Iam 27, suffer from moderate depression, beta cuck...

Iam 27, suffer from moderate depression, beta cuck, weird fetishes (like masturbating/bathing in cow manure (related to this case).

What this is about, is a girl with whom i want to get in contact again. Around 5 years ago we were really close friends, she helped me through a hard time. Of course i fucked it up because she back then had a boyfriend (who was also a friend of mine).

I felt in love with her, never told her, but i got sometimes angry at her boyfriend because he treated her like shit. That was the turning point, she got angry at me because i was an asshole to her boyfriend and we lost contact.

The fucking shit is i think all the time about her, still after 5 (nearly 6 years) i cant forget her, sometimes i have dreams about her and after that the whole day is fucked up because i get really depressed about it.

My fucked up plan is now, since i´am to scared if i contact her that she reject and ignores me, that i "force her to contact me".
I want to send her some awkward/personal pictures/videos and make it look like i got hacked, so she contact me. This way i think we can somehow reconnect.

So now back to my fetish, i know it sounds weird and fucked up, but i grew up in the country and dont mind to get dirty, also over the years i developed a fetish for cow manure. I simply get aroused by the smell and the feeling of it.

Inb4: why do you fucktard want to send her something like that? Because not many know about that fetish of mine and i want to know how she reacts, if she reacts at all.
I know this is kinda fucked up but i want to know what you think about it in general or how you think she will respond.

bump

I think you may have an obsessive compulsive disorder.

And right now you are being obsessed over the only girl that ever gave you attention.

Truth is we will all meet super beautiful women that we imagine and fantasize over.

we will tell ourselves she is perfect in every way.

But the truth is she is probably some sort of emotionally manipulative bitch who causes trouble.

No matter how beautiful a girl is, some guy somewhere is tired of her shit.

Is this bait?

If not... how do YOU think she is going to respond to some creepy guy telling her he gets turned on by cow shit?

Protip: It's not going to be a good response, and she will probably tell people. You will be known as the cow shit guy forever and nobody will fuck you again.

So a girl who friendzoned you 6 years ago and has completely forgotten you even exist suddenly gets "hacked" pics of you jerking off covered in cow manure? This is brilliant OP. Please do this. I really think it can work.

Post yourself eating it

I bet she'll take you back and ask you to be her boyfriend. Get the balls right now and do it. And post screenshots. I want to see this happen

The point is i wont directly tell her, its more like she figures it out. If she asks me then i tell her that a ex girlfriend was into it and these pictures were taken during our relationship, something like that.
Weill i don´t really care what others think about me, she also lives in a different city so that wont be such a big problem. I don´t know if she would tell other people, but thats a risk with everything these days.
Yep exactly, i know i have some kind of ocd, i´ve tried to forget her and two other girls. The weird thing is with the other girls it was hard but no problem, i dont have any feelings for them anymore they´re like gone. But with here it feels like it wont stop, sometimes it drives me nuts.
Well the plan is to make it look like the "hacker" is going through my contact list. I don´t know if she has completly forgotten me, maybe.
eating it would be kinda unhealthy

It's definitely a bad idea, and you're a fucking autist for even having to ask.

But do it anyway and post results.

Wish I could say it gets better. It won't. Going on 17 years for me.

At least you aren't despised by people who still spent time with you out of necessity / personal gain. You're not hated, not cared for, not begrudgingly acknowledged and immediately abandoned afterwards. That's what my pain feels like OP. I am a social leper with pocketfull of gold.

17 years with the same person?

You should find another thing.

You need to create a phobia of cow shit. You disgusting sub human.

Oh yeah this is bound to work post screens

Bump

well i know it´s a bad idead still i want to do something, if its backfires then i know for sure and can put a closure to this.

Or maybe you just be upfront with her you dense fuck

and tell her what after 6 years? I´m not good at this shit

Girls are humans too, not fucking aliens. If you're genuine with her and tell her what's up she'll probably not ignore you, but if you do decide to do this regardless post results because these levels of stupidity are so off the fucking charts that it's funny

for me they are

Bit of a shitty situation, really.

But jerking off in a pool of literal cow shit isn't going to give you better results than treating them like humans. Literally talking solves everything always.

ok let´s put the cow shit thing aside. The thing is iam not the talkative guy, i don´t find the right words, or how to start a proper conversation with a girl i´m into.
After 6 years it´s like starting all over but with the disadvantage that we knew each other back then.

Then literally tell her how you're feeling. It's not rocket science. Also the apostrophe key is next to the semicolon (";") key dumbass.

yeah after 6 years i start writing her and tell her how i fell i can figure out how that will work