i'm fucking worthless. i always thought that i was better than everyone else, that i had some sort of 'intelligence' that most people didn't have. but im fucking retarded. im the fucking permavirgin skinnyfat brainlet retarrd with no social skills larping as something more than he is. nobody actually wants to be around me, and the people im surrounded by either ppretend to like me because they have a biological drive to, they have a social responsibility to, or because i am a pushover autist that will give them whatever they ask for. i dont have a personality beyond anime and vidya bullshit. i look like the ufcking virgin in the virgin/chad memes, except he's probably more fit. ill never achieve anthing or be anyone other than a fucking loser faggot nobody wants to be around. i dont even want to be around myself. the idea that i'd find something close to mutual affection, or even intimacy, is laughable. nobody i'd ever want to date would find me even remotely attractive, and i have the fucking audacity to have standards for who i'd date. i'd be doing the world a favor in killing myself; the world doesn't need another one of me. and im the fucking retarded peice of shit that has to use fucking online message boards to talk about shit beause im so fucking incapable of dealing with my own fucking problems. who the fuck do i think i am to kill a thread over this fucking retarded nonsense bullshit excuse of a post
I'm fucking worthless. i always thought that i was better than everyone else...
Other urls found in this thread:
youtube.com
youtube.com
twitter.com
OP... didn't you know theres nothing more dangerous than a man with nothing to lose? Use this logic to shoot for the most far out dream you have, whether it be a female or financial goal. Dude what do you have to lose? Your life is already shit (described by you). You're free to do whatever the fuck you want and completely reinvent yourself son. You have more power than most. Realize this. Good luck. Don't game over motherfucker... thats for the forgotten.
>bioLOGical
You sound like my brother. My problem is I have no friends that arent druggies or dead, gf left for chad, havent spoken to a human being in six months outside of work and the internet. Im literally worthless. If I died would anyone fucking care?
An heros your only option
No, cause you live like a fucking pussy. Do something cool, and then maybe you'll leave a lasting memory. But really, why do you care bro. Why are you concerned so much on how you'll be remembered rather than how you remember yourself. You're free. You keep yourself locked down. You're like a nigger complaining about being black.
This
You have accepted that everyone including you personally, are fundamentally imperfect and prone to corruption.
You are on the correct path brother.
You are worthless, but that isn't important. Attempt to enjoy life anyway you can, because that's all you can do.
youtube.com
skip to 0:40
Mexican on X or on Shrooms feeling this song lol. Shit is gay as fuck. lol
Andy youre a girl stop it
...
>the most far out dream you have
>a female
Wow! A female! Far out man!
Fucking pussy-pedestal virgins.
thanks
It doesn't matter if anyone cares, you only have one life so stop giving a shit about what other people think and fix your shit. Or don't, do whatever you want mate.
I was literally just like you. DRUG addict no friend having loser who played body a and watched anime all day. Now I have more friends then I ever had and my life has real purpose. You want to know how I did it? JESUS. Find a luv bible believing Baptist church and get saved. Look up Pastor Steven anderson and don't forsake chur church congregants
You'll be fine dog, life is a learning experience. Being aware is the first step.
Good shit.
Have you watched "Phantom Thread"?
If you don't like yourself, how do you expect others to like you?
Work on yourself, find new interests and develop your skills, everything else will come along eventually.
You're smart enough to realize you're unlikable. Change this, grow up, become something you like
i dont believe in god. is there a point going to church?
Do you have actual diagnosed Asperger's or Autism?
Everything you describe sounds like you have trouble understanding other people, your surroundings and life in general, like you're disconnected in a way 95% of others aren't.
>unironically suggesting to believe in bullshit
You're potentially more fucked up than OP since you live inside a lie, but if that makes you happy...
Flash News, you can be an asocial prick without being autistic
Quite aware, but its in nearly every single autist, whereas being a complete asocial prick without good reason is much rarer.
Now who's talking there?
What part of your human constitution?
Is that a part of you or just a passenger?
Good servant or good master?
Who's really you? Who should be in control and why?
>is there a point going to church?
Yes. Your priest is too lazy, dishonest and unscrupulous to get a real job so he needs you there to give him tax-free cash.
no. i'm fine at understanding what other people are thinking. i can read between the lines and shit like that, so i doubt i have any major autistic traits. then again, i'm so used to my little bubble that i could just be completely misinterpereting all the shit people say and do. i guess it's possible. is there somewhere you know of that has some sort of situation with a Normal and other possible responses? like a video of a conversation where you have to describe what the people were thinking etc.
I'm feeling pretty shit, lost my job now I'm working part time at a grocery store. 19 years old and still a kissless virgin, my friends barely tolerate me. Didn't graduate high school because I gave up and stopped caring because I had no front and no one to talk to. I have 36 sleeping pills and a bottle of rum that's looking pretty good right now.
>I have 36 sleeping pills and a bottle of rum that's looking pretty good right now.
That won't work, mate. Tried it.
The big questions I usually ask;
Do you feel like you have anxiety and you don't know why?
Are you afraid of change, and do you normally have a difficult time adjusting to it no matter what?
Do you have trouble maintaining eye contact?
Do you feel like most other people "get it" while you're somehow unable to do so? Do you have friends or acquaintances of similar age and similar introversion who still "get it" better than you?
Literally all you need to do is work out for the rest of your life and spend some time in fucking nature bro.
step one - meditation
step two - real social dynamics.com / youtube
read books every week to boost your brain up
you will be ok user
I can get my hands on some adderall if needed, I just don't have the balls. I keep telling myself one more year, but nothing changes but the number on the calendar.
Op it sounds like you have the same problems I do... Like... All of em
I feel for you
But I'm to autistic to know a solution
Op I'd give you a hug you aren't worthless
typical white
So I'm assuming that you're not wanting to up and leave anything like your personal possessions, which tbh if you hate your life so much and you're younger there's a certain freedom that can come from having no ties to the material world. This would naturally give you much more foundational experiences in life than some faggot naruto hero talk and meme fodder.
As I've said though I doubt you want to do this so I'll offer a different alternative. That is to get interested in the world. Find some self motivation vids on youtube, look at how to videos, read articles about things you find interesting. If you don't find anything interesting it means that you don't KNOW what is interesting to you, so you have the freedom to pick any hobby or way of life that you can think of and try it. Try everything, try something new every day.
Don't stick to just one genre of hobbies, either. Do some jogging, change your diet, ride a bike, go to a gym and play some basketball with a friend you think would be into it. After that learn some art shit, maybe you'll like photography, or painting, or drawing, and if you do like it then you can do research into different tools and styles that you can try out. Last but not least try some old school hard work hobbies like carpentry or homesteading. During the summer I learned how to make rope from tree bark and I made matching necklaces for me and this super cute blonde chick that is typically out of my league (we went on multiple dates and in the end I didn't like her). Doing those "hard work" hobbies will pay off in the end; when you learn to stop bitching like a woman and actually do what you have to to accomplish and make something substantial you will feel so much better about yourself because you can say "I can do this now, I can do something that other people can't."
Good luck to you OP.
>Now who's talking there?
>What part of your human constitution?
it's the part of me that tries to exist outside of my biased understanding of myself and the world.
>Is that a part of you or just a passenger?
i think it's a part of me, and it's an important tool to guide myself to where i need to be.
>Good servant or good master?
i guess i shouldn't let the fact that i'm not what i want to be deter me from trying, at least. what i know i am shouldn't control me, because i know what i want to be, and that's independent of what i see myself as right now. even if i dont get what i want, maybe if i do the things i think the perfect me would do, i could seem like i am.
>Who's really you?
if i knew that i would hopefully have a better understanding of where i need to go from here. but i dont know shit about myself, and it's impossible for other people to know shit about me.
>Who should be in control and why?
i should be, not my perceptions. because i have the influence over what i do and what i become, and because if i let my perceptions control who i am, i won't be anything more than them, and i'll lose the parts of me that my perceptions don't have, like the ability to change, to try and be more, or to even ignore my perceptions.
thanks, user. i guess that ambiguous nonsense was more meaningful than first glance would have you believe.
you deserved it
>Do you feel like you have anxiety and you don't know why?
i dont think so, i mean i have anxiety whenever i have to work the register at work, but other social scenarios aren't that bad.
>Are you afraid of change, and do you normally have a difficult time adjusting to it no matter what?
i don't know what 'change' entails, but i've moved and done stuff like that without issue. my schedule is different week to week
>Do you have trouble maintaining eye contact?
for sure
>Do you feel like most other people "get it" while you're somehow unable to do so?
idk what 'get it' means. i can tell what other people are thinking like i said. i just don't give back in meaningful ways. i don''t carry the conversation out very well, unless they are people i know well. and even then, if there's nothing new it can just die for a bit.
idk. i appreciate the time though, man
im interested in everything, man. there's not much i can do about it though. it's not like i can go out and buy soldering supplies or a woodchipper or someting, that stuff takes space and money. i do different things to my diet/exercise, but i always fall off and stop.
how do you do all of those things?
Not OP but I answered a resounding yes to all those lol.
I don't do all of it, and I don't use anything as big as a wood chipper.
Personally, I read and listen to a lot of philosophy. I got really into Buddhism for a while and moved onto Taoism, eventually I want to get to Confucianism but I'm just wrapped up in other things atm.
There's tons of philosophers out there that aren't just from the east though and they aren't hard to find. Famous people from Greece, Rome, pre WWII Germany, the list goes on.
I made rope with a pocket knife, a cut open jug of water, a piece of wood to cut stuff on, and the internet. You really don't need a lot to learn, there's lots of skills to have. I think that's a big problem with recent generations is we're losing a lot of those basic motor skills that older generations used to have till corporate machines took over en mass.
Art wise there's lots you can do, I run a super unsuccessful blog but I don't mind because it's not the only thing I'm into. Get a stack of blank notebooks or drawing pads, or get a digital camera and go to places you think are interesting and take pictures.
Diet wise it really helped me to have a buddy to diet with. At first me and my work out buddy tried hard to go to the gym 2 days a week, but eventually it's just second nature and we'd go 2 days in a row easily because it was fun. As far as diet goes, don't do anything fancy. Look on the internet the general tips people have, and figure out what your body likes. I've tried low carb, fasting, all kinds of shit, but it's all bullshit if you just don't eat junk food, make sure you eat throughout the day, and exercise.
Anyway I'm goin to bed.
OP the first step to self realisation is knowing that you have an ego, learn to carve away from your hubris and find your centre for ego is the anaesthesia that dulls the pain of stupidity. Start with simple things such as getting an interest for example working out at the gym, research something and when you do it do it properly with no ego. Consistancy is key, little bit by little bit everyday just keep improving on things that interest you. Learn to discover the world around you and your interests will swallow you. I know because i used to be like you, thinking i was somehow something more and then i got rid of my ego which was killing everything around me.