Eire éire

/A few hours until real autism hours/ edition

Other urls found in this thread:

4seasonshotel.ie/
youtube.com/watch?v=a6FyvK4DO6U
youtube.com/watch?v=dY17nDW-CX0
kancolle.wikia.com/wiki/Kamoi
viafondo.bandcamp.com/track/jag-vill-nd-vakna
twitter.com/AnonBabble

I thought /realautismhours/ was the midnight to 4am period?

rate the cake i made with love earlier today
tfw no average irish gf to share it with

Why do people insist on putting full sentences between the //. It doesn't work like that.

On /airlan/ every hour is real autism hours user.

I guess it's really when most posters go to sleep or we start talking about mental illness and shit.

Meme misuse is a serious problem. And he forgot the /'s in the subject line.

The shtate of you lads in an argument.

>DURR GO BACK TO INGLUN

What is this? Three days now threads have been fucked by petty arguing and political bullshit?

>tfw it suddenly hits you again that the world would keep turning without you
>you have no skills or worth that make you irreplaceable to anybody
>you are insignificant in the grand scheme of things
>the chances of you achieving anything of noteworthy merit are low
>you will be forgotten forever not long after you die
>there will come a time when your name is said for the last time ever
In retrospect, I think this would have been better for /bant/.

Still feel like I missed my chance on suicide. Should've done it in secondary when people would've got distraught over it. Now if I do it I'm just another failure like that lad who graduated from my secondary then killed himself in college. We had a mass for him. Honestly don't think I'd kill myself in Summer just because I want the mass. If nothing else it'll let some students have a class or two off like I had.

>Brussels is a foreign power invading British sovereignty!
>what do you mean Northern Ireland isn't British?!

Norn is as British as England is European.

>what do you mean Northern Ireland isn't British
Didn't say it was?

What even is that?

Total shut-in friend like this killed himself after finishing the LC and this pretty much happened.
After all the funeral shit and one year anniversary by the time the 2nd year anniversary everyone just stopped caring. 7 years later and his existence is forgotten. Nobody even talks about him or goes to the anniversary shit.
Nobody even visits the grave
Why bother?

I tried to make a crême caramel but it ended up looking like an abortion so I threw it in the trash
My chocolate one was much better

Yeah a few people near me killed themselves in their mid 20s ,one in their 40 and another in 60s.
Nobody knew who they were because they were single loners. But of gossip because the scene the gardai and ambulance made but beyond that they might as well not existed.
Personally I have to wait until my grandparents die. Couldn't disappoint them. Not sure if I could do it to my parents either. The guilt and pressure of upsetting them is too much.
I'd definitely do it far away from home and like have someone else find me or ring the guards before offing myself leaving them to clean up.

Despite developing depression during Leaving Cert cycle, I don't think I was ever properly suicidal during that time. It was the last 2 years of college and after graduation that was the worst for me. Constant thoughts of killing myself on a daily basis, even if I don't think I ever seriously thought I could do it. Things are a bit better now in that I don't consider suicide to be a realistic option for the moment.

If I was to go through with it though, I don't want people to be distraught. In fact, that has always been the biggest barrier for me.

>Why bother?
Why bother what exactly?

>300 images saved in the last few hours
Bit burnt out.

>pressure of upsetting them is too much
What about all the anons that care for you user. Can't be upsetting them.
Will have to wait until all of them are dead as well.

It can be difficult for the ego to accept it's utter insignificance. But once you can take solace in the fact that you're not particularly important in any way and people don't consider you with the same critical criteria you hold yourself to, you stop agonizing over what I think are very egocentric hangups or anxieties and feel more comfortable in your skin you can get on with your life.

Wouldn't notice desu.

That looks much better but your lack of culinary pastry skills are worrisome for a French citizen.

Douglas?

>work in 5 hours
kill me please

That is very insightful and intelligent of you.

I get you in not wanting your family to find the body. I'd hate for them to have to break down the door to find my lifeless corpse. Luckily I live near some woods so finding a nice spot shouldn't be hard. Only one grandparent left too.
The village would probably have a lot of gossip over it, considering my father's had some health issues and he might be on the way out too. Honestly our family's fragmenting to hell since granny died.

>not having suicidal thoughts since you were a child
Casual.

>I don't consider suicide to be a realistic option for the moment
I don't think it's ever been a realistic option. Just a happy fantasy to alleviate my thoughts.

>I don't want people to be distraught
I'm the opposite, I get a sick comfort from people being worried over me. I love telling people something depressing or make a dark joke and they give you this concerned expression like they're worried for you.

>Nobody knew who they were because they were single loners
>tfw if I died the first person to notice would be your manager at work
The more I think about it, the more I understand why people fear dying alone. It's an irrational thing, but understandable nonetheless.

>Personally I have to wait until my grandparents die. Couldn't disappoint them. Not sure if I could do it to my parents either. The guilt and pressure of upsetting them is too much.
I know this feel desu.

>It can be difficult for the ego to accept it's utter insignificance
Especially when you were widely considered (even by my egotistical self) to have a bright future ahead of you.

>But once you can take solace in the fact that you're not particularly important in any way and people don't consider you with the same critical criteria you hold yourself to
But I can't take any solace in this. What's the point in living if your life serves no purpose? I've tried to find a reason for living, goals to pursue, things to believe in. But I always come up empty. And what's worse is that I used to have these things, and now I can't even remember what they were for my younger self.

>you stop agonizing over what I think are very egocentric hangups or anxieties and feel more comfortable in your skin you can get on with your life.
If by "get on with your life" you mean just going through the motions for the next few decades in an existence that barely resembles life, sure.

>It was the last 2 years of college and after graduation that was the worst for me.
Why? I found school so hard I never even got to college but it seems like a time where you lack the pressure and social obligations of Secondary, and have the opportunity to pursue a passion and flourish and mature in a less pressurized or formal environment and atmosphere.

>What's the point in living if your life serves no purpose?
Doesn't have to have a reason, just enjoy it. The problem is most people have difficulty finding joy in it. Or get hung up on getting a high score of money or success or something else. I never got the "meaning of life" meme, if there is one you'll find out after death, if there isn't so what.

>Especially when you were widely considered (even by my egotistical self) to have a bright future ahead of you.
Haha same. Ever since a child I was told shit like this, despite performing extremely poorly at school I had excelled in specific area's far beyond other kids and teenagers my age.

All things considered I am a successful person. It makes me cringe to think of all the people that would feel obliged to attend my funeral and how much of a fake bullshit tragedy people would make out of it. People I don't give two fucks about and deep down they don't give a fuck about me but just pretend to because thats what society does for some reason.

I'd utterly hate to have a funeral, mass, and burial in a catholic grave yard too. Fuck that just burn me and get it over with. No ceremonies or anything.

Anybody ever trial killing yourself? I tested hanging myself with a laptop cord tied to the door handle.
Just sat there, tightened it and let my legs/body slide down.
Felt alright but didn't go through fully. Was just testing it.
Went to a&e after.

4seasonshotel.ie/
>There is a 4 Seasons Hotel in Monoghan
For what purpose

>lack the pressure and social obligations of Secondary
I felt college had more social pressure. In secondary there was always time. Time to get a gf, time to have sex, time to spend with friends, time to go to parties. Then it ends and you did none of those things while your new college classmates were experts in them and you can't catch up.

Though the difference between primary and secondary was bigger for me. In my primary everyone was still in the "girls are gay" phase up until as far as sixth class. Then I started secondary with a bunch of different people and suddenly everyone's talking about shifting and discos and other shite you have no experience with. Shit sucked.

>Monaghan
FTFY.

I don't know if universities are the same thing as colleges in Ireland, but community college was an extremely depressing experience for me. Seemed like the place were all the fuck ups drift into when they get sick of minimum wage jobs.

There were a few intelligent 16-17 year olds whose parents were savvy enough to send them there instead of the pecking order that is high school, but overall there was this sense of pointlessness about the place that all the lecturers and a few of the students seemed to be aware of. Most of the students that I suspected who realised this left quite early on in the course. In fact one of them was an old steam friend who I met there by sheer coincidence. He just quit half way through to play overwatch all day instead, and I honestly find it hard to argue against his decision.

>Casual.
I had a very innocent childhood to be fair. I wasn't born depressed.

>Just a happy fantasy to alleviate my thoughts.
Aye. Ironically the prospect of suicide is what helped me climb out of NEETdom. I applied for jobs with the mindset of "Well, if I fuck up I can always kill myself".

>I get a sick comfort from people being worried over me
Whereas it sickens me to think that I might be causing a family member to worry about me. So I lie to my family - a lot. Even still though, they are definitely aware to a certain extent. As for my friends, I don't see them enough any more for them to suspect anything right now. I am a lot less guarded around them but I think they just write it off as my long-standing love of black humour.

>I found school so hard I never even got to college but it seems like a time where you lack the pressure and social obligations of Secondary, and have the opportunity to pursue a passion and flourish and mature in a less pressurized or formal environment and atmosphere.
I found secondary school to be piss easy. Sure, my social life was far from perfect there, but it seems to have been better than that of many of the anons in /éire/.

Part of the reason my depression got worse at college was because I realised that I didn't have a passion for anything. I wasn't as interested in my course to the same extent as most other people seemed to be. I even considered switching courses multiple times, but I didn't know what to switch to. So I just finished my degree in a subject I have no particular love for but at least it's something that I can do well.

Listening to this youtube.com/watch?v=a6FyvK4DO6U
Released in the year 2000
Fucking hell I want to go back.

>The problem is most people have difficulty finding joy in it
That's me. And I've certainly tried to find a meaning, a goal, or even something to believe in - anything that would allow me to enjoy the little things that I do achieve that others would be happy about.

>Anybody ever trial killing yourself?
No, that would be way too real and dark for me. I don't think my psyche could handle going that far.

I tried tying a cord around my neck really tight. It cut off the bloodflow and made me pass out for a few minutes. When I woke up I felt numb and scared. I untied the cord and noticed my forehead was bleeding. Woke up the mam and had her check the wound and plaster it up. I told her I tripped on the carpet, which only made her try to get me to get rid of it. I was worried it would scar but thankfully it's almost completely faded away. The weird thing is I've reexamined my fall that night and I have no idea how my body managed to twist itself for my head to hit the desk at that angle and for me to wake up at the other side of the room.
Either way that night scared me out of trying again. I was lucky I didn't get brain damaged or something horrible.

>Then it ends and you did none of those things while your new college classmates were experts in them and you can't catch up.
In fact, you seem to fall further behind. I think that's one of the reasons I lost interest in relationships (there are many reasons). Everybody else is just so far ahead that your inexperience becomes more of a burden with each passing day.

>Then I started secondary with a bunch of different people and suddenly everyone's talking about shifting and discos and other shite you have no experience with. Shit sucked.
I know how you feel. That shit came out of nowhere. One day you're trading cards and running around n the schoolyard, the next everybody is talking about sex, girls, and other bullshit that you are completely ignorant of.

>I tried tying a cord around my neck really tight. It cut off the bloodflow and made me pass out for a few minutes. When I woke up I felt numb and scared. I untied the cord and noticed my forehead was bleeding
Jesus. What age were you?

>I don't know if universities are the same thing as colleges in Ireland
Yeah, we use the terms interchangeably.

Got 1 hour sleep. Woke up and now i'm wide awake. Have to be up for work in

I'm back at work later this week. Absolutely dreading it. Horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach.

How do normies do it?

Lie down in bed for 4 hours and try your best to sleep m8. it's better than brute forcing your way through the night

19. This was less than a year ago.
Though in fairness I did try choking myself with a cord when I was around 11~ish but that was essentially the same as trying to choke yourself. A bit like that scene in the first episode of Welcome to the NHK.

Pedo

playing some gaymes meself and listening to a podcast

>I get a sick comfort from people being worried over me.
The idea people would worry over me makes me feel very bad. I don't want to be a cause for anxiety for my family, especially if they felt they were powerless to help someone they loved. It makes me feel guilty thinking about it.

>What's the point in living if your life serves no purpose? I've tried to find a reason for living, goals to pursue, things to believe in.
The only purpose to live is for yourself and to pursue what makes you happy. I think you have to be brutally honest with yourself rather than try to live up to some unrealistic expectation you hold for yourself or feel obligated to achieve. That will only end in misery.

>If by "get on with your life" you mean just going through the motions for the next few decades in an existence that barely resembles life, sure.
I mean stop being so harshly self-critical. I don't think most other people hold themselves to such a high standard or are so disappointed with their inadequacies. They just acknowledge them and try their best and usually succeed despite them.

I seriously have trouble waking up before ten, even if I get to sleep at 11. I don't know how 'll keep a job

Speaking of 2000
youtube.com/watch?v=dY17nDW-CX0

No that really pisses me off and frustrates me, I was lying there for an hour until getting up here.
>The only purpose to live is for yourself and to pursue what makes you happy. I think you have to be brutally honest with yourself rather than try to live up to some unrealistic expectation you hold for yourself or feel obligated to achieve.
I already do this and still suffer from constant existential dysphoria and discomfort. It's never going away no matter what. Been that was since a kid.
My god that song is so bad. The quality is shit and it's worse than something a child would make. It's just a drum beat with some knacker ranting. He's not even MC'ing properly.

Not a fan of all this trying to commit suicide stuff.

>Lie down in bed for 4 hours and try your best to sleep
I have spent more than 10 hours lying down and trying to sleep before. Sometimes I can spend up to an hour lying perfectly still and still not fall asleep. Sleeping should not be this hard.

Sorry master Yoda, I wanted to succeed.

That's a bit rich coming from you, Juniper. Mr going to kill himself any day now.

>he doesn't remember maniac McCabe

I know sometimes it just doesn't work, but it's for the best. You exert less energy.

I do remember. That's why I'm saying it's so shit.

I guess in the end if all comes down to the simple question of which frightens you more; continued existence indefinitely or the unknown void of death?

>
>The only purpose to live is for yourself and to pursue what makes you happy
But nothing I do makes me properly happy anymore. Even vidya and anime are just escapism at this stage.

>I think you have to be brutally honest with yourself rather than try to live up to some unrealistic expectation you hold for yourself or feel obligated to achieve. That will only end in misery.
I feel like we've had this exact conversation before. I don't think I have any expectations of myself anymore. No dreams, no goals, no ambitions. But I am aware of the expectations others might have of me. Similar to how I wouldn't want people to be distraught over my death, I don't want to disappoint the people I respect in life either (although I am already failing in that regard).

> I don't think most other people hold themselves to such a high standard or are so disappointed with their inadequacies
But I've been consistently lowering my standards over the years. I don't want a gf, riches, children, to own a house, a car, or basically anything that most people seem to strive for in life.

Is that not Jaggy?

No idea.

>nothing I do makes me properly happy anymore
Maybe you should try new things and meet new people?

>don't want a gf, riches
Why not?

I've had a total of 4 hours sleep in the past 48 and I'm so tired, yet I'm unable to sleep.
And of course the moment I have to get up and go to work it will hit my like a train and I'll be so exhausted and it will be a very long day.

If you guys ever pass by Krautchan make sure to stop by for a talk.
Its where i hang out now. My new home

T. Galician celt

Drink yourself to sleep like me. Works wonders

>Maybe you should try new things and meet new people?
Part of me wants to, but when I seriously consider it, the more dominant part of me floods my mind with memories of when doing such things ended badly. I've grown very fond of my comfort zone. I may not be happy in it, but it's something I have control over.

>Why not?
I've never once in my life wanted children, so that nerfed my interest in women from the very start. By the time of my second year in college I had lost interest in women and relationships for a variety of reasons not worth getting into. As for money, I just want enough to be comfortable and secure. Anything more would be welcome, but not something I will ever actively pursue because what's the point in having more than you will ever need?

>300 images saved in the last few hours
>Kamoi
Interesting taste you have there.

SO
FUCKIN'
BEAUTIFUL

>I am aware of the expectations others might have of me.
Lad we've been over this. Your parents only want you to be happy, they don't give a shit about your career or other trivial shit. The only reason they might be disappointed is that you're not happy, which is partially caused by what you believe are their expectations. Take time this next week to spend with them and let them feel close to you. As soon as you're back in your lone apartment they'll be back to worrying over you like all parents.

>I don't want a gf
Or rather you don't want the trouble of an unfamiliar experience, which is understandable.

>riches
Ara now everyone wants money. It's good not to dedicate your life to the pursuit of it but you wouldn't refuse it.

>to own a house
Really? Suppose it would get lonely by yourself and a larger target for break ins but I can't understand not wanting more space.

>a car
Didn't you say you wanted to though?

>Take time this next week to spend with them and let them feel close to you
My family doesn't really do closeness or emotions well. I'm not just looking for excuses - I do have a decent relationship with my parents. But it's not one based on transparency or emotional expression.

>Or rather you don't want the trouble of an unfamiliar experience, which is understandable.
No, I genuinely don't want one. See: . I've been that way for years now.

>but I can't understand not wanting more space.
What would I use it for? My possessions haven't increased significantly since I was a college student.

>Didn't you say you wanted to though?
I do, but I won't be getting one until I need one. And that doesn't appear to be happening any time soon.

Not who you're talking to but.

>Or rather you don't want the trouble of an unfamiliar experience, which is understandable.
This so much. I have no interest in being so emotionally committed to somebody. I'd rather keep to myself and have peace and quiet most of the time. Maybe I'd be okay with one if we only talked 1-2 times a week.
>Ara now everyone wants money. It's good not to dedicate your life to the pursuit of it but you wouldn't refuse it.
I have all the money I want. It makes no difference. I buy tons of shit. I keeps me temporarily happy and distracted but quickly fades.
>owning a house.
I have no interest in owning a house. At most a nice apartment with a balcony view or something.
But the thought of being fully isolated and alone 24/7 terrifies me. It's the final nail in the coffin.

I even hate when I come home from work and my parents aren't there. I have nobody to briefly talk to and tell them about my day.
It's disappointing and lonely.
>>a car
Have a very nice car, again with the money. It only briefly creates happiness. People compliment me on it the whole time too but idk.

>Kamoi
*Kamui

>My family doesn't really do closeness or emotions well. I'm not just looking for excuses - I do have a decent relationship with my parents. But it's not one based on transparency or emotional expression.
Hey mine too. We're very distant, I like briefly talking with them but we never open up emotionally or do activities.
We've never been close even when I was a child.

kancolle.wikia.com/wiki/Kamoi

>Part of me wants to
Sounds like you should do it so.
You could do something like join a gaming group online, which is what I am trying to do at the moment. Requires less commitment that something in real life and you can always just leave whenever you want.
Any social or sports groups at work?

>lost interest in women and relationships
Would you be opposed to having a relationship with someone? Similar to the money thing, is it you wouldn't mind a relationship but you won't go out of your way to pursue it?

>what's the point in having more than you will ever need
True, but you'll always find a way to spend it.
Could carry us to Japan you know? A fair reward I think for having to endure your blog posts.

>But nothing I do makes me properly happy anymore. Even vidya and anime are just escapism at this stage.
Sounds like you're stuck in a rut and need a fresh lease on life. I find those things meant to be enjoyable to be mundane too and only pursue them from an habitual and time-killing perspective. I'm almost resolved to just stop doing them and prioritize pursuing something that actually enthuses me, however self-indulgent.

>I feel like we've had this exact conversation before. I don't think I have any expectations of myself anymore. No dreams, no goals, no ambitions. But I am aware of the expectations others might have of me. Similar to how I wouldn't want people to be distraught over my death, I don't want to disappoint the people I respect in life either (although I am already failing in that regard).
Maybe we have. You seem like you feel much more obligated or fixated to placate the expectations of other people, either real or imagined, rather than focus selfishly, and rightfully so on forming a cohesive ad realistic set of expectations for yourself.

>But I've been consistently lowering my standards over the years. I don't want a gf, riches, children, to own a house, a car, or basically anything that most people seem to strive for in life.
What do you want? I think constantly settling and re-estimating your expectations could just be an excuse for not trying or never attempting to succeed.

Did you watch the hurling today Froggy? Sorry btw, my internet is really bad. Should probably not respond at all.

>My family doesn't really do closeness or emotions well
No Irish family does. I'm not saying bond with them or something crazy but have tea and watch the news together or something.

>No, I genuinely don't want one. See: . I've been that way for years now.
I'll take your word on it then. Suppose I was just projecting my own opinions onto you when I don't even know if I want a gf anymore either.

>What would I use it for?
Again this is a me thing. I like having a lot of space. Maybe sharing a room as a child then being moved to a cramped one gave me a desire for it.

>We've never been close even when I was a child.
But because of the mutual understanding that I care about my parents and they care about me, nobody ever feels the need to communicate or express it. We don't spend a lot of personal time together and private lives are almost never discussed at home (this moreso applies to myself and my siblings).

I got one hell of a culture shock when I was 12 and spent the weekend at a friends house. Everybody was so open about everything and everybody was so expressive and cordial.

>I got one hell of a culture shock when I was 12 and spent the weekend at a friends house. Everybody was so open about everything and everybody was so expressive and cordial.
Yes this so much. My friends in school were so open with their parent's. They'd take the piss and have tons of banter.
I didn't even want to invite friends over to my house because it just seemed like an intrusion.
Whenever we were in the car it was just complete silence too.

>Kamoi
Ya, not sure I'm a big fan. Some of the art is decent but there is a lot of variation.
Because she is so new people are still deciding how to draw her maybe?

Song for the moment viafondo.bandcamp.com/track/jag-vill-nd-vakna

>nobody ever feels the need to communicate or express it. We don't spend a lot of personal time together and private lives are almost never discussed at home
This backs up my theory that old people are just as autistic as us.

>I got one hell of a culture shock when I was 12 and spent the weekend at a friends house. Everybody was so open about everything and everybody was so expressive and cordial.
Same, it was fucking weird everyone was spending time in the same room and communicating in ways other than angry shouting. What really annoyed me was my friend that went on about how much his family didn't get on and yet they got on way better than mine.

>Any social or sports groups at work?
Probably, but I'm definitely not interested in making work an aspect of my social life. I hate that place.

>Would you be opposed to having a relationship with someone?
Yes. I know for a fact that I would actively avoid any woman interested in me.

>Could carry us to Japan you know? A fair reward I think for having to endure your blog posts
Endure indeed. I dunno why I do this you ye.

>I'm almost resolved to just stop doing them and prioritize pursuing something that actually enthuses me, however self-indulgent.
I've considered giving up gaming multiple times (if only temporarily), but I can't bring myself to do it.

>You seem like you feel much more obligated or fixated to placate the expectations of other people, either real or imagined, rather than focus selfishly, and rightfully so on forming a cohesive ad realistic set of expectations for yourself.
I've always been like that. Even at school I never even thought about why I should perform well academically, just that it was expected of me.

>What do you want?
I don't really know. I've basically achieved my only remaining goal of having enough money to be comfortable. Now I really am stuck in a rut.

>Did you watch the hurling today Froggy?
No, I missed it unfortunately because we had relatives over in the afternoon and I had to make an appearance.

never mined, I've just called it as alternative name.

>I even hate when I come home from work and my parents aren't there. I have nobody to briefly talk to and tell them about my day.
>It's disappointing and lonely.
That tiny exposure to other people interested in affirming your life really is a vital component of the human condition.
It's no wonder so many people here, lacking regular real-life social opportunities to discuss their recent experiences no matter how mundane are so depressed.

Froggy is a tough child to manage, isn't he lads?
Where did we go wrong?

>No Irish family does
I've seen evidence to the contrary.

>I like having a lot of space. Maybe sharing a room as a child then being moved to a cramped one gave me a desire for it.
Having a lot of space and nothing to do with it would just be sad to me.

>I didn't even want to invite friends over to my house because it just seemed like an intrusion.
Christ, I know that feel.

>Whenever we were in the car it was just complete silence too.
My mother used to always try and get a conversation going, but she usually just ended up talking to my father.

>Because she is so new people are still deciding how to draw her maybe?
That does tend to happen alright. The image you posted earlier was the first piece of fan art that I'd seen of her since she was added to the game.

I am incredibly frustrated and agitated right now. If I didn't have work in the morning I'd just go out and drive aimlessly for a couple of hours. Go to the beach or something.
Next time I go to the psychiatrist I think I'm going to ask for ECT....it's the only thing left that might work.
I understand this emotionally 100%, but mentally I'm unable to express it or process it. That doesn't make sense at all but I feel very in touch with these things I just can't translate it into words.
You're really good at doing it.

Would it be bad to call in sick to work the first day back after 2 weeks holidays? Simply because of insomnia.

I can go weeks without having a proper conversation with another person. It actually worries me that I'm capable of doing that with such ease. I wouldn't mind, but I have retained passable social skills despite everything, so I feel like they are going to waste.

>Where did we go wrong?
You're all shit parents.

Have you been in this thread all along? I didn't recognise any of your posts.

>But because of the mutual understanding that I care about my parents and they care about me, nobody ever feels the need to communicate or express it.
I find that because of that mutual understanding, and even genuine concern they seem to display for me, being comfortable to express it is beyond me. The strained gestures they make only engender discomfort and a disappointed resigned longing at my inability to express it to them or even engage with those strained or even genuine attempts, even half-heartedly, so I just blank them.

>I've seen evidence to the contrary.
Yep I actually contradicted myself by posting >Yes. I know for a fact that I would actively avoid any woman interested in me.
Is there a reason other than fear of fucking up/not knowing how these things work/doing something stupid?

I get that feeling too. The urge to go outside in the middle of the night and wander around. Can't do it much anymore without someone noticing me leave the house.

>can go weeks without having a proper conversation with another person
Posting on here is kind of a conversation though.

>you been in this thread all along
Me?

was meant for Should be fine, typically.

>You're all shit parents.
I imagine myself as hating my children. Don't know why. Maybe it's because I relate to Gendo.

>Have you been in this thread all along? I didn't recognise any of your posts.
Fairly sure Poi and I are the only other Kancolle posters.

>I find that because of that mutual understanding, and even genuine concern they seem to display for me, being comfortable to express it is beyond me. The strained gestures they make only engender discomfort and a disappointed resigned longing at my inability to express it to them or even engage with those strained or even genuine attempts, even half-heartedly, so I just blank them.
My relationship with my parents in a nutshell.

>Is there a reason other than fear of fucking up/not knowing how these things work/doing something stupid?
More reasons than I could concisely summarise here. Everything from my fear of commitment to the inferiority of 3D women compared to the glory of 2D.

>Posting on here is kind of a conversation though.
Let's be honest; it's not really. There's so much more to a real conversation than the verbal message that is being conveyed.

>Me?
Aye.

>Fairly sure Poi and I are the only other Kancolle posters.
Yeah, I think I might have been mistaking some of his posts for yours.

Haven't been posting much, too much blogging, but the Kamoi and Hatsuziki posts are mine.

>too much blogging
It's a while since we had a proper /realautismhours/ to be fair (unless you count the /bant/ threads).

You seem to post a lot of happy looking Prinz images. Are you a naturally happy person?

Are /realautismhours/ supposed to be about suicide and depression or just in-depth discussion in general?

The farthest I'll stray from Prinz is group pictures of maybe a Graf. I liked the IDs on /bant/éire/ so I can post whatever and not get confused for someone else.