Been abused all my life by my mother

>been abused all my life by my mother
>begin to want bad things to happen to me
>physical assault,sexual assault,etc.
>have little to know idea why i want this
>I'm a horrible person for wanting these things to happen to me

Are you a female or a little bitch faggot male

What kind of abuse?

female

sexual,physical,emotional

What's ur kik

how much do you weigh fatty

>tfw can only cum if I feel like I might die now
>there's an abandoned hospital a 30 mile drive from me
>I drive there once a week
>Climb in through a fire escape then a window
>leave all my clothes in a fire hose box
>only illuminated exit signs as my only source of light
>make my way naked and vulnerable in the dark down five floors to the ultrasound room
>horribly claustrophobic but force myself to climb into the malfunctioning machine
>Blast the biggest load and feel drained after it
>immediately terrified of my surroundings
>find my way back to the surface
>drive home - swear I'll not do it again

Thats terrible. When/how did it start?

Snapchat? Kik? I'll pretend to care about you and occasionally send you dick pics

show them tiddies

damaged goods

>die
>go to heaven
>tons of priests
>tfw molested for eternity anyways

Is this what you want user?

are you just retarded or what

Checkd

Kek this fucking basement dwelling virgin

2 edgy, pls stop

when i was around 6.
i don't remember how it started

Checkd what you fucking faggot

Sexual story?

>inb4 chad knocks you up

roll

my mom used to abuse me daily as well. she would beat the shit out of me all the time and tell me how she wanted to kick me out of the house or send me to foster care. then one day as she was beating on me i hit her back. she kicked me out of the house right after that when i was 12. never spoke to her again. now i hate all women. they are disgusting creatures

interesting story. do you have any idea why you feel this way?

I don't know how to offer support for you without sounding like one of these desperate basement dwelling bettas. If you would like to talk sometime you are welcome to hit me up on Kik: frizanon .
I survived childhood sexual also, it definitely affected who I am as an adult. I have children of my own and I'm determined to "break cycle", but somedays my self loathing is harder to cope with than others. It helps to have someone to talk to. Please don't hesitate to reach out.

I'm happy you at least got away from her.
also,women are pretty fucked,not gonna lie

I've heard victims of abuse become so used to it that they begin to want it to happen. that's all I know

Sounds like you're ready for marriage.

pics?

thank you

I remember crying real hard and having an older boy threatening to kill me if I told anyone. Guess I was molested or something. Apart from my ritual my life is pretty good so don't really care.

You just want pussy, faggot. She can call a hot line, no one wants to "hit you up" on kik. ITS A TRAP OP

your ritual reminds me of a nightmare that returns regularely. you fear it but you want it at the same time.

you're probably right

Not at all. I know what it's like, I especially know that the holidays tends to make things worse; you look out and everyone seems so happy. You just want to lock yourself away. You throw on a fake smile and pretend you give a fuck, while you scream inside because you just can't truly feel a connection to all the joy around you. So feel even more disconnected, which makes your self hatred even worse. It's a vicious cycle that propagates itself.
No for a change I want to do something that is mostly altruistic. If I stand to gain anything, it's having another person I can also talk to that has been there. Helping people is my own way of trying to cope.

exactly

Try jacking off somewhere horrible. Where you might legitimately get eaten by monsters.

call facial abuse and do a set with them, get your punishment/medicine and get paid for it at the same time

what triggers you to drive there and do it?

i'll give you a chance then

loud noises,touching near my legs or chest,people rubbing any part of my body.screaming

It's just the single most erotic experience of my life everytime. The sneaking through a whole building so vulnerable and exposed. Knowing something could get you at any time. It's great on the way down but on the way up it's the worst. I just leave a gun outside the room but next time I might not.

yes