ITT: We're in a waiting room

ITT: We're in a waiting room...

>pulls out phone and goes on Sup Forums

*cough*
*sniff*

>stands up to get a tissue
>drops phone on floor
>bends down to pick it up...

>try to fart silently
>lean to side slightly
>shit myself a little

*Turns TV on to daytime talk show. Turns volume way up*

>try ignore smell
>flip through 2 year old slightly sticky vanity fair

*stares loudly*

*cries*

*get up and turn volume down*

>gets up and looks around before shaking head and sitting back down

*packs bowl*

>gives this guy a medal.

Stares at the clock

Calls a truancy officer to get this 10 year old edgelord back to his Spelling class

*impatiently coughs in annoyance glaring at the volume guy*

*dabs repeatedly*

>Drags chair to a lone corner on the room so I can be by myself and nobody will sit next to me
>instantly regret decision as a hot grill walks in
>for some reason I think that she would have sat next to me if I wern't in a corner by myself
>don't bother talking to her out of embarrassment despite the fact that all the shame is in my head and she hasn't even noticed me yet
>cry internationally
>continue browsing Sup Forums to forget what happened

HARRY RICHARD, HARRY RICHARD. IS HARRY RICHARD HERE?

*takes a hit & passes bowl to this asshole*
here u need this more than I do

*Places hand on the knee of the next guy*

Excuse me, but we have a strict no dabbing rule here, you will have to do that outside.

Who wants to pound butt?

>gives awkward look
Can you not?

I wasn't dabbing ;)

>try to stealth fap
>fail
>continue anyway while looking at the volume guy

>rubbing one out in the corner
>trying to hide with newspaper

*start dabbing again*

*disgustingly hacks up mucus while browsing my cheap phone with long ass ghetto nails thinking im hot shit*

>cry internationally
>mean while in africa
>"hey mutaboo you hear a bitch crying?"

We're 2 different stealth fappers, not the same.

>walks in
>looks around
>find seat
>taps feet

*answers phone*
throws chair across the room
"FUUUUUUUUUCK!"

*Pulls large inflatable crocodile out of bag and proceeds to blow it up*

*slaps your sticky-with-blue-jolly-rancher-residue hand away from me and points to the certified tardwrangler standing at the door looking for you*
looks like they're ready for you bud. hope your first special education class goes well.

>take thrown chair
>fling it at next person like tard

>sits on chair
>takes his needles out
>inject myself with dank mariuhana

>enter room
>"Good afternoon"
>no reaction
>noticing the 13 yr old in a mini
>innocently checking her out

well done, forty-seven.

>cry internationally
>

Dude, is it hot in here or is it just me?

>drag chair next to guy in corner
>make extremely aggressive eye contact
>wink
>fart so hard my ass feels warm for the next 5 mins

MODS

>hit bong
>bong explodes in to shards
>person after me splattered with blood

>pulls laptop out of bag
>puts headset on
>starts twitch
“What’s up guys it’s ya boii skinnypenis, today we are playing getting over it.”

*grabs officer by throat*

>"Fine"
>*unzips pants with the same hand that was on the knee and starts fondling his balls*
>"Sorry, I have a condition. Don't mind me"
>*also starts looking at the volume up guy*

>stand up while edging
>look at volume guy
>cum on the only girl in the room
>tip fedora

he b&

>pull out a gun and perform a mass shooting cuz america

its you

*officer pulls gun and shoots the terrorist*

Anyone else a bit chilly?

>teleports behind u
>nothing personnel.. kid...

>Come in
>No seats available
>"Oh bollocks!"
>Squat on the ground near the water machine
>Wait

ayyyy ;)
you lookin pretty cute

any y'all want to touch my beard hair? It's nice and beardy.
why we in this waiting room anyway?

Fuck me, I meant internally...
Now I can't stop laughing

>"Excuse me, Sir? SIR! This is highly irregular, I would ask you to cease whatever it is you're doing and quiet down. Thank you."
>*Continues fondling balls while looking at the volume up guy*
>*Starts breathing heavily*

>meanwhile in India
Hijab, are you crying again?

hey c-can I see?

yells obnoxiously
"WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR??"

(whispering because office building)

Maybe it was a bad idea to wear 23 jackets, but I watched that movie with Jim Carrey last night and its got my head super fucked up

*sees pretzel on floor*

>Hey user, you gonna eat that? Cause if you arent, I will, I skipped breakfast to be here.

two pounds for a glass of water mate

You can see my pet snake, he's in my pants.

uwu

>ignores from in game sound
Welcome to the skinny army my friend thanks for the 18month sub, remember the more the sub the more I sub
>takes our choker collar from bag and puts it on, applying this red lipstick as I go

>"Why of course! My daddy always said not to be shy to show our dicks, since they're so good size and all"
>*pulls down pants only to reveal a completely pubeless micropenis and two huge testicles*
>"You can touch them too if you like"

>Hold my hand with my palm facing up
Are going to pay up or not
>Stares at the user
>Start to whistle hohenfriedberger march
>Continues to stare

It's a bit bloody chilly in 'ere mate, I wouldn't mind a cuppa. OI NURSES, DO YOU SERVER FREE TEA? "no" WELL YOU BLOODY WELL SHOULD, THE NHS'S PAYING BLOODY GOOD MONEY FOR THESE HOSPITALS

>proceeds to masturbate in his hand
There's your payment ;)

> watches videos on phone
> max volume
> headphones clearly visible in pocket

"Hijab"

this
every damn two or three seconds

Chek'd

>beholds the deer image for two hours

(still whispering cause office)

Shhhhh! with language like that youll get us all kicked out m8! Ive been here before, they arent nice people! I dont know why were here, but it cant be good, not with all us fags in here.

>Watch the scene of grown man masturbating his own dick with my hand
>Don't stop whistling
>Stare at him
>Pulls out my dick
>Starts to masturbate with the other hand
Here ya glass of water

>decide to browse Sup Forums in my phone
>looking around from time to time to make sure no one is seeing all the loli and NSFW stuff I'm into

*obnoxiously loudly* SORRY MATE, WHAT WAS THAT?

AHHH FUCK!!!!!

*makes me spill hot coffee on myself*

(whispers with aggression)
I fucking told you not to goddamn do that you (screams) FUCK!

>Comes in with broken leg
>compound fracture
>bleeding everywhere
>nurse says
"We will be with you shortly."
>nowhere to sit in waiting room
>bleeds out and dies in hall

Sir, we're in the US of fucking A.

You are now $10000 in debt.

*aggressive*
YOU WANNA START SOMETHING, FAGGOT?
YOU WANNA GO?

I FUCKING CANT CAUSE IVE GOT 3RD DEGREE BURNS ON MY FUCKING SCROTUM YOU FUCKING WANK!!!!!

>Oye cómo va mi ritmooooooooo!!!
>Shit on hand
>Throw
>Exit room.

LIKE THAT'S MY FAULT! YOU SPILLED THAT FOR ATTENTION

FUCK YOU! IF I COULD FUCKIN MOVE ID CUT THAT HOLE UNDER YOUR NOSE RIGHT OF YOUR FUCKING HEAD!!!!

>these captchas are killing me, 22 signs I have to click? Really?

>watch as morbidly obese man pulls ar 15 out of scooter basket
>guns down would be mass shooter
>watch as hero amerifat eats his double stuffed candy corn oreos by the fist full
>clap

FUCKING OVERREACTING ATTENTION WHORE.
YOU CAN MOVE IF YOU WANT, IT'S JUST A BITTA COFFEE

haha I've set it to use old style 2-word capchas

(Slapps you with sticky MAGAzine)
FUCK YOU BITCH!

I havent bothered, I should now cause its pretty annoying

>enters waiting room with number 46
>checks out room
>ignore the 2 man fighting over nothing
>ignore the 5 dudes wanking over a guy who lowered the volume on a fucking tv
>ignore the mass shooter amd the dabbing guy
>decide to sit next to the hot chick

>walk into room
>look around
>find seat next to the most uncomfortable looking person possible
>sit next to them
>spread legs out as wide as possible and nudge on to their arm rest
>begin muttering as i rifle through bag for tupper ware container full of ethnic food
>begin to eat without closing mouth
>strike up conversation with person next to me as if we were neighbors
>person tries to pretend they dont know im talking to them
>tap his shoe with my foot
>make direct eye contact
>continue talking at unnecessarily loud volume
>occasionally have food fly out of mouth and land on them

>chick looks at me with a disgusted face
>”hi, im user what number do you have?”
>chick ignores me and stands up to sit next to the guy in the corner
>I quiently cry until my number gets announced.

>go up to corner guy
>start jerking off
>bust a nut on him

>randomly run up to the two guys
>spill my own coffee on one
>quickly grab chair and throw at the other guy
>finish what i started and mute the t.v so everyone has to watch regis and kelly with no sound

*Picks up equally sticky Argos catalogue and proceeds to thump you on the head with it*
Fuck you too
>some bystander threatens to call the cops

>makes eye contact with attractive girl

>imagine life together

girls love a guy who can do big cummies

I cry intentionally to get "black guy treatment" so I can get called back first, I do and I stick my bottom lip out and as me and the lady walk away I look back with a smile and stick my tongue out

>in reality I gotta go, always saw these threads but never joined in, it was always funny though,
>See you Sup Forumsros, I gotta go do laundry before work, oilfield 17 day hitch comin up.
>You guys made it a fun week off again