I have a son, Sup Forums. met a really nice girl and I have not told her about him yet. His mom and I are no longer a thing but we keep a friendship as we have to raise our son. How should I approach this new girl and ease the fact that i have a son, so she doesn't get scared away. I am 25 yrs old. she is 21 (new girl).
need some tips Sup Forumsros
bump
What would you do OP?
Always be prepared for them to run. Children that arent your own is a deal breaker for 50-70% of the population and no matter how easy you bring it up, they will disappear shortly after telling them even if they play it off as no big deal
I want to tell her straight up but I am afraid she'll just stop talking to me. I don't know how else to say it.. I need ideas. what do you think?
OP here. I think thats kinda messed up because how am I supposed to live my life again and talk to women I think are worth my while..
she's a really cute latina. she's told me she loves kids and she does not want one for a long time. obviously im not down to marry her or have kids with her... i mean who knows what the future holds. Do they all say this?
OP here. What would you guys do in my situation?
heres a pic of her. shes so cute and she has a cute cat also
bump!
need some opinions guys, pls.
been on Sup Forums forever
What you consider "worth your while" will greatly effect the outcome as well. Most "good girls" with values, morals, and a life plan in place are not going to be ok with it. You are divorced (or you had a child out of wedlock) which is a major problem for any religious girl who expects a wedding in a church. There is also a big warning sign that you either screwed up the first relationship, or you have really poor judgement to be in a relationship with someone who wasnt going to be there long term.
And that is all before we even actually talk about the fact they some day will be asked to play step mom to a child they have rarely seen previously. Annnnd to round things out, there is the financial stability issue around the fact you are paying child support which means less money to be spent on the relationship.
Tell her straight out. Its a lot better for her to stop talking to you after a few weeks, than to waste your time for a year+ and THEN have her stop talking to you.
The bottom line is its just not going to be ok for a large chunk of the population
~i don't pay child support as we don't want court involved. I help with funds whenever she needs to (for my son)
~his mom and I dated for 3 years, she got pregnant but we didn't want to get married. we couldn't get along so we split. now were ok co-parenting
>and she does not want one for a long time.
That is pretty much code for "if you have a kid dont bother talking to me" If she doesnt want her own kid "for a long time" what makes you think she wants anything to do with a kid that isnt hers?
we've been talking 3 weeks. seen her once and she is such a sweet person. i plan on seeing her thursday so i will tell her over lunch..
>now were ok co-parenting
Thats going to be another giant ass hurdle then as you are still friendly with the childs mother. Not many girls will be ok with an even casual relationship between you and your ex.
OP here. meaning she doesn't want to give birth to a child for a while.. I think shes kinda reserved as we haven't fucked yet.
I wouldn't consider her my friend. shes my sons mom so we are cordial only regarding my son.
has anyone ever been in this spot???
>meaning she doesn't want to give birth to a child for a while
And what in your screwed up head makes you think her not wanting to give birth means she is ok with having a kid that isnt hers? Women who dont want kids until later in life arent going to suddenly be like "well since it didnt come out of my pussy its totally fine to play mommy"
Which brings up another big point. There is a large difference between "I have a kid I get to see every few weeks for 2 days at a time. You probably will never meet them or my ex."
and
I have a kid that is with me constantly and very shortly after we get serious, you will be expected to play mommy every time you come over to my house
Ive met a few chicks that told me they had kids on the 1-3rd date. I however blocked them all from my phone and never talked to them again after that night.
Single women with a kid arent relationship material. They are a one night stand after I got too drunk
OP here. thanks for the feedback I appreciate you user.
~I see my son every other day for a few hours. 1 day on the weekend. he lives with his mom and mom lives at her parents house. once he gets older and his primary food source isn't boob juice i'll get to have him a bit more, but only on weekends seeing as a work during the day full time.
> have a kid that is with me constantly and very shortly after we get serious, you will be expected to play mommy every time you come over to my house
~this would not happen for a while~
>I wouldn't consider her my friend. shes my sons mom so we are cordial only regarding my son.
I remember when I was a kid and it was my dads weekend he had to come with the sheriffs because my mom and dad couldnt be near each other without things being thrown or a screaming match erupting so my thinking might be colored a bit. I however would never be ok with my girlfriend answering her phone for her ex in any way, shape or form. Especially when it starts with "hey, how are you"
Just tell her and be, or at least act, like the best damn father in the world. That's a turn on
casually mention it several months into the relationship. Act surprised that she didn't already know
OP here, thanks for your feedback.
I don't text his mom casually except for when she asks when I am coming over to visit my son.
>I see my son every other day for a few hours. 1 day on the weekend.
Yea, that isnt normal, even for divorced couples. That actually borders on an extreme amount of together time. You are going to need to find a 1 in a million girl to even be remotely ok with that. That means you are seeing and having a conversation with your ex 3+ times a week? Any guy or girl would need to be nearly a saint to deal with that
OP here. THIS. I plan on doing that and even showing her a picture of him. She loves kids and is such a good woman. I am afraid to do so, but I have to do it.
i agree with this user.
OP here. I forgot to mention this. She lives 1 hour away so I only see cute latina once a week. IDK if its worth it but I feel really important when i am with her. I feel loved without her saying I love you
You shouldn't have had a child so early you fucking irresponsible piece of shit.
condom broke because i tore that pussy up. took day after pill (even watched her take it), didn't work.. and no my kid is not retarded. he's just a bastard
Wait you don't live in the city?
The only way these kinds of relationships ever work out is if the guy never sees the kid, never talks to its mom, and is basically a check once a month and a birthday card once a year. Ive never met a woman who happily played mom to another womans child.
Its way easier for women to find men as men are generally desperate and will settle for almost anything.
Also depending on how old your kid is you need to think about them too. My dad was always dating different women when I was young and it was pretty devastating for me to get emotionally connected to one and then suddenly have them be gone from my life months later when things wouldn't work out or whatever.
he is almost 1.
Then at least you have a few years before worrying about that, but keep it in mind for the future.
I hate to say it, but this.
I have a 6 year old son. Ive never told any of my gfs about him. I also however never see him and havent talked to her in 5 years. Im positive if I told my current gf about him she would leave me without a second thought
OP here. thanks for sharing that bro.
I am truly sorry to hear that... godspeed
This
>I am truly sorry to hear that... godspeed
Its all good. I never wanted a kid and her parents always hated me. It was a one night mistake in a van. The kid is far better off thinking I died when he was a baby (its what she told him when he asked why he didnt have a dad)
Would you be okay with her texting her ex? Going to their house?
Be alone forever. Easier that way, and your kid doesnt have to watch random women walk all over you growing up like I did with my dad. I have zero desire to reproduce now and don't ever even try to go out and meet women since I know ill probably just be wasting time getting my heart ripped out by a total cunt.
How u fuk?
OP here. Thanks for your suggestion, but I will not be alone forever. I can get girls rather easily, sorry if that comes off as being cocky but its the truth.
OP here, thanks for your feedback.
I don't think thats a reality for me. There are lots of women out there, I and i refuse to just sit around and not want a bride of my own 1 day
I jerk off 3 times a day everyday. Pathetic, but I don't have to appease some sloot. The pros equal the negatives in my opinion, and I'd just rather not waste my time.
The kind of women who will date a man with a kid are not exactly the creme of the crop to begin with. Your experiances arent reality for the rest of us
OP here. So can we come to a consensus? I know you guys have many videos to fap to and so do i.
tl;dr: how do I approach cutie latina regarding this?