I want to be shocked, hit me!

I want to be shocked, hit me!

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youtube.com/watch?v=OnOWE47ew4I
twitter.com/SFWRedditVideos

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AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
FUCKING FPBP AND /THREAD MIEN NIGGER

IN ORDER TO FALL ASLEEP I HAVE TO PRETEND IM SLEEPING

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A PIZZA IS A CIRCLE THAT COMES IN A SQUARE BOX THAT WE EAT IN A TRIANGLE

WHEN YOU SPELL OUT NUMBERS (ONE, TWO, THREE) YOU WONT HIT AN "A: UNTILL ONE THOUSAND

the probability that any numer starts with 1 isn't 1/9, it is much higher actually (near 37%)

That's how we catch financial fraud

if you drop an object, and you launch an object horizontally, no matter how much they weight, no matter how fast you launched it, they'll hit the ground at the same time

when you see the stars in the sky, they are how they were in the past. Some of them don't even exists right now, but you are esentially time travelling

THE NUMBER 4 IS THE ONLY NUMBER TO HAVE THE SAME AMOUNT OF LETTERS AS ITS VALUE

teleportation exists and it's been done since 2005, but has no use beyond cuantic properties (like entaglement)

Hell yeah!

provided enought time, survival rate of any living being is 0%

Nice Red Skull cosplay

*BILL NYE GLARES AT YOU WITH A LOOK OF RAGE AND HATRED IN HIS EYES. CHARGING TOWARDS YOU, HE TEARS OFF HIS LABCOAT, EXPOSING HIS ENGORGED EIGHT INCH, VEGAN COCK. SOON, HE'S UPON YOU, AND HE GRABS YOU BY THE SHOULDERS, FORCING YOUR BACK AGAINST THE WALL. YOU SLAM AGAINST IT HARD, THE AIR EJECTING FROM YOUR LUNGS, STUNNED AT THE STRENGTH OF A MAN THAT SEEMS TO BE SO AGED AND SCRAWNY, AS HE TEARS AWAY YOUR CLOTHING LIKE SOME RAVENING BEAST. HE LINES THE DRIPPING HEAD OF HIS COCK UP WITH YOUR ASSHOLE, AND PLUNGES INTO YOU WITH ONE VIOLENT, BESTIAL THRUST, SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF HIS LUNGS....* GLOBAL WARMING!

*DISEMBODIED VOICES CHANT HIS FIRST NAME, AS HE KEEPS YOU PINNED BETWEEN HIS BODY AND THE WALL, AS HIS TURGID MEMBER DRAWS BACK, THEN PLUNGES INTO YOUR BLEEDING ASS WITH UTTER DISREGARD FOR YOUR OWN DESIRES, WITHOUT ANY DEGREE OF COMPASSION, AS HIS WIDE, CRAZED EYES STARE INTO YOURS. HIS HIPS DRIVE INTO YOU IN TIME WITH THE DISEMBODIED CHANTING, HIS THICK SHAFT SLAMMING INTO YOU THE HARDEST WHENEVER ONE OF THE DISEMBODIED VOICES SPEAKS OUT HIS FULL NAME AND TITLE. STILL, HE SCREAMS AT THE TOP OF HIS LUNGS IN BETWEEN EACH THRUST..* YOU'RE TIRED OF ME SAYING IT, WELL I'M TIRED OF SAYING IT! IT'S UP TO ALL OF US TO REDUCE OUR CARBON FOOTPRINT! WE CAN BE FOSSIL FUEL FREE IN OUR LIFETIME! SOLAR PANELS RULE!

*HE POUNDS YOU WITH INCREASING VIGOR AND VIOLENCE, HIS THICK SHAFT SAWING INTO YOU AGAIN AND AGAIN, HIS FACE INCHES FROM YOURS AS HE CONTINUES TO SCREAM AT THE TOP OF HIS LUNGS, SPITTLE ISSUING FORTH FROM HIS MOUTH WITH EVERY WORD, SPLATTERING ACROSS YOUR FACE. ONE OF HIS HANDS MOVES TO WRAP AROUND YOUR THROAT, SQUEEZING IT TIGHTLY. AS YOUR AIRWAYS ARE SQUEEZED, YOUR LUNGS BURN AND ACHE FOR OXYGEN, FEAR GRIPPING YOUR HEART AS THE EDGES OF YOUR VISION BEGIN TO DARKEN.* IMAGINE IF WE DON'T SOLVE THIS PROBLEM TOGETHER, WHY THE EARTH WOULD BECOME SO HOT, EVEN GOING OUTSIDE WOULD BE ENOUGH TO TAKE YOUR BREATH AWAY, AS THE HEAT SAPS THE MOISTURE FROM YOUR LUNGS! IT WOULD BE LIKE TRYING TO BREATH THE AIR IN THE SAHARA! BUT THERE'S A WAY TO SOLVE THIS PROBLEM, AND PREVENT THIS FUTURE FROM EVER OCCURRING!

*HIS HIPS ROCKING FASTER NOW, HIS FACE MOVING INCHES FROM YOURS AS HE CONTINUES TO SHOUT WITH ALL OF THE FORCE IN HIS BODY, HIS MOUTH FROTHING AS FLECKS OF BLOOD BEGIN TO FLOAT IN HIS SPITTLE FROM THE FORCE OF HIS SCREAMING, HIS VOICE CRACKING AND STRAINED AS IT TEARS AT HIS THROAT. HIS HAND FINALLY LEAVES YOUR THROAT, ALLOWING YOU BREATH ONCE MORE, THOUGH BOTH HANDS MOVE TO YOUR LEGS, LIFTING THEM UP PAINFULLY TOWARDS YOUR CHEST, FORCING YOU TO REST ALL OF YOUR WEIGHT ON THEM, AS HE DRIVES HIS COCK EVEN DEEPER INSIDE OF YOU, THE HEAD SLAMMING AGAINST YOUR PROSTATE WITH EACH THRUST.* WE DON'T NEED TO RELY ON FOSSIL FUELS ANYMORE! SOLAR PANELS AND WIND POWER CAN BE VIABLE IN OUR LIFETIME! WE CAN'T AFFORD TO STICK OUR HEADS IN THE GROUND AND IGNORE THIS PROBLEM ANY LONGER! WE OWE IT TO OUR CHILDREN TO SOLVE THIS PROBLEM IN OUR LIFETIME! GLOBAL WARMING IS NOT A MYTH!

Stick a fork into a light socket u wont be dissapointed.
However expecting anything really shocking in this shithole now a days u will be.

we can detect the vibration of a very tiny part of an atom some hundred light years away with absolute precission

*HE SUDDENLY DROPS YOU STRAIGHT ON THE FLOOR, JUST AS ONE OF THE DISEMBODIED VOICES SCREAMS ABOUT HOW COOL SCIENCE IS. HIS COCK FLOPPING OUT OF YOU AND SLAPPING YOUR FACE ON THE WAY DOWN, BEFORE ACIDIC SEMEN BEGINS TO RAIN DOWN ONTO YOUR FLESH, YOUR SKIN BUBBLING AWAY AT EVERY DROPLET.* I PROMISE THAT I WILL STOP TALKING ABOUT IT WHEN WE START TAKING IT SERIOUSLY! WE DON'T WANT OUR CHILDREN TO BATHE IN ACID RAIN! IT'S UP TO ALL OF US TO SOLVE THIS PROBLEM! WE CAN'T DO IT ALONE! HERE'S FORMER PRESIDENT BILL CLINTON!

that's how we detected "waves of gravity", similar to the ocean, but instead, in the fabric of relity itself

*mR. rOgErS pUsHeS oPeN tHe DoOr To HiS hOuSe, SiTtInG dOwN aNd ChAnGiNg HiS sHoEs. He UnLaCeS tHeM sLoWlY, tHeN pUlLs ThEm OfF, oNlY tO pUlL oN a SeCoNd PaIr Of ShOeS aNd TiGhTlY lAcEs ThEm. He LoOkS uP aT yOu, EyEs BlOoDsHoT aNd WiDe.* oH hElLo NeIgHbOr! I dIdN'T sEe YoU tHeRe! *mR. rOgErS lUnGeS tO hIs FeEt, LiKe A cHeEtAh On ThE pRoWl, GrAbBiNg YoU bY tHe NeCk AnD sLaMmInG yOu AgAiNsT tHe FrAgIlE pArTiClE bOaRd AnD sTuCcO wAlL, tEaRiNg HiS cArRdIgAn OfF, eXpOsInG mUsClEs ChIsElEd By YeArS oF nAvY sEaL tRaInInG, cOvErEd In RoLlInG fIeLdS oF cHeSt HaIr.* dO yOu LiKe To PlAy MaKe BeLiEvE nEiGhBoR? sOmEtImEs WhEn LiFe GeTs ScArY, i LiKe To PlAy MaKe BeLiEvE tO tAkE mY mInD oFf It! *mR. rOgErS tEaRs YoUr ShIrT oFf, HiS fAcE mErE iNcHeS fRoM yOuRs, As HiS fEtId BrEaTh WaShEs OvEr YoUr FaCe, HoT aNd ThIcK, tHe ScEnT oF dEnTuRe PaStE hEaVy On It. HiS yElLoWeD, sLiMy ToNgUe ExTeNdS fRoM hIs MoUtH, dRaGgInG aCrOsS yOuR cHeEk. HiS cHeSt HaIr GrInDs AgAiNsT yOuR cHeSt, ChAfInG yOuR tEnDeR sKiN, lIkE fInE gRiT sAnDpApEr As It ScRaPeS aGaInSt YoU.*

*mR. rOgErS gYrAtEs HiS hIpS, hIs ViAgRa-LaDeN cOcK tHrObBiNg AgAiNsT yOu, As He GrAbS yOuR wRiStS iN oNe HaNd AnD pInS tHeM aBoVe YoUr HeAd. WiDe, CrAzEd EyEs, SlIgHtLy JaUnDiCeD aRoUnD tHe EdGeS, sTaRe InTo YoUrS.* WhY nEiGhBoR, yOu HaVeN'T cHaNgEd YoUr ShOeS! tHiS jUsT wOn't Do! *mR. rOgErS bEgInS tO fOrCeFuLlY sTrIp YoU, aNcIeNt, WiThErEd HaNdS tEaRiNg At YoUr ClOtHiNg LiKe ClAwS. sTrEnGtH fRoM yEaRs Of SeRvIcE aS a NaVy SeAl WiTh FiFtY cOnFiRmEd KiLlS sErViNg Mr. RoGeRs WeLl, EvEn In OlD aGe. He SiNgS, aS hE rEnDs YoUr ClOtHiNg FrOm YoUr BoDy...* iT'S a BeAuTiFuL dAy In ThE nEiGhBoRhOoD, a BeAuTiFuL dAy To GaNgRaPe A nEiGhBoR, wOn't YoU bE mInE? oH cOuLd YoU bE mInE?

mR. rOgErS lAuGhS dElIgHtFuLlY aS hE tHrOwS yOu FaCe-FiRsT oVeR tHe BaCkReSt Of HiS cOuCh, ThE pAiSlEy FaBrIc RoUgH aNd UnCoMfOrTaBlE aS tHe AiR iS kNoCkEd OuT oF yOuR lUnGs By ThE fOrCe Of YoUr StOmAcH sLaMmInG aGaInSt ThE bAcK oF tHe SoFa. YoUr FaCe JaMmEd DoWn AgAiNsT tHe CuShIoNs, YoUr LoWeR hAlF uTtErLy ExPoSeD tO tHe AnCiEnT mAn, PrOjEcTiNg InTo ThE aIr FrOm YoUr CuRrEnT pOsItIoN. tHeN yOu FeEl It, FrEd RoGeRs BoDy HeAt WaShInG aGaInSt YoU fRoM bEhInD, hIs ClAw-LiKe HaNdS, gRiPpInG yOuR hIpS fIrMlY, bEfOrE hIs BuLbOuS, uNcIrCuMcIsEd CoCkHeAd FoRcEs ItSeLf InTo YoUr AsShOlE. tHeRe's A mOmEnT oF bRiEf ReSiStAnCe, As YoUr PuCkErEd AnAl RiNg AtTeMpTs To DeNy ThE iNtRuDeR, bUt WiTh A nAvY sEaL bAtTlE cRy, Mr. RoGeR'S lItTlE rOgEr ImPaLeS iTsElF dEeP iNtO yOuR lOwEr InTeStInEs.* sHaLl We TaKe A tRiP tO tHe KiNgDoM oF mAkE bElIeVe, NeIgHbOr? I wOnDeR wHaT oUr FrIeNdS aRe Up To ToDaY!

*tHe FrOnT dOoR eXpLoDeS iNwArD, aS a MaIlMaN iN sHoRtS mUcH tOo SmAlL fOr HiM sTePs In. ThE mAn's UpPeR lIp Is AdOrNeD wItH a GrAyInG mUsTaChE, aNd HiS yElLoWiNg AnD wOrN tEeTh ArE eXpOsEd In A rIcTuS sMiLe. Mr. RoGeRs LoOkS uP, bUrIeD dEePlY iNsIdE oF yOu. He ExClAiMs LoUdLy* tHeRe's SoMeBoDy At ThE dOoR! iT'S mR. mCfEeLy! *mR. mCfEeLy StOmPs In, ScReAmInG aT tHe ToP oF hIs LuNgS* SpEeDy DeLiVeRy! *mR. rOgErS rEsUmEs HiS tHrUsTiNg* bUt Mr. McFeElY, i DiDn't OrDeR aNyThInG! *Mr. McFeElY aPpRoAcHeS tHe FrOnT oF tHe SoFa, GrAbBiNg YoUr HaIr In HiS mEaTy FiNgErS, yAnKiNg YoUr HeAd Up As He TuGs HiS sWeAtY, sAuSaGe-LiKe PrIcK fRoM hIs TiGhT sHoRtS. hIs StOmAcH bUlGeS oVeR tHe WaIsTbAnD oF hIs ShOrTs AnD fRoM uNdErNeAtH hIs TiGhT, sHoRt-SlEeVe PoStMaNs ShIrT, aS hE fOrCeS tHe SmEgMa-CoAtEd HeAd InTo YoUr MoUtH. bEhInD yOu, YoU hEaR mR. rOgErS eXcLaIm..* i LoVe EvErYtHiNg YoU bRiNg Us, Mr. McFeElY!

*aS mR. rOgErS aNd ThE pReViOuSlY-cOnViCtEd SeRiAl RaPiSt Mr. McFeElY cOnTiNuE tO pOuNd YoU wItH iNcReAsInG rAgE aNd FoRcE, yOuR jAw AcHiNg AnD yOuR tHrOaT sOrE fRoM cHoKiNg On Mr. McFeElY'S bAcTeRiA-lAdEn PrIcK, yOuR aSsHoLe BlEeDiNg CoPiOuSlY fRoM mR. rOgErS vIoLeNt ImPaLeMeNt, YoU hEaR tHe VoIcE bEhInD yOu..* mR. mCfEeLy, Do YoU tHiNk We CoUlD pLaY tOgEtHeR? i KnOw, CaN yOu SiNg ThE sPeEdY dElIvErY sOnG fOr Us? I tHiNk OuR sPeCiAl NeIgHbOr WoUlD eNjOy ThAt! *mR. mCfEeLy PuLlS yOuR hAiR hArDeR, cLuMpS tEaRiNg FrEe FrOm YoUr ScAlP, a ThIn RiVuLeT oF bLoOd LeAkInG dOwN aCrOsS yOuR tEmPlE. hE eXcLaImS lOuDlY, aS hE tHrOwS bAcK hIs HeAd AnD sTaRtS tO sInG..* I sUrE cAn, If ThErE'S aNyThInG yOu WaNt, If ThErE aNyThInG yOu NeEd, Mr. McFeElY wIlL pOuNd YoUr ThRoAt WiTh SpEeD! bEcAuSe SpEeDy DeLiVeRiEs, ArE sPeEdY dElIvErIeS, sPeEdY dElIvErIeS, tO yOu! *hE sLoWlY bEgInS tO mUtTeR sPeEdY dElIvErY uNdEr HiS tHrOaT aS hE jAmS hIs CoCk DeEp InTo YoUr ThRoAt, HiS eNgOrGeD pRiCk ThRoBbInG aNd TwItChInG aS iT rElEaSeS a DeLuGe Of SoUr, CuRdLeD sEmEn InTo YoUr ThRoAt.*

*mR. mCfEeLy PuLlS oUt Of YoUr ThRoAt As YoU gAg AnD cHoKe On HiS rAnCiD sEmEn. YoU gAsP aNd StRuGgLe To ReGaIn YoUr BrEaTh, As He StUfFs HiS fLaCiD, rEdDeNeD cOcK iNtO hIs TiNy ShOrTs OnCe MoRe. He WaVeS aT mR. rOgErS aNd ExCiTeDlY eXcLaImS* ThErE'S yOuR dElIvErY, wElL, i'vE gOt To DeLiVeR sOmEtHiNg To MiSs BeTsY nOw, SpEeDy DeLiVeRy! *tHeN mR. mCfEeLy RuShEs OuT tHe DoOr As Mr. RoGeRs BeLlOwS* ThAnK yOu! *tUrNiNg HiS aTtEnTiOn BaCk To YoU, hE iNtOnEs* wE'Ve HaD lOtS oF gOoD vIsItS tOdAy, HaVeN'T wE? aNd ExPlAiNiNg ThInGs Is AnOtHeR gReAt WaY oF sAyInG i LoVe YoU, aNd CoMiNg BaCk To ViSiT eAcH dAy Is AnOtHeR wAy! Oh, ThErE aRe So MaNy WaYs, YoU'Ll FiNd ThEm! YoU'Ll CoNtInUe To FiNd ThEm, As YoU cOnTiNuE tO gRoW!

good example why your language sucks ass.

not true

*mR. rOgErS gRaBs YoUr HaIr, YaNkInG iT hArShLy FrOm BeHiNd, As He BeGiNs To PuNcH yOu In ThE bAcK oF tHe HeAd. HiS tHrUsTs GrOw FaStEr, HaRdEr, YoUr StOmAcH bRuIsEd AnD yOuR rIbS cRaCkEd As YoUr BoDy Is ViOlEnTlY sLaMmEd AgAiNsT tHe BaReLy-PaDdEd, HaRd WoOd Of ThE bAcKrEsT oF hIs PaIsLeY-fAbRiC cOuCh. JoYoUsLy, Mr. RoGeRs BeGiNs To SiNg InTo YoUr EaR aS hE rElEnTlEsSlY dOnKeY pUnChEs YoU, eAcH bLoW dElIvErEd WiTh NaVy SeAl PrEcIsIoN..* It's SuCh A gOoD fEeLiNg, To KnOw YoU'Re AlIvE! iT'S sUcH a HaPpY fEeLiNg, My DiCk PoUnDiNg YoUr InSiDeS! aNd WhEn YoU wAkE uP, rEaDy To SaY..
*Mr. RoGeRs PaUsEs, GrAbBiNg YoUr HeAd In BoTh Of HiS hAnDs, AnD wReNcHiNg YoUr HeAd ViOlEnTlY. yOuR sPiNaL cOrD sNaPs, BuT wItH hIs AdVaNcEd NaVy SeAl TrAiNiNg, He MaNaGeS tO aVoId SeVeRiNg ThE aRtErY tHaT wOuLd BrInG yOu ThE sWeEt EmBrAcE oF dEaTh. InStEaD, tHe FeElInG fAdEs FrOm YoUr LoWeR bOdY, aS yOu FiNd YoUrSeLf PaRaLyZeD, aNd KnOw YoU cAn NeVeR eScApE fRoM fReD rOgErS. hE cOnTiNuEs To SiNg, SmIlInG tHaT wIdE, tOoThY gRiN.* I tHiNk I'Ll MaKe A sNaPpY nEw DaY! *He PuLlS oUt Of YoU fInAlLy, AnD fRoM yOuR pArAlYzEd PoSiTiOn, YoU cAn SeE hIs FlAcId, GeRiAtRiC dIcK sLoWlY lEaKiNg ThIcK, rOpEy StRaNdS oF sEmEn. He LeAvEs YoUr LiNe Of SiGhT aS hE cOnTiNuEs To SiNg, OnLy To SlOwLy Re-EnTeR iT, aS hE bEgInS tO cHaNgE hIs ShOeS iN fRoNt Of YoU.* It's SuCh A gOoD fEeLiNg, A vErY gOoD fEeLiNg, ThE fEeLiNg YoU kNoW.. tHaT i'lL bE bAcK, wHeN tHe DaY iS nEw, AnD i'lL hAvE mOrE iDeAs FoR yOu.. AnD yOu'lL hAvE tHiNgS yOu'lL wAnT tO tAlK aBoUt.. I wIlL tOo!
*mR. rOgErS mOvEs To ThE cLoSeT, jUsT bArElY iN tHe CoRnEr Of YoUr ViEw, SpEaKiNg SoFtLy To YoU aS hE cHaNgEs InTo A sUiT jAcKeT, sTiLl NoT wEaRiNg AnY pAnTs As HiS bLoOd AnD sEmEn CaKeD cOcK dAnGlEs BeTwEeN hIs LeGs* yOu AlWaYs MaKe EaCh DaY sUcH a SpEcIaL dAy. YoU kNoW hOw? By JuSt YoUr BeInG yOu. MhM. tHeRe's OnLy OnE pErSoN iN tHiS wHoLe JuSt LiKe YoU, aNd ThAt's YoU, yOuRsElF. aNd PeOpLe CaN lIkE yOu JuSt ThE wAy YoU aRe. I'Ll Be BaCk NeXt TiMe

homeopathy, marriage and religion are frauds

it is possible to exist and not exists at the same time, cuantic particles do it all the time until you collapse them

>it is possible to exist and not exists at the same time
this dude just escaped from a mental intitution

youtube.com/watch?v=OnOWE47ew4I

I hope she wasn't afraid to lose face.

TIME

Boo