I know you guys aren’t really the types of people I should be talking to for advice and analysis, but I don’t know who to talk to that won’t flip their shit and try to commit me. I had a suicide dream last night. It just felt so real, I was in control. I’ve contemplated suicide a lot and especially a lot recently but yesterday I finally decided against it. I know it sounds cheesy but I was self depreciating about what I will never have and I saw this picture of Jesus. I don’t know why but something uplifted me emotionally and said “it’s fine.” I largely lost interest in things that were harbouring my self hate and suicidal thoughts. Sounds very dumb. I get it. It seemed to be a great coping mechanism. Well, until now. I just remembered the dream I had lost night it and it’s strangely chilling. I don’t remember much about this dream. I know my mother was there somewhere, there were these rooms, and some forestry. I think there were other people there too. However, in one of the rooms (exposed to the outside) there was this small handgun. I did it. I stared down the barrel and I’m pretty sure I shot myself through the eye. For some reason it wasn’t instant. Like I could feel pain for a few moments, then my soul disconnected from my body. My body was still kneeling, perfectly stiff, and I was watching in third person. Everything was sort of, I don’t know, shimmering or glistening or something? Something was off. Shapes were off. I feel like I started to sort of see in “dark theme” where everything was dark, colours, and white lines, although it was still there. Only for a few seconds. I also get the vague idea that I saw galaxies or some shit very briefly. It had nothing to do with the scene of my dead body, just sort of the kind of stuff you’d see from the Hubble telescope I guess. Later in the dream I think I reunited with my body though I don’t remember, or maybe my new soul became my body? Will cont’d in thread, (1/2).
I know you guys aren’t really the types of people I should be talking to for advice and analysis...
too many words OP
tl:dr:dc
you had a bad trip OP
Dianna black lives matter Dianna black lives matter Dianna black lives matter Dianna black lives matter Dianna black lives matter Dianna black lives matter
Fuck off. I tried to shoot myself three times in the last week due to my dad being murdered, my mom dying from cancer, my car being destroyed, and being 60k in debt and about to be homeless.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
(2/2) recently I’ve had this plan to engage in some risky behaviour. It’s legal but very strange and creepy for sure. I did this as a method to cope for my suicidal thoughts weeks ago. I’ve bailed on this plan many times, at least a dozen. It’s dangerous and could result in bad shit for me, but again, I can attest to its legality. Something changed and I was happy again for a little while. Recently, however, this effect was reversed. I started feeling shitty again and was planning on going through with my plan. I might’ve even done it tonight and most likely would be completely fine. But I remembered this dream. Fuck guys I don’t know I’m feeling suicidal but I’m way too much of a pussy to actually do it. I can’t rell anyone though with the risk they’ll flip their shit. I can’t talk to anyone about it. I don’t look or act depressed. Nothing hurts as much as this. The thing that scares me though is that I had comfort in knowing that I’d never commit suicide. I’ve thought about it since I was in the single digits of age and seriously been considering it since I was 13. However, this changed. I thought I was too much of a pussy. In my dream, I wasn’t. I had no idea I was dreaming. Completely on my own I decided to kill myself because I thought it was real life. If I did it when I thought it was real, what’s to stop me from actually doing it? I don’t think I will but FUCK! Feelsbadman.
cry more baby your life is probably easy as shit
Tl; dr: After years of suicide contemplation I had a dream I killed myself because I thought it was real life. If I killed myself in a scenario that I thought was real, what’s to stop me from really doing it?
nothing, do it OP.
DO
IT
do it faggot
You’re goddamn right. That’s why I feel like such a fucking pathetic piece of shit. My life is easy but I still think about suicide constantly. The fact that I realize how much of a little bitch I am makes me more angry with myself and thus more suicidal. More than happens, the more of a pussy I become. It’s self perpetuating.
Honestly hearing you guys tell me to kill myself sort of cheers me up. Thanks
dear OP,
1. stop being a faggot
2. dont kill yourself
3. i love you, no homo
then do it or give yourself purpose like making other people happy, or dogs or something. Buy me pizza for dinner tonight [email protected] paypal especially if you an hero you should buy me pizza
That sounds like shit. However, not to be a dick, but, how do you fail suicide by gun 3 times?
oh are going full sellout mode
hey op send me your rich dads credit card number to give your life meaning
Thanks man. Like, genuinely. Thanks. I’ll try my hardest on #1.
DO NOT LISTEN TO THIS
Literally do not. Please be a faggot and for the love of GOD kill yourself. Do it for the dubs.
Well if there’s dubs involved. . .
I just want a pizza because I'm hungry and haven't eaten since Christmas eve. Sorry doing something for another person is too much for you. Keep wishing death on people fag
I genuinely care about you. You are an important part of the earth. dont listen to the other thirteen year old edgy cucks telling you to off yourself.
holly shit i just came here, to think that this place people call hell is one of the most human places to find
t 12 year old
Truthfully though, why do you care about me? I’m not saying you shouldn’t, but what have I indicated here that gives me value? How do I know you’re not just saying it?
> I can’t talk to anyone about it. I don’t look or act depressed. Nothing hurts as much as this.
because i know exactly how this feels.
maybe he genuinely cares about the health of any human being because they think they are all equal and all caring