midnight feels thread Sup Forums whats your feels?
It's my birthday Sup Forums! still feeling the full effects of depression and feeling like shit but that's okay, not everyone is meant to live. thinking of an heroing soon, i just can't handle this anymore.
Yeah. I got nothing. Give it until at least 30 tho. That way you can put some money into social collective before exiting.
Happy birthday user.
Heeling is pointless. It doesn't change shit if you die tomorrow or years from now, dying is gonna be the same. But in this time when reality is looking more like a south park episode, do you really wanna be the guy that missed the best episode?
I've been using this site for years. I still don't understand an-heroing. If you have nothing to live for, what's stopping you from just wandering this lonely ball of water and dirt and seeing just how far you can go before you inevitably kick it?
thank you user!
yeah, and thats a good point.
I can't speak for everyone but when the pain gets to great and your world is so dark and you can't find any source of light, dying doesn't sound so bad.
it's hard for most people do understand because they have a support system that helps them what through whatever misery that plagues them but when you have no one, when you care about a lot of other people but you realize they couldn't care less about you, when you truly are suffering alone dying doesn't sound like that bad of an idea.
I don't think it's something most people would understand but when you truly are alone, well, it's a fucking awful feeling.
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Birthdays are the worst. Happy Birthday. Remember you're at least not alone in feeling this way.
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thanks, and they are.
you guys are probably the only people ill talk to today tbh.
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I'm ten thousand miles away in a bad, sandy country full of people who hate me.
I go there every night. It makes me wish I had died there, because at least then I would be a "hero".
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>dubs
you in the military? sorry to hear about all the hate.
dedandrei declined my offers on his unusual hats. im pretty bummed out about that tbh
I'm out now. I got called a babykiller and got spit on and worse while I was in.
But now I'm out, and it's just awful hard to let go of what happened over there.
But I shouldn't have been so damn dramatic about it.
Sorry OP, happy birthday man. I hope things get better for you. Try getting up in the woods, it always helps me to get my head clear and realize just how beautiful the world is.
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my boyfriend keeps sending me this pic
i dont know what it means and im scared.
this dog is sad and it makes me sad :(
im feeling a little ragey why are drunk normies so fucking stupid
>drunk normie sister is on the other side of town needs a ride
>sign into uber and try getting her a ride
>friend that let her use a phone is gone
>order uber and call store and see if she is still inside
>store said shes been gone for 30 minutes
>cancel uber and lose shekels from a partial ride
>turn off phone for 5 mins because she called
hows your guys nights going
How deep in the hole do you need to be before you've fetishized your depression?
Happy birthday.
thank you :D
it's going okay, im drunk to, drinking gledfiddich 14 tonight, what are you drinking?
yeah idk what that means too, maybe he wants you to cut your hair short and pump some iron at the gym and then put his dick in a headlock?
thanks m8 and thank you for serving the country, I can't imagine the stuff you've been through and I won't pretend like I do but a lot of people do know that you're a hero, only pussys have a problem with x military. hope you're doing okay and can get through this. taking an extra shot for you, cheers
I'm glad you're having a good time.
Be safe tonight my man. The world needs people like you.
Scientifically speaking, you're the center of the universe. Yes, you. The one reading this. I'm also the center of the universe. The corner of the room you're in is the center of the universe.
Vsauce helps my feels, not even lying
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and you are?
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Been there man. You gotta realize that life is pointless and that is our purpose. Just to live. There's nothing more wonderful than simply breathing, thinking, and existing. I know it sounds stupid and when you're in a bad place you won't believe me but give it sometime. Even when life is at its very worst, we are alive, we can experience the world around us for such a brief moment out of eternity. We're here for no reason other than being here, and even if you feel it's terrible and there's no point, remember that just being around is the point. We get 80-90 years max, might as well just experience them, there's no reason to be afraid and coward out. Be courageous, go on and feel life to all it's extremes.
I'm the man your mother calls when she wants some cock.
Go fuck yourself.
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No man, you can be dramatic about it. You've seen and done shit that most people in the world will never do. I'm sure you we're there for your brothers and sisters in arms and not just to shoot brown people. You don't have to die to be a hero to America, just the fact that you gave part of your life to put yourself in danger to defend me, my family, my friends, and my fellow Americans you really are a hero. Thank you, I know you will struggle with abuse from people who don't understand what you've been through, but you sacrificed part of your life so that they could have the freedom to do that, and protecting freedom that hurts you for freedoms sake is the most American thing you can do. Thank you, you really do matter.
I mean that only could care you if you have done something you regret for. and mate ,I tell you, that will haunting you till death.
if not then fuck it
Depending on how severe and under the circumstances it's possible to distance yourself from traumatic and amoral things. Being told to open on a building to later find out civies were inside is easier to deal with than executing an 11 year old after he dropped his gun and cried.
Hey man, thank you. This means a lot. I don't really want any recognition. I just miss my friends who didn't get to come home, and I miss not being afraid all the time. The war changed me in a way that will probably never go away. I'm glad it was me instead of anyone else though.
I'm not quite sure what you mean man. But I did some things over there that have stained my soul forever. That's not hyperbole. I hurt people, innocent people, and I'm going to fucking burn for it.
This. There is no great meaning to life. You're here, and there is cool, funny, beautiful shit around you so just.. try to enjoy the ride, champ. I know I try. And I'd like to be able to say on my deathbed: "Fuck you world, I won, I managed to find beauty and happiness, so.. fuck you."
Recently had my birthday. Only my immediate family said anything, didn't get much from anyone else. I have only felt emptiness. I don't know what to do anymore. I don't speak much to my friends anymore, and I can't form any kind of real relationship, it's not that I don't try, I seem to lack the ability to actually do so and I don't know why. Just discharged from the military, no job, no real desire to go anywhere in life, no ambition.
It's okay though, because there needs to be an example every once in a while. Maybe that's me.
I just say i prefer to be a bad soldier than a bad human being
the only one that you have to worry about he thinks of you, is the guy that you see in the mirow.
You should totally kys, wasting all those resources that could have been better spent somewhere else.
Where are you from, if you don't mind me asking?
It just seems like English is not your first language. What conflict were you in?
Come kill me yourself, pussy.
I didn't want to imply that you were in it for glory or the goal of being a "hero", I just wanted to let you know that, not just you, but the past, current, future, and the soldiers who made the ultimate sacrifice are appreciated. War changes people, always has and always will. I'm sorry, even though I'm sure you don't want an apology, that you've had to experience these tragedies. I hope one day you are able to find peace in your life with your time over seas, you've gone above and beyond what I could ever ask another person to do. Stay strong, stay with us.
Thanks for the thread guys.
Gladly. The US military is full of mentally ill traps, fags, and whiny crybabys nowadays. Back in WWII boys manned up, did their shit, and didn't go weeabo boards to garner sympathy.
I had to watch my best friend (at the age of 20) bury his mom over the weekend. His dad died a few years ago. It fucking hurt so much to listen to him deliver the eulogy and now all I can think about is that I'll have to do the same thing for all my friends and family. And I'm not ready for that.
I'm not going anywhere, man. Got to stick around and see what happens.
I did my killing. I did my time. I did things that sometimes make me tear up when I think about them. I'm not trying to create some kind of mystique around being a soldier, it's not glamorous or good. I'm just saying that when you swear that oath you pass beyond the veil, and you're bound for a strange land where violence is the universal language.
I did have one good experience though. There were always kids around, when we went outside the wire. We were wary of them, of course. We didn't want them to come near. But when we patrolled villages, we usually handed out candy and whatever. I would give them pencils and paper. A kid who can draw can see a whole new world. I hope one day those kids live in a world without war.
Argentina former soldier, not wars over here ( yet)
but been in war zones whit the blue hallmets
You ever killed anyone? For real?
You ever seen a person be alive one second and then dead the next?
Probably not. I have though.
Got me an 8 ball of coke after spending the last 56 hours eating 5mg of Klonopin, gonna get intresting.
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Tu anglais muy bueno.
(Not sure if I said that right)
You have a great country. You're a good person to want to protect it.
I have no doubt you have, problem babies and children.
There is more to depression than loneliness but good post. Oh and happy birthday OP!
What people also dont realize is that when a person reaches breaking point they have absolutsly zero motivation left in them. You want them to go out and explore the world before killing themswlves? Putting on a sock at this stage kf depression is already a challenge. And im not overexagerating. If OP had enough will left to go outside in the world and explore he would have been depressed in the first place
He wouldn't have been**** spell check is a bitch when drunk. Cheers!
This is a good point.
But maybe that's what we need. Make that one last effort, even if it takes everything. Go out and see the sun. Feel the snow under your boots. Feel the wind on your face.
If you can get outside you're going to live.
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kek so real
I can guarantee you that those children will remember you for the rest of their lives. I've met several elderly Koreans who were children during the war and they almost tear up talking about the G.I.'s that would give them Bit-O-Honeys or wood for their oven even 50 years later. You changed more lives for the better than you may think. You made a real, positive different in so many peoples life. I don't know what you've done, good or bad, but be proud of the joy and kindness you've brought, and try to find remorse and self acceptance for anything bad you may have done (if any.) You're actions and feelings don't define you, it's how you react and change for the better because of them.
I'm actually afraid that my mind has learned how to just push my depression aside. About a year ago I was on the edge of ending it all. A total mess. I still feel it there. Slightly however when it surfaces my brain sort of pushes my thoughts into a different direction. Every time. Have I learned to just live with it?
I agree with you. That one last effort requires the will of Thor though. It's really hard when a person has no support. Im not talking family here. Im talking friends or even a psychiatrist/psychologist. I was on the brink of suicide once. I honestly thought it was my last day on earth...i called my closest friend who i trust with my life. She came over and stayed at my house for a few days. Nothing she said would help as much as just the physical presence reminding you that there is good left in this world. What did I do aftter that? I took all the money i had saved (around 3k) and went on the best vaccation of my life. I travelled for 1month alone and i saw so much. Met so many new faces and persepctives. And ever since i do this yearly. Im a hug shut in and work.is the only time i see the outside of my house. But i save and i save and then i travel for a month alone. Every year. Its a nice tradition to keep u goinf the rest of the year. Anyways, long ass post. Hope it helps.someone
Oh yeah, they'll remember the guy that riddled their childhood friends full of fucking bullets. Then grow up up to be terrorists too.
I don't think he meant depression is only loneliness, but when that Darkness really takes over you can feel alone and helpless which will just push the sadness and hopelessness farther with no feeling of possible help, because you feel alone and like everyone hates you. Which they don't.
I'm really glad that you exist in this world, as one extremely dysfunctional person to another. It makes me happy knowing that you go and live at least some of your dreams. I'm very happy for you.
You're a good person and you deserve all the happiness in the world.
You have a very warped since of what it's like to be in the Middle East. Many of our youth are either split between the American West and Islamic extremism, with many, many, many more following a Western way of life.
I get you man. People dont get how bad loneliness can affect a person. I agreed with OP. What i meant to say that lonliness is a part of depression just not all off it.
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Thank you.
Cheers, bro! Same to you. Having to live life with a handicap really sucks but gotta try to make the best of it
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I think we were both just clarifying the same point, because depression is such a complex and varying issue that manifests in dramatically different ways at different times,
You had a great explanation, but team work makes the dream work.
I can't possibly explain to you the moral dilemma that being in Iraq presented. A 10 year old kid with binoculars was more of a danger than any fighting age male with an AK. The insurgents used children as spotters and messengers. There were times where there was a conscious decision made to let a kid live, and he called in mortars on us. There were other times where we leveled a house with an air strike rather than risk lives clearing it.
But you never had to do any of that. You got to live a life of comfort while better men fought your generation's war, and you will always be a coward.
thanks, and yeah thats 100% true.
A war halfway around the world that had no affect on the western world other than to lower the price of oil. Killing kids isn't manly nor does it make you a better man. I'm half mad that the army does this to people and makes them think they're hero's but also you have to take responsibility for your actions of murdering innocent people. War is wrong and the conflicts in Iraq and Afghanistan have done nothing but make the entire world a more dangerous place.
That kid with the binoculars probably saw his whole family murdered infront of him because you guys *airrstriked* his house as you said in ur post. What do you want him to do? Bow down and praise the arrival of American soldiers? Stop seeing rhe invasion of Iraq as a favor you guys did to them
My point is that you never had to face the decisions we did, and therefore cannot possibly judge our actions.
I get your moral outrage, but honestly, you wouldn't have given a fuck about dead Hajji kids if it wasn't trendy. You're a sycophant and a hypocrite.
The only decision you faced was stay in america and work hard or go to Middle East and get paid to kill. Dont for a second think you are a better man because of it.
Happy birthday user! I hope you aren't like me and aren't dry on your favourite thing in the world...
>tfw my dealer didn't have enough for my fix
>tfw now I'm waiting for the withdrawl to kick in
Anyone know where I could get some H in the Baltic States?
I don't think not going over seas makes someone a coward, they just prove them selves good and heroic people in no combat way. People who haven't seen the combat while never understand that, but you should be thankful they don't. Their ignorance of war is what we're fighting for, out there so it stays away from home and keeps Americans safe and free. If that's not why you became a soldier I don't know why you would unless it was to just kill "punjabis" which is real cowardice. Real bravery is knowing when to step up and be a man and when to be humble and kind, when to lead and when to follow, courage is knowing yourself and making you a better you for the world.
Still a better man than you. At least I stood for something. What are you worth, really?
I face these decisions now because of America and the UK. My way of life is threatened because of these wars. At least before they were just killing each other but the wars have displaced pakis and rag heads nearly all over the world. Don't for one second think you've had it hard because now everyone else has to suffer. Prior to these wars the only terrorist attacks in my city were IRA many years ago but now lone wolf's seem to be attacking Europe on an unprecedented scale. Tell me how you've made the world a better place. Stupid military prick.
10 of you lad
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Think you have it bad? My weed dealer quit selling and now I cant find any, ever. Ive been smoking carpet weed and pipe resin for months now
Im worth absolutely nothing to be fair. I am in fact a sandnigger as you call them. I have seen with my own eyes the destruction American *Liberators* have caused. I work as a psycholgist for an NGO that deals with the trauma the children have suffered. I have zero respect for soldiers from any country except for those fighting foreign invaders. Have you seen what you have done to thousands upon thousands of children? Fuck the jihadi scum but the children are fucked for life. No chance at a normal life whatsoever. While fuckheads like you sit in comfy America patting each other on the back for a job well done. If only your family/children knew the horrors u commited. You would never be loved again. But no, u and ur media lie to the Amerivan citizen saying you are war heroes. Pathetic
He's worth standing up for himself against self righteous pricks who think because they've fired a gun at someone they're better than everyone. So many people serve and are humbled by the experience of being that close to death and having to kill, but you seem to take pride and joy in ending life but called someone else a "sycophant" because they cared for the life of a stranger. Death becomes necessary in war and sometimes in life, it doesn't mean we have to pride ourselves in it and rejoice, we can reflect on how taking a life changes you and how you can use this new knowledge to improve yourself and maybe stop anyone else from having to go through the horrors you did. Every human is worth something, but you're really hindering yours by attacking people for simply not flying to a desert for what appears to be a selfish quest for honor and glory. So besides your badges, what are you worth?
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Oh boo hoo, no more weed for you. I can't function without my fix of heroin, lately all the dealers have gone under I've noticed...
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I CANT FUNCTION WITHOUT MY WEED FIX IM GONNA FUCK
Eh, same shit, diffrent drug I suppose..