I have a confession to make: I used to threaten to kill myself to keep my boyfriend from leaving me

I have a confession to make: I used to threaten to kill myself to keep my boyfriend from leaving me.

I am in no way condoning what I did, but at the time it seemed like the only thing I could do. I was constantly terrified but didn't know of what, and in my mind the pain I was putting him through was a small price to pay to avoid the neverending suffering that I feared would happen to me if he didn't stay and help me. And if he truly loved me, he wouldn't mind paying that price, I thought.

I also have another confession to make: I was never going to kill myself. I toyed with the idea, I would punch myself or bang my head against a wall or take some pills to make myself sick, but I never did it if I didn't have an audience. I fooled myself into thinking that suicide was an option because being alive was unbearable, but deep down I always knew there was no way I was putting my family through the horror of losing someone so young. Still, I was pretty much dead inside. I made increasingly unlikely threats and lies in order to get my by then ex-boyfriend to show me even the tiniest bit of attention. I was ruining his life and I knew it.

In the end, what saved me was precisely what I was most afraid of: He abandoned me. One day, he had enough. He stopped answering the phone, blocked me on Facebook, stopped replying to my emails. No matter how many times and in how many ways I threatened to end my life if he didn't talk to me or come see me, he didn't reply. And I was faced with a decision: Am I going to kill myself or not?

The first few days I was in such horrible agony I couldn't even speak, but after a while I found a sense of calmness. I had lost. Game over.

My worst fear had come true, and I was still here. So, the only way to go from there was up.

It has now been 6 months. I am far from cured, but it has been several months since I even thought about death, I can lead a normal life, I have made new friends, moved, and I am pretty successful.

Cool story bro

Don't be such a nigger

damn that sucks :/

A guy I'd only known for a few hours asked me to be my boyfriend right after having sex... Best part is, after a few weeks of seeing eachother I found out he already was in a long-term relationship. What a keeper.

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i have no idea how would that work. I wouldve let u

You are a disgusting humanbean and don't deserve a good man until you stop. Now that said tits or gtfo.

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The time is long but life is short so while living, go find yourself a better way. Nice story Sup Forumsy the way.

Huh, usually its the guys doing that instead.

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>"lol i don't care. kill yourself, you miserable bitch"

I'm scared that my bf might end up looking for someone else to satisfy his fetish. Since I don't share nor have a fetish myself like him, I'm too "normal" for him and fear that he might try to find someone else behind my back to try to satisfy his fetish urges.

Feels fucking bad.

And timestamp

You probably deserve it.

tits or gtfo.

>I used to threaten to kill myself to keep my boyfriend from leaving me
>I was never going to kill myself
Oh wow, you're the same conniving bitch every guy talks about but you swear you're not. Tell us more about how we should feel bad for you then shower you attention, Saying it's okay you did nothing wrong. Fucking cunt, Grow up, You're a bitch in heat who has no value as a person.

lol, all the girls do that

You were looking for attention then just as you are now by posting your story

Last year I was seeing this guy and it was very casual, I was seeing other people and I knew for a fact he was sleeping with other girls too. Funny thing is, he kept pestering me to be his girlfriend and be exclusive and told me that he loved me.
A few months later a friend from his hometown came visit him and he completely disappeared off the face of the earth for a few days: it turns out it was his long-term long-distance girlfriend!

I did some online digging and found the girl's facebook page, it was full of pictures of them and sweet comments - mostly on her part. I felt so bad for the poor thing, especially knowing that it wasn't only me he was cheating on her with, that I sent her an anonymous email telling her about her boyfriend's wandering penis. I tried to be as nice as possible to soften the blow. I felt bad about doing it anonymously, but we lived in the same dorms and he could have made things very difficult for me if he knew what I'd done.

I started avoiding him and ignoring his calls after that, and he pretty soon gave up. I think I did the right thing telling the girl but I'm worried

I lived this situation
My first gf used to threaten to kill herself if we ended also... We were in a horrible relationship, it was destroying my and hers life

It took me weeks but I got the courage to end. She really tried to kill herself and I had to find a way to save her. I made sure to take her out of drugs and put her in therapy before I vanished for real. 2 years later she found me and told she got married to another guy

Thing is, that girl destroyed who I was completely by that time, it took me 4 years without even being able to talk to a girl. And when I found another gf, I was deeply scared she would try to kill herself also

After 3 years of therapy and a new, responsible and really loving woman in my life, o can tell that I survived thru it. But at that time, she had destroyed me

Congratulations on destroying another human being OP, hope he has as much luck as I was and only waste some rears in fear and rejection, instead of spending his entire life in regret or throwing it away

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So does literally every other woman on this planet
you are not special.