How do I decide what to do with my life Sup Forums?

How do I decide what to do with my life Sup Forums?

I'm 34 and still don't know what to do. Where to go. Gonna have my mortgage paid off by 36 and could potentially go anywhere in the world to live my dream. The problem is I don't have a dream. Nothing interests me. I have no passion. No drive like I used to. Nothing to aim for.

All I know is I'm not happy doing what I'm doing and being where I am.

I feel like autism holds me back a lot in life. I have also become increasingly mentally unstable and much more anti social as I have grown older. These days I have little patience or tolerance for the smallest things. I'm bitter and angry and sad and lost all at the same time.

I just want a peaceful, happy life, where the people around me are happy, helpful, humble and grateful. Instead of all the belligerent, selfish, stressed out assholes I come into daily contact with here in the UK.

Does anyone else feel this way? Has anybody else overcome it?

I'm pretty much at the point now where I'm just going to make that last mortgage payment, write a will and then off myself in some ostentatious way just to feel some glimmer of excitement. Hell just to feel something. Anything.

Help.

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Try new things join new groups.
Join a club or something find something you are passionate about.

I used to be passionate about art, and music, and food. Somewhere along the line they all drifted off and just didn't light my fire anymore. Nothing does. That's the problem.

Try this

Just kill yourself

Try looking for a girl user. if u have love in ur life than you will be a very happy person.

:(

...

I've had everything from long term relationships to one night stands and everything in between. Even moved a girl in for 12 months until we split up. I am the happiest version of myself and the best version of myself when I am single. My mind is much calmer.

Also, I'm pretty sure all my past relationships have ended in some way due to my autism. I am best not inflocting myself and my tortured soul on another.

Love is not the answer for me user.

inflicting*

What To Do When You Don’t Know What to Do?

I used to be the same way until I sucked a log of shit out of andys ass

exactly. trips don't lie.

I feel you on this one, that's why friends are so important. You never get tired of good people you like, who you can hang out with and eat pizza. You never get bored of being around people you like. I can't however tell you where to find them, you'd have to do that yourself. Go out, find people with similar interests, go to groups, meet people on the internet, go to a pub, I don't fucking now.

Oh yeah, also this.
thoughtcatalog.com/maya-kachroo-levine/2016/01/22-productive-things-to-do-when-you-feel-lost-and-dont-know-whats-next/

consider devouring one of andy sixx's logs. live the way of the log. let the log slidd through you. feel born anew. emrace the log of sixx!

Im sorry user, you could try getting some treatment for your autism if you feel thats a main problem here

Thanks.

I used to be really sociable. I had lots of friends, and a close knit group of 6-8 of us that I would give my life for. One by one people moved away, grew up, got married, had kids. Now we're lucky if we hook up once a week with 2-3 of us on Playstation for a couple of hours. The few friends I had left I got rid of on purpose a few years ago. I started getting a bit of anxiety and social phobia and didn't want to join in going out anywhere, also didn't want people round invading my personal space. I hate any gatherings if there are more than 2 or 3 of us. I also got fed up with the drama of friends. I feel better for it, I think. I don't get lonely, I like my own company.

I don't think you can treat it. I don't think it's my main problem really, it's one of them, sure. But I think I've been depressed for a while.

I would suggest you focus more time on doing things you really enjoy. Since you have a mortgage, I'm assuming you have a pretty decent job/career, and have the means to do things like go on a vacation or pick up a few hobbies. I keep work and life completely separate. I see my job as only a means to earn money and nothing else. This allows me to spend more time doing stuff I love to do, which includes playing team fortress and boxing.

Yeah I am good at separating work and home life. Just that work is very unsatisfying and very stressful at the moment.

It's quite the opposite Re: disposable income. As there is only one wage coming into my house I struggle to afford to go out at weekends, vacations, going to the movies. Instead I tend to do cheap hobbies such as getting out in nature walking, staying in getting drunk and stoned, and playing vidya and illegally torrenting movies.

Job pays £22.5k. I think the average UK wage in 2016 was 26-27k. So less than average. Changing job though would result in a drop of 4-6k so pretty not do-able while I'm stuck paying a mortgage. Hence the drive to pay it off. But that's as far as my life plan/life goals go at the moment.

Pack your bag and travel the world. Meet people that lives in countries you had no clue even existed.
Somewhere along your path, your life will find meaning.

This is the best solution I can come up with so far.

>Somewhere along your path, your life will find meaning.

I can only hope this is true.

A darkness carried in the heart can not be cured by moving the body from one place to another...

Similar situation here OP, but 28, bought apartment with cash, have no loans and good paying soul-crushing job, which I now technically dont need to do anymore, just something to pay utilities and food.

Bought a car and motorcycle recently - they brought some fun for a couple of months, but its snow season and cant ride. Tried everything for hobbies - biking in groups, painting, model building, clay working, magnet fishing, video games, go to gym every day and am better than most on the looks department. I have a gf.

Slight undiagnosed autism (why im here), and crippling depression. Wake up, gym, work, go home on the 'chons, sleep, repeat.

>A darkness carried in the heart can not be cured by moving the body from one place to another...

And I also worry that this is true. So how to cure this darkness is what I search for.

You can try tho, if it doesnt work then try something else. I have run out of options, have traveled to USA (eufag here) and Uganda - both sucked and intend never to travel again. People are shit everywhere - nature and food can be nicer tho.

Still no idea what to do with life, since nothing gives pleasure or interests me even slightly more than doing nothing, which is why i just waste time and wait until i can go to sleep.

I have visited psychologist and psychiatrist, am on Zoloft atm and have been before, but really nothing helps, feel retarded and bored all the time.

Lets go to Holland and do shrooms and fuck prostitutes? This has been on my todo list recently as the one thing i would like to do before i eventually go back to drinking alone and killing myself

>Still no idea what to do with life, since nothing gives pleasure or interests me even slightly more than doing nothing, which is why i just waste time and wait until i can go to sleep.

So much this. The downward spiral began when I was around 24, and continues to get worse.

Travel-wise I think I could be happiest in Canada or Finland. I don't like it too hot. And think I would like to be quite remote, out in the coutryside for a nice quiet, peaceful life. But hey, I won't know until I try. Maybe it could be the right move. Maybe it could be just as disappointing as the rest of life.

Been to Amsterdam several times. Great fun. Never fucked a hooker though. Some of them are stunning.

My ultimate goal is to build a nice house in remote parts of Estonia (where Im from) and live there peacefully growing a little crops, chopping wood and stuff. Still need money tho for food, electricity etc even in that kind of lifestyle.

So ill force some more workyears out, try investing and do it.

Try committing to a political party or a movement, you should worry about the white genocide for example, and the raping of our people

Try psychedelics before you die or now if you want a intense emotional experience and shake your mind a bit that mind lead you to some places or make you schizoid.

Safe travels my friend! Maybe we'll meet somewhere along the road.

Reading through your posts OP, I can relate a lot to what you're saying. I'm not as old as you are (I'm 26), but I've heard that your general drive for life dissipates as you get older and I've felt that a little. Its good that you've spent your more energetic years building money and paying off a house, those things will set you up for a long time.

So in two years you're free of all responsibilities. If you have no direction, maybe its time to pack a bag and travel around for a bit till you find something worth staying for? It sounds like your autism has you depressed, and its likely that the depression is what is sucking your ambition away. Have you been through therapy?

And I feel you on the selfish assholes in the UK. But not everyone is like that. Its possible that you're projecting some of your own issues onto other people. I get that - thanks to some toxic individuals I have a tough time trusting people and getting deeper into friendships, and the fact that people are now starting to drift to start their own families and stuff makes it hard enough to begin with. If you start to make your own issues breech into that as well its no wonder you're having a tough time of things. Sorry if this post is all over the place - I'm just trying to get a feel for your situation.

Politics doesn't interest me in the slightest. I find it hard to process. I also have zero empathy.

LSD has my favourite effects of any of the drugs I have tried. But not one to be doing all the time, very taxing on the brain. Done shrooms plenty too. These days I just keep it to weed. With having to hold down a job and getting older, can't party like I used to.

this happened to me when i was 20 and i thought its not gonna be okay until last 2 years, i started skating as a full time hobby. im now 30 and i just learned how to skate the bowl. never felt good in my whole life

No that makes sense.

I have not tried therapy. Partly because I find it very hard to articulate due to the autism I think. The words that come out of my mouth don't always convey the exact feeling in my head/thoughts I'm trying to describe. Often I'll be on a forum, waffle on at a tagent and somebody will follow up my essay in one sentence, which also hits the nail on the head more than my ramblings. Also, I think therapists will tell me to quit weed. I prefer weed to alcohol though and in the rough times it keeps my bipolar more stable.

Forgot to add that I've been under a sress management program at work about my workload and illness, they offered therapy and I've been considering it a lot more seriously than I ever have before. Never pulled the trigger though for reasons stated above.

Glad it makes sense. And having done some therapy in my time, its well worth it. I'm on a waiting list at the minute to go into more advanced stuff, but its nothing like what you might be picturing it as. They do ask about drug and alcohol use, and all they ask is that you keep it to more acceptable levels for the simple reason that therapy doesn't work if you're out of your mind too often.

They told me to quit binge drinking every weekend and cut down the weed use from its unacceptable 1g a day - they recognise its medical benefits if the UK government doesn't. And just from that alone I began to feel much better - I still drink and smoke just not to excess any more, and its made the CBT techniques I'd read a million times actually sink in and be applicable.

Honestly I'd recommend therapy to anyone, even people who think things are going well, it can really help you understand the problems in your life. And its free in the UK thanks to the NHS, so make the most of it (the waiting lists take ages though, been waiting 3 months with one more to go).

As for the articulation issues, they help with that massively. A lot of what they do is just rephrase what you're telling them into easier to understand chunks, so you can process it better. A lot will be brought up, and you'll probably feel shitty the first few sessions because it does drag a lot of trauma up, but you'll be stronger for facing it head on.

I don't think I'm over the top. I treat it like most fols treat a beer. I have a couple of smokes (well I vape to the equivalent feeling of a couple of smokes, which doesn't even use a smokes worth of weed) after work on a weeknight, sometimes I get more stoned at weekend, sometimes I don't. I'll usually have a couple of whiskies on a Friday and/or Saturday night. I have the very occasional binge on nights out, special occasions these days, birthdays, leaving do, weddings etc.

That does sound pretty good actually. I have a health plan at work too and some amount of therapy is free, hence why it was suggested at work. Pretty sure it was cognitive behavioural. I did psychology A level, but that was a long time ago now. Thinking about it, even my psychology teacher suggested therapy to me way back when I was 17.

Yeah thats fine. Everyone's human and has some binges on whatever here and there, but if its infrequent and your general use is low you should be fine.

Yeah pretty much all therapy is cognitive behavioural, its the most proven to be effective. And thats good you have a health plan, that fact they say free means I'm guessing its private, which will be waay better. I'd advise going, if it doesn't work out you can always quit it, its not like you have anything to lose. I'd say go to at least 5 sessions before you call it though, and maybe even consider switching counsellor if that one isn't working.