That guy that doesn't buy a drink or snacks at the movies

>that guy that doesn't buy a drink or snacks at the movies

>not buying your shit at the store where it doesn't cost you a kidney
>not smuggling it into the movie theatre

This

If you don't do this just kys pham

in my local movie house you have to buy something from the confectionery otherwise your ticket isn't valid

I usually get a beer and a hotdog. No ketchup of course. I'm not a fucking faggot.

my cinema's coke tastes fucking amazing and i'm not poor

>Not having your Falcon carry your treats in
HAHHAHAH

>beer at a theater
German?

>not sneaking in some roast chicken and mashed potatoes in your pocket
It's like you want to not enjoy the movie

Underage b&

>Making "that guy" jokes

Fuck off, College Humor

Not sure why you buy that overpriced nonsense when you could do what I do and sneak into the theatre:
1.) Fifteen potato salad sandwiches on Hawaiian rolls.
2.) Six hard boiled eggs (unpeeled until the show begins to preserve flavor)
3.) Two large Tupperware containers (one for the wife) filled to the brim with Mac and cheese and a little bit of hotdog (plus Tabasco for that kick)

American actually but it's in a big city. They also serve wine there.

>>that guy that doesn't buy a drink or snacks at the movies

I usually bring a 6 pack and jerky

Smuggling into theater is always fun especially when you smuggle alcohol with your friends.

Alcohol isn't that common in most American theaters to be fair. Usually only in larger cities at huge multiplexes.

>that guys that still calls them "snacks"

This, honestly. And for extra fun, enjoy cracking jokes, laughing, and other expressions of merriment. Because you're with your friends, having a good time and loving life.

God I love movies.

>that guy who smuggles in beer and burgers

lmao

At my local kino shack it is the only exception to the No Singles rule

It only tastes good because you payed a retarded amount of money for it

I am going to a new Theater Friday night that has a buffet as part of the price

t. poorfag

>bring my microwave to heat up my lasagna to the cinema
>no wallsocket to plug it in

wtf?

>that guy who wears basketball shorts to the movies

>not buying vip ticket with phone chargers and sockets

baka desu

>that guy who yawns in between popcorns

>my cinema's cock tastes fucking amazing
Kill yourself faggot

>not going into the theater surgery room to trade your kidney in for snacks

>Having to sneak them in
>Not living in a country where they let you take in food

How do you bypass the no-singles policy?

>wasting your hard earned shekels on 500% marked up junk food.

Yeah,I bet those poorfags can't even afford crab legs and imported British titmilk tugged straight from the queen godsaveher.

Not a single theater here allows alcohol

>not smuggling in a box of Chick-fil-a nuggets and a large drink in the pockets of your cargo shorts

Like this.

>I'll wait for the Blu-Ray to come out

>mfw the Blu-Ray comes out but you have to buy it as a set with the standard definition DVD and digital copy so they jack the price up to $30 when all you wanted was the fucking Blu-Ray for 12 or 15 bucks

/fit/ pls go

>Not eating either before or after you watch kino
Disgusting. All of you.

>not using your kidney as a snack instead

>once in every 2-3 years a movie worth seeing in a theater comes out
>the only reason its worth seeing in a theater is because it is enhanced by being projected on a huge screen and its sound/music surrounding you as loud as fuck
>go alone because sitting in the dark and staring at a screen is not a social event
>skip the line of idiots waiting to deal with the teenage black bitch in the booth and walk directly to the touch-screen kiosk in the lobby
>buy my ticket and skip the line of obese lardasses waiting to buy overpriced pig-feed
>hand my ticket to the ticket faggot and then run up the stairs past all the lazy/old/fat people riding the escalator to my theater
>arrive early enough to get the best seat, directly across from the center of the screen so it fills my entire view
>wait patiently for the movie to begin
>wonder at the state of humanity as the retards surrounding me laugh at trailers for the worst fucking human shit garbage imaginable
>enjoy movie

Cinema popcorn tastes better tbqh.

>that guy that microwaved his lasagna during the movie

Like really? You're supposed to do that during the 2nd nap pause.

>that one faggot queuing alone

Go with your mom

Why would I?

>Americans unironically can't bring their own drinks or candy to the cinema

yuropoor here, I can't do that either

Get good.

Where are you from?

>that guy who doesnt take selfies during the flick

>not just snacking on the guy sitting next to you's arm

Italy. I don't think they actually care that much if you do sneak your own food in, though.

>jumpscare scene comes
>selfiestick automatically shoots up from the floor to capture the audience's reaction

>that guy who doesn't fuck his friend in the ass while watching the movie

people are so inconsiderate

yeah but you forgot your anvil back in the lobby

Cost of freedom my friend.

We never had anything like that here in Scandiland.

>Americans are unironically not free enough to take a shit on the street.

or their own folding chairs or toilet paper. they have to use the stuff the theater provides.
and they dont take their shoes off at the door, they actually wear them inside and get the floor all dirty the fucking peasants.
the only thing that i envy is that they don't have to pay the mandatory laundry fee for washing the sheet the movie is projected on, but I bet the fuckers probably still have to pay for it with taxes or something.

>that guy who shits and pisses while watching the movie because someone reserved the toilets for the night
just fucking hold it in until the movie is over

How much do you guys tip the preshow vape performance man?

I literally pissed myself during a movie out of social anxiety -didn't want to bother those sitting closer to the aisle-
I was 12.
It still hurts.

>go to see The Secret Life of Pets with my son
>concession stand is out of heroin
>didn't bring any from home
>mfw

>smuggle some berries in my fanny pack
>ticket ripping professional sends me to a special lineup
>get checked by search dogs
>finder's keepers policy means they get to eat my berries

if it still hurts you should see a doctor, user.
you might have a fissure in your bladder.

>tfw your country doesn't have bucket popcorn + cup soda culture

I mean they've been trying real hard to force it since mid 00s, but it's still perfectly normal to bring in your own stuff.

>that guy who crossdresses so he can smuggle in his own drinks in condoms disguised as his breasts

>that guy who asks for regular popcorn

>smuggle some berries in my fanny pack

you just gave me the great idea to cut a hole in the back of a fanny pack and then stick my junk in it through a concealed open fly.

i have rather large junk and it gets kinda cramped being shoved in underwear all day.. i bet it would feel pretty great to just have it all hanging out there in a jumbo-sized outside-of-my-pants thong.

>not watching 480p rips on your phone while you take a 2 hour long shit because you ate 3 buritos last night

Unironically now, phones are now at DVDs native resolution and screen size and literally no one complained about watching DVDs stretched on 32 inch TVs.

>and screen size
wut

I don't usually eat popcorn food and drinks because they give me the sharts. And it's like 20 bucks for all the food not including the price of a ticket.

>strict no blender policy

excuse me for wanting to drink a fresh berryshake.

Open a video in your favorite video player and set it to 'original size'. That's close to the 'real' size of that amount of pixels depending on your monitor's resolution. 480p is less than 7 inches IIRC.

>haven't been to a movie theater in a long time
>go to one with gf
>buy tickets
>go to the snack place
>8 dollars for a bucket of popcorn
>kek its like three dollars for an 8 pack at the store
>skip it and go to the movie
>lights turn off
>gf starts giving me head
>extremely stereotypical white family sits next to us
>its an empty fucking theater and they sit two seats from us
>ok enjoy the show then buddy
>tell gf to continue on
>white dad notices whats going on from the sucking noises
>leans over and tells me "hey can you stop"
>act like i didn't hear him
>he leans over and says louder "hey, stop"
>again act like i didn't hear him
>he gets up and walks over and leans down to me and says "hey buddy i'm trying to enjoy the movie and you've got kids sitting two seats away"
>i didn't tell you to sit next to me that was your choice grandpa
>put hand on my gfs head signaling her to continue
>"stop now or i'm gonna go get the police"
>grab handful of popcorn and shove it in my mouth and say "ok but your gonna miss the best part"
>he angrily walks over to his family and they all get up and move a couple rows away

why do people go to the theater? it sucks

>Being that fat, greedy and uncivilized that you can't go a couple of hours without shoving food into your mouth and pissing everybody off around you with your rustling and obnoxious crunching.

People who eat food during film are absolute gutter trash.

Then leave whatever shithole town you inhabit and visit a respectable kinoplex/brewery hybrid.

Does anyone else's cinema have "gimp seats?" They're like normal cinema chairs but with the seat replaced with something like this and buckets underneath. They're in the corners and apparently only meant for literal retards, but it's pretty comfy just letting nature take its course while watching a film and snacking. It sucks when people just use them as trash cans or they fill up and no one empties them, though.

>queuing
Is this some new unintelligible bong-speak?

how do you order your steaks when you're at the théatre

mid rare

>spend too long in the cinema shower
>my pizza burns in the self service clay oven
>my falcon gets hungry and attacks a child
>get banned from the cinema for two weeks and permanently lose my anvil privileges

It's going to be so fucking embarrassing when I go back anvil-less.

Blue rare.

>hand my ticket to the ticket faggot and then run up the stairs

because running down a hallway/up a flight of stairs doesn't look autistic at all

well done, extra 'chup

>tfw met friends for dinner and one of them literally put half a bottle of ketchup on a sirloin steak
I wanted to slap him

I think I sat behind you at that Neil Young movie. I should have said it then, fuck you man.

>he doesn't take his popcorn medium rare

plen, don't cry if you get raped during scheduled cinema showers

Jeez, don't leave us hanging, how was Storks?

literally just walk in with it nonchalantly

the 18 y.o working at the cinema isn't gonna fight you over a soda and a snickers bar

>not bringing your own water out in the open no fucks given
just try and take my water away

Are you me?

did this for the harry potter imax marathon. pure cinema

>ok but your gonna miss the best part"

Love that memory.

Every time I go see a movie it's with a friend of mine. We have a tradition where during the commercials/trailers one of us randomly says "I was banned for hacking in watch dogs" and we both erupt in laughter, causing a nuisance to everyone around us.

Gets us every time