Local shop has random last minute christmas gifts 90% off

>local shop has random last minute christmas gifts 90% off
>See a microscope for $5
>fuckyeah.png
>Buy it and forget about it
>Last night 2am bored, remember microscope
>letsdothis.jpeg
>Grab a leaf from a tree, same shit from highschool, boring
>lightbulb.gif
>Remember how cool sperm looked under microscope on TV
>Visit /gif/ for science
>Put sample on slide, plug in microscope
>holyfuckballs.jpeg
>Can see little soldiers swimming around
>Proud, walk away
>4am bored again, wonder how the little guys are holding up
>Oh shit they're still moving!
>Start checking them regularly over the course of a couple hours
>Start to get attached
>Another hour goes by, lost some soldiers
>feelsbadman.jpg
>Root for survivors
>Start to name them
>One big sperm in particular is doing really well
>Name him Giga Nigga
>Checking more frequently now
>More men down, but Giga Nigga fights on
>Now 9am
>Exhausted, ready for bed, check again one last time, almost entire sample has stopped moving
>Giga Nigga is still swimming like a champ
>Fall asleep for two hours, jolt awake
>Run to sample entire crew wiped out
>Scan slide for thirty minutes trying to locate Giga Nigga
>Finally found him
>hesnotmoving.gif
>Get upset
>Mourn loss of the great Giga Nigga
>Hold burial ceremony for Giga Nigga, placing slide in makeshift casket
>Sleep 14 hours out of depression for loss of Giga Nigga
>Wake up, visit /gif/ for science
>Look at microscope
>Smile, but then realize I'm so lonely I have to masturbate on to a microscope slide just to make friends.

tfw I have to watch them slowly die as the night goes on.

Made me tear up.
You got a friend in me user.

My heart goes out to you and Giga Nigga

>Saved
Thank you

The heat of the microscope light speeds up thier demise

OP, honestly, I just want you to know, Id like to be in the screen cap.

Good read, user.

...

I request a sperm is named after me user
Name the lil guy "hitlers best shot"

...

Now I need a microscope too.

And so he was named.

I sincerely love you user. I sincerely love you.

I believe in Hitlers Best Shot
Long live HBS
Stay strong HBS

R.I.P. Giga Nigga

putting your shame on Sup Forums for the world to see is not a win. you didn't win, user. you looked at your jizz in a microscope.

>hitlers best shot
Guess who just got a Star named after him?

What is this thread? I like it.

This is the best day of my life

...

Bump

Nigga you're seriously going through some real shit right now, please call someone

Leave OP alone

Rip giga nigga

Update:

We're down a few good men, but HBS is still swimming!

Though his outlook my be grim for making it through the night, his star will live on for billions of years to come alongside it's neighbors.

That was a girl sperm cell. The girl cells are huge (and slow) when compared to male sperm cells.
You watched your unborn girl slowly die, instead of pumping her into some female and letting her become a cute loli, faggot

RIP giga nigga ;_;7

>Kristen
>Cause you are my star

Feelsbadman.exe

I BELIEVE IN HBS

I didn't know that. I have a pet snake. RIP Giga Nigga, this could have been you some years from now. If I'd only known.

Guys.

I have some horrible news. HBS has stopped moving. He didn't make it.

It's really cold tonight.
So very cold.

I think it got to him.

I'm so sorry. RIP HBS

rip in peace

Rip HBS

),: i'll never forget you OP

post pics of Giga Nigga

thank you