IT'S HAD IT'S FUCKING PREMIERE. WHERE THE FUCK ARE THE SPOILERS?

IT'S HAD IT'S FUCKING PREMIERE. WHERE THE FUCK ARE THE SPOILERS?

They're back at Lucasfilm, wishing they hadn't made such a gay-assed movie.

Bump

People don't want to admit that their favorite childhood movies have been ruined forever by the Hollywood Jews.

kylo kills snope
rey kills luke
leia somehow lives

what row were you in at the premier? I was like 7 rows back.

They arent coming. The people at the premier are professional reviewers and journalists, they're contractually bound to stfu. They wont risk losing their early access privileges to spoil it for people.

Since trips

>ever seen animal house
>imagine that but more Jedi
>kylo is the leader of the jock frat house
>Rey just gets pregnant and cries a lot because Finn doesn't share his food stamps
>snuke is like the dean of the school
>put Jedi house on probation
>they got to raise $4000 or get kicked out forever
>Luke and Rey through bitching party
>George Clinton is therefore bustin da funk
>obiwan shows up with tons of weed with yoda
>Luke and Rey make enough money to save Jedi house
>but her baby dies becuase she drinks and does meth

Can't wait for episode IX

absolute bullshit

Kylo kills snoke and Luke.

Kylo cuts snoke in half to save Rey. Luke has some complicated death involving some new force power.

Prove me wrong

u saying wat u son of basterd bich

Fucking keking at the fact they set up some storyline for the next movie involving Leia, but she dead IRL.

You read it trekie

I already know what happened to Mr. Krabs' mom. Back in July, um Mr. Krabs' mom went to jail for nine less years for grounding Mr. Krabs. And now Eugene Krabs is taken to foster care to live with Squidward and three of his nephews. You know three nephew Crabs that look like Eugene Krabs in Spongebob episode Stanley S. SquarePants. Well i want you to help me realize that it's illegal to punish someone. And i feel strongly about disciplining children, that it's illegal to discipline someone and punish someone. I feel strongly, I'm concerned about other children okay? I'm concerned about other people. I'm glad that mom and dad don't punish me. I'm glad they don't 'cause I'm nice. I'm glad they don't punish me. My mom and dad are great parents okay? I still think it's illegal to punish someone. So, just like what happened in spongebob episode mid life crustacean. Mr. Krabs got punished by his mom, for stealing her bloomers. Which is illegal to punish someone. Mr. krabs is an adult so he should not get punished. Once you're an adult you don't have to be punished by your parents ok? I just know that okay? So Mr. Krabs got nine -- No no no no no no no no no no no no no. Betsy Krabs got nine less years in prison for grounding Mr. Krabs. Official sentence took place October 5th, and they determined that her sentence is gonna be nine less years. And you know what's probably gonna happen after Mr. Krabs' mom gets out of prison? She's gonna get checked into a psych ward, announced crazy and she's probably gonna get out in a lot less times than that. Then she's probably gonna come out and do the same thing again. And then what? You're gonna sentence her for nine less years in prison again? Well who cares, because Betsy Krabs is getting nine less years in prison for grounding Mr. Krabs. So Mr. Krabs is taken to foster care to live with Squidward and three nephew crabs.

Roll

I don't even follow Star Wars and I've been hearing this for weeks. They did film parts of this near where I live though, the scenes with Luke on those barren ass rocks. Can confirm Mark Hamill is a genuinely nice person.

Rollerino

found the retard

I will fucking DESTROY you FAGGOT

I know what happens... Capt. Kirk wipes out all their wimpy asses.

Detective Dunce right here

Here's a spoiler; it's fucking shit and degenerate

Shepherd betrays roach

How complicated

...

> degenerate

Delicious alt-retard tears.

Nice OP trips but still a fag. Oh that Hon Solo old dude dies. His daughter kills him.

R2D2 DIES

KILLED BY HIS SON

BB8

Dumbledore kills Snoke

Luke dies. He apparently gets his power drained because he's at different places at the same time.
.
Kylo and Rey team up. They defeat what he calls "Snoke" However, that apparently doesn't mean that Kylo turns good. He still remains in the First Order
.
- Rey becomes stronger.
.
- Leia remains in the Resistance. Doesn't die.

Resistance is blown to hell at beginning.
There is a plot of about tracking to lightspeed so Resistance will not go to lightspeed. Entire movie is FO chasing Resistance.
Finn are dispatched to find how not to track in lightspeed.
Finn and Rose and BB-8 goes to Casino looking for Code ******* to get him onboard to disable tracking device of FO.
Poe is till hot shot pilot and goes rogue pilot and blows up missle/air defenses. Leia is pissed at him and demotes him for going Rogue. He causes mutiny and towards end of film but helps Resistence escape to planet.
Luke uses his lightsaber in two flash back scenes.
Rey leaves Luke and goes to fight Kylo.
HUMOR Porgs are everywhere. Chewbacca accidentally kills one and almost eats one. Three porgs show up with sad eyes and he does not.
Battle between Rey and Kylo is not final battle of movie. Kylo kills Snoke. Kylo and Rey team up. Rey does not turn. Rey escapes. Reys lightsaber is destroyed and does not have one at end.
Final battle is between Luke and Kylo but Luke is still on Achto and projecting his image and never leaves Achto. He has so much Force power to project himself. He dies at end. Force drained.
Luke does talk to Leia but its his projected image.
Kylo is super evil at end. Luke should have killed him when he had a chance at academy or will he be redeemed in #9.
Movie ends with everyone on Falcon reunited Rey, Leia, Poe, Finn, R2, Chewbacca, BB-8. Resistance is really done. Rey does not have lightsaber at end. But can retrieve Luke’s on Achto.
Also movie ends with Leia alive so 9 should have been her movie most likely converting Kylo back to good side. No sure where they will go with that now.

This sounds scarily plausible. Better not kill off Luke. There'll be no other reason to watch the fucking thing. New characters are all shit.

It's complicated because it's one of the major twists in the movie. You're lead to believe he dies in battle with Ren but like other posters said he's using some force projection. I'm going by multiple sources that seem to agree with one another.

We'll just have to wait and see.

Death star III or no?

Mwja

Probably cuz she couldnt take the constant rapes from disney

Wut