Help me Sup Forums I think I'm retard

Help me Sup Forums I think I'm retard
>Be me, a few hours ago
>Christmas night
>Friend just got away from his family
>I have a shit family
>We decide to go out and do something
>nothingisopenonchristmas.png
>Fuck
>Drive around
>He’s driving, I’m trying to play my shitty music out of his shitty speaker
>Stumble upon a Denny’s by the freeway
>Cars in the parking lot
>Go inside
>No one’s at the host podium
>Tempted to seat myself
>Eventually someone wanders over and starts leading us to the main section
>She stops
>She turns around
>She takes us into the back section
>The section they only use if the main section is full
>It wasn’t
>There were like three groups of people
>whatever.jpg
>Sit down in the booth
>Can see into the kitchen area just by looking straight ahead
>Weird place to put a booth but whatever
>Look over and see waitress in R2-D2 Christmas sweater jump up from a booth across the room
>Solid 7.5/10, short-ish black hair, kind of emo look, my kind of girl
>Not a huge Star Wars fan but eh
>Nametag says “Zarah”
>Proposed to a girl named Sarah when I was in Kindergarten so that name’s like an immediate autism connection for me
>Feel kinda bad though, like me and my friend came in as she was probably just about to leave
>She doesn’t seem to mind though
>She talks to us
“Hey guys, what’ll it be?”
>Voice immediately shoots her up to a 9/10
>Instantly fall in love with Zarah
(cont.)

>Instantly fall in love with Zarah
fucking superkek

>I somehow manage to stammer out “w-w-water”
>Friend looks me dead in the eye and asks for water too, and coffees for the both of us
“Okay, I’ll have that out in a second!”
>Fuck she looks amazing walking away
>Visibly staring at this point
>Friend brings me back
>snapbacktoreality.wav
>Realize how creepy I must look
>We shrug it off
>I’ve always been the autistic one of the two of us
>He accepts me for who I am
>Start looking at the menu
>Not hungry but figure I should order something to not be weird
>Looking back I think that’s probably what the coffees were for
>But I also wanted an excuse to talk to Zarah again
>I can see her in the back making the coffee
>Friend and I start idly talking, I’m a bit preoccupied
>She comes back
>Brings the whole fucking coffee pot and a shit ton of creamers
“Made it fresh, just for you”
>ohmyfuckingheart.jpeg
>Say we probably need a bit of time to look over the menu
>Friend looks at me again but shrugs it off
>She leaves
>”She’s kinda cute dude”
>”Yeah user, she is”
>Glad we’re in agreement
>Somewhat able to focus on talking to him now for some reason
>Kind of look over the menu as we catch up
>Thinking about getting a hot chocolate because it’s been a while
>And that cake batter shake looks amazing
>But she’ll probably think I’m a fatass if I order that
>mfw I am a fatass anyway
>Think ‘Fuck it, I’ll get it anyway’
>What’s the worst that could happen? Diabetes?
>I want to die anyway so that’s like a best case scenario
>Put menu down, talk to friend in earnest
>Talk about how I’ve gotten back into Sup Forums
>He looks vaguely disappointed
>Fucking normie
>Start describing some of the new lolcows I’ve been digging into
>This is the shit he lives for
>Describe this one girl that had this autistic mental break
>Name was Hellender or something
>Try to pull up her channel but it’s gone
>Go to Twitter
>Gone too
>Bitch deleted her entire fucking internet

>Loudly laughing about the whole situation
>Friend is telling me to shut the fuck up
>There's a family at a table like a few feet away from us
>I don't give a shit honestly I'm just losing my shit over this
>See Zarah coming back
>Don’t want her to know I’m a fucking 4chinner
>Not ready for that
>Shut up abruptly
“You guys decided yet?”
>”Yeah, can I get a hot chocolate?
“Sure!”
>”And uh... uh..."
>Never finish that sentence
>Too terrified to order the 1000 calorie shake
>She just kinda looks at me, smiles a bit, and walks away
>Fuck
>Whatever
>Friend and I laugh it off
>Back to lolcows
>A bit louder this time
>Hot chocolate comes back super fucking fast
>Like within 5 minutes
>Shit ton of whipped cream on top
>Way more than usual
>shelikesme.mp4
>Funny idea
>Immediately take a huge bite out of the whipped cream
>Make that dumb anime "Nom!" sound
>You know the one faggot
>As soon as my lips touch cream I realize my mistake
>But I can't stop
>I've gone too far
>I See out of the corner of my eye
>Past the cream and the shame
>Zarah takes a half step back
>Smile falters
>Sidesteps, pivots and powerwalks back into the kitchen
>Set down mug
>Friend wordlessly lifts spoon and takes the rest of my whipped cream
>I think he was protecting me from being that fucking mentally challenged again

boop

>We start talking again
>I say
>”You know, I kinda want to make her mad so she spits in my food or something”
>”What the fuck”
>The barely contained disgust speaks volumes on his face
>Laugh it off like it was a joke
>But I was only like 75% joking tbh
>He's not laughing
>He's just looking at me
>I've gotten that look before
>I know it all too well
>It's the "Stop before I regret being your friend" look
>He looks back down at the menu
>Look up into the kitchen
>She’s looking at us out of the corner of her eye
>Fuck did she hear that
>Fuck
>Maybe
>Maybe she thought it was funny too
>I give a tiny wave
>She looks away
>FUCK
>She powerwalks towards us
“Anything else you guys wanted?”
>Friend chimes in now
>”We’re still thinking. Maybe? Give us a second”
>whatisheplanning.mov
“Okay!”
>She books it out of there
>”What? Maybe I want some French Toast”
>Fucking whatever dude
>We keep talking about Sup Forums and shit
>He's a recovering Sup Forumstard
>Honestly he was an user a lot longer than I have been
>But he gave up that life long ago
>And now he spends a lot of his time with me making sure I don't sperg out in public
>I have my very own tard wrangler guys
>areyouproudofmedad.pdf
>Some time passes
>We finally decide that yes
>Yes we do want some French Toast
>Decide to wait for Zarah to come back
>But she doesn’t
>She doesn’t come back
>Not for a long, long time

Albert Wesker/10

OP is a sperg

>I can see her in the kitchen
>She's not really doing anything
>Kind of pretending to clean the bar
>Sometimes she walks towards us
>Stops at the drink machine
>Pretends to clean it for like a half second
>Goes back
>Repeat ad naseum
>I make direct eye contact for a solid like 5 seconds at one point
>She knows
>I know
>It's weird
>This goes on for at least 20 minutes
>I start to feel bad after a while
>What if everyone else is gone?
>What if she was supposed to get off work like an hour ago?
>What if this is her way of saying "Fuck off"?
>Paranoid as fuck at this point

Pathetic. Kys

>every one of OPs encounters play out like this

>Finally I get up
>masterplan.doc
>”I’m gonna pretend to go to the bathroom. I want to see if we’re the only ones left and we’re like holding them back. And maybe then she'll remember like... That we exist”
>Kinda have to go anyway so win/win
>Go back
>Walk kinda slow so I can do a head count
>But not too slow
>Zarah might notice
>There’s still like 2 groups in the main section
>Each about 3 people
>That's pretty okay
>Go into the bathroom
>Undo pants
>Piss in a urinal for like 3 seconds
>Not nearly as much as I thought
>Jiggle my dick a bit and zip up my pants
>Wash hands
>Hand on bathroom door handle
>Shit
>Wait
>She saw me come in
>She was right there
>She had to have seen me come in
>Who the fuck finishes in the bathroom in under a minute?
>I can’t come out yet
>That’d be weird
>So I stay in the bathroom
>Not doing anything
>Just fixing my hair or washing my hands again or some shit
>For at least a solid 20 minutes
>Kinda lost track of time
>No clocks in bathrooms
>But it hits me eventually that it’s been too far long and it’s weird again
>Panic
>Fight or flight
>Kinda run out of the bathroom
>Kinda trip out of the bathroom
>Almost fall
>Hope she didn’t see
>She probably saw
>Casually stroll back to the table
>He doesn't even question why I was gone so long
>The other group left already
>Confirm we're not alone
>He tells me Zarah’s not been back yet
>What the actual fuck

OP is a lady killer, as in they would rather die than staying with him another second

Lol. This is way too much loser to fit into one person.

bro why do you have to worry about how long you take in the fucking bathroom? I will sometimes take 1 minute and not give a fuck . Like do you really think your waitress cares about how long you were in the bathroom for? The bitch is working christmas for fucks sake.

Take is test see if retaed

Post moar OP ^-^

>Another like 10 minutes pass
>We’re debating whether to just ask for the check or not
>It’s almost midnight
>Decide that if she’s not back in 15 minutes we’ll just get the check
>He doesn’t really want to tip her
>Granted it’s been kinda shitty service
>But I always tip a lot (even though I can’t really afford it) since I have a soft spot for minimum-wageslaves
>Especially waiters
>Especially hot waitresses
>Named Zarah
>Maybe she'll fuck me if I pay her
>Tell him we have to tip because it’s Christmas
>He reluctantly agrees
>Make a joke like “It might not be Christmas by the time she comes back"
>Pity laugh
>Still a laugh
>Suddenly now he has to piss
>Tells me to just order the French Toast if she comes by
>He leaves
>Almost immediately she comes out of the kitchen
“You guys decide on anything yet?”
>Oh fuck
>”Uh, yeah, yeah, uh, c-c-can we get two slices of French Toast?”
“Okay, cool!"
>Nailed that shit
>Now she'll totally suck my dick
"And so by that do you mean, like you both want two slices, or you each get one, or…?”
>Fuck
>Shit
>I don’t know
>I just kind of make noises and vaguely agree with the last thing she said
>We’re both visibly confused
>Stand there for a bit
>After intensely staring at each other she repeats herself
“So, one for each, or two?”
>”Uh, wuh-wuh-one, one each, yeah, that”
>She gets the message probably
>She lingers for a second
>As she’s about to leave I get an urge to ask when they close because I don’t want to be keeping her after hours
>Start to ask
>She turns around
>Is that a glimmer in her eye?
>Just then friend returns from bathroom
>I stop dead in my tracks
>Kinda stiffly wave at him
>He waves back
>She slowly turns to go
>Still not as bad as it could have been I guess

By far the cringiest thing I've read on /b

Newfag?

Close to a year now

>I watch her make this French Toast from afar
>She's quick, knows what she's doing
>Or she just wants to leave
>But then she fucking DESTROYS one of them with powdered sugar
>Like so much fucking sugar
>They’re back out in under 2 minutes
>I get the nuked one
>Friend asks for the check before the plates touch the table
“I’ll... Have that right out to you guys, just a sec!”
>I start eating
>It’s honestly the best French Toast I’ve ever had
>Just gooey enough on the inside, crisp on the outside, and Jesus that sugar
>I know I’ll probably have to cut off my right foot but fuck it
>So engrossed that I don’t even notice her put the bill down
>She probably said something
>Didn’t hear her over this honestly too-good-to-be-Denny’s French Toast
>See the bill
>It’s just over $11
>We finish and get up to pay at the front
>Can see Zarah out the window standing in front of the restaurant
>She’s wearing this blue dinosaur jacket thing
>Fucking cute as hell is what it was
>Bumps her up to a 9.5/10
>As my friend starts to take out his card to pay she comes in
>Sits on a counter behind the person taking the money
>One shot
>One opportunity
>It’s go time
>I tell him I can cover it
>Fumble with wallet
>Take out a $20
>Hand it to the woman
>Zarah looks up
>”The rest is – the change is – the rest is –
that’s the tip. Keep the change, that’s the tip”
>Second of silence as the world crumbles
>”I’ll make sure it goes to your server…”
>”Well, I mean, she’s right behind you, so – ”
>Friend saves me and cuts me off
>Starts walking out the door and he gives a “Merry Christmas!”
>“Technically it’s not Christmas any –”
>He nudges me and tells me to shut the fuck up
>Stammer out about 12 goodbyes
>Think I said “Have a good Christmas night” at least twice
>As soon as the door closes behind me I realize how absolutely fucking cringe I was
>Decide I can never go back
So Sup Forums, how fucking autistic am I?

Confirmed newfag bro ive seen far worse this shit A1 guud tho

Can't imagine how hard that must be..

Lol u dont wanna

Amazing read bro i really want u to go back so we can hear more! Also ive never been to a Dennys... im gonna go late at night with my bro this week lol

4channer/10

Of course, retard confirmed.

worse than i thought

>4channer
>channer
>anner
Get out.

reee normies get out of my Sup Forums

I almost can't believe this is true. i didn't think there could be someone more socially retarded than me, and I don't leave the house. I have no social skills and you're worse than I am. How does that make you feel?

>mfw

You should go back and attempt for her number. At least then that'll make up for being crinegy.

It's honestly not this bad usually. I think. At least I was self aware enough to recognize it this time.

It's like 4 in the morning and she's way out of my league. And probably gone by now tbh.

You actually remind me of the one friend I have. He goes full-on Filthy Frank sperg, but the dude can turn it on and off on a whim. I have no fucking clue how he does it.

See, like, I just have my random episodes of sperg for like intervals of an hour or two. I don't really control when it comes or goes but by fucking god do I know I was being a faggot when I come out of it.

Honestly that was pretty anticlimactic

Screen cap your story, try again and post back.


Maybe your friend was weirding her out.

At least you're aware of it. Though, hyper-awareness is awful. Whenever I interact with anyone I'm not used to, I actually shake and get visibly nervous. I know how I get, and that only makes it worse. I hate it.

Yeah, reading it back, it kinda ends flat. Then again, it did end pretty flatly when it was actually happening. I did kinda scream in the parking lot for a second or two walking back to my friend's truck. And yeah, maybe he was, but I didn't notice him doing anything weird

Shit dude, I'm sorry. Ignorance is bliss, I guess. I rarely notice anything's wrong when I'm in my little trances or whatever you want to call them. After, though, yeah, hyper-aware is a pretty good way of describing it.

Shit story. Couldn't even finish it.

OP here, completely agree.

I appreciate it, user. I've had a pretty fucked up past few years, and I've been trying to rebuild myself, so to speak. I'd like to be able to socialize like a normal human being again, but I don't see it happening anytime soon. On the other hand, fuck it, people suck anyway lolol

I wish you the best friend. It's 5am here, gotta get to sleep at some point!

5/10 hard to finish fiction, I've read better from Sup Forums. But nice try anyway

Yeah, I was the same way for a long time. Maybe you'll find some good friends someday. For now, goodnight dude.

Thanks, completely agree, my greentexting "skills" are mediocre at best. And it honestly wasn't that funny of a story. Realized that about halfway through writing it.

>but I didn't notice him doing anything weird
It could of just been him as a person. Like the way he looked.

Also I wonder if she heard your sperg howls

Honestly she probably did. I didn't check to see if she was looking at me but I'm sure she was.

And he looks pretty normal, but idk, maybe he reminded her of an ex or something. I'm not gonna pretend to be socially adept enough to be able to understand it.

Your story is so over the top, I have trouble believing if it really happened. The written out internal thoughts really nailed it for me.

That aside I think its possible that you are on the autism spectrum. But if it's any constellation I bet Zarah won't remember you after a few days.

I mean tbh if I'm not on the spectrum somewhere I'd be really surprised. This isn't the only time this sort of thing has happened. But yeah, even when I'm not a total failure of a human being, I'm still having that sort of internal dialogue like what I wrote in this. Pretty standard paranoid shit for me tbh.