Be femanon

>be femanon
>in bed while bf games on compu
>feel like I have to fart really bad
>probably silent
>gonna do it
>feel it bubbling inside me
>get ready to slowly release it so he's none the wiser
>prepare for launch
>bf turns to me
>"Want to get fucked real quick?"
>Look at bf
>too late to stop it
>unleash the foulest, most putrid fart known to man
>was not fucking silent, so loud it sounded like I shit myself
>goes on for about five seconds straight
>dead silence after
>bf stares at me vacantly
>gets up and leaves
>hear car engine start as he peels out of the driveway and drives off
>mfw

It's been a couple hours and he hasn't answered my texts/calls. I'm super worried he's actually mad at me. Fucking never eating chipotle again.

if this is real you should kys
any girl who would discuss such things even on Sup Forums is just awful

lawl you sound like a fairy faggot who probably couldnt even handle banter at your family dinner table

personally i wouldve laughed my ass off.
then asked if you wanted to fuck in another room

...

why would i be a fairy if i'm a femanon?

It did happen and honestly killing myself seems tempting at this point

pretty good OP, chipotle made it believable, everyone knows basic bitches love chipotle

>basic bitches

Hello 2013.

Check This Out

visit: looch.tv/Lil_Ghostie ... free stream of tv shows & chat room

visit: looch.tv/Lil_Ghostie ... free stream of tv shows & chat room

...

Married guy w/ vasectomy here. I would've happily taken that fart straight to the face and pumped a safe load in you in gratitude.

Love from Texas

bitch, chipotle is god food.

and btw
tits or gtfo niggertits.

...

He seriously won't answer my texts. I get that it smelt bad but jesus

Rofl

If he actually left the house and hasn't been answering his phone over something so trivial it probably isn't worth your time to worry about him, assuming that you're not bullshitting us all into oblivion.

I mean he's kinda straight-laced and doesn't have a sense of humor about this kind of stuff so maybe I just really grossed him out. Still sucks though.

That's pretty lameballs. I'm not gonna sit here and lie, it would probably gross me out as well, but not enough to leave my residence in the dead of night and ignore my girlfriend who I live with.

Whatever mane, to each their own. Hopefully he's ok and your thing works out!

I seriously hope you two don't live together. Something as small as this setting him off is a huge as fuck red flag.

why, its funny as fuck. Does he think girls don't fart?

this lmao

...

>Not going back to gaming after you fart...
I'm having some trouble believing you...

Would be funny though if he is trying to scare you as a prank.

quit texting him, you didn't do anything wrong lol. He'll deal with it. or he won't, and you dodged a bullet anyway.

lawl he probably is dead. car crash or as he said he was looking to fuck so he might just be fucking some call girl or someone

>falcon punch to the vagene
>barrel roll the fuck out of the room
you dishonor me!

>Hello (year)
That's getting old too roody poo

OP, that was insensitive of you. What you probably don't know is that a rancid fart just like that one killed his mother in a drunk driving accident. It was rude of you to trigger him like that, intentionally or unintentionally.

fucking
>roody poo
holy shit, hello 2010

Post your ass hole if true op

tell him you were just clearing out your shittube so you could do anal

post shitter fritter

As shitty as i feel this made me lol thank you

your boyfriend sounds like a homo.
he probably was so turned on he went to go fuck his black boyfriend he's being seeing on the down low
plot twist: it's the same guy you cheat on your bf with

>Fucking never eating chipotle again.

don't ever talk about chipotle like that

OP, huge red flag if he reacted like that because of a fart. Just chill until he comes back, maybe he went after a takeout from chipotle.

...

Yes

seriously, the time I knew love was real, love of my life.

when my ex-gf (the one that got away and moved back to europe), felt so comfortable around me, that she could make a fart joke to me (didnt actually shit her pants like you did), she would call me " a shit", and lift leg and point butt cheek at me and vocalize a fart sound in my direction (she grew up with 3 brothers, so she knew fart jokes are funny)...

and when she really needed to piss, and I was in shower or brushing my teeth, she didnt think twice about jumping into bathroom with me still in it, and sitting down on toilet to piss (no, not take a shit, she had 'some' class, i guess)...

but the fact that we felt so comfortable towards each other, that was really really fucking special now that i look back on it....

pic related

post some nudes already

Your boyfriend is clearly a fudgenudger whose own pooper is so clogged up with man gravy, he can't fart and is jealous.

My GF had diarrhea a week ago and shit herself from a psych fart. Fuckin hilarious thing that happened. Laughed about it and make fun of her till this day.

On the bad side, shit smelled so bad and I haven't kissed or banged her since then

Then again, been slowly losing interest in her and this kind of thing turned me off from her even more.

Post pics

...

>femanon
>no.jpg

tits with timestamp or gtfo cumdumpster

You seem fucked in the head for a bunch of different reasons

I'd be disgusted and probably irritated if I was horny and wanted to fuck. Might even have felt you were making fun of me.

Fucking tits or gtfo

This thread reeks of bull shit and white knighting

He was probably raised to believe girls don't fart.

?????? Well now I don't know what to think. I think I let crazy stick it's dick in me.

>That bed reeked of shit

>what's up

LMAOOOOOO this dude is taking you for a ride. snip snip snip

lawl i was correct earlier. he went and fucked someone else

Might just turn in for tonight, seriously pissed off

He's crying on r9k right now probably. That's funny as fuck and you dodged a bullet

Honestly just let him be. Now you know where he draws the line with this kind of thing. Hopefully you see how much of a fucking moron he is for letting that get under his skin

>no tits or GTFO
I'm disappointed

good fiction

you can find tits anywhere and most real users have a double monitor going with porn playing at all times. i mean yea she has tits, but her boyfriend rolled out just because she farted. she is most likely kind of a ugly person.

Me too. There's 56 people in this thread who should off themselves an rid this board of cancer.

I cant imagine being this new again, fuck....

Bitch is attention whoring. B doesnt provide attention unless these walking cum dumpsters post the only thing of value, their tits.

>fuck....
lawl what a faggy response.

Im gonna have ask you for your tits with timestamps,miss.

show those tits with a timestamp because your bf is a shit who is going to leave you

>B
>Disappointed_niggers.jpg

Retarded, no one cares.

Read the thread fuck face. I’m disappointed in you.

>Read

Night guys, thanks for the laugh.

this... honestly
also

Especially being from Texas

thiiiiiiiis

What does your vasectomy have to do with anything?