What is the most illegal thing you have done?

What is the most illegal thing you have done?

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Ripped one of those do not remove tags off a mattress

Nice try FBI

I fart and burp all the time. I seem to have gas constantly and I release it in some form approximately every 5 minutes. Apparently I do it in my sleep too.

If I'm on my own, surrounded by family or friends, I fart loudly without any attempt to conceal it. If I'm in public I still fart and burp but quieter. Even in work and in meetings I fart but I just do it quieter. They almost never smell, and even if they do its pretty mild and passes quickly.

There are only very rare circumstances in which I'll hold it in, the conditions have to meet all of the following criteria:

> I have eaten spicy food or drank lots of beer the night before
> I have farted a few times already and they fucking stink
>I'm in a social environment with people I'm not totally comfortable with

I stole Reese’s cups one time when I was 4 and my mom beat my ass

Kek

beat a bum to death in floyd county because I was on a cocktail of drugs a normal person would not survive and it seemed like it would be fun

youtube.com/watch?v=rqEwX9Orp7M

most illegal, with my actual body?

one time i actually bought one of those stupid fucking "herbal ecstacy" silver cardboard pyramids of pills from a head shop. i wanted a high. i ate them ALL. i smoked lots of cheap weed. i wasn't feeling wonderfully high but i felt stomach cramping. i drove to quik mart to get a big soda. the shit came over me like fear and loathing and i didn't know it but i was seriously detached. as i got in my car, i made a super tight turn out of my spot like an idiot. i hit a car.

it was a fucking cadillac and i caved in the back passenger door. i pulled back in to my spot and got out to see the damage. i was stunned and very, very confused. i wandered, stunned, to the front of the car. suddenly, some guy came out of the KFC that car was parked at and came towards me. it was like something out of a movie, with me expecting him to know everything about what i had done to his car and about to kill me... i was quaking... i was in the ultimate fear adrenaline hell... i stared at him with wide eyes and he looked back... and walked past me. i stood there for a few seconds... frozen. then i got in my car and drove home. it was pretty awesome.

I stole a bike right out of Walmart.

like, it wasn't his car...

we got that, retardo

How the fuck did you do that teach me senpai

you're a faggot

today i....didn't return my shopping trolley

I continuously stole fentanyl patches from a chronic pain patient I knew for a while. Made me feel quite morally bankrupt, but smoking those off foil was a damn spectacular rush

I do not always look both ways before crossing the street. I will look right, and spin further right to check my right. After both rights are clear I walk forward with my feet.

i never break the law but my friend's friend, who has a brother, his sister's daughter, has an uncle who told that one time in highschool him and his circle of friends knew someone who left for a week so they decided to go party in his empty house. They tried picking the lock of the garage door, but that wasn't working so they just hammered the handle untill they could take it out. Got drunk and high, next morning put in a new handle. He said no one ever heard anything about the key not working on the door from the kid who lived there.

I went to pay for it and the cashier was giving me a hard time cause there was no tag. so I just thought fuck it and just went like I was going to put it back, but then just strolled to the exit lmao. an old lady was there, asked me for the receipt. I just said, "I brought it in with me".

home free. rode that shit home and used it for years.

I smuggled Kinder eggs over the border from Canada to the US.

SHIIIIIEEEEET

I suffer from the same issue to user. Im lactose intelligent and i fucking love yogurt. So my farts are always dank as fuck

When i was 11 i stole a bike.
Some dude must've forgot his bike lock or something, it was just sitting there so i hopped on and rode it home.

>my friend's friend
>has a brother
>his sister's daughter
>has an uncle
>him
>his circle of friends
>knew someone
>they
>They
>so they
>until they
>He
>no one
>the kid

uh-huh. OK.

Ur momma

nogg

Are you trying to convey some kind of message, or is someone here retarded?

Lel

Speeding while running a stop sign while in possession of marijuana, a water bong, a pipe, and a grinder. Nothing to brag about, but then again I'm white.

I fucked a bacon cheeseburger

Yeah life goes on. Im a waiter and i crop dust the restaurant like a mother fucker. I dont know what the fuck is wrong with me but i have gas all the fucking time regardless if i have eaten anything

Shot my load up an on duty cop's tie while he fucked me on the back seat of his patrol car.

Stabbed someone with a prank gone wrong they lived (I hope)

You're pretty goddamned stupid, aren't you?

Check fraud
Hard drugs
Shoplifting

I fucked my girlfriends dog once. Fucking bitch was tight, could feel her orgasm on my dick, and everything. Dog was a better fuck than she was.

Graffiti and poppin pills

i used to grow and sell psychedelic mushrooms. not for long. just a couple months so i could give my family a kickass christmas

O don't know if I should feel ashamed or freaked out from the shit you all have done

A long time ago, I found myself without a job or prospects. I took the last of my savings, and bought a pound of pot, broke it up in dime bags and tripled my money. So, I paid rent and bills, and bought two pounds. While I was flipping bags around town, I ran into a crew who had a large stash of guns. I knew a guy who knew somebody who was looking for weapons, and all of a sudden I was dealing drugs and guns.

I made some fat stacks, but ended up blowing most of it on heroin one summer.

I cleaned up, found a decent job, and don't do anything illegal these days. I pay my honest taxes and don't even speed when I'm driving.

The money was great, but the tension and worry about jail, rip offs, and theft and murder were far too great.

Pissed on a rabbit

Well, I was indicted on 54 counts of PC459. So there's that.

I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die...

Stole $9500, got a B&E and multiple counts of grand larceny, got off no charges, just community service. I am white, so it makes sense

>friend's friend, who has a brother, his sister's daughter, has an uncle

If the friend's friend has a brother who has a sister, doesn't that make her the friend's friend's sister as well? And if she has a daughter who has an uncle, wouldn't that just be the brother again? Or the original friend's friend if they were male?

That whole story had a ridiculously convoluted chain of connections, which is what the poster you replied to was pointing out.

Of course, if all these people were niggers, then the story makes more sense. His brother's sister might not even be related to him, and her daughter's uncle could be anybody, including her daddy's son.

I'm saying he, and now you, are pretty goddamned stupid for getting halfway through the first sentence of that post without then realizing that whatever he was saying wasn't to be taken seriously, let alone picked apart in that manner.

Never has there been loli hotter than this camsexter.com/babes

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Aye I'm not the only one to kill someone

yr mom

pajeet is that you buddy

Armed robbery

Had sex in the missionary position for the sole purpose of procreation

I opened a box from the opposite end i was instructed to open it from. so ashamed.

>pic related
Get on my level

...

fag

I was molested when I was a 9-years-old and I didn't report that crime, turn me on a accomplice, and therefore, in a criminal scum.

Stole my car back from impound without paying. I got a call from the police later that day, and went to pay the fine after work, I was so angry that I was rude towards the police officer guarding the clerk's desk, and he seemed like he was afraid of me and was about to draw on me. He kept screaming at me to calm down and whatnot. I hope he watches his children starve to death and dies in ignominy.

Oh, and I stabbed the shit out of a guy once and nearly killed him. The only reason I got away with it is that he was too thuglife to press charges or for the police to give a fuck about him. I doubt I'll be so lucky again.

I was also possibly the most prolific shoplifter in my state when I was a teenager. Literally thousands of dollars worth of computers, videogames, and other goods stolen over the course of just a few years.

And I was neighborhood prowling voyeur. Few things provide a better rush than bushwhacking a mile through the woods at night to get behind a sexy lady's house and spy on her changing her clothes through her bedroom window.

That's all the stuff I care to confess on Sup Forums anyway. I won't bother talking about all the drug stuff, because everyone's into that now.

I got like 43 felonies try an stop dis

gonna need more story on this one, for research purposes.I'm a scientist.

did you does meth?

Stealing panties for like 4 years straight from some girl I knew.

No. I'm fairly health conscious. I smoke weed, do all the psychadelics I can get my hands on, adderral, and the occasional line of coke, but no meth, no crack, and definitely no heroin.

I stole panties from a nine year old girl that I babysat.

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Shredded the FUCK out beyond the boundaries of law