Hey guys! Story time about the first strip club I ever visited. Just happened tonight.
> Be me, have a few hours on my hands
> Can't go home yet because the wife is gone and she doesn't trust me to stay away from porn if she's gone (she's right)
> Having a crisis of faith (religious fag) over the past week or so.
> Been thinking about going to a strip club - afternoon shift so I could go during lunch at work and let the perfume wear off
> Heard that afternoon shift might be ugly, but I figure bobs are bobs and vagene is vagene.
> Browse for clubs in incognito mode. Find out I live in a state that requires pasties over the tits and doesn't allow lap dances.
> ohwell.jpg I make good money can't be that bad
> Settle for one that opens at 6 PM, the rest open at 7
Hey guys! Story time about the first strip club I ever visited. Just happened tonight
>meet this one stripper
>her name is variah
>asks me if i want a private show
>she grabs me by the hand
>takes me to a little black room
>she opens the door
>we both lie down on the floor
>everyone walk the dinosaur
By the way, none of the clubs were open during the afternoon. 6PM was the earliest.
> Stop at ATM, get $100 out. Not going to use credit card at shady place
> Disable location on phone, leave in car
> Pull up to "gentleman's club." Looks like a tiny warehouse building with like 7 cars in front.
> ohshitimnervous.jpg
> Walk in, pay entry fee of $10.
> Guy at desk checks my id, writes down my name in book (pleaseno)
> Writes my name on a card, says it will give me discount for rest of year.
> Better hide this
> Walk in to main room
> No strippers anywhere
Pls continue user
> Nothing like the movies.
> Instead of techno, there was 70's rock
> Two empty stages with poles
> Finally find the one stripper on duty
> Easy to tell because she's the only one in a bikini
> Also she's the only girl
> Some drunk dude is talking to her
> She's listening politely but tapping her foot like she's bored
> I'm sitting off to the side, trying to get up the courage to talk to a stripper
> Not drinking because I don't drink.
> Just sitting at a table pretending to stare off into space
> Realize nobody will care if I leer at a stripper, so start staring
> She looks over my way for a millisecond
> No idea how any of this works
> Sit for 15 minutes waiting
> Finally drunk guy moves over and talks to someone else
> Walk over and sit next to her at the bar
> She turns, smiles
> ohyes.jpg
> Me: "This is my first time here, I have no idea how any of this works. What are my options?"
> Her: "Well we'll dance up on the stage as long as we're getting tips. $25 gets you a lap dance."
> Thought that was illegal in my state. Never trust the web.
> Me: "Let's do the $25 then"
> She says ok, we start walking to one of the "private" rooms
> Private meaning like a cubicle
> Rest of room can't see, but spot for bouncer to watch
> NoBouncers.gif
> Give her the $25
> Her: "Usually this is only for one song, but since it's slow I'll give you another for free"
> Starts grinding like crazy
> Her: "What's your name?"
> "John"
> Her: "That's a goooood name"
> Bites my ear
> Finds my dick with her crotch
> Keeps going
Yes. "keeps going" is the ticket here, user.
keep going.
> Furious Boner
> Me: "What are the rules for touching?"
> Her: "Usually there's a guy watching from over there - if that happens, your hands need to be on either arm of the couch."
> "I've only been doing this for four days, so since it's such a shitty lap dance you can do what you want"
> Oh My Yes
> Start by running my fingers under the back of her bra
> Testing to see when she tells me to stop
> She doesn't
> She's alternating front and backwards facing
> Turns around, start running my fingers under the front of her bra
> Expect to have her stop me, doesn't happen
> She keeps checking over her shoulder for bouncer.jpg
> Nobody comes, so we keep going
Moar
> Get all the way to her nipples
> Covered by pasties
> Oh well
> Pull up her bra to see whole package
> Perfect tiny tits
> Kiss the one on the right
> Her: "the other girls have some amazing moves. I would be afraid of hitting you in the face if I tried any"
> Me: "Then you'd have to give it to me for free"
> Her (whispering): "I'm already giving you this one for free"
Go on
then you cum and its all over??
> Dance wraps up
> "You're sooo cute"
> Get one last handbra in
> Kisses me on forehead
> Stares at me from 2 inches
> Waiting for me to kiss her
> Don't since I have wife
> Kisses me hard on nose
> Walk out of private room with bigger smile on face than in a long time
> Feeling horny, in perfect mood to fuck wifey now
> Smell like cigarette smoke and slut perfume
> Won't wear off in 10 minute drive home
> Go to Wal-Mart
> Buy new shirt and pants
> Also some Reeses cups
> Wife loves Reeses
> Leave smelly clothes in car
> Rinse hair off in Wal-Mart restroom
> Still smell slightly
> Wife doesn't suspect anything
> Both playing video games now
Well, off to bed now, thanks for listening. Thought I would feel more guilty about this, but it was a lot of fun.
This story sucks and you suck
Planning a return?
Don't make a habit out of it user, strip clubs and marriages don't get along
An inspiration to the rest of us to not sell our autonomy and freedom. If you weren't such a bitch you'd have been fucking that stripper in the parking lot. But no, you're a bitch.
I don't think so, not to this one. There's another one in town that's rated 3.8 stars instead of 3.5 stars. If I get a chance to go at 7:00 I might.
Take your wife next time.. you'd be surprised that she may be into it.
I told my wife that I had never been to a strip club and she insisted that we go.. greatestest night of my life.
Won't be a habit I don't think. Probably won't happen more than once a year when the timing is right.
My wife would go ballistic if she found out. We're in a religion that would frown deeply on it, and she's a good woman.
Just wanted to see what the porny girls were like in real life.
Did you fuck your wife or not?
Yeah, I'm a bitch, but as a happily married man I get laid more than 90% of you by default
Not yet. She's got some of the best tits I've found, and a booty to grab on to which I like.
No pics for you guys, sorry. She doesn't even let me take pictures for myself.
kek
enjoy that same ol' missionary my friend
Funny thing about the whole experience is I realized what I loved about my wife's body. Thought it would be the complete opposite. I guess we need variety every once in a while.
Well my dick isn't long enough for anything else so you got me there
well at least tell me you can get her off with it, right?
ALWAYS ASK IF SHE "DOES TAKEOUT." IF SHE SAYS NO OR "WHAT?" JUST SAY NEVERMIND. BEST CASE SCENARIO YOUR FUCKING HER IN YOUR CAR.
It's actually easier when you're short enough to go all the way in - it doesn't hit the cervix, and your crotch bone rubs her clitoris. If foreplay is done right it feels like her g-spot is looking for you and not the other way around.
ok. it sounds like it works for you two, but that's def not the norm.
Are you her first? It kinda sounds like it