves, telling them what else they could be doing doesn't do shit.

I had many dreams when I was younger but recently I wanted to open a hobby store, specifically one that caters to not just grognards but to young men who need a hobby. Someone who needs a way to be creative as sports aren't the only outlet. I don't know if it would work as I have no business training.

I'm considering it. Not the Works, of course.

>I never got why people would kill themselves.
>So if you die, you obviously don't give a shit. Like, about anyone. 'cause if there is anyone who loves you, you don't give a FUCK about them, or hurting them, and if there's not, there's no one to give a shit about.
>So instead of killing yourself why don't you just get the fuck out? Leave the basement, leave your house, leave the mother fucking country. Go on an adventure. Spend your time doing something awesome, like tracking down some terrorists. Go be James Bond. Go fuck up a shark with a harpoon. Danger? Fuck that, you were going up against 100% death rate before, you're being safe now. Fuck EVERYTHING, man, the world is your oyster.
>Sometimes I wish I was suicidal. I'd pull the barrel out of my mouth and point it in the air, start a revolution, LIVE. Move to Barcelona or Rome or Berlin, hit the bars, band some chicks. STD's who fucking gives a shit?
>And then when I'm done, maybe I wouldn't want to kill myself, 'cause I've seen how beautiful the world really is.

Thinking of other hobby he might be into, seriously changing daily routine will help a lot to not think about killing himself and he said on a thread that he's tired of repetition of his daily life

Money. Charisma. Influence.

You have the realize how quickly mental states can change. Today and tomorrow you might feel like shit, but in a year from now you might feel on top of the world. I spent all of 2015-2016 horribly anxious and depressed with suicidal thoughts. Finally at the beginning of this year instead of killing myself I decided to see a psychodynamic therapist and it was the best decision of my life. It honestly just worked. I still see him every two weeks and can safely say I've been cured of 99,9% of my anxiety and depression. Do yourself a favour and give it a try before offing yourself. You won't regret it.

that's a big ass balloon to support the weight of a handgun.

Unfortunately I don't live in an area where I can see a psychiatrist regularly. I work in a hospital and there's a locum who comes up here every four months and I've seen her twice. I really like her logical approach, I can't stand someone trying to pity me.

I've felt awful since I was in my mid teens and it's gotten worse over the last seven years. Strange that I had to remember how long it's been, I was about to say five years. I've been low for so long and it just gets worse every year. Hell, every week.

The thread seems to be dying now but I appreciate the responses. Sometimes that's all I needed.

Its your decision to make it a reality research about your hobby store how to handle,profit,problem that might arise from time to time my point is doing something else enabling you to interact to other people new people not just people that you are accustomed to plus its yours so i already assume that you are knowledgeable to what you do i been thinking the same like you coz i don't have a job for 2 years, now im just waiting for my ticket to start to work in other country change my perspective about life, look all im saying is if you are tired of the things that you do make something else for a change take a risk and if you die somehow taking that risk you wont regret it coz you already thinking of dying anyway .. well hope you change your mind

Pop some blood thinners.
And then shoot yourself.
With a shot gun.
To the face.
If the shot doesnt kill you, blood loss will.

Well, first off, I look at it this way, everyone dies eventually so just ride it out because one day all of us here will finally get the big sleep.

Secondly, if you are going to cash your chips in early, use a sawed off shotgun like the one a posted. Make sure one shell is buckshot and one a heavy slug. Put in mouth aimed more towards the middle of your brain then pull both triggers at once. Nobody will survive that.

Alright, what you’re gonna do is take some wire and tire it around your neck, then tire it too a tree, then superglue your hands to your head and wait for it to dry, once it does, jump, the wire will decapitate you and it will look like you ripped your head off

Now that's just silly.

Kek

just disappear forget about it start a new life find friends seek god

Im going to say dont do it and Im only going to give you one reason. I nearly died in a car accident this month, but I was on my way to kill myself anyway. Didnt even get the chance to talk about it. If I had to die though, it would have been then. Now you can ignore fate or try and take control of it and give up, but nothing is more freeing and fulfilling than just find peace in your powerlessness. Yes you're going to die. That doesnt mean you dont get to live, even if not all the time, pursue something greater and if it doesnt pan out, take the time to not take yourself too seriously and laugh a little until you get hope again. You said you did role playing, and even if that doesnt excite you anymore, know you have a sense of imagination ready for more. Its not a lot but its something, and it might not mean something now, and honestly maybe it never will, but why waste the chance? Just hang on, even if its for one person who might need you years from now, you're worth it and nobody is going to be able to convince you of that but you. Get better soon.

>having a genuine desire to commit suicide
>asking Sup Forums

Pick one.

wood chipper nigger .
head first.
bonus points if you set it up to spray the remains into your parents bedroom

Thankfully I no longer live with my mom. A while back I ran into some trouble and I had to live in a closet.

>autismos
>retards
>degenerates
>newfags being edgy
breddy gud place to ask advice imo

Don't be a selfish pussy. Think about how your family and friends would feel.

>A while back I ran into some trouble and I had to live in a closet
wut.

spray your meat slosh through the neighbours window then.

I used to, and it was in an apartment building. Plus I knew the landlord so I couldn't be a dick about it as my mom would have paid the consequences.

i dont care about any of this but it sounds like you are pretty desperate to talk things out which means you probably dont want to an hero.
if you do though ,take a running leap head first into a wood chipper and position the other end to feed into someones window.

You can buy a lot of poisons at a pharmacy, including cyanide. You just have to be 16 and tell them why you need it, so look up a inconspicuous reason to buy it

Honestly I don't. If I had more options I would choose to live. But I don't.

Oh..It's very simple. Just Live. All living creatures will inevitably experience death. So till then just Live.

In sorrow for another sixty years?

nah foo , if you were serious you would have already done it .you definitely wouldnt be reaching out to Sup Forums
get help nig

Ooo good one! This reminds me of my idea, I call it "swimming with the fishes." Basically you go to a body of water and walk out as far as you can. Once you get out there wrap duct tape around your head to make it look like you were blindfolded. Then, just fucking blow a hole through your head with a handgun. You will wash up on shore, and the gun will be way out in the lake where you dropped it. People will think you got whacked by the mob or some other cool shit. You can obviously spice it up with extra details like some torn up clothes or frayed rope around your ankles to make it look like they tried to give you concrete feet

Like I said, I don't want to kill myself. But I feel that it will eventually happen because I can't find anything worth living for.

Lol sixty. Nah, probably more like 40, 45. But still, thats a long time. I dont want to live that long either.

> I'm turning 30 in a few months and I want to end it before then.

>Like I said, I don't want to kill myself.

pick one bitch.

seriously wallowing in self-pity will get you nowhere user , just keep shitposting until you go numb like the rest of us

I'm almost 30 now and I'm just guessing based on family history. The only person in my family who died under 90 was a guy who drank and chain smoked until he was in his 70s since he was 11.

Clearly you didn't read anything else.

It's a part of life. Sorrow, pain, happiness, pleasure. The world is not beautiful therefore it is.

i came here to suggest death by wood chipper and you told me about the time you lived in a closet.

get some drugs into you and you'll be fine. or maybe you wont and you'll have the balls to off yourself .either way go get high and come back tomorrow.