Has there ever been a more pathetic Presidential campaign?

Has there ever been a more pathetic Presidential campaign?

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=FI4HagtgTPQ&ab_channel=AnonymousOfficial
youtube.com/watch?v=WcJnSmwcMoE
twitter.com/SFWRedditImages

Trump's.

You shut your whore mouth.

INCREASINGLY

You could always run.

Yeah, anonymous's campaign

youtube.com/watch?v=FI4HagtgTPQ&ab_channel=AnonymousOfficial

read their constitution if you want to laugh

Rude tbqh.

Romney was pretty pathetic

He's like preppy Hank Hill

>bernie

BURRRRRN

Fuck off Hilary.

bernie sanders and that bird was the height of autism

I miss the big guy, he was pretty cute desu

Yes

honestly not in modern history

Jeb was fine, it was just that Trump was an absolute dick to him and the people got caught up in the meme that is Donald J Trump

WELP, CONSIDERING THE AMOUNT OF HIGH DOLLAR CONTRIBUTERS BACKING HIM, I WOULD SAY HE WAS WORST OF ALL TIME. YEAH, PROBABLY.
> a fucking guac bowl? Really?

>Jeb was fine

Drumpf
He refused to debate Bernie.

Yeah. He is such a faggot.

He was. Your perception is skewed because you were sucked in by the Trump meme.

Dear Fellas. I can't believe how fast the polls move on fox news. I saw hoodie once when I was a kid, but now they're everywhere. The world went and got itself in a big damn hurry. My campaign office got me into this halfway show called the CNN republican debates, and a job selling Guacamole bowls on the internet for 75 fucking dollars. It's hard work. I try to keep up, but my ratings hurt most of the time. I don't think anyone likes me very much. Sometimes after speeches I go to the park and feed the birds, I get a larger crowd than at my rallies. I keep thinking someone might just show up and come to my rally. But noone ever does. I hope wherever my supporter is, he's doing okay and making guacamole.

I have trouble sleeping at night. I have bad dreams, like I'm falling below 3%. I wake up scared. Sometimes it takes me a while to remember whether I am on the polls. Maybe I should get me a gun and pull a Budd Dwyer, so they'd send me home. I could shoot Donald Trump while I was at it, sort of like a bonus. I guess I'm too old for that sort of nonsense anymore. I don't like it here. I'm tired of being afraid all the time. I've decided not to stay. I doubt they'll kick up any fuss. Not for an old cuck like me."

-Jeb!

Still not as bad as
150MILLION DOLLARS
All for 4 delegates

You can see his soul being eaten away slowly. You can see it in his blank, glossed over stare; longing for victory, only to fall so far away from any chance of sweet glory. Donald J. Trump stands tall, proud, gleaming with a holy aura. Jeb see's that he has lost, Jeb see's that his time has passed. He sits and reflects on his actions, the guaca-bowle rests on the nearby tv stand. The empty glow of the television flood the room, glaring Jeb in the face. He see's His face, the slogan that brought him to this climax; Make America Great Again. Jeb decided it was his turn to do his part. It was his turn to Make America Great Again. He reached under his bed, grabbing the revolver his brother had given him years before at his ranch in Texas. He loaded one bullet and cocked the hammer back, staring into the eyes of his downfall. Closing his eyes, he hears Donald Trumps voice one last time.

"Jeb, talk about a low energy guy."

旅に病んで
夢は枯れ野を
かけめぐる

Falling ill on a journey
my dreams go wandering
over withered fields

-Japanese Death Poem by Matsuo Basho

No, he was an awkward doofus and was the embodiment of what is wrong with American politics. He was "Chosen" even before the race had truly started, but he was SUCH a bad candidate that not even the full force of the Republican establishment could salvage the dorky limp wristed campaign he ran.

I don't expect you to understand anything relating to American politics and the hatred for the political system in America that Americans feel, just like you likely don't expect me to understand why you fuck kangaroos, just shut up Australia, Jeb is a fucking retard.

You kinda have to feel bad for Jeb. His whole life is a big tragedy. Therefore, it would be perfect for a Shakespearean play.

Jeb is a young prince from a noble line. His father, George I was king after being the most trusted adviser to King Ronald the Great. His brother, George the Arab Slayer also sat upon the throne. Jeb himself ruled one of the great kingdoms of the South. He seemed to many to be next in line for the throne, but economic strife and a lineage technicality allowed for a member of the rival family, House Obongo to take power. The Obongos were supposed to save the nation and united the nation's people. Rather, the nation fell into further turmoil as economic strife worsened, wars in foreign lands stretched the nation's soldiers thin, foreigners invade the kingdom, peasants challenge the nobility, and degeneracy reigns supreme. King Obongo appears to not be long for the world. He has no heirs. His preferred successors include a frail, senile old hermit from a Semitic house and a disgruntled wench who has an adulterous husband. The people will never stand for either as their leader and Prince Jeb knows this. It seems to be all but certain that he will reclaim his families throne and he and his beautiful wife will reign as King and Queen. The people want Prince Jeb. Then something happens. A wealthy low-born knight, Sir Donald begins to speak to the people. He speaks of mending the kingdom's economy, and saving it from foreign invaders. He speaks of bringing the once proud Kingdom back to its former glory. Prince Jeb will not allow an upstart low-born challenge his birthright! He attempts to write Sir Donald off as a charlatan. His attacks only make Sir Donald's support grow. Sir Donald is not a noble. He is not bound to the same code of honor. He can do as he pleases and this appeals greatly to the people. Soon, the Prince begins to see his political allies fall as well. Lord Boner is ousted in the House of Lords.
1/2

2/2
The Kingdom is infatuated with Sir Donald and his two companions, a dark skinned medicine man and a fiery parliamentarian. Slowly the prince begins to realize how pathetic his life really is. The low-born knight is married to a beautiful foreign princess while Jeb's beautiful wife actually turns out to be a hairy woodland troll. Sir Donald has built massive castles and controlled vast amounts of land while Prince Jeb's mighty kingdom turns out to be just foul swamp. He isn't the great leader he once thought himself to be. He is a weak man. In the end, Prince Jeb watches the coronation of King Donald the Mighty, Remover of Spaniards, Builder of Walls, Slayer of Arabs, Maker of Deals. He goes back to his dinky castle with his troll wife. He pulls out a dagger, thrusts it into his belly and twists.

not in my lifetime, no

fuck off jeb is part of the memes senpai he isnt pathetic just a meme famalam baka desu senpai senpai senpai

Jeb is a mess

just think about the fact that 200 million dollars was spent on Jeb's campaign/pro-jeb super PACs

TWO HUNDRED MILLION ($200,000,000) FUCKING DOLLARS

YOU COULD HAVE BUILT A FUCKING SKYSCRAPER FOR THAT KIND OF MONEY

JESUS CHRIST

Fuck I could go for some Arby's.

>pathetic
You misspelled patriotic.

Don't be mean!!!!!!!!!! - koala

>YOU COULD HAVE BUILT A FUCKING SKYSCRAPER FOR THAT KIND OF MONEY

But you couldn't build a third President Bush

XDD

current year

>and with his last, dying breath whispers...please clap.

What a waste.
And i bet 75% of it ended up in Jeb!'s pockets too.

I miss Jeb. no bully pls

Where did all that money go?

Dukakis? He got BTFO by Bush Sr. Bush carried 40 states

youtube.com/watch?v=WcJnSmwcMoE

Damn, I was wondering if I should add that to the end before I even posted it.

>Future versions will have that Edition

THERES A HUGE WAREHOUSE FULL OF GUAC BOWLS SOMEWHERE...

someone has to write an alternate reality book about what living under Pres JEB! would be like

FORT GUAX

This guy spent like 150 million dollars and by the end was polling just 3% in the fucking polls nationally.

3 FUCKING PERCENT!
> 3 FUCKING PERCENT!
3 FUCKING PERCENT!
> 3 FUCKING PERCENT!

...

prolly not. Just think; this man would be our nominee if it weren't for Mr. Trump

"the weakest man on this stage is by far Jeb Bush"

It would probably be a lot like pic related only with more guacamole

i suppose that doesnt sound so bad

>US develops a trade deficit with mexico due to Jeb!s policy of massive Avacado imports
>Defaming somebodies wife now considered "fighting words" and now against the law to utter and banned from the GOP
>"Mexican" Extremists attack the United States, the United States attacks Mexico and seizes their produce.
>Canada is accused of having nuclear weapons and invaded, this was later revealed to have been an intellegence failure
>Jeb! hits a 90% approval rating
>Gets elected again after an unaffilated group smears his opponent
>America defaults, economy collapses
>Jeb! flees angry mobs after approval rating hits 0%
>Tries to hide out in a home in argentina
>Days later a man shoots him while he's in the public, and he bleeds out all over his front, his blood squirting all over his clothes
>In his final moments he hears the words softly "jeb is a mess...."